Why I Don't Blame Women For Shunning Bald Men.

[corvettester]

This video says it all:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Corvettester

[OtherSyde]

Yep... I agree 110%. Guys don't like to admit it due to ego and fear of being called vain or man-pretty, but it's the truth; in our judgmental, appearance-savvy, post-MTV-generation society, good hair is about as important as dressing sharp and being charming (or at least not being completely socially retarded). Some guys can get by without it, but anyone is better off with it.

[Spanker]

Meh...I know a lot of hot women with bald men.

[ej]

give her the classic comb over .. job done !

 

ej

[mahhong]

Funny video, but I don't really buy it to be honest!

 

The biggest issue with bald/balding men is not really the fact they're bald, it's the fact that it's quite clear they've given up on their appearance. When men start thinning or go bald a lot of them tend to assume they're ugly and unattractive (an assumption this video rather cruelly perpetuates) and don't bother to groom themselves or make the most of their appearance. The net result is the guy looks like he either can't accept he's balding or has simply assumed it's not worth taking care of his appearance.

 

I think the simple truth is every man would like to keep his hair, even if it was only to have the option of having it. But you cannot tell me that men like Jason Statham, Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis would look "themselves" with a big mop of hair on their head. The bald look is part of what makes them physically attractive to women because they've embraced it.

 

Now, granted, not all men look their best or feel their best bald, but I think what women generally find the most unattractive quality about baldness is either a man's denial over it, or a man's refusal to continue striving to look his best because of it.

 

There are millions of bald men in this world who have wives, girlfriends and lovers; many of which the average man would class as generically 'beautiful'. If baldness was that deeply, universally unattractive, we'd have absolute legions of bald men who were single and completely unable to find anybody. It doesn't happen. There are of course lots of unhappily single bald men, but there are lots of unhappily single men with great heads of hair.

 

A lot of being attractive is down to how you feel about yourself and how you come across. It's a cliche but absolutely true. Look at Jason Statham. He's a man that, if he put on a stone of fat, grew what left of his hair out into a straggly mess and wore ill-fitting, bad clothes could very easily look horrendous. Instead he's just got on with it. And he's an out and out sex symbol. Now I know in his case being rich and famous helps, but I see dozens of guys down the gym with what's left of their hair shaved down to their scalp, and they have no trouble with women.

 

Nobody likes losing hair but those that choose to additionally become a complete victim to hairloss will really come across as undesirable and weak-willed. It happens to a huge amount of men, but many of them get on with their lives because they have a bit of confidence to do so. If all you can think of when you're speaking to a girl is your hairloss, then that's all you'll present outwardly.

 

This video is funny but I think it's a bit of a bullying tactic to be honest. The insinuation is that if you're bald or going bald, that's it, game over. That's never the case, but as long as the myth is around, we'll have people lining up for transplants that will never give them what they really want.

[corvettester]

Funny video, but I don't really buy it to be honest!

 

Nobody likes losing hair but those that choose to additionally become a complete victim to hairloss will really come across as undesirable and weak-willed. It happens to a huge amount of men, but many of them get on with their lives because they have a bit of confidence to do so. If all you can think of when you're speaking to a girl is your hairloss, then that's all you'll present outwardly.

 

This video is funny but I think it's a bit of a bullying tactic to be honest. The insinuation is that if you're bald or going bald, that's it, game over. That's never the case, but as long as the myth is around, we'll have people lining up for transplants that will never give them what they really want.

 

 

I appreciate your opinion and I think you make a good point. However, in the video, you'll see that the woman is obviously very confident and isn't obsessing over her hair loss at all… yet the reaction from the man is disgust. Confidence and charisma can only go so far. She may have been able to win him over as a friend with her personality, but never as a lover.

 

Lastly, I don't see this video as a bullying tactic at all. I view it more as social commentary. Among many other things, it addresses the hypocrisy of men setting double standards for women.

