Ever wonder how life would be different?

[SRK735]

I wonder everyday,I wonder if I had a full head of hair my life would of ended up so different...I would have a different life,different job,different everything.

 

I take 1/2 hour everyday and day dream of how my life would have been so different had i not had hair loss issues..

 

Hair loss has effected my career advancement,my relationship,most importantly my self worth.

 

Besides work I wear a cap at all times,even at home...I try my best not to go to places where I would have to expose my head.

 

Its caused a burden on my relationship,I sometimes dream about a full head of hair and how much more positive my life would have been.

 

Do any of you think from time to time how much life would differ if hairloss had not been an issue in your life?

[SRK735]

am i the only one?lol

[ejl7]

Hair has always been an issue of embarrasment for me. Even though i had a small bald patch on my crown. It affected me severely. I would spend a long time recombing and restyling my hair. I would look at people who had thick hair and be envious. Or Hispanic people with a thick set of hair who would just shave their head!!! wtf? Even now, six months after my surgery, I still feel weird even though my hair is slowly growing out. looking in the mirror constantly and even staying home because of a "Bad hair day". I know how you feel. Granted, I am not bald, but that feeling of losing hair, is terifying....

[Guest mariewoltz25411697]

You are not alone. I dream about getting my full head of hair back. My confidence, energy, mood everything went low over the past 5months. I am not working properly and slacking a lot. My advice to you is, shave your head and takeoff your cap. If you are hiding something you always tend to feel low. I heard people feel a lot better when they don't have to hide something.

[ejl7]

No my friend I don't think so. I am fine the way I am, just need to be a little more patient, that's all.

[SRK735]

You are not alone. I dream about getting my full head of hair back. My confidence, energy, mood everything went low over the past 5months. I am not working properly and slacking a lot. My advice to you is, shave your head and takeoff your cap. If you are hiding something you always tend to feel low. I heard people feel a lot better when they don't have to hide something.

 

 

Sorry my friend,i do not agree with your advice..shaving my head would make my problems worse

[standbyme]

Sure it can knock your convidence but hairloss shouldnt affect your life that much, certainly not the job you have etcc... Its not a disability, yes its a pain but jeeezzz c'mon get a little perspective. I'm just happy someone invented toppik lol. Plus theres lots of options out there to help us. I should poin out that it has affected me too I probably dont socialize as much but tbh I enjoy doing my own thing anyway even before I started losing my hair. I did go through something a few years ago that uts hairloss into perspective and pretty much stopped thinking about my hair, I think sometimes people need to step back and realise hairloss doesnt actually stop you achieving anything its in your mind and you can get perspective.

Edited August 30, 2011 by standbyme

[Bowser1982]

yes all the time man. I feel for you bro, if i were to put up my pictures of me at the age of 23 with a full head of hair and the build i had because at that time i really cared about my outlook, no way you would be able to tell thats me. If my hair loss had never started then i know for a fact my life would have been different. This is why i don't want to wait anymore and i want to do something about it. instead of moping around feeling sorry for myself thinking of what could have been, when i should just get up and do it.

[ejl7]

Guys....bottom line is this. Hair loss sucks and we have to deal with it. Drugs like propecia and avodart may work for some but not for me. Instead, I lost my libido and had to have treatments with hormone therapy to get it back. It was the worst experience ever. Most embarrassing. I had surgery, I am 6 1/2 mos post-op and am seeing some results though it's still early, and I already feel like a million bucks. Period!!! I can't wait to see what the next six months will bring. I am willing to have another to get the perfect look. Hair loss affected me so much I couldn't even leave the house, even though I was norwood 3 V. I caught it early enough. Guys!!! Don't wait!! Have the surgery. Get on with it. You'll feel so much better. My life is already changing. I waited too long for this. My energy is up all the time now.

 

P.S. How's that for perspective?

[corvettester]

Some of the comments above are textbook examples of Body Dysmorphic Disorder Syndrome (BDD).

