Why is losing your hair so funny to people?

[TroyPolamalu79]

Hairloss is obviously a negative human condition but it is looked upon as something that is "funny." For example, if someone had a skin disease no one would point it out and feel like they should get a cookie because they noticed it first. I really do understand why it is so acceptable to ridicule bald guys. Whenever I hear someone mock a bald guy I want to put a voodoo curse on them so that they start going bald.

[Sean]

I hear ya, some folks find it funny and ridicule people for it. I just don't get it either.

[ziggy00]

Yeah it's definitely not funny for people experiencing it!

[crowningglory]

It's funny to them because they are not the one experiencing it. Maybe if they experience what we're experiencing they'll laugh less and worry more.

[Cant decide]

I must say, it is strange that many people think its ok to point it out as if they are poiting out a new haircut. I dont get why people do not see it as rude and something you would just not do. I mean, imagine if somone says to a fat girl, "Oh, I see your getting fat" in front of a group of people. That person would be seen as rude by the entire crowd. But, for some reason, its ok to do the same thing to a balding guy. I seriously do not get it. My brother did that to me a few months ago and embarassed be in front of 10+ people. When I later approached him about it, he was stunned at my reaction. He could not fathem why it would bother me and why I thought it was rude. He said, "whats the big deal, I made fun of so and so about their sweater and he did not care". How in the world do you compare the two? It just goes to show how clueless non balding people are to the whole thing.

 

My assistent looked at a pic of me from a few years ago and said, wow, you had allot of hair. When was that pic taken? Again, rude in my opinion. Fortunaltely and thanks to Dr. Rahal, I am on the road to significant improvement and hopfully will not need to listed to as many of these comments in the future.

[baldingbro]

In our society balding is not considered as a very serious health problem, and that is true IMO. It is just like there are so many jokes on fat people, lean people and ugly people, there are also jokes on bald people. Just think about unfortunate people having sever handicap problems. I dont see any body ridiculing them. Just accept it you cannot change the society. Also be happy that you are not one of them who have much sever problems.

[Uk_lad]

I think people use it as a veiled dig at you, because they know its accepted and they know if you react your bring more attention to it, something you dont want to do, so normally you have two options, laugh it off or keep quiet and change the subject. An example; i was in the pub and a fat girl, started mentioning a friend of mines thin hair, saying you are losing etc; as it is generally considered in society that losing your hair makes you less appealing i cant see how this isn't a direct dig, infront of many of our friends! Well anyway he took the laugh it off option and others in the group laughed and made some fun too. Now what if when she said that, he said, well your putting on the pounds arn't you fatty! I think the people in our group would have felt he was extremely out of line....BUT WHY? to me they are both the same, why would any balding man not be offended when its mentioned, as why would any fat person not be offended when its mentioned in public to embaress them. I generally go with the laugh it off option, but have lost my temper with close friends and confronted them about it! I prefer the laugh it off option as it makes them feel you are not bothered!

Edited March 4, 2011 by Uk_lad

[Sparky]

Mmmmmm, if she had said that to me I would of asked her how many burgers she eats a day?, or hour......

[IamShedding]

I admit it's immature to poke fun at anyone for anything. I sometimes do however, unless I know it hurts their feelings. And people make fun of me, also. But there is no comparing losing your hair to obesity. Obesity is something you do to yourself and can be reversed with will power. (diet and exercise) I wish that were true with hair loss.

[Trichologist]

Its just a question of educating people. If someone makes a rude comment or sniggers, just look them in the eye and say "aren't you badly off that you have to laugh at someone with a medical condition".

[Guest Ian512017155]

I fully believe in karma. I went thru this to when I was in high school, because always had a high hairline even when I was 16, 17 etc and a few people use to make fun of me, well ten years later due to medications I still have all my hair and hairline and those same people that use to make fun of me are totally bald.

[Dutch]

It's merely childish rude behaviour. Even now years on, sometimes I hear comments & then get told "it's just a joke". I don't react. This is exactly what they want. They feel they're more superior than you. Some of the morons who make the mocking comments are balding themselves but are in denial.

Don't give them the satisfaction by getting upset.

[Sigildark]

some people make themselves feel better by putting others down, just the way life is

most people give up on that act as they mature and get older though

[Herakles]

It's totally unacceptable to be racist to someone based on the colour of their skin. But it seems acceptable and encouraged to make taunts about someone's appearance like baldness, big nose, body hair, overweight etc. Society sucks.

 

I've been brought up to treat others how you'd like to be treated.

Edited June 17, 2011 by Herakles

[NorwoodBalding]

I'd rather people laugh it off than take it seriously. It's because my family took my image so seriously that I fell into this state of chronic depression. If only they said "So what, it's natural", I would have been better off.

 

I see so many people younger than me who take it in their stride, but I'm stuck in this state of denial and stubbornness to not yield to my state of affairs.

[gottitgood4me]

I would have said. "Yep, Im balding and you are getting fat. We all have our "problems". Should we keep talking about it or stop?"

[ziggy00]

Also, I don't think most non-balding people know what a big deal hair loss can be. It's really devastating to see part of how you identify yourself disappear without having any control over it. People who don't experience it just don't understand.

[Speegs]

Balding people ought to be more sensitive and thoughtful toward people with any medical condition, we don't laugh at acne, we don't laugh at burn victims, we don't laugh at menopause but for some reason society laughs at people trying keep their hair.

 

No other vanity is as ridiculed, we shrug at boob and nose jobs, but heaven forbid you wear a toupee.

[ziggy00]

Balding people ought to be more sensitive and thoughtful toward people with any medical condition, we don't laugh at acne, we don't laugh at burn victims, we don't laugh at menopause but for some reason society laughs at people trying keep their hair.

