Sick and Tired of Balding

[GoneTodayToo]

I've been losing my hair since I was 17-years-old. I actually started the process when I was away from home at a summer camp in Rhode Island. And now, as I am a graduate student helping teach students in Ireland, I cannot help but once again feel the sting of hair loss--made worse by the fact that my fin. is off-label and I couldn't risk bringing it, so I am on vitamins until I return home.

 

It's not that, considering I've been losing my hair for half of my life (I am now 34), my hair loss is that bad. I am still a NW III, but I hate the fact that it is so obvious. My problems are compounded by the fact--as I discovered I had autism when I was an adult--I returned for my undergraduate degree when I was 28 and now everyone I meet is a young man with a full head of hair. I feel like I've been cheated out of half of my life! And I only have the promise of more money in the future. I am still, for now, a starving grad student. And I cover my shame--once again on what is supposed to be a life-changing trip--under hats and covered in concealers.

 

I know that some pop ex-psychology students (even here) will give me the "you are not your hair" speech. I know I am not my hair. But, being autistic, I can barely speak to people without having to worry about their gaze slowly reaching my ever-expanding fore(five... or six)head. I know, I know... They aren't looking. Except, of course, they are. I've even had professors openly make fun of me, and one even felt so bad she gave me a "scholarship" of $50 when she discovered I am autistic and have learning disabilities.

 

I just wish, out of all the things I have to worry about, I didn't have to worry about looking like a full with cream and fuzz pasted to my head in an attempt to cover up my hair loss and the horrible, badly placed $3000 (I saved for 8-months and then got a $2,000 loan from my parents) hair transplant from a hair mill (BIG mistake) when I was 20-years-old. The result was awful. I supposedly got 1000 micrografts, although I sincerely doubt it was anywhere near that many. And the placement had them grown straight up from the hairline. I asked my roommate at the time what they looked like, and he said large ants with the scabs--that is how far apart they were place--and then like a picket fence of a hairline.

 

So here I am in this beautiful place, and I cannot even enjoy it. What am I to do? I have been saving up (student loan money--bad idea, I know) so that I have what might be enough for a small HT with Dr. Arocha (I live in Texas, and I hear he's a excellent surgeon). But God love me, I am just too scared to be disappointed again--although part of that could also by the autism talking.

 

But damn it, I'm tired of hiding. If I don't have the courage to show people I know what I really look like, then I can at least show you all here, no matter how hard it is.

 

I've never told anyone this entire story. I've never even typed it anonymously online. Hopefully, at least someone will relate to my story.

[imnothere]

Your doing pretty well for 34 years old.

 

Get 1500 or so grafts and you'll be sorted.

[fueonly]

thats the catch if you get 1500 whi will stop your progressive baldness. Who knows you are destines to be class 3 class 4 or most horrible class 7. I would say you should get on DHT blocker consult good dermatologist. I think even if you go on medication it will may be or mabe not slow down hair loss but eventualy if you are destined to be bald no power in this universe can stop you from going bald. Hair restoration is the option but I don't know if you want to go for it. I understand what you are going through and trust me worst is still to come . I can imagine oh no that class 6 and class 7 baldness and then girls going and driving pass . Even if you have million of dollars you can't be happy unless head full of hair.

[GoneTodayToo]

Uhmm... I am on several medical treatments for hair loss, including a DHT blocker. I'm not sure, fueonly, that you are aware that I am 34 and have been balding for 17 years. Also, I'm not sure if you caught it, but I've had one procedure before. I'm sorry, I wasn't looking for advice so much as sharing my story. I know quite a bit about hair restoration now from these forums. I've been around here for since at least 2005. This just happens to be a new account as I cannot remember my old one. Still, I thank you for the sentiment.

[Blake Bloxham]

Today,

 

Welcome back and thank you for sharing your story! Have you considered minoxidil while on your trip? Also, I think contacting Dr Arocha and having a conversation with him would be very helpful as well. He's a great surgeon and a very nice man. I'm sure he could help you understand your options and help you move forward. Keep us updated!

[GoneTodayToo]

Yes, I have brought DHT blockers since I cannot get my off-label stuff through customs and I have foam minox and spectral minox, also I have the caffeine hair tonic--it's not my first time at the rodeo, if you can tell.

 

I'm just tired of it. I think it's gone on long enough. I feel like I've been robbed of half my life--it's hard enough to approach someone when you have Asperger's and to be balding and have had an obvious bad transplant before... well, it's almost impossible. Still, I am trying to enjoy my trip--I wouldn't even be here without scholarships (it's my first time abroad) and having worked and saved for a year. The irony is that, now that I can afford to go abroad, it conflicts with my savings for an HT, and I cannot fully enjoy this trip because (coming full circle to the time I started losing my hair at 17) because of hiding the bad transplant. Still, today was lovely, I just wish it was one less thing I had to worry about. I mean, I cannot even shave my head and forget about it because of the scar and the weird little hairs at the hairline because of the previous transplant.

