Why I Don't Blame Women For Shunning Bald Men.

[SugarHighs]

For what it's worth, during the 6 months leading up to my FUE, I had more short-term relationships with more attractive women than I'd had in any one-year period prior to that in my life.

 

While I was a solid NW3, I kept my hair very short and forward, which gave me the appearance of a NW2, but I was still very obviously losing hair in the front, and I had a curved hairline.

 

I maintained a good, strong tan during this time, and I was very fit and quite muscular with a flat belly. No steroids or ridiculousness, such as living at the gym, but I made certain to workout a minimum of 3 days per week with heavy weights and to watch my diet (and fashion).

 

Women essentially gawked at me everywhere I went.

 

Fast forward to about 5 months after my FUE (before my unfortunate shedding began). My hair looked significantly better and fuller, but I had gotten pale from avoiding the sun and tanning due to concerns about hurting the hair, and I had also lost a lot of my fitness and shape due to improper diet and poor exercise. I can say unequivocally that even though I had the appearance of a full head of hair, that women were not nearly as attracted to me. And it was not even a close race.

 

I'm not suggesting this would be effective for everyone, but it was for me.

 

If you take anything from my story, it should be that even with less than optimal hair, a man can still look better than 95% of other men, with proper nutrition, workout, fashion and attitude. It does take effort - more effort than an effortlessly attractive man with perfect hair might need - but the proper motivation will get you there.

 

In my opinion, that's what most men having trouble with women lack - not effective hair, but effective motivation.

Edited January 12, 2013 by SugarHighs

[chrisdav]

I am not sure what I would do if I had extensive balding.

 

Would consider trying a hair piece, but I would definitely strengthen in other areas.

[Theodpliske8711]

Being bald alone is also not the only issue, it tends to compound and overwhelm other feelings of inferiority. I'm balding but I am 6'5 with a strong muscular build. The result is that I do manage to attract women. Were I going Costanza, that would be another story. Balding alone is not the only factor. Truthfully though, as far as I can remember, I have never felt "comfortable" with my looks in general. Hairloss tends to compound those anxieties.

 

The reason I don't blame women for hating on balding guys is that most men who are balding aren't thinking "Oh no! I'll be alone forever!" they're thinking "Oh no! I wont be able to tap that hot ass girl!"

Edited April 17, 2013 by Theodpliske8711

[OtherSyde]

OK, attitude can trump looks, if it's just sheer, overbearing intensity or charisma; Like Moby's character in the 2009 vampire/rock parody movie "Suck" - the rude, arrogant, crazed thrash-rocker who called himself "Beef":

 

 

 

And yes, Edward Norton was badass in American History X, aside from that fact that A) He was not balding, he shaved his head - there's a difference, and B) he was a psychotic neo-nazi white supremacist.

 

Fitness - I mean extreme, above-normal, eye-popping fitness that really makes people go WOW - is another option aside from having an extroverted, aggressive personality. Vin Diesel? Jason Statham? Edward Norton in American History X..?

 

But you know another very important option for balding guys?

 

Facial structure. Badass manly jaw-line. Sharp, aggressive cheek bones. Cleft chin. Prince Charming without the hair is still above 75% of other guys. Think Billy Zane in the 80's comedy/horror flick Demon Knight (love this gem of a movie). Not only was he still good-looking without hair, but his sarcastic, smart-assy, smirking villain personality was great too:

 

 

 

And for women to look hot without hair, they also need good facial structure, like this chick who played alongside Billy Zane in Demon Knight and these other random bald chicks (the last one being virtual - I think from the game Mass Effect...

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah. Basically to get by without the luxury of hair, you need to be at least one of these things:

-Ripped and buff

-Very charismatic/extroverted

-Just straight beautiful in the face

[JohnSheikh]

hair may play a role , but it is not the defining factor...many beautiful women are with completely bald men.

[OtherSyde]

Hair definitely plays a role, but is also generally not a deal-breaker unless the particular girl just has some strong aversion to baldness, or unless your facial features (jaw line, cheek bones, nose, chin, brow, eyes, etc.) aren't that great and can't compensate for lack of hair. I think that's why it hurts the majority of us "average-looking" guys so much - we look "average" or "acceptable" with hair, but without it we get bumped down a rung or two even further which really hurts our chances.