 

No other vanity is as ridiculed, we shrug at boob and nose jobs, but heaven forbid you wear a toupee.

 

People definitely laugh at acne. I don't want to make excuses for people making fun of balding; it isn't right. But I think there IS and explanation, and it's that non-balding people find balding to be a pretty inconsequential attribute. To them it's goofy rather than traumatic.

 

Of course, we understand the matter differently. But one can see how without experiencing balding, people don't understand how traumatic it can be.

[mahhong]

I actually don't think it's done maliciously all that often. I think most of the time, in honesty, people feel awkward about broaching the subject and a bit of humour or light-hearted teasing seems the best way to go about it.

 

If you start going bald and it becomes noticeable, as pretty much all of us on here have experienced, it's very difficult for people to know how to approach that. Saying nothing can almost feel a bit like refusing to acknowledge the obvious and I think most people would rather make it clear they notice it an accept it than say nothing or get all serious and concerned about it.

 

It's not a nice thing to be losing your hair, we all know that. But I also think if you lead by example and try not to take it too much to heart it helps people feel more comfortable and reduces the comments about it - or at least your hurt when you hear the comments.

 

In some ways I would take heart from the fact that people can poke a bit of fun at baldness but not, say, other skin diseases or genetic problems, because it's so common and ultimately so accepted in society. It happens to a huge portion of the male and indeed female population and more often than not I think people just get a bit confused and unsure about how to deal with it and try to do so by adding a bit of humour to the situation.

 

How you react to that is nearly always the determining factor in how people continue to deal with it. I think if you take it too seriously and get too wound up by it people know it's a sensitive subject, and then either fall into the camp of becoming increasingly worried about getting anywhere close to the subject, or go the other way and rib you mercilessly about it. I think you have to try and be a little bit relaxed about it, if only for your own personal happiness and health. But fundamentally I think most people just want to deal with the obvious and think humour is the best way to go about it. After all hair and appearance are big in conversation and if everybody feels they can't even mention the fact you're clearly balding it puts people on edge.

 

Don't get me wrong, vindictive insults or continued reminders are not right or good for anybody. But I think you just have to let certain things go and understand not everybody who makes a little comment or has a little tease is trying to hurt you.

[Gish]

Interesting post Mahhong. I agree with you, I think people feel the need to address it and humor is the most acceptable way.

 

On the other hand, I think this works only for people who you know semi well. It is odd when other people comment on your hair loss as if you haven't noticed it yet. There is a strange personality trait in many of the humans i have come across, often enough, in my 21 years alive and that is the need to point out perceived flaws in others.

 

If I talk to someone with some 'physical flaw', whether it be something as mild as hair loss or severe as deformity or a missing limb, I don't feel the need to point it out or show the person I acknowledge their unfortunate condition. I just try and talk to them like I would any other person.

 

I think most people do this, but a few don't and I try and understand, whenever I am the victim of someone who feels the need to point out any one of my many flaws, that those who have their own problems.... ones far worse then my hair loss.

 

Hair loss has caused me a lot of grief, but at the same time I think it has made me a better person in the way I treat others. When something happens to you that you strongly dislike, and that something you have absolutely no control over, it was just the way you were born, I think you can sympathize with others a bit more. Maybe it has to do with growing up as well, but I feel it has had this effect on me.

 

On a side note, I was pleased with the fact that Wayne Rooney went so public with his hair transplant (granted, he pretty much had to otherwise every media outlet in England would be commenting on it). The way he did it gave a boost to the societal impressions on treating hair loss. People have come to terms with people dying hair, using make up, get plastic surgery, but treating hair loss is still seen as overly vain and comical.

[MrJobi]

People can be very cruel. I , myself experienced this when I started losing my hair. I recall people "pointing it out to me" like

 

- "Hey, you are losing your hair"

- "You are going bald"

- "Welcome to the club" (from someone who was bald)

 

My old roomate even starting calling me "Sy Sperling" the Hairclub guy.. Not good and not funny. Of course this affected me in a very negative way BUT also made me find a solution and vow to take action

 

People who have not experieneced hairloss cannot imagine the effects on an individual. Thus, many have no empathy towards it as they don't "relate."

 

This certainly doesn't isolate itself to hair: being hairy, short, skinny, etc. are ones of many areas where people are poked fun at..

 

If hairloss did one thing for me, it certainly taught me how to empathize with people dealing with challenging areas, many of which they can do nothing about ( or minimal)

[timintex2]

This is a topic that has always puzzled me. It's so embarassing for some of us that arent the "just shave it off" guys. I personally really hate it when people mention it as a joke with no regards to mine (or you guys) feelings. Its insanely disrespectful.

 

A woman (overweight I might add) did that to me here at the office just the other day and it really got my blood boiling. I came into work a little late, rushed in the morning and didnt have time to comb hair, etc.

 

As soon as I walk into the office in front of about 5 other employees, she goes "Oh you forgot to comb your hair... what you have left" and chuckled.

 

This caused another employee to start laughing. I was mortified to say the least. I wanted to cut her down so bad but I just laughed.

[BadBeat]

You should have said, "Well, it looks like you don't forget any meals, do you?" I would have paid money to see the look on her face after that!

[timintex2]

Oh believe me.. I wanted to say much more. I think people use it as another poster put earlier as a veiled dig at us.

 

Some of my friends , well certain 1 or 2, always just casually "bring it up". I know what theyre doing and it's just wrong. Sometimes its veiled as humor but more often than not it's a dig I beleive.

 

Most people know balding is a big issue and is unfortunately looked down upon, they are not clueless, and are intentionally trying to put us down with the veil of "humor".