You will find that all of the pre HT anxiety is unnecessary. I know it is hard, because I went through the same thing. The procedure is not bad at all (not a walk in the park, but for surgery, not bad). You can't completely conceal it in your eyes, but with the size procedure you are having, no one will notice after the first couple of weeks. I went out to dinner 3 nights after my HT and told the person I was eating with that I just had a HT and they told me they would not have known if I had not told them. You will look back and say to yourself, "why did I get so stressed out over this?" and you will be happy you finally did something about an issue that has bothered you for a long time. You are in great hands dude. Hang in there.