Senior Member newbie33 Posted October 4, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 4, 2015 (edited) Thought I'd summarise the boards. Just a bit of fun! RanjitMadeUp: Hey guys, have you heard of Doctor Unpronouncable in Ulaanbaatar? I saw his website yesterday and as I sit in his operating chair waiting for the sedatives to kick-in, I thought I’d ask about other people’s experienceeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… DrNewClinic: Hi, I’m just an Average Joe and definitely not Dr New Clinic. I wanted to share my experience of my fantastic surgery with Dr New Clinic, where I received 50,000 grafts and a handjob for just 5-Euros all-in… TheExpert: I may not have any ‘formal’ medical qualifications as such, but what appears to you, the layman, as some normal scabbing is quite obviously the start of Epidermodysplasia verruciformis, or ‘Tree Man Syndrome’. You must have a history of this in your family? PROFUEGUY: Isn’t it OBVIOUS that Dr Feller is a CIA-stooge, plotting to keep the AMERICAN FUT industry dominant against the PLUCKY and almost INDEFENSIBLE FUE surgeons in egalitarian, communist China???????? YngDrReasonable: Although in my head I’ve just spent five minutes repeating four-letter words interspersed with synonyms for ‘idiot’ while I read your post, I’m going to be totally and utterly reasonable to the point of irritation. So: Hey, that’s a really interesting post with some fascinating ideas! Although, maybe another way to look at it… Catastrophise13: Guys, yesterday I had what seemed like a perfectly good surgery, but I’ve thought about it more and now it seems I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. My hair will obviously fall out. My wife will leave me. My kids won’t speak to me. And my dog will almost certainly be dead before I finish writing this post… DrNewClinic: Book my clinic today – I mean the clinic – and we give you free small can of paint to disguise you ugly bald head, worth at least $0.39. Gullible18: I came across this new product made of fish milt, old rope and gnat’s piss. It’s not FDA-approved and costs ?4,000 a month. Have any of you had experience with this product called Snake Oil? DrComplico: Doctor Complico charges 2.389 Euro for the first 39 grafts, then it’s a compounded 5% discount on all further multiplies of 39 grafts up to 2,000 grafts. Thereafter it’s a flat rate of 1.456 Euros per graft multiplied by Pi and divided by the number you first thought of. Not including taxes. MrBadAdvice: You are 18 and a Norwood 4, but definitely won’t progress any further. You should get 5000 FUE grafts in your hairline, then proceed with body hair grafts to fill in the frontal third. After that, you can get all the grafts that you want from your bumhole. NOT THAT YOU’RE LIKELY TO NEED IT! Finlabia: Greetings from Finland! I just wanted to warn about my experience with Finasteride. I took one 0.5mg tablet and overnight it gave me a sex change. We really should be told about this. Although on the plus side, I now have lustrous hair and a great set of double Ds. CannyBloke: Although I seem quite reasonable I’m really telling you that you can’t say or think what you said because it doesn’t chime with my opinions and values. This seems even more reasonable to me because the personalisation of the internet has led me to believe my views need never be challenged and I should never be offended, even in the mildest sense, though I can be offended on behalf of others, even if I don’t know they are offended themselves. Tuck me in now, please, Mommy. Houdini29: Fancying myself as a young Bruce Chatwin, I thought I’d earnestly share my experiences with Dr Botchit, including the money-exchange, taxi ride, a flight-movie review and a detailed overview of the methodology I used to count the coco-pops I had at breakfast. At about the three-month mark you’ll never see me again, leading you to wonder if I had a great experience, a terrible experience, or got a job on C-SPAN. TRUEFUE: Look. If any proof were needed at all. I found this picture of a guy in Paris who had a terrible FUT result and scar… Edited October 7, 2015 by newbie33 It's all here: http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/eve/181125-ive-read-entire-forum-so-you-dont-have.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Tav1 Posted October 4, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 4, 2015 (edited) Classic. The whole forum? Hell, that pretty much summarizes the new posts since yesterday. But you sort of left out: Mr. Idio-Neurotic: "Hi guys, I just had a 2,000 graft FUE from Dr. Whomever. On the way home, I needed something to put my chewing gum in, so I used the post-op instructions by accident and threw them in the trash. Now I'm really worried. Instead of calling the clinic, I thought I'd post here. Two hours after I got home, I looked at my grafts. Well, OK, not really looked, more liked glanced, but still, I think the grafts saw me when I glanced at them (which angered them) and now I'm afraid they're all gonna pop out and run away. Has anyone experienced this? Do the grafts calm down, or do they really stay pissed off?" "Also, I seem to recall on the first evening I can pour a cup of water with a few drops of shampoo over my head. What's "a few drops?" Is it more than two, but less than four? Do you think 3.15 drops is sufficient? Or should I use 3.1567? And when they say "pour," does that mean all at once? What is the ideal flow ratio of the water from the cup? And when they say to use water, what kind? Tap water, bottled water? What kind of bottled water? Spring fed or from a glacier? Polish or Italian?" "Lastly, I know exercise post-op