What to do when you get cold feet

[ScottishGuy]

Hello People,

 

I am just at the stage where I will soon pay the deposit, but I still have occasional doubts about whether I really want to go through with this.

 

My doubts are not about the surgeon (Dr. Rahal), or the surgery or the cost. It's more the bigger question of 'is it really going to be worth it?'. Not just is it worth it, but 'what's so wrong with going bald anyway?'

 

I feel that once you have one HT, you are kind of locked in to having many more. I'm sure the majority of balding guys would love more hair, but only a tiny proportion would go through with a HT (even if they had the time and money). What do you guys think?

 

I'm wondering if there are any guys on here who cancelled their HT appointments then regretted doing so. Or, those who cancelled and feel it was the right thing to do.

 

When the surgery is months away it's easy to get swept along, but at some point you really have to ask yourself serious questions - preferably before you've become a lot poorer :-)

 

Would be interested to hear the experience of other guys on this forum.

[ScottishGuy]

Hello People,

 

I am just at the stage where I will soon pay the deposit, but I still have occasional doubts about whether I really want to go through with this.

 

My doubts are not about the surgeon (Dr. Rahal), or the surgery or the cost. It's more the bigger question of 'is it really going to be worth it?'. Not just is it worth it, but 'what's so wrong with going bald anyway?'

 

I feel that once you have one HT, you are kind of locked in to having many more. I'm sure the majority of balding guys would love more hair, but only a tiny proportion would go through with a HT (even if they had the time and money). What do you guys think?

 

I'm wondering if there are any guys on here who cancelled their HT appointments then regretted doing so. Or, those who cancelled and feel it was the right thing to do.

 

When the surgery is months away it's easy to get swept along, but at some point you really have to ask yourself serious questions - preferably before you've become a lot poorer :-)

 

Would be interested to hear the experience of other guys on this forum.

[Eman]

I had cold feet for years and even had cold feet the night before surgery as I was walking around downtown Ottawa.

 

For any of us that think way too much about things, whether buying a car or changing jobs, the HT decision definitely is a big decision as well and one not to be taken lightly, so there is nothing wrong with feeling unsure about this decision or taking more time to make it.

 

There is nothing wrong with being bald, as that is what I thought I would always be. But after years of research and cold feet about going through with a HT, I made a final decision to do it. But as I said, the night before I almost backed out...but then I remembered why I was going through with this (even with the future unknowns), I didn't want to be bald anymore. I was confident with the surgeon, as you also are, and I knew that I was making the right decision for me!

 

Take more time to research and really dig deep to see if this is ultimately the right decision for you. Not going through with it may be the best decision for you.

[kaounis]

I've said it before and I'll say it again...Dr. Rahal, and all the other Dr.'s aren't going anywhere....Take all the time you need...Once it's done, there is no turning back...I'm sure if you express your thoughts to Dr.R he will tell you the same thing. That's what he told me last year when I consulted with him...He saw I was very stressed and un-sure, he told me I should wait a year or so, even two, before making a decision. They are there to help you, not make your life more difficult...Dr. R always gets to thumbs up from me....

 

 

Just a thought from the peanut gallery...

[Bill - Seemiller]

ScottishGuy,

 

Ultimately, you have to be the one to decide whether or not you really want to restore your hair or whether you can live with going bald. It's a very personal decision and nobody else can make it for you.

 

It's certainly normal to get cold feet. In my case, I had some cold feet not because I wasn't sure if I wanted my hair back, but because I was afraid that something would go wrong. Thankfully, in the hands of a quality physician, the risks are minimal, but they certainly are possible. Since I was very unhappy with the way I looked due to hair loss, I decided that the minimal risks were worth the efforts to begin my hair restoration journey. 3 procedures later and I felt much more confident with the way I look. I just had a 4th procedure to acquire more density. I didn't feel that I "needed" it, but I certainly wanted it :-).

 

All the best in your decision making process. Take your time and consider everything.