[scar5]

Hair definitely plays a role, but is also generally not a deal-breaker unless the particular girl just has some strong aversion to baldness,.

 

I disagree. I think is essential to recognize the truth

it IS a deal breaker, but there ARE exceptions.

 

Girls know you are vulnerable too. It is a mark for disqualifying you.

Same as short. Being short is a disqualifier.

 

That is why it is devastating to know you are going bald. You know you are vulnerable in a competitive world. You wear a cool hat, girls look and when you take it off, they glance and in a nano second they say to themselves, Phew! or Oh s**t!

 

You can distort the reality of it by being "awesome"...high status, funny, something, something special, different, unique so you are taken out of the line and stand apart. It is a false story, but bluff might be the way to get you moving towards a new reality to get the status..and so on..

 

I don't doubt SUGAR HIGH (Great name btw)'s story above, where he recounts his success prior to HT and its aftermath, but I have this to say,

 

1) he was being awesome to himself before the HT = positive high

2) he was optimistic prior to the HT = positive high

3) the post-op was underwhelming and sobering = downer, reality bites

 

BUT the real story is in my opinion. according to my experience

you can get yourself into an awesome charged up state and it can run for up to 6 months, but it wont last, and you will feel yourself struggling sooner or later, to buy the latest fashions, etc., somewhere along the line you will trip. At least that's what I have found. I could be with girls I never dreamed of for a while in these patches, but I can't sustain it.

 

I like to read 'feel-good' stories about just being yourself etc., and I think there is a danger guys get stuck at the halfway mark - half trying to be themselves, half trying to bluff. This is where I end up after a positive high run. That creates a vulnerability too. I think the shaved head, although it looks absolutely awful on a lotta guys, specially white and asian guys, has one Ace card in its pack...that says 'I'm not a half-and-half guy' which funnily enough, he probably is, 'cause his hair has receded halfway over his scalp!

Edited December 18, 2013 by scar5

[Spanker]

I must be getting old or been married too long. I don't worry about girls and really think I could be disfigured and still find an acceptable mate. With my cvg plus scar if I suddenly hit nw6 or 7 I would be, but I don't think I would be alone or have to settle. I know tons of women that would love to have a nice guy who is thoughtful and works and cares for them. I mean it would such, don't get me wrong, but it's not as bleak as it seems. I got an ht for me and no one else. My wife was supportive but I knew didn't really want me to do it.

[suarez]

It's all well and good, dressing nice but as soon as you put them new threads on and check yourself out in the mirror, you will feel low inside. A receding hairline will take the look off any outfit,hair frames the face!

[Spanker]

I have a friend that is 6 foot 5 inches tall, lean muscular body, with significant facial and body scarring from burns. No problems with the ladies at all. (he does have most of his hair though). He is also an A type personality, but funny and pretty nice.

 

I think a nice body (which I don't have, very average build) does go a long way. If I do loose a lot of hair getting in shape is a good fall back plan, which I need to start doing now.

 

But overall, at least once you get into your mid-30's and 40's, I feel like men have an advantage in the looks department as far as the expectations put on us versus the expectations that we put on women.

 

Then, at the same time, at that age women are more picky about the man's income I feel. We all have expectations I guess.

[ChickenMan23]

The problem with that video is that no man would run away from that. That woman was hot. Hair or no hair. Not be crass but most men would hit that in a second and probably be thankful that a woman as beautiful as that had a flaw which would give them confidence in trying to pick her up.

 

I think that video just plays on the fears of bald men and anyone else that is sensitive about their looks. The message is if you do not look perfect then no one will be interested in you. The reality is we tend to be a lot harder on ourselves about our looks then others. Men obsess about their hair because they think every woman in the room is looking at their scalp and laughing just like woman get boob jobs because they think no man will date them if they are only an A cup. The reality as humans we are attracted to a lot more than just hair or breasts. Its the whole physical make up of the person not just one part.

[scar5]

I know tons of women that would love to have a nice guy who is thoughtful and works and cares for them. .

 

..but that is the same as saying, "I'd love a woman who is caring, compassionate, doesn't rant or become hysterical etc., "

 

But!!!!!

 

I won't look at women who are not attractive at the get-go...

How do I know if they are good or bad?? My instincts dictate the rules and I WILL look at the attractive girl first, every time, unless I want to a tact her attention by talking to the less attractive one. I have no choice because it is instinct.