is frowned upon, but I was getting really nervous about my grafts getting angry at me for glancing at them, so to burn off steam, I put on three wool caps and did hand-stands for two hours. Do you think this will impact my results? Advice welcome!" Edited October 4, 2015 by Tav1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Spanker Posted October 4, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 4, 2015 Funny read I am an online representative for Dr. Raymond Konior who is an elite member of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians. View Dr. Konior's Website View Spanker's Website I am not a medical professional and my opinions should not be taken as medical advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member esrec Posted October 4, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 4, 2015 The place we come for answers becomes a place of panic. Thanks for the levity. Hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member voxman Posted October 4, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 4, 2015 You are so....so....spot on. You missed : YOUNG AND I'LL DO IT ANYWAY I'm 20 and probably a heavy NW1.5 but I want my hairline lowered like Darling Caveman Footballer and maybe Hollywood Famous Actor - like about 3 cm from my eyebrows. I'm really looking for advice and I promise I'll pretend to listen but I have already booked my chair with Dr. Fastbucks in Siam. I'll be back to complain later. I'm serious. Just look at my face. My Hair Regimen: Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member newbie33 Posted October 4, 2015 Author Senior Member Share Posted October 4, 2015 Haha. Thanks guys. Yes, it's not an exhaustive list. Please feel free to add more, chaps... I also forgot: MrStupidlyVain Hey guys, I know you really shouldn't after a HT, but I've been thinking: If I'm really careful, is it OK to go out in 50-degree sunshine / inject massive amounts of testosterone because I want my muscles even more disproprionately sized to my balls / wear a hat with the insides made of razor blades... It's all here: http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/eve/181125-ive-read-entire-forum-so-you-dont-have.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member TakingThePlunge Posted October 5, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 5, 2015 Brilliant newbie33! Thank you, I needed that laugh! David - Former Forum Co-Moderator and Editorial Assistant I am not a medical professional. All opinions are my own and my advice should not constitute as medical advice. View my Hair Loss Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member newbie33 Posted October 5, 2015 Author Senior Member Share Posted October 5, 2015 Pleasure, David. Your HT result is really starting to come through too. Really pleased for you. It's all here: http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/eve/181125-ive-read-entire-forum-so-you-dont-have.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member hairthere Posted October 5, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 5, 2015 This should be mandatory reading for all forum members....very funny (and scarily accurate) stuff newbie! I am the owner/operator of AHEAD INK a Scalp Micropigmentation Company in Fort Lee, New Jersey. www.aheadink.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete-from-Farjo Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Now that was funny:D I am an online representative for Farjo Hair Institute Dr. Bessam Farjo is an esteemed member of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians I am not a medical professional and my words should not be taken as medical advice. All opinions shared are my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member LondonHT Posted October 5, 2015 Regular Member Share Posted October 5, 2015 Pmsl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member sl Posted October 5, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 5, 2015 spot on.. I represent Dr. Bisanga. Dr. Christian Bisanga is recommended on the Hair Transplant Network Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Blake Bloxham Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Greatest thread of all time! I've never laughed so hard reading something on the forums. Bravo, newbie!!! I officially nominate this for a "sticky." Do I have a second? Dr. Blake Bloxham is recommended by the Hair Transplant Network. Hair restoration physician - Feller and Bloxham Hair Transplantation Previously "Future_HT_Doc" or "Blake_Bloxham" - forum co-moderator and editorial assistant for the Hair Transplant Network, Hair Restoration Network, Hair Loss Q&A blog, and Hair Loss Learning Center. Click here to read my previous answers to hair loss and hair restoration questions, editorials, commentaries, and educational articles. Now practicing hair transplant surgery with Coalition hair restoration physician Dr Alan Feller at our New York practice: Feller and Bloxham Hair Transplantation. Please note: my advice does not constitute as medical advice. All medical questions and concerns should be addressed by a personal physician. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member home1212 Posted October 6, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 6, 2015 there should be an award for that! hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member newbie33 Posted October 6, 2015 Author Senior Member Share Posted October 6, 2015 Greatest thread of all time! I've never laughed so hard reading something on the forums. Bravo, newbie!!! I officially nominate this for a "sticky." Do I have a second? I don't know what a 'sticky' is, but I want one! Especially if I can eat it. It's all here: http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/eve/181125-ive-read-entire-forum-so-you-dont-have.