 

BDD is a very real mental health issue with very serious potential and actual consequences, which affect both men and women. Unfortunately, BDD isn't frequently discussed here on the HTN.

 

Consulting with a psychiatrist who specializes in BDD may be of more benefit than undergoing an HT, because with an HT you are not addressing the root issue, but rather the object of the neurosis.

 

Personally, I have always heeded the advice of "perspective" as others mentioned above. It could always be much worse, I think to myself. Not a day goes by where I don't see either a disabled, blind, dismembered, burn victim or mentally disabled person. I can't help but realize how trivial my problems must be compared to theirs.

 

However, when dealing with BDD, all reason and logic is moot. Just like an anorexic person is able to see themselves as fat, so does a BDD person see themselves as disfigured, despite reality. Naturally, hair loss will make just about anyone initially self-conscious or hamper our confidence. But when it's to the point that you can't go outside, dread all social interactions to the point of obsession, causing undue stress and anxiety... that's when it time to seek professional help.

 

Hair loss is not a disfigurement, nor is it a disability. It's all in your head, which does't make it any less real, but does dictate a different and unique approach to treating it. Unfortunately, for men there seems to be an intractable stigma attached to not only cosmetic surgery such as HTs, but also seeking professional help for mental health concerns such as BDD.

 

 

The best advice I could give someone is to go talk to a physciatrist about it, a specialist in BDD. It won't be as an emasculating and humiliating experience as you may think. When your car is broke down, you take it to the mechanic; when your sink won't unclog, you call the plumber; when you have a headache, you take a aspirin. Thus, mental health issues should be addressed in the same way as physical health issues, such as the flu, arthritis, hemorrhoids or ulcers... by seeing a doctor!

 

An HT should be for yourself, because you want it, not because you need it. I view it the same way I view physical fitness, good hygiene and dressing / grooming well: to look my best. Sure, even now I could dress better and have more muscles and better skin care products, but I don't need them.

 

To read such comments like those posted above about depression, anxiety, social isolation, time wasted fantasizing, occupational and social impairment, etc... is really sad considering that baldness has no effect on performance or ability in any known way. In every field, including entertainment, there are successful bald men.

 

The real problem is obviously the psychological effects of baldness which fall under the umbrella term BDD. For men, it's usually hair, height or weight that are the object of the pathology. Fortunately for us, there are medical advances to address all of those issues... not cures, just advances.

 

The reality is that some of the posters here are actually not good candidates for hair transplantation due to their BDD. An ethical doctor should screen patients for BDD and if they exhibit traits of it, the doctor should not grant them an HT.

 

This is an important topic and it'd be great if some doctors could chime in.

 

 

 

Corvettester

Edited August 31, 2011 by corvettester

[standbyme]

Guys....bottom line is this. Hair loss sucks and we have to deal with it. Drugs like propecia and avodart may work for some but not for me. Instead, I lost my libido and had to have treatments with hormone therapy to get it back. It was the worst experience ever. Most embarrassing. I had surgery, I am 6 1/2 mos post-op and am seeing some results though it's still early, and I already feel like a million bucks. Period!!! I can't wait to see what the next six months will bring. I am willing to have another to get the perfect look. Hair loss affected me so much I couldn't even leave the house, even though I was norwood 3 V. I caught it early enough. Guys!!! Don't wait!! Have the surgery. Get on with it. You'll feel so much better. My life is already changing. I waited too long for this. My energy is up all the time now.

 

P.S. How's that for perspective?

 

Not sure it really shows any perspective to be honest you putting all your problems down to hairloss.

 

I am pleased for you but HT's are dependant on many factors it will not stop you balding.

 

Results vary so much, plus results achieved would be pleasing to some but to others not.

[ejl7]

I see your point corvettester and I have to admit that you make a valid point. I am extremely insecure about my "miniscule" hair loss. To me it's a gaping hole. I admit I go to extremes and a visit to a psychologist may be beneficial. I do however feel much better now. Btw, congrats on your second HT. I can't wait to see your pics.