 

So we are talking about involuntary reactions that determine massive things. Kinda like chaos theory. A little butterfly flaps its wings, and a tornado starts somewhere else in some other time.

 

But I do thoroughly agree about the age thing too. The money thing also triggers a response, and if the woman gets older, she knows she can't pick and choose, and the guy who knows he can't compensates with status, wealth, and we have potential for a courtship.

[Mathematica]

Hair and money................women love you

Money only.......................women love you

Hair only.......................... a few young women will like you

no hair and no money......happiness (ie no woman!)

[OtherSyde]

Hair and money................women love you

Money only.......................women love you

Hair only.......................... a few young women will like you

no hair and no money......happiness (ie no woman!)

 

no hair and no money......Eternal Masturbation!

 

Well now I have hair and a decent career, so I guess I'll never be happy in life. You would think I'd at least masturbate less though, and you'd be wrong

[Al - Moderator]

Once you lose your hair it's sort of impossible to have both hair and money. You can either have money, but no hair. Or you spend all your money to have hair and end up with hair, but no money.

[hsrp10]

no hair and no money......happiness (ie no woman!)

 

that's hilarious!

they will end up making you lose both anyway....

[cimbom]

Spare a thought for us women with hair loss

[OtherSyde]

Spare a thought for us women with hair loss

 

Oy, I dare say it's even worse for women - at least men have the expected male pattern baldness excuse which is pretty normal, not to mention our double-standard-loving beauty-obsessed society tends to value men for financial success, charisma, and ideas as well as attractiveness and we can fall back on that; women in society, unfortunately, tend to be valued for beauty and little else, all too often - and it's not helped by Victoria's Secret and their advertising media ilk... Just a craptacular situation, really.

[suarez]

There is this KFC tv add/commercial on in Ireland where two guys are sitting opposite each other and the fella on the left is upset with the fella on the right, the one on the left is a diffuse Norwood 4/5 and he is saying " dude you're dating my ex girlfriend, that's not cool" or something along them lines.

 

The other guy who's dating his ex has fantastic thick hair ha,the ad is basically saying left dude is a worthless twat , who's Gf runs off with someone with who's better looking with better hair. It just proves that thinning hair is a sign of being less desirable.

[OtherSyde]

..but that is the same as saying, "I'd love a woman who is caring, compassionate, doesn't rant or become hysterical etc., "

 

But!!!!!

 

I won't look at women who are not attractive at the get-go...

How do I know if they are good or bad?? My instincts dictate the rules and I WILL look at the attractive girl first, every time, unless I want to a tact her attention by talking to the less attractive one. I have no choice because it is instinct.

 

So we are talking about involuntary reactions that determine massive things. Kinda like chaos theory. A little butterfly flaps its wings, and a tornado starts somewhere else in some other time.

 

But I do thoroughly agree about the age thing too. The money thing also triggers a response, and if the woman gets older, she knows she can't pick and choose, and the guy who knows he can't compensates with status, wealth, and we have potential for a courtship.

 

It is, of course, possible to use our human intellect to override our base instincts, but it's rare and the overwhelming majority of people simply either don't bother to or lack the mental capacity to. Find and read the book "Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined." It's on Amazon, although I got the PDF file free from my online college and still have it. It starts near the beginning of history in Egyptian times and works forward through dozens of cases, most of them recent, citing many scientific studies along the way, and the results are always the same, because it's biology at work.

 

The human eye and brain automatically perceive flaws in facial symmetry, balance, golden ratio, skin quality, length of limbs to body ratio, all kinds of stuff. Attractive people simply get picked and promoted way more often - in fact, on average, each inch over six feet in height nets an extra thousand dollars a year in salary for a man. As recorded by many, many scientific studies over the last couple of decades, people automatically think attractive people are more honest, caring, and trustworthy, and think the opposite of less conventionally attractive people. It just pays to be pretty, no two ways about it. It's a huge advantage, and tends to be important in life - especially to anyone who is just a "regular Joe/Jane" who doesn't have millions of dollars, fame, a mansion, incredible charisma, amazing intellect, etc. to compensate with. Social Darwinism is alive and well, brooding in the human subconscious, inexorably bound to all of our everyday decisions and relationships. Crappy, but true.