[edwardharvey]

Considering you haven't to much crown or vertex loss, (from the pictures anyway) have you considered another hair transplant maybe a fue for your frontal part mainly a mature hairline. But i would only recommend this if you are going to stick with the meds long term. You really only have 3 options deal with it, shave ur head, or get a transplant.

[densedream]

Don't be so distraught man. You are actually in a viable position for a hair transplant. It looks like you have a great donor and just temple hair loss. There are many of us that have much worse hair loss at a much earlier age. Get it sorted with 1500 -2000 grafts. If you are ow on money, check out are newest recommended doctor, Dr. Bhatti in India. For 3500 bucks you could pay for flights, hotels, and a hair transplant. In a year from surgery you will be free to worry about other more important things. Good Luck!

[hsrp10]

which surgeon did you go with first time btw?

in any case, most of us have been there before so good place to vent and get advice on your future plan of action

[GoneTodayToo]

Thanks for the support, fellas. I don't know if I could go to India--being autistic, it was all I could do to gather the strength to go abroad here to Ireland. Plus, getting a cheap HT was not a good idea the first time. Although I am sure if the surgeon you recommend is recommended by the HT network, he must be good. Still, I am skittish now... well, even more so than usual.

 

The original doctor who performed my first HT was Carlos Puig. I would advise not going with him. Firstly, they performed the surgery when I was only 20--they didn't even advise me to wait to see if and when my hair loss would stabilize. They didn't offer any medications, either. Also, I had a minor infection and when I was having the stiches removed, the nurse told me that I should "have that checked out!" I had surgery there and I should have it checked out elsewhere? What? Also, the transplant was never satisfactory. The transplanted hairs all grow straight up from the scalp--I think you can see them in one of the pictures. They tried to then sell me 1,000 more mico-grafts behind the sparse, picket fence mini-grafts. I wisely declined. They were also doing a scalp reduction (yikes!) in the next room. They had four surgeries booked for that day.

[GoneTodayToo]

Well, I still haven't heard from Dr. Arocha's office. It's okay, because I have time yet. I know this seems strange to say, but I am not a terribly emotional person but I've still had problems approaching others here. Certainly, not worrying about my hair loss would have allowed me to enjoy it more here. But I've still been able to relax a little bit and enjoy the sights--the other distraction is the finals coming up!

 

Hopefully, I'll hear from Dr. Arocha's office sometime this fall. I plan on making a trip to consult in Austin (or for the transplant in Houston) as classes let out for the fall.

 

Thank you guys for your continued support. I guess that most of us would not have willingly signed-up for this odd little "balding brotherhood", but here we are. Thanks, guys!

[sheraz104]

I will kill to have hair like your's! and im only 22

[harlossfr40]

Thanks for the support, fellas. I don't know if I could go to India--being autistic, it was all I could do to gather the strength to go abroad here to Ireland. Plus, getting a cheap HT was not a good idea the first time. Although I am sure if the surgeon you recommend is recommended by the HT network, he must be good. Still, I am skittish now... well, even more so than usual.

 

The original doctor who performed my first HT was Carlos Puig. I would advise not going with him. Firstly, they performed the surgery when I was only 20--they didn't even advise me to wait to see if and when my hair loss would stabilize. They didn't offer any medications, either. Also, I had a minor infection and when I was having the stiches removed, the nurse told me that I should "have that checked out!" I had surgery there and I should have it checked out elsewhere? What? Also, the transplant was never satisfactory. The transplanted hairs all grow straight up from the scalp--I think you can see them in one of the pictures. They tried to then sell me 1,000 more mico-grafts behind the sparse, picket fence mini-grafts. I wisely declined. They were also doing a scalp reduction (yikes!) in the next room. They had four surgeries booked for that day.

 

You said your original transplant was done by Carlos Puig and the results were “picket fence minigrafts.” Well, although I do sympathize with the unnatural look of the grafts, I have to also say that you should consider yourself very lucky! Puig has done horrible work in the past, some have even created websites documenting their experience, including scars and disfigurement, see e.g.:

 

hair transplant repair

 

https://sites.google.com/site/pmgincompetent/

 

Also a guy who I found very informative while I was researching doctors has a username “Arfy” on this website. I believe he was a prolific poster and former patient of Puig. For example, see his post dated 12-25-2003, 11:09 PM here:

 

http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/eve/142405-dr-carlos-puig-trains-new-doctors-mhr.html

 

Arfy created his own website as a patient of Puig as well, but I have not been able to access it lately:

 

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/hairtransplant/

 

As far as hair transplants, my advice is at some point accept your hairloss. I don’t know how old you are, but I was young once and it was tough to lose hair at a young age, when most of my friends were not. However, everyone will grow old, and you’ll look fine among your peers. The key thing to avoid is unnatural results, it’s far better to have a bald head [shaven looks pretty good and attractive IMO] than have a look of obvious transplants. Transplants and related scars are permanent, they won’t go away if the results don’t look great. So if your current look after Puig is not natural, I would just focus on making it look natural; it may be thin but as long as it looks natural, as you grow older, that will be no big deal. Good luck to you.