 

Bill

[HairHope]

In my case, initially - I did a reasonable amount of reading and research on this forum and others before I got my first HT (strip). You would think this makes it easier for a second HT, however - I waited another 4 years due to "cold feet". At that time, although there are some unknowns with FUE, personally I didn't want to go thru the long recovery of a strip surgery again. If you are unsure, in my opinion, go FUE - to some degree, there is some going back with this approach.

 

My 3 cents.

[lost my swagger]

frankly, my advice is to LISTEN to your gut... perhaps such a large % of us get cold feet because deep down a part of us knows we are about to commit to something life altering... one needs to be ABSOLUTELY sure of this decision IMO....

[Tubs]

Scotty - it may not be cold feet, when you decide to have a HT you feel you have found a resolution to something that has been troubling you, once a "solution" is found the problem no longer seems as big as it was. Perhaps you have merely reduced the perception of your "problem".

 

Not sure if the above sounds like complete b****x but I think I went through a similar experience!

 

Tubs

[mgem]

Good advice if you've got doubts wait.

[roscopeeco]

you are exactly right tubs...when i first lied down to get injected i was like what the heck am i doing...but then once they were placing the grafts it was like bricks were being removed off my chest one by one...the feeling was great...it is natural to get cold feet, but in the hands of the right doctor you have nothing to worry about...your situation will improve no doubt.

[TakingThePlunge]

I did my years of research and was still flip-flopping all the time. One day I was marveling at some impressive before and afters and the next I was sure I would never subject myself to such "butchery." In the end, I realized that I was fundamentally unhappy with my appearance due to hair loss and that would never change for me if I didn't do something. I kept my head very tightly buzzed and got lots of unsolicited compliments about head shape, etc. but I always felt uncomfortable with that look. In the end, I realized that, by going to a top doc, I stood a great chance of getting a result I was happy with and if I didn't, then I'd have to resign myself to the fact that shaving bald was no longer an option and move on. I chose to take the leap of faith and I'm glad I did! On the morning of my HT I almost got up from the chair and ran away before they started cutting. I'm not being funny here. I mean it. Once I was passed the point of no return a real sense of peace came over me and I felt like I was thinking clearly again. At almost 5 months, I have no regrets and I look in the mirror now with optimism instead of hopelessness. Like Eman said, there is nothing wrong with being bald. Some guys carry that look off well and are confident with it. Only you can decide what's best for you. Good luck in your journey wherever it takes you!

[El Nino]

I think everyone gets cold feet, it wouldn't be normal not to.

 

I totally agree with LMS - go with your gut instinct.

[Atomic]

Everyones situation is different. It was somewhat of an EZ call for me.

1)I wore a hat ALL of the time in public anyways so if it didn't work...keep wearing the hat.

2) My age of 50. I lost most of what I was going to loose so...nothing to loose!

3) I hated the way I looked, so it couldn't be worse.

So it depends on your age, your current hairloss

& many other factors.

 

Good luck whatever you decide.

[ScottishGuy]

Thanks for your responses everyone.

 

After thinking some more, I'm feeling a lot more positive about going ahead with the HT now. For background info, I'm 31 and NW3-ish. I don't need any work in the crown area, but the front 1/3 needs lots of attention :-)

 

My surgery date is around the start of September - it can't come soon enough! At the moment I'm expecting around 3000 grafts so it should make quite a difference.

 

SG

[Geomarq]

My first HT is tomorrow AM! Cold feet yes, but looking forward to it. Do your homework, and dont look back..

[garet]

Time to revive this thread, since I am having cold feet about the HT myself.

 

I'm considering canceling my HT appointment in October for the following reasons:

 

1) After a HT using the strip, FUT method, a very short haircut or buzz-cut will never again be possible, unless one doesn't mind a long, smiley-face scar showing through the short hair. Two HT doctors told

me this as well.