 

I often hear women bemoaning this fact of life. So many men want their women to be supermodels, yet these same men are unwilling to reciprocate by keeping themselves minimally groomed, kempt or in shape. I see it all the time here in NYC. Singles or groups of overweight, dirty, foul-smelling, foul-mouthed, poorly dressed men feel entitled to New York’s most beautiful, fashionable women... and trust me, NYC has the most beautiful women in the world!

 

Relationships, like any other life-venture, are about exchanging value for value. What each person values may differ from the next, thus finding that special someone with shared values is what is so challenging, yet rewarding in the end.

 

I’ve always approached women this way: What do I have to offer them? What do they have to offer me? Simply put, I want to be the dream man for my dream woman. My dream woman is beautiful, among other qualities; so at the very least, I have to look my best too.

 

 

 

Corvettester

Edited August 29, 2011 by corvettester
Spelling. Formatting.

[lorenzo]

If you are out of shape, bad dresser, bald, vulgar but are rich or famous you will not have a problem picking up women. If you are an average Joe and are bald the odds will be against you. Very few women find bald men attractive just like very few men find obese women attractive. As sad as it sounds this is reality. Of course there are many other factor to consider but in my opinion this is the norm. I have a few friends that dont look after themselves (out of shape) yet there tastes in women are very high. I always tell them how do you expect to find an attractive women when you dont take care of yourself. They all say the same thing they are looking for somebody that will appreicate them for them and not how they look. Yet they are only looking for an attractive women not caring how she is only how she looks. With baldness its quite simular they want women to look past there baldness yet they are usually not willing to compromisse what they are looking for.

Its a sad realtity but when you first meet someone there has to be some sort of attraction in order to click with them unfortunately for bald men most women dont find being bald attractive unless you are rich or famous.

[ziggy00]

I see what you're saying corvettester but I do believe the others above who have mentioned hot women being with bald men. Being bald is more common for men and therefore more accepted. Even the video is directed towards men, not women, which makes balding women seem like something especially abnormal. It's kind of a sad video actually.

[ziggy00]

That's not to say all women accept bald men. I just think in general, bald men are more accepted than bald women. like corvettester said, double standard.

[lorenzo]

just think in general, bald men are more accepted than bald women

 

It depends whether its for sex or a relationship. Although she is bald I wouldnt throw her out of bed...

[Dutch]

I agree with Lorenzo. Not the comment about throwing her out of bed but the previous message

Most women don't find bald men attractive. It's a fact. Who are we kidding! I feel I have to try a lot harder to get anywhere. Maybe I have a lame personality or look like a bull dog.

I even asked 5 girls at work & 4 of them said they like men with hair & find most bald men unattractive. 1 girl said she likes the 'shaved' hair look.

[mahhong]

I see what a lot of you guys are saying but ultimately I think you are placing way too much emphasis on the "balding" part of life. I honestly think that for most women it's a case of how the man deals with balding that plays the biggest impact.

 

I think the general rule that the most attractive people attract the most attractive people is true; but you're setting yourselves an impossible task if you go down that road. There will always be someone better looking that you. Always. There will be men with better bodies, better hair, more handsome faces, who are bigger and more masculine, who have a more commanding presence, who have a stronger voice or a nicer smile. The idea that if you have hair it puts you in a different league is a dangerous game to play because it's a downward spiral. There will always be someone that has what you have but much better. If you could have a full head of hair again, that's not going to solve the problem.

 

And, at the risk of sounding too cliche, beauty does come in many shapes and sizes. What you might consider to be "beautiful" I may not consider the same at all. It's never the case that bald=unattractive. But feeling unattractive is always likely to hinder you.

 

As another poster said, I think the video deceives because a woman having pretty bad MPB is not the same as a man having MPB. You would not normally expect a woman to have such pronounced balding and fewer women do. Balding is very prevalent in men, however. It is more common to see it; the sense of shock when the woman reveals her hair is not the same sense of shock you'd get from seeing a man with no hair. I'm not saying the point raised isn't interesting or without merit, but the direct comparison it's trying to draw is misleading, yet there are many men who'd watch that video and be insecure enough to believe it's strictly true.

