Sex, Woman and Hair Loss...

[Maccer]

I started to lose my hair in my late 20's which for me was like experiencing an impairment of my face that just wouldn't disappear. I hated the feeling of losing something that made me, me. My hair is my crown and glory, it has always been something I have been proud of and has been a way of communicating my individuality and creativity, simply to me, its the icing on my cake. I see my hair as an expression of my personal uniqueness, without it I felt bare. Like a tie accompanies a shirt, my hair balances and compliments my features, so losing my hair wasn't an option.

 

Even throughout history, hair has been a preoccupation of the ages, where wigs were worn as a sign hierarchy and power, this is how the term big wigs was coined. Hannibal wore his wig to slaughter and carried a second for social occasions just in case he needed to impress, even Julius Caesar hid his balding scalp behind a wreath, endlessly searching for some resolve to the issue!

 

To me hair is important in so many ways, in evolutionary terms man is a product of his primal drives, he is genetically hard wired to search out & win a mate in order to procreate & pass on his genes. Hair essentially communicates a man's health and virility to the opposite sex.

 

Just like in other species hair loss can dictate a subjects value in the pecking order of society. Just as a lions mane when it thins or a peacocks feathers when they fall out, desirability is considerably lessened. Most men feel they become deficient & defective in some way to the opposite sex, which can lead to them to no longer feeling respected and valued in society.

 

In a world where man's role was once the hunter-gatherer & procurer of resources, this is no longer the case. Women have now entered the work force & become providers in their own right. Woman's role is no longer just to nurture and bring up the children, but to live as equals in every respect. Women wanted equality, this in turn lead to feminist liberation where women sort to have a level playing field, not only did women already have the overall evolutionary sexual selection power by being the choosier sex, women now no longer need man for his bread and butter. Instead, women can now be even choosier: with her keen eye sorting the chaff from the wheat, she is now looking and can afford to have only the best physically and mentally. Men are now having to reconsider their position, which can now mean only one thing...that masculinity & modern man are now in crisis!

 

In an age where self-image is now idolised, beauty has become the new form of social currency, it defines our Social Market Value (SMV). Our orientation to the opposite sex has changed drastically...men no longer just want to look, he wants to be looked at. He doesn't just want to desire, he now craves to be desired. Fashion and glamour has taken over and seems to be the new power, from adverts for guy liner, moisturisers to mankup, from the mankini to meggings, the male grooming list goes on and on. An industry which is set to exceed ?33 billion pounds by 2015 worldwide! These pressures begin to take their toll, all the while mans self worth and self esteem fluctuating in comparison to the SMV 100. Big business knows this only too well, as it seeks to understand our insecurities by appealing to our needs for a quick fix, that just simply doesn't exist. Every man now has a value on his head, he has become a commodity and this major shift in society has subjected man to feel his self worth devalue when experiencing hair loss! This has lead men to experience great anxiety and pain in a need to live up to these societal ideals.

 

In a study of 1000 men who experienced hair loss, it was noted that anxiety has increased & self esteem (62%) had hit the rock bottom. Men also reported relationships becoming affected (38%). Man's pain is very real when he loses his hair, as (3%) of men have contemplated suicidal thoughts at some point, only for the doctor to diagnose depression (21%) determining that you feel socially anxious, vulnerable, and alone which in hindsight was never the cause. This just becomes another statistic and the matter is given no real second thought".

As a psychotherapist & hair loss sufferer this has permitted me unique perspective on the issue from my own experiences and through the experiences of others. On the 13th of November, I underwent a procedure of 3600 FUE grafts with Dr Bhatti In Chandigarh, India. I will post further info about my progression in the future as my results come to fruition!

 

I praise such resources like these hair loss forums as they provide a unique and important service that without them, men would be at a loss. I am without a doubt, sure that those percentages previously discussed (depression and suicidal thoughts) are actually decreased because of these platforms providing a support base. I would be grateful of your feedback and would like to know your experiences of hair loss and what your greatest challenge was when you discovered that you were losing your hair. You can email me privately with your thoughts. I have run a busy practice for the last 10 years, but if anyone is interested, I would be happy to offer a free 30min Skype session to offer you some help & support.

 

Many thanks for taking the time out to read my musings.

Edited April 21, 2014 by Maccer

[Blake Bloxham]

Steve,

 

Thanks for sharing. It's good to hear that forums are helping! Our goal is to help hair loss sufferers, and it is nice to hear that we achieving this!

[Maccer]

Please see an interview that included me on 'This Morning' UK. My hair was very receded but I had disguised the overall loss.

 

**outside link removed by moderator**

Edited April 14, 2014 by Future_HT_Doc

[Pete-from-Farjo]

Interesting read Steve.

 

Congratulations on your procedure and I look forward to seeing how it progresses

 

Pete

[Blake Bloxham]

Steve,

 

Again, thank you for sharing your story. However, outside links are generally not allowed on the forums. In the future, please refrain from posting these in discussion threads. Thank you for understanding. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to send me a private message.

[Spanker]

Interesting post. Thanks for sharing.

[Paulygon]

Hi Steve, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I wonder if the fact that hair loss is addressable brings down the social value of men who do not address it? (as opposed to 50 years ago when it was not addressable... women must have been much more accepting of bald men)

[Maccer]

Yes i think it could have a detrimental effect on SMV...

 

There has been research that has addressed the subject whereby a dating website posted a fictitious profile of a man with hair and the same man with no hair (photo-shopped, completely bald) and the results after 2 months were unanimous as women dating on the internet were five times more likely to contact men with a full head of hair, rather than those who are bald or balding.

 

The man with hair got 108 responses. As for the bald guy he only received 22 responses...

