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Mrdott

What does hair loss mean to you? Pain? Loss? Ugly?

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What's the most emotionally draining issue you have or had to deal with when losing your hair?

 

Mine would probably be the feeling that I have become less desirable which has effected me socially and professionally....it's a constant torment...almost like an arrow pointing to my insecurity....

 

Would love to hear what others feel...

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Hi Spanker

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

But what pressures and pain do you feel have caused your anxiety and depression?

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What's the most emotionally draining issue you have or had to deal with when losing your hair?

 

Mine would probably be the feeling that I have become less desirable which has effected me socially and professionally....it's a constant torment...almost like an arrow pointing to my insecurity....

 

Would love to hear what others feel...

 

I think the term "less desirable" hits the nail on the head. Hair loss is generally associated with getting old, but when it happens at a relatively young age it can feel like you're missing out on your prime. Like the youth is getting sucked out of you.

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I think the term "less desirable" hits the nail on the head. Hair loss is generally associated with getting old, but when it happens at a relatively young age it can feel like you're missing out on your prime. Like the youth is getting sucked out of you.

 

I have to totally agree with you there, its definitely like premature ageing, a sign that your over the hill....had a chuckle at 'like the youth is getting sucked out of you', a chance would be a fine thing...lol

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used to cause anxiety for me about the future, always thought I'd be bald before grey and definitely bald in my 40's. took some proactive intervention to stop that ;-)

now I don't worry so much but sheds still make for a bad day

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I started thinning in my 30's and it was just a slow progression but it never bothered me to the degree that I would get depressed or hide my head. I am NOT a hat guy and I am NOT a shaved head guy either. The real heart of the matter for me is that I am a musician and I always take pride in my stage appearance. For most of the late 90's and from 2000 - 2010 I performed in a 60's tribute act and we wore costuming and wigs. Problem solved. But I stopped doing that and now perform as 'me' so the thinning hair has been a concern. I am not of the mind to go the 'baseball cap' or 'backwards beret' and pony tail look so I pulled the trigger on a HT at 64 years old. I'm only two month post-op but I know I'll be happier with my looks and more confident when the lights go up !

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Before, I would say uglier, less self esteem, constantly thinking of it, but after getting a HT and using some nanogen(godsend) I feel so much better, and def gettin more looks of da laaadies :) just need some Botox for few lines and I'm good ta go

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I think the term "less desirable" hits the nail on the head. Hair loss is generally associated with getting old, but when it happens at a relatively young age it can feel like you're missing out on your prime. Like the youth is getting sucked out of you.

 

 

That is exactly how i felt. like i couldn't go out with my friends etc without looking like grandpa :(

 

now i have some hair again it feels fucken awesome!

 

i never really felt depressed though just annoyed

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For me it has significantly knocked my self-confidence and now feel very unattractive. I now struggle to look people in the eyes and avoid social contact as much as I can. I actually split with my long term partner about a year ago and dappled in the world of online dating. To be honest the general experience was quite positive. However I stopped as I am booking in for HT with Dr Lorenzo in July/August with a plan to rejoin online dating once my HT is undetectable (about a year post op) I will be intrigued to see if I actually appeal to more women with more hair than before the HT!!!!

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Guest shreyas24

Not only you, it is common to all across the world, because hair is beauty mark to men & women. It definitely effects our social as well as personal life too.

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Guest shreyas24

It definitely effects on our social lives as well as we can get personal insecure feelings also.

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Guest shreyas24

It definitely effects on our social lives as well as we can get personal insecure feelings also.

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I embarrass myself at times, because (even up to going for HT surgery) I had a lot of demons wrangling inside of me with things like..."Aren't you just being very vain? How can you spend this sort of money on cosmetic surgery when others are struggling to put food on their plates and roofs over their heads? It's not the hair that makes 'you' it's your character & personality and actions...etc!!

 

But...at the end of the day and after much soul searching (just look how long I've been a member 'here!' ) I pulled the trigger and went for it.

And even on the taxi ride to the clinic in Istanbul, I was still asking myself, as it felt so surreal..."Campbell? are you 'really' doing this???"

 

BUT... for 'years' now since having MPB from my late 20's I have been looking in a mirror to see what others see, and there has been this OLD MAN looking back at me who I just don't recognise. I felt a young man 'imprisoned' inside the shell/husk of an old fella. And I thought...'that time will come soon enough' through the natural course of nature and age, but for now I want to be proactive and take control of things and make changes 'if' that is within my doing.' And it was...and I 'did.'

 

Because I wasn't happy and was 'surprised' just how 'hairloss' can seriously change how you look to 'you' and to 'others' and how others interact with you (at home and in the workplace). And in turn this sets in place a chain reaction of how others see you, deal with you, treat you...and further down the line it impacts on how you see yourself & impacts on your own self value, self esteem and self confidence. And I was falling prey to all of that.

 

So...'I chose' to change things around and it's a long term plan and I don't take for granted how priviledged I am to be living in a part of the world, with the finances and time to do something like HT, as there are people out there who just couldn't afford that luxury. But I balance it with the things I do that invests time and effort into helping others.

 

And I'm seeing changes in 'me' already for taking that first proactive step of going down the route of HT (It actually takes 'balls' guys just to do it, so that's a great start!) and also 'visually' I'm seeing the positive difference and the future potential of 18 months down the line and 'again' I feel that lifting me in terms of self confidence and what else I can achieve in life!

 

Right, before you all fall asleep or shoot yourselves, I'll leave you with that :)

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Hair loss has significantly decreased my self confidence. I have a short haircut and the receding hairline has not been very visible, however my wife has noticed it, and some of my friends and colleagues have also started throwing their 'smart' comments in regards to my hair loss. All these made me feel depressed and less self confident.