[Profoam]

Guys....bottom line is this. Hair loss sucks and we have to deal with it. Drugs like propecia and avodart may work for some but not for me. Instead, I lost my libido and had to have treatments with hormone therapy to get it back. It was the worst experience ever. Most embarrassing. I had surgery, I am 6 1/2 mos post-op and am seeing some results though it's still early, and I already feel like a million bucks. Period!!! I can't wait to see what the next six months will bring. I am willing to have another to get the perfect look. Hair loss affected me so much I couldn't even leave the house, even though I was norwood 3 V. I caught it early enough. Guys!!! Don't wait!! Have the surgery. Get on with it. You'll feel so much better. My life is already changing. I waited too long for this. My energy is up all the time now.

 

P.S. How's that for perspective?

 

I have a few questions

 

How old are you and how many grafts did you have ?

 

I find your comment that you were "treated" with hormones to get your libido back interesting. What type of drugs did you use ? Are you still on them ? Unless you used Serms ( Clomid , Nolvadex, etc) to restart your HPTA there is no "treating" low hormones as in the sense you take the drugs for a while and your hormone levels reset, quite the opposite in fact.

 

A HT is risky enough ( and I have had 3 and I'm very pleased) but a HT without Propecia is playing Russian roullete as you could run out of donar hair in the future

[Aski]

You guys make some valid points. I too had a hair transplant with the impression that i would use propecia in combination to reverse my hair loss.After the surgery I had some very bad reactions to propecia. I experienced every side effect listed on the label. That drug gave me low libido, erectile dysfunction, lethargy , muscle spasms. Insomnia,brain fog, decreased muscle mass. male gynecosmastia (male breasts) and i had bouts of suicidal depression. One week off the drug my attitude completely changed and i felt so much better. Now im playing russian roulette as Im destined to be a norwood 6 and completely freaking out about my situation. I was a bald man for years and can only now dream off going back to a shiny bald dome if I knew having a transplant would be such an emotional roller coaster. On top of that my doctor was a whack job and never informed me about the limitations and led me to believe i can achieve a head full of hair. It's my fault of course for not doing my research and making a decision based on my insecurity at the time. I now have to live with my decision and look far worse now than I was bald.Im completely embarrassed and more isolated than ever. My worse fear is being that hair transplant guy with 8 scars on his head mangled and now sporting a bald mangled look. I guess I can wait it our for the mean time wait for the scar to heal up then make a more educated decision on my next step. Another lesson learned in life.

[ejl7]

I visited an endocrinologist who had my blood levels checked and found that my testosterone level were a third of what they ought to be while my estrogen was twice as high. Advised to quit avodart and put on estrogen blockers i.e. anastrazole which brought it back to normal. my testosterone didn't budge and so she prescribed other treatments including shooting some liquid (Can't recall the name, into my lower abdomen three times a week to help my testes kickstart the production of testosterone.) After about three months it started to work. Every two months I'd get blood tests where I saw my levels were balancing off. Eventually I had to quit as the treatment was getting expensive and I couldn't afford it. There was also talk of a metabolic diet, proper daily supplementation, including saw pimento and others that I just can't recall, including exercizing or more specifically put. sexercizing...There was this psychological aspect that worried me but it went away as I started performing better. Now i'm 41, I've been warned that my levels will fall off again if I discontinue treatment, but at this point i'm like, ah, I'll wait and see. But I agree with Aski, the side effects of drugs like propecia and avodart are very, very real.....

[ejl7]

Hey Aski, it's still too early to judge results. Hang in there man for at least another 3-4 months before you see something. I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised....

[Al - Moderator]

Corvettetester stated that "Hair loss is not a disfigurement". I tend to disagree with that although I do think there's an age factor involved. If it wasn't a disfigurement then why is it when a Dr performs a HT on a young kid maybe 8 or 10 years old who had hairloss for whatever reason do most people here feel the Dr was doing a great thing, was compassionate, helps the child not have to face ridicule or criticism, or helps the child's well being, etc? If it was normal and not a disfigurement, we wouldn't feel that? Would we?