Edited April 15, 2014 by Maccer

[Maccer]

Hi all

 

I am looking to understand what other hair loss sufferers feel the underlying cause is and why they feel the way they do with some personal accounts of how they feel hair loss has impacted, affected them socially and personally. I have tried to relay this with my own personal account but would very much appreciate a wider opinion.

 

Many thanks in advance.

[Mrdott]

A very well executed account! What I find interesting is the correlation between a man's pecking order and hair loss. How hair loss can cause a deficiency which in relation to man's and woman's new roles in society can cause a whole lot of confusion for us. As a man our new focus in the 21st century seems to be gauged on image/beauty, the same as women.

 

I'm thinking that's because WE ARE TRYING TO CREATE A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD TOO, as they earn the money like we do, we want be pretty like them as to balance it all out..but to me man will always be at a loss as man can't live equally with women...we need to have power unfortunately..

 

It begs the question, what is man's role in society right now...?

[Mask]

@Steve, this was a great read. Thanks for sharing.

[YaoMing]

@Steve, this was a great read. Thanks for sharing.

 

Hey Mask,

 

I saw one of your post in another thread regarding your search for a solution for your hairloss.

Like you, I am of African decent and have the same hair type and skin tone like you.

You have been researching for a while and would like to get some tips from you.

I have not seen one good hair transplant on black dude - is this thing not for us?

 

I am considering SMP - how would you rate it?

How long have u had it? Fill me in bro.

 

Sorry to hijack this thread as I dont know know how to send a private message.

[Dolph1969]

Hi Steve, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I wonder if the fact that hair loss is addressable brings down the social value of men who do not address it? (as opposed to 50 years ago when it was not addressable... women must have been much more accepting of bald men)

 

Look at the hair of former American presidents, Kennedy, Reagan, Clinton...says it all really.

[scar5]

IMO, as a white boy, the social value goes like this

 

1. NW1 with age appropriate contemporary fashion sense hair style

2. NW2 with age appropriate contemporary fashion sense hair style

3. Shaved head with NW1/2

4. Shaved head with NW3-7

5. Buzzed head with NW1/2

6. Buzzed head with NW3-7

7. Receded hair line combed back without crown baldness

17. Receded hair line with balding crown

77. Bald top, thick sides

7,770,700 Perfect hair with public knowledge that you had hair transplant

[Dolph1969]

IMO, as a white boy, the social value goes like this

 

1. NW1 with age appropriate contemporary fashion sense hair style

2. NW2 with age appropriate contemporary fashion sense hair style

3. Shaved head with NW1/2

4. Shaved head with NW3-7

5. Buzzed head with NW1/2

6. Buzzed head with NW3-7

7. Receded hair line combed back without crown baldness

17. Receded hair line with balding crown

77. Bald top, thick sides

7,770,700 Perfect hair with public knowledge that you had hair transplant

 

Rubbish. Loads getting it done. No stigma at all these days with "Doing a Rooney".:cool:

[scar5]

Rubbish. Loads getting it done. No stigma at all these days with "Doing a Rooney".:cool:

 

Rooney's doing very well, judging by the 'Daily Mail' and that channel 4 program , called 'Embarrassing bodies'

 

Daily Mail from 2013,

 

England striker, 27, has new bald patches following first operation

[Dolph1969]

His hair is writing cheques , his face can't cash.

[optimist800]

A very well executed account! What I find interesting is the correlation between a man's pecking order and hair loss. How hair loss can cause a deficiency which in relation to man's and woman's new roles in society can cause a whole lot of confusion for us. As a man our new focus in the 21st century seems to be gauged on image/beauty, the same as women.

 

I'm thinking that's because WE ARE TRYING TO CREATE A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD TOO, as they earn the money like we do, we want be pretty like them as to balance it all out..but to me man will always be at a loss as man can't live equally with women...we need to have power unfortunately..

 

It begs the question, what is man's role in society right now...?

 

 

I really don't think women care that much if we have hair or not. As long we're not hung up about it. They don't want to date anyone with more hang-ups than they have.

 

Having said all that, I suppose it's about perception... Here in the UK, we've never had many bald prime ministers. Only Churchill and Atlee come to mind. I can't think of one US president who was.

 

I'm thinking of getting a HT because I like how I look with thicker hair. I wish I'd appreciated it more when I was young and let it grow a bit more!

 

For me it's not about attracting more women, though I wouldn't complain.

[optimist800]

Look at the hair of former American presidents, Kennedy, Reagan, Clinton...says it all really.

 

And not forgetting the current vice president's bad hair transplant.

[hairweare]

Recall that Romney had the best hair of all and still lost!

[MAGNUMpi]

I really don't think women care that much if we have hair or not. As long we're not hung up about it. They don't want to date anyone with more hang-ups than they have.

Gotta agree with that. Maybe (some) young women up to their 20's care about hair loss but by the time they hit their 30's they've been through so much themselves that other things matter much more regarding men. Of course the top 1% of beautiful women will always gravitate twords the best they can find because they CAN but everyone else is just trying to find happiness, love, and security. I think that a HT is really a confidence booster for the man. I know I care WAY more about my loss than any woman I have even known. Feeling good about oneself is an important part of living and many people on this forum are very happy after their OP so if nothing else there is that, which is great.

p.s. There is a very hot 24 year old girl at work and just yesterday her boyfriend came to pick her up. I wanted to see this guy and.....He is a NW6 in his mid 20's! but he is with this gorgeous girl! He just doesnt seem to care and just rocks it. nuff said.

[Dolph1969]

Was looking at the poster for Fast and Furious 7 the other day.

 

Only one bloke in the picture has hair.;)

[wb280]

lol. i din realize that. Good one Dolph!