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A majority of my hair loss happened within the past 3 years which is when my (unrelated) depression/anxiety and weight gain began. So the timing was not good and it made me even more depressed. I used to not care about my hair but I'm getting borderline obsessed with it now, checking the mirror daily and taking photos of the progression.

 

Despite the fact that I shaved it bald during my initial freak-out, I am letting it grow. I'm at that stage where some days it doesn't seem that bad, but others it looks horrendous. When I look in the mirror, what I see looking back at me is not the same person from a few years ago. Most of the time, I feel like I look old and ugly. It has really made me take a hit in the self-esteem department. Photos always show how bad it is.

 

It's like a part of me is going at too young an age - Most of my friends are not having this issue. Also, the finality of MPB bothers me - Knowing that if I let things ride, it will just get worse and that the chances of getting any of it back are slim to none.

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I've always felt like a pretty confident guy at my core. I realized though, slowly, as the years went by, how fragile my ego and sense of self actually was. How critical my looks were tied to how I viewed myself. I believed that on some level the frustration that comes with hair loss was understandable. But I also looked around me and saw people who had seemingly just "accepted" their fate... And I'm just not wired that way.

 

It took me awhile and a lot of analogies later to feel justified in my frustrations, and become proud of my decision to take action while so many others remained idle. To this day I see friends of mine who I know are truly frustrated on the inside-but will do nothing. Ever

 

I think everyone who's decided to take control of their fate should be applauded. I'm still awaiting my results, but no regrets. Life's too short to have any of those.

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The sense of losing control. It's a stark visual reminder of how little control we have over our bodies and our eventual decline.

 

Ugh. But you are right, having the ability to intervene at all is a good thing. There are worse things that can happen to us physically that we have ZERO ability to stop.

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Girls have told me I went from good-looking to fugly.

 

But hopefully getting a HT will get my life back. We shall see

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It only really impacted with me in my forties , started to avoid social situations , in a funny kind of way way I think

It's probably really bad for young good looking guys I remember years ago when I Lived in Dublin there was a young actor bit of a man about town all the women loved him think a young Paul Newman Marlon Brando I didn't bump into him for about a year but in that time he went from having a full head of hair to pretty much a NW 5 , still a good looking guy ,but I think we can safely say he could forget any leading man roles

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I'd have to agree with most of the posters here. I myself have always been a confident kind of guy who took a great deal of pride in my appearance. As far as looking after myself and dressing well, the hair thing was something that was out of my control. I gradually started to withdraw myself socially and the realisation that it was affecting my life sunk in.

 

As a forty something I just wasn't ready to give up and accept my fate so I did something about it and got my life back. Best thing I ever did.

 

Also having a couple of young kids, I was starting to look like grandad rather than dad.

 

My advice to anyone who is suffering is just go for it, you have one chance at life so you may as well give it your best shot!

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Mrdott,

 

I'm glad you brought up this topic because hair loss can be very emotional for a lot of people. I know it was for me. In fact, when I started losing my hair I started using Rogaine almost immediately but then got cocky with the results and soon stopped. My hair loss started to get more severe and when it did I was panicking looking for solutions. Emotionally, I was quite anxious and did not go anywhere without a hat. In fact I equated myself to the Phantom of the Opera. When he wore his mask to conceal his damaged and scarred face, he was quite charming and confident but as soon as the mask came off he became very insecure. That is how I felt when I had lost my hair.

 

That said, we are our own worst enemies. How we feel about ourselves and the way we look is not typically what others feel about us when they see us. Sure, people might think we would look better with hair or a certain style but nobody's going to judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves.

 

That said, hair transplant surgery was one of the best decisions I ever made because it brought back a lot of my lost confidence. I now have what appears to be a full looking head of hair at least in the front with some mild thinning in the back. Would I like some more density in the back? Sure. But I am not insecure about it anymore especially for my age of 39 when most people my age have much more thinning than I do. In fact, I have quite a youthful looking hairline that looks very natural and dense.

 

I look forward to reading more feedback from people and how hair loss impacted them.

 

Bill

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For me it gives me a lot of anxiety and depression. The anxiety was bad enough during a recent shed that I was losing sleep and just feeling super wiped out after a few weeks, and ended up getting sick with an infection. I am convinced the infection happened because the anxiety wore down my immune system. I've had spells in the past from other big stressors where I went through long bouts of very high anxiety (weeks, sometimes months) and at the end of those spells I always get sick, usually some kind of bacterial infection or similar.

 

In general, the hair loss just makes me feel ugly. I hate the way it looks. I'm a musician and have had long black hair my whole life, and now my part is widening visibly and the front is sparse, and I can feel in general it's just less dense. I notice people checking it out whenever they're talking to me up close, I know how it glares when I'm in the sun or bright light. It just makes me feel insecure and ugly. I really don't like wearing hats, and based on my features and head shape/size, I don't think I would look good shaved, and really don't want to try it out.

 

If I were able to stop my loss now with meds, then I'd still have a decent head of hair left, and 1 medium sized HT would help fix the problem areas. But the only thing that really seems to work is propecia, and I can't seem to get off the fence on it. I'm 'this close' to trying it, but when I read some side effect stories, I just feel the risk is too big. Also, I feel like there may be long term effects we don't know yet if you mess with your hormones daily for years on end. But, I also know a lot of guys take it for years and are generally ok.

 

I don't know. I keep trying to get myself to just accept my hair loss and not make such a thing of it, but I can't help it, it makes me feel like shit when talking to a girl and I see her eyes constantly ricocheting up to my thinning hairline. And just the thought of being a bald guy just depresses the crap out of me. I really wish I didn't care, and could just be zen about it. But as of yet, it bothers me to the point of depression and obsession, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

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