[vanitysucks]

If there were no remedy to correct baldness I probably wouldn't care about it. Just knowing there is a way to improve my thinning hair gives me just enough motivation to dwell on the issue of baldness more than I should. lol

[kathie47]

If there were no remedy to correct baldness I probably wouldn't care about it. Just knowing there is a way to improve my thinning hair gives me just enough motivation to dwell on the issue of baldness more than I should. lol

 

yeah...its only when we know there's a way to fix something that we dwell on fixing it

[boulala]

corvettester you make a very valid point but it is beyond that, im 19 and i feel no matter what any psychatrist says to me it will not change how i feel. its not like they can say its normal it happens to lots of people. being 19 and being worse off than a lot of you 30 and 40 year olds should make u guys feel better knowing atleast you got through most of your 20's with some hair.

 

i to dream of what i would be doing right now if i had a full head of hair like i did once, definatley would not be on this site daily searching for answers.

[Traction]

This is a tricky one. Everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side, but it isn't. Just have to play the hand you're dealt and make the most of the situation.

[blkblk]

I read recently that balding men on average earn more than those with full heads of hair.

 

I guess this is as they are thought to be wise/nerds/smart rather than young/inexperienced.

 

Unless you want to be a model, I doubt that your hair is holding your career back - the negative attitude might be though. It seems like this cure needs to be in the head, not on it.

[Radius]

What if... Well, I still have a full head of hair (after my frontline was restored with a hair transplant). I'm definitely a whole lot happier since my frontline was restored. More confident, less worried, better self esteem and so on.

 

I still worry about further hair loss though. If I wouldn't suffer from hair loss, it would save me some time every day (not having to apply minoxidil and take pills and not staring in the mirror at my hair so much ) and I would be less afraid of "growing old" (and bald). That's how it affects my life: hair loss fear! It's like I would do almost anything to keep my hair.

 

I try to not think about it too much though. I just hope the meds keep working.

[iwokeuptoabaldpatch]

I read recently that balding men on average earn more than those with full heads of hair.

 

I guess this is as they are thought to be wise/nerds/smart rather than young/inexperienced.

 

Unless you want to be a model, I doubt that your hair is holding your career back - the negative attitude might be though. It seems like this cure needs to be in the head, not on it.

 

Exactly... the vast majority of middle managers and senior level guys and proffesionals ive seen in my field are not only bald to some degree, but usually also have one or most of the following,

i) are fat

ii) wear glasses

iii) have terrible dress sense

So i dont see how looks can hold you back in a career unless your a model or singer.

 

This website lets face it is composed of a minority of bald/balding people. Many people suffer some form of balding lets say in their 20s and many dont get any balder ofr 15-20 years , alternatively some get it in their late 30s and they still have the same hair 15 years later.

Up until 250 years ago a lot of civilisation married and mated in their early or mid teens and were dead by 50 in the majority of cases.

 

Every day i see loads and loads of bald men (and i dont mean shaved heads) with very beautiful girls....I admit i see it far far more in cultures like the indians,chinese and arabians than westerners. I do think its an american hollywood propogated message that good looking people only should mate with other good looking people

 

Looks come and go.ive seen many a 18-20 year old of poorer socio economic circumstances, knocked up and has 3 kids by 25 and looks fat out of shape and aged by 28-30

 

We all have a prime and for some of us its shorter than others.

[MrJobi]

Hello

 

I think it is normal to "dream" about how different factors would change your life. More hair, taller, slimmer, richer , better looking, etc.... The point here is to control what you can and accept what you can't. Hair loss was very disasterous for my self image as well. So, I started using concealer, taking propecia and formulating a game plan to address it. 7 years later I have beat it . Life will knock you down and you need to take a proactive approach to solve your challenges.

 

Sometimes, we cannot do anything other than accept situations in our life and move on. There are many people out there who can barely walk , so it is essential you keep things in perspecitive as well.

 

If this becomes a "problem" there is nothing wrong with talking to someone about it but more importantly, take action to address the challenge if possible.