 

I think a big part of the thing with being bald is accepting it, one way or the other. If you choose to use drugs and HTs to get a head of hair back, fine. If you choose to shave it down and be bald, fine. If you choose to abandon your hair and try to pretend what little scraggle left doesn't exist, it becomes blatantly obvious to most people and if it's the first thing you notice on yourself, it will be the first thing they notice.

 

I'm not naieve enough to believe balding has zero impact on how a man looks or comes across, but similarly I think it's dangerous to promote the idea that being bald is some kind of death sentence in the attraction stakes.

[hairthere]

"Most women don't find bald men attractive. It's a fact. Who are we kidding! I feel I have to try a lot harder to get anywhere. Maybe I have a lame personality or look like a bull dog."

 

That's kind of a blanket statement. For instance, I think if you surveyed women in the 40 and up demographic, baldness would not be as big a deal-breaker.

[Spanker]

I agree. The older a woman gets the less it becomes a deal. Think about it. 30 percent of women in their 30's are with men that are visibly losing hair. My wife is a looker, many (not all) of my exes are lookers, and I have never been with a woman that cared about baldness. I know that there are some (most in thier 20's), hell, my head looks like Terry Cruise (the dad on Everybody Hates Chris) and it actually disgusts me, but I have never had any issues.

 

 

I am 32, and most of my peers, female wise, that are single have dated bald men. I would say that taking care of yourself (at least clean, shaven or trimmed, and nice clothes) is probably 3 times more important than your hair. Again, my head is FU@KED UP FOR REAL, and I have better odds than someone with low self esteem.

 

 

Sure, I get depressed about it every once in a while, but I hope I never sound as sad as some of you all are coming off. ":( Girls don't like bald guy's" If you think a girl won't like you, she surely won't.

 

I can understand someone in their early 20's, but when you hit 30 or so, I really don't think women give a crap. If you have a steady job, are nice, clean, respectful, funny, and not a drug addict....there should not be anything from stopping you.

[scar5]

I really don't think women give a crap. If you have a steady job, are nice, clean, respectful, funny, and not a drug addict....there should not be anything from stopping you.

 

Hair, just as all good attributes is good because loosing hair acts as a disqualifier for our natural selective instincts. Balding men regularly succeed with hot women, but their options are limited, they need to work - they need to "build something" Good looks, which includes an absence of disqualifiers (i.e. short) gives you an instant reset in every new scenario.

 

Women glance and compute in a split second. Whether they "care", or "don't care" is immaterial. It's their reactions that count. If you are in the company of men with a head of hair you will be beaten everytime, because hair, just like height is a way a woman automatically qualifies you to her. She needs to know so that she can weigh up automatically and subconsciously what she would be willing to sacrifice to be with you. So if she has two seats to choose from on the bus, in a farction of a second to choose, she chooses "sit next to the hairy guy", unless she decides to "get the hairy guy's attention by sitting with the balding dude" one.

So no hair = loose. Hairy guy gets in, balding guy never gets a chance to show his 'great adjustment to being balding'

 

BUT...and here is where it gets interesting. If there is only one seat and she has to sit with both guys, then the balding dude has a chance to show his, 'Look how I don't care about losing my hair bravado' at the expense of the hairy guy, who can fall on his own sword. Because if he behaves like a douche, he instantly become ugly, and now look - step right up the balding prince) But if the hairy guy holds his nerve, and confidence being the thing that it is, percentage wise, he ought to, he gets on a roll, the balding guy will be in a dilemna quickly. Play the nice wing man and pump up his tires, or act aloof and think about calling Hasson and Wong.