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member LondonHTseeker Posted October 6, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) Dr StridentViews FUE is a useful ADJUNCT that only METICULOUS GENIUSES like me use AFTER going fully STRIPPED OUT. FUE is BRUTAL. Strip is the GOLD STANDARD. I'm the master. You're my slave, I mean customer. I know best and I NEVER lie. FACT. P.S. Did I tell you how very very intelligent I am? I invent stuff too!!! Edited October 6, 2015 by LondonHTseeker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member newbie33 Posted October 6, 2015 Author Senior Member Share Posted October 6, 2015 Dr StridentViews FUE is a useful ADJUNCT that only METICULOUS GENIUSES like me use AFTER going fully STRIPPED OUT. FUE is BRUTAL. Strip is the GOLD STANDARD. I'm the master. You're my slave, I mean customer. I know best and I NEVER lie. FACT. P.S. Did I tell you how very very intelligent I am? I invent stuff too!!! It really must have been quite something to see when you had the consultation with him a few days ago. It's all here: http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/eve/181125-ive-read-entire-forum-so-you-dont-have.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Petchski Posted October 6, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 6, 2015 You have a second. (sticky means it stays at the top of the forum category) mrNoKnowledge - I had a HT two weeks ago and i'm still bald, not only that but the grafts that were put in have fallen out! I think i've been had! HT's are crap -------------------------------------- My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Feller Dr Feller Jan '09 2000 grafts Dr Lorenzo Dec '15 2222 grafts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member NoTakeBacks Posted October 7, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 7, 2015 3rd! Love it. Hell this made me laugh more than some of those click-baity "comedy" sites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Stig Posted October 7, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 7, 2015 Dr StridentViews FUE is a useful ADJUNCT that only METICULOUS GENIUSES like me use AFTER going fully STRIPPED OUT. FUE is BRUTAL. Strip is the GOLD STANDARD. I'm the master. You're my slave, I mean customer. I know best and I NEVER lie. FACT. P.S. Did I tell you how very very intelligent I am? I invent stuff too!!! Now London, would you have posted this before your consult with Dr Feller this past weekend? I highly doubt it, hence you were totally kissing his backside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Stig Posted October 7, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 7, 2015 Dr StridentViews FUE is a useful ADJUNCT that only METICULOUS GENIUSES like me use AFTER going fully STRIPPED OUT. FUE is BRUTAL. Strip is the GOLD STANDARD. I'm the master. You're my slave, I mean customer. I know best and I NEVER lie. FACT. P.S. Did I tell you how very very intelligent I am? I invent stuff too!!! It is funny though ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member newbie33 Posted October 7, 2015 Author Senior Member Share Posted October 7, 2015 3rd! Love it. Hell this made me laugh more than some of those click-baity "comedy" sites. I'm going to grab that as a strap line for my signature: "Better than a shitty click-bait site." It's all here: http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/eve/181125-ive-read-entire-forum-so-you-dont-have.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Sethticles Posted October 7, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 7, 2015 @ newbie - hehehehehe - insert golf clap here June 2013 - 3000 FUE Dr Bhatti Oct 2013 - 1000 FUE Dr Bhatti Oct 2015 - 785 FUE Dr Bhatti Dr. Bhatti's Recommendation Profile on the Hair Transplant Network My story and photos can be seen here http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/Sethticles/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member delancey Posted October 7, 2015 Senior Member Share Posted October 7, 2015 Do you recommend "BUTCHER ME RIGHT NOW" clinic??? They are running a promotion on Groupon for 95% off! Should I do it? They are using a technique referred to as "plugs." Has anyone heard of it? It seems like a great deal. I am not a medical professional and my words should not be taken as medical advice. All opinions and views shared are my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member newbie33 Posted October 7, 2015 Author Senior Member Share Posted October 7, 2015 (edited) UnRequitedLove: I had my surgery with Dr Love yesterday and while I can have no idea of the result, I wanted to say he's clearly the best, most caring, nicest doctor in the entire universe. I found out he does some HTs for free on burns patients and his kind, azure-blue, Italian-lake-beautiful eyes also just screamed that he probably supports an entire deprived village in Mozambique. While he was doing my surgery he was giving blood from his manicured, lean, elegant hands - medical researchers believing his rare phenotype holds the cure for cancer - although he did look at me funny when I suggested we could go to Graeco-Roman wrestling classes together. Edited October 16, 2015 by newbie33 It's all here: http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/eve/181125-ive-read-entire-forum-so-you-dont-have.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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