 

2) If I opted for the FUE method (not the method of choice on this site, contrary to other sites) the scaring would be more tolerable, and I probably could get a very, short haircut, though probably not a buzz cut. Unfortunately, there is no way I can afford the 10,000 + USD that 2,500 grafts with the FUE method would cost. I know FUE is a viable option, but too expensive.

 

So what to do....looks like I have to postpone or cancel my upcoming HT appointment until I'm sure I want to go through with it.

Edited August 30, 2010 by garet
Cut sentence with bad grammar

[wb280]

Garet, i was on the fence myself for some time due to similar doubts. I was concerned that the scar will not turn out well. The trigger came when i was diagnosed by another top notch doc that i am not a suitable FUE patient. Like David pointed out, after doing lots of research, my confidence grew and rather than whine everyday in which nothing will change, i grabbed the chance to do something and u know what, even at 2.5mths now whereby i m looking worse than before with the weird hair cut and shock loss, a sense of calmness is all over me compared to before surgery. Its strange but it happens.

Back to your situation, its obvious u aint ready mate. My 2cents worth is that if indeed u r a suitable FUE patient, postpone your HT and save more money. In a year or more, u might be more mentally prepared and financially ready too

[Bill - Seemiller]

Garet,

 

While FUT scarring if often minimal, nobody can provide you with a guarantee that the scar will be perfectly concealed by existing hair at very short lengths. While there's also no guarantees with FUE, it won't produce a linear scar and wearing your hair at very short lengths without showing evidence of scarring is more likely.

 

That said, it may just be better for you to hold off on getting a hair transplant than jumping into it and later regreting it. There's never any harm in waiting.

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

 

P.S. Once again, this site is not for or against any one particular procedure despite the claims in this and other posts.

[Megatron]

first off, I am not really a fan of FUE mainly because of the cost and the lower yield. I had serious doubts too before I went through with my HT and created a similar thread to this. 7 months post-op I think getting a HT was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I don't miss the $ at all and I get a smile everyday when I look in the mirror. That said, if I had to pay $20K like some people did I may have a slightly different perspective.

[garet]

Garet,

 

While FUT scarring if often minimal, nobody can provide you with a guarantee that the scar will be perfectly concealed by existing hair at very short lengths. While there's also no guarantees with FUE, it won't produce a linear scar and wearing your hair at very short lengths without showing evidence of scarring is more likely.

 

That said, it may just be better for you to hold off on getting a hair transplant than jumping into it and later regreting it. There's never any harm in waiting.

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

 

P.S. Once again, this site is not for or against any one particular procedure despite the claims in this and other posts.

 

I think I rushed into the idea of getting a HT. A friend of mine told me about someone he knows who had it done, then I began thinking about getting it done myself. I did a lot of research for a week before going for my first consultation and scheduling a date for the HT. Then, I did more research and got discouraged because I find so much conflicting info regarding FUT and FUE, and much of the this dueling information depends on which hair loss website you go to. Some seem to be more positive on FUE while others are more positive on FUT.

 

I think I'll just do a little more research and wait a few more months. If I get it done in six months instead of next month, perhaps I'll need 2,700 grafts instead of 2,500. Not a major difference.

 

If it weren't for the scar from the FUT method, I'd do it tomorrow. As for FUE, it's just a financial impossibility unless I cut the number of grafts in half...

 

In the meantime, I'll try to minimise loss by taking Proscar, though that apparently doesn't help at all for receding hairline, correct?

Edited August 31, 2010 by garet
More Grammar errors...

[RCWest]

Right now my only cold feet is funding lol. If I had all the money together I'd be on the next plane to Dr. Cooleys. I don't want to do little sessions and do the waiting and healing over and over, I want to do all 2500-3000 in one pop! Wait until you know exactly how many you need and for your pattern to be well established.