[Cant decide]

I don’t think you can equate a full head of hair with necessarily looking better than a guy who is losing it. I have seen plenty of guys with a full head of hair who either did not style it right or they simply did not have nice hair and that along with the rest of their looks made them look much worse than a guy who may be losing hair but maintains a better overall hairstyle and simply is better looking. To be honest, I would rather be losing my hair and keep a good modern hairstyle rather than have a full head and keep an outdated/unflattering style. It’s funny how many guys with full heads of hair are walking around with bad hair styles and I think to myself, give me his hair and I could work wonders on myself and he is simply wasting what he has. Of course, both a nice hair style and full head would be best

[Bill - Seemiller]

Thanks for posting this video and for starting such an interesting discussion.

 

While hair loss does ultimately effect women, it is much more common and obvious in men. I also think that overall, women are less superficial than men when it comes to looks. I've also talked to some women (and yes, they're attractive) who think bald is truly beautiful.

 

Most women aren't just out looking for sex whereas a number of men are. So sex alone aside, personally, I think women look at a much broader picture than men do when it comes to finding someone to start a relationship with.

 

Men are very visual and looks are the primary intrigue, at least in the beginning. Similarly, most men would probably admit that they'd be willing to settle for a number of what they'd call "character flaws", at least for awhile anyway, as long as his woman is physically attractive and does it for him sexually. A woman on the other hand is much more interested in the whole package. Sure, looks are important, but from the very beginning, women are looking at the whole package which includes a man's looks, personality (kindness, sensitivity, leadership, motivation), sense of humor, job, education, and natural charisma.

 

So while each individual is unique, I think most women won't shun a guy just because he's bald (or balding) if he has other qualities that she's looking for. More men however, would probably shun a women who is bald because looks are of utmost importance for men, at least in drawing them to a potential mate.

 

This of course, is just my opinion.

 

Bill

[EpilepticSceptic]

Ha Ha ! Funny video.

 

IMO the easiest solution for the bald man who "accepts his hairloss" is to go after obese women who are otherwise pretty. It's the perfect match because both have something that society considers a stigma.

 

I have indeed had some super attractive girlfriends over the years (including the current one), but they often come with ALOT of other problems. They know they have this power over you because of their good looks which can cause alot of pain and frustration. Yes, they will look past your balding but only because they have some ulterior motive besides just accepting you for who you are. That's why I just laugh when i see guys on here saying that they see pretty women with bald guys all the time; yeah, but you have NO IDEA what that bald guy has to endure to be with that woman. His life might be a complete hell !!! My happiest relationships by far have been with fat women who were otherwise very pretty under clothes, because the roles were reversed and they were really eager to please.

 

I just wish there was some type of psychotropic pill that you could take and -- BAM, suddenly very obese women with layers of cellulite suddenly get you very horny. That would be the easiest solution of all and you could then truly be happy and not even bother with the stress of shaving your head every day to hide the monk fringe.

 

The problem I have is that when the fat woman's clothes come off my willie goes instantly limp. It really sucks that we were so conditioned and trained as children to find these super model looking skinny mutants as so attractive !!! It's a hellish trap that our society set very well for us.

Edited April 7, 2011 by EpilepticSceptic

[Spanker]

Well, most women tell me (when the subject comes up) tell me they find me attractive. I am not noticabley bald, but receeding.

 

Aside from that, I like to think that it is my personality and charisma that gets females to like me. Being funny and confident goes a very long way.

 

In the long run, if we live long enough, we all get unattractive. So it is best to find someone that you can talk to and laugh with.

 

That said, I also think that looks are less important to women than a mans job, money,and lifestyle. I think a lot of women look for stability..financially and socially in marraige.

 

(The the stupid lady goes out and has an fair 7 or 8 years because she has a boring life and her husband pay her any attention.)

 

I say that because while men are shallow in the looks department. Women will pick a less than perfect mate for her because of a guy having good potential as a provider for her future children.

 

Again, the is just my opinion and obviously does not reflect all cases.