[GoneTodayToo]

Actually, I had my first surgery in 2000. At that time, he was still performing the same old "singles in front" in an actual line... The only reason I didn't get off worse is that when I saw the horrible, sparse placement of the grafts, I didn't go back for the second session. I still do not believe, not even for a second, that I received 1,000 grafts. Still, I think you are right, I got off easy. However, it isn't because he took any extra care, or because he was using top-notch techniques. Even at 20, I was wise enough not to go back.

 

As far as hair transplants, I am still moving forward with more. I don't believe that my poor result from the first surgery was the result of a bad physiology, but on account of a poor surgeon with outdated techniques. The placement was truly terrible. It seems like people reading my posts are not getting that I'm actually 35-years-old now. I know, it's a little weird to be my age and still in college--it's because of my autism...

 

While I know that the age one starts balding is not necessarily the only consideration for what level of baldness one will stabilize at; however, I've been losing hair since I was 17--I've literately been balding longer than I've been alive. I'm on dutas and minox, and I have been since my early twenties. That, plus my father and his father never reached the upper levels. My father's in his early sixties and still a NW 4. Of course, that's not the only factor, but it is one factor. I feel I have stabilized, and considering my pattern despite 18 years of hair loss, I am doing relatively well. I have accepted that I have lost hair, but I don't have to accept that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. If nothing else, I can get a good HT and have my hair match my face--I am aware I have a very young-looking face, which actually makes my hair loss even more noticeable.

Edited December 23, 2014 by GoneTodayToo

[Spanker]

You should really be on fin. With a crown like that, your chances of ending up a nw6 or 7 is pretty unlikely. So I wouldn't pay too much attention to that. You look like you should be able to wear your hair down and be fine and concentrate on an ht when you come back. As far as the autism, you don't have to have that to be very self conscience. I would not use that as a crutch as to how you feel about it. You feel like a lot of people do and you are not alone at all.

[hadenough2014]

I agree you should try fin. You will probably not only keep what you have but you could also have some nice growth/recovery.

 

You have nice hair for 34. I think you are being too uptight about it. I had less than half your hair when I was 34! Try to keep what you have. If you must look at HT, you may consider econimcal FUE in Turkey by a recommended forum doc.

[ontop]

I agree with most of the members

 

There is a lot of plus factors for you such as 34 & still have a mop of hair left & many guys in there 20s today if they had the choice they would take what you have all day long .

 

Enjoy your trip get to see a derm, get on Meds then at least your doing something about your hair loss & that alone would do your brain so good knowing your not just rolling over.

 

We all here been in your shoes & still today....we feel your pain dude..

 

Your in good company ....

[GoneTodayToo]

Thank you for all the feedback. I really appreciate it. To reiterate, I am now 35-years-old. I've also been on finasteride (now dut) for over a decade. I know that I am lucky in some ways, but not others. It makes it even more appealing for me to get an HT--I could have an even nicer head of hair with a good HT, and I can ask the doc to think somewhat more aggressively about the HT knowing that I have stabilized, am on meds and rogaine, and have maintained a lot of hair for my age.

 

All that aside, can I ask people not to use the term "like or as a crutch." That phrase is pretty offensive to those with mobility disabilities. It implies that they are just not trying hard enough to walk. If you break a leg or a hip, you, too, might need crutches... at least for a while. Also, while I know that I can get into a funk (boy, was I in one in Ireland, and depression is common in those with ASD), autism can compound many problems. Social issues and impairments are common with autism, and hair loss can make those issues even worse. I am not nor have I ever said that hair loss is easy for anyone, but for some with other issues (both like and unlike my own), it is even more difficult. We have to be careful not to universalize our perceptions of the world. That is to say, simply because we have one experience of the world, it does not mean that others do not experience the world--even the same stimulus--in the same way.

 

Oh, and I got back from Ireland last August. This thread is a little older. Still, I thank all of you for taking an interest in it and giving me feedback.

[ontop]

All I can say..

Get your HT & have a happy life.

[GoneTodayToo]

I really do appreciate the support. I am, indeed, going ahead with an HT. I am not sure which doc I want to go with, but I will most definitely go with one recommended by this network.

[home1212]

go for it man, speaking as someone that hid a small and pluggy hairline transplant from the early 90's, its not worth all the frustration and waste of time with creative styling, you'll be pleasantly surprised with the new procedure techniques & results by any recommended surgeon on this site, including Dr. Arocha. I had my HT in Sept 2014 with Dr. Rahal in Ottawa and I'm nearly 4 months out - all I can think about is why didn't I do this sooner to save myself all the worry, aggravation, etc. There is an investment of time once you get the HT, results are not immediate and you need to be patient, but it's well worth it. Quickly looking at your photos & hair loss pattern, you also look like you're an excellent FUE candidate - just my opinion & preference if you don't already have a scar from a prior surgery. Best of luck to you.