[scar5]

Cold feet and funding??...Well, it is hard for you to imagine this right now from where you stand now, but if you are left with bigger problems down the road, the funds mean squat. Speaking of funds and the possibility that you may do something you may regret, have you thought about a series of small FUE sessions?? I know this may not be something to satisfy you initially, but having a mindset, I will modestly and steadily improve/maintain my appearance over the next 10 years within my financial means and if I change my mind and buzz, I will have that option. FUE is not as expensive as you might think. Well respected FUE surgeons now post prices that compare favorably with the big strip clinics we see on these sites. I think this is the way to go in future - a slow and steady approach with 5 to 8 FUEs over the the rump of the balding timeline. Have you seen Steve form BHR? That approach is a winner IMO. The reputable clinic means a good chance of graft survival, not so much the scar will not bother you. Give it a thought.

[EpilepticSceptic]

Garet,

 

I think you were wise to cancel for now.

 

From the looks of your photos on your blog you will need at least 4000 grafts to get acceptable coverage. You seem to be somewhere between a NW4/5 for all practical purposes.

 

Forget about FUE as that will undoubtedly leave your bank account drained as well as a significant chance of failure IMO.

 

Seek the advice of the very best strip surgeons who do megasession FUT with the trichophytic closure. Do your homework properly and by the end you'll have 2, maybe 3 names left on your list.

 

For the record I recently had a 4496 graft megasession and my overall loss was less than yours. My scar at 3.3 months is as thin as a pencil line and my girlfriend cannot even find it; and it will only improve from here.

 

Whomever told you that you would never be able to have a short haircut again going FUT may just be a doc who is not very good at the procedure -- unless you have very poor laxity, or a history of genetically induced hypertrophic scarring.

 

 

 

I think I rushed into the idea of getting a HT. A friend of mine told me about someone he knows who had it done, then I began thinking about getting it done myself. I did a lot of research for a week before going for my first consultation and scheduling a date for the HT. Then, I did more research and got discouraged because I find so much conflicting info regarding FUT and FUE, and much of the this dueling information depends on which hair loss website you go to. Some seem to be more positive on FUE while others are more positive on FUT.

 

I think I'll just do a little more research and wait a few more months. If I get it done in six months instead of next month, perhaps I'll need 2,700 grafts instead of 2,500. Not a major difference.

 

If it weren't for the scar from the FUT method, I'd do it tomorrow. As for FUE, it's just a financial impossibility unless I cut the number of grafts in half...

 

In the meantime, I'll try to minimise loss by taking Proscar, though that apparently doesn't help at all for receding hairline, correct?

Edited September 1, 2010 by EpilepticSceptic

[wb280]

To be honest, i wanted to say so earlier but worried i might come off as rude. I concur with ES, i hardly feel 2500 grafts can give u much coverage given your loss. Like ES mentioned, 4000 sounds more appropriate but i could be wrong!

 

Also, the docs u consulted said FUE is suitable for u? Actually u have a big patch in front to cover and FUE are probably intended for smaller sessions. Even if its not the case, donor wise, it might be prudent to be more conservative.

 

Look, nobody wants a scar and nobody wants to be bald either. Deal with the cards u ve been dealt with. I would suggest u find a very good doctor who does strip surgeries and has a record of producing very thin looking scars.

[scar5]

Actually, I couldn't disagree with ES and wb more. I think you are smart to hold off pulling the trigger on a strip operation, however.

Let's look at the details and remember it come from a person who just paid for strip

 

ES says,

1) Forget about FUE because of a) cost and b) poor yield c) Pencil thin, my girlfriend, it's only gonna get better, etc., etc.,

a) cost wrong - just check

b) poorer yield? I agree, that the transplanted hairs themselves don't grow as robustly with FUE overall but consider you will lose 1000 grafts (in the bin) for every strip mega-session due to the linear extraction peripheral transection (that's over 60cm for a 30cm strip) and the loss of dormant hairs in the strip, maybe a fair trade off

c) Why will a strip scar get better as you age? It gets worse, not just because of the strip itself, but because the deterioration of the donor hair as you age

 

By the way I have done strip, by the best and worst, and FUE by the best and something less.

 

I think the reckless rationalism that goes on in these boards should be a caution to you.