[Drew1221]

Hi all im new here and just thought id put some light on the subject. I think Spanker is generally right I and I can attest to this. I started dating a beautiful women when I was 17, starting going bald at 18 and was very noticeable at age 20. She never brought up the subject, and always remained attracted to me. Ultimately the balding led to my downfall in self-esteem, and low self-esteem is a huge turn off to women. I did not want to go out in public with her because she was a looker, and people would then look at me and see I was bald, even though it was in my head and I was just insecure. Although I would feel special that a hot women is with me, in the end I felt inferior to other men with hair when I was with her.

 

I saw a young attractive women with a young bald guy who looked like Mr Clean at Wal-mart just the other day...

 

I think the general public makes the assumption that women love men with great hair, but men with great hair are just more confident and present this happy invisible aura that alot of bald/balding men don't.

 

I think it's safe to say this about skinny/fat guys, and that the buff jocks get all the hotties because there more confident. But next time you guys are out in public look around and you'll be surprised at what confidence and character can get you. :cool:

[hdude46]

Hi all im new here and just thought id put some light on the subject. I think Spanker is generally right I and I can attest to this. I started dating a beautiful women when I was 17, starting going bald at 18 and was very noticeable at age 20. She never brought up the subject, and always remained attracted to me. Ultimately the balding led to my downfall in self-esteem, and low self-esteem is a huge turn off to women. I did not want to go out in public with her because she was a looker, and people would then look at me and see I was bald, even though it was in my head and I was just insecure. Although I would feel special that a hot women is with me, in the end I felt inferior to other men with hair when I was with her.

 

I saw a young attractive women with a young bald guy who looked like Mr Clean at Wal-mart just the other day...

 

I think the general public makes the assumption that women love men with great hair, but men with great hair are just more confident and present this happy invisible aura that alot of bald/balding men don't.

 

I think it's safe to say this about skinny/fat guys, and that the buff jocks get all the hotties because there more confident. But next time you guys are out in public look around and you'll be surprised at what confidence and character can get you. :cool:

 

 

Well said. I have several friends who are starting to thin or have already lost a significant amount of hair and all have girlfriends or are dating girls who don't care about their hair loss. Drawing on my own experiences I have always seemed to do fairly well with the opposite sex and have been in several relationships with women who also don't care about my hair loss. Women in general care a lot less about looks then men do and more about how you make them feel. Projecting confidence will score you some major points in this area. Hair loss may matter more to women when you are younger but as you get older it will matter less and less. Take care of the things in your life you can control to make yourself the most attractive potential mate you can be. If you can make her laugh and have a little self confidence that's more than half the battle right there. Just my two cents...

[lounyc]

This video says it all:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Corvettester

 

This was great but there will be alot of females that I will still yearn for with a shaved head (e.g. Demi Moore in GI Jane) lol

[Trichologist]

It's the knock on effects of being bald that cause the main problems I think, more than actually being bald. Self esteem is a crucial element when talking to members of the opposite sex.

[aim4hair]

good topic, as many said, i think having a head full of hair is a plus of course, but if you bald and embrace it and work hard on other features like your body, dress, and personality it would get you around with hot women as well.... plus, hair is not everything, i mean you have other features on your face that counts as well.. you can find many not attractive men who have full head of hear and on the other hand you can find many bald men who have nice features that look really good.. look at some of the balding actors or those who shave, some of them look really good even though they got no hair and others are not attractive at all even with their amazing hair.. take Edward Norton for example, i think he looks way better with shaved head (american history x) than he looks with hair.

at the end of the day, if you bad looking you bad looking regardless if you have a hair or not, and vice versa.

[kathie47]

Seriously, if you want a vain woman who only cares about your looks, you'll get a vain woman who only cares about your looks. If you want a real woman who cares about personality and confidence, then it shouldn't matter what you have on your head, just what you are inside.

 

Edward Norton is hot in American History X because he plays an incredibly driven guy who knows what he wants and goes out and gets it. If I remember correctly, he doesn't waste time in that movie hoping people don't notice his lack of hair