Varying Reactions to Good Hair Transplants

[Cant decide]

I figured I would write this post because I have seen so many questions related to this and so this could help others. Anyway, here goes… It is astonishing to me the varying reactions that people get to their good hair transplants. I am not talking about the bad ones as we have all heard those horror stories but I am talking about reactions to good ones.

After reading many posts on this over the years, the reactions seem to range as follows:

1. Nobody saying a word, but you know darn well, they know something is up.

2. Complements on having more hair and looking better.

3. Complements on looking better but they do not know why.

4. A dumbfounded look (I love that one).

5. Criticism because god forbid we did something about our hair loss. Note that these are usually the same people who would also criticize you and point out your hair loss as well (Funny how that works).

I used to think it depended on the actual result and magnitude of the transformation that dictated which of the above one would predominately get. However, I have decided that it really is a combo of the transformation as well as simply the circles you travel in. I think it has more to do with the latter. For example, I was a NW 5 and as you can see from my results, my transformation was dramatic thanks to Dr. Rahal. However, very few people have reacted differently to me or have said a word. I think I have gotten one (You look good), one (You have more hair) and two (You grew your hair out). Other than that, not a word. Now, I know for a fact that I look 100% better than I did preop and even my wife has said that the change and how much younger it makes me look is just jaw dropping (She tells me the truth which is not always a good thing J). They must know something is up but they either can’t figure it out or they know and they just don’t say anything. It is hard to believe but it just goes to show how little people really give a ?%$^# about your hair.

For a while this actually bothered me and sometimes I would wonder if maybe the change is not as drastic as I think and then I look at before pictures and my wife slaps me upside the head and reminds me how much money we sunk into this and how I look totally different. For the life of me, I could not figure out why almost nobody has said anything. When I went into this, I was worried that the change would be so drastic that many would say something and I would feel uncomfortable. Now that the opposite is true, I think I would like a few people to say "Hey, you have more hair". It would be a sanity check of sorts.

Now, on the flip side, I see some people on this site who have relatively small procedures and they state that they get comments daily. I think it really matters in what circles you travel. My work colleagues have not said a word. I work at a pretty conservative place. Not many people that are the type that would either criticize or complement. In my personal life, while I have many friends and good family, I just don’t think they are the type to say anything either way. I also did do a good job leading up to the procedure by wearing hats all the time and I had been wearing some toppik for years which at least gave a frame to my face somewhat. Therefore, I think people had not seen me without a hat for a while and simply forgot what my hair really looked like. I also kept it very short for a couple of years so many may have assumed I have simply grown it out. I do also think that many people do know whats up but simply do not say anything as they do not know what to say.

Bottom line in my mind, the reactions you will get really depend on many factors and in my opinion, have mostly to do with the people you associate with. Don’t judge your result based on the reactions of others but rather on how you feel about it.

[MAGNUMpi]

Hi Cant decide,

Do you think that the answer is #1 in a lot of cases?

1. Nobody saying a word, but you know darn well, they know something is up.

Its sort of a side question, but are even good HT's detectable with a little scrutiny?. I haven't had mine yet but this question keeps bouncing around....will MY HT look natural/be undetectable if done by one of the best, and with a little luck?

I ask this because the people I know would be very shocked if they found out that I got a HT. I am 100% sure that it would upset them in one way or another. They aren't bad people but are very "natural" and would rather see a man go bald with dignity then go for a HT. I tend to disagree with them about things like that, and know I would feel better about myself with a solid hairline again. Maybe I'm being vain but it sure would feel good to take my hat off when I ride my bike, or just smile when my girlfriend runs her fingers though my hair. So my quest is to get a HT without anyone noticing and have it look 100% natural.....!!! even if I have to wait 5 more years for them to perfect FUE, or start cloning, because the reactions of the people around me DO also matter (still).

Anyway those are my 2 cents.

Thanks for the interesting post!

[Cant decide]

Magnu - Before my op, I worried about the naturalness as well. I can tell you that has been a 100 percent total non issue. I am confident that nobody has ever looked at me that did not know be before and think I had a HT. It it amazing how my transplanted hair looks exactly as my native hair did. I dont want to belabor the point but seriously, you will be amazed at the naturalness if done by a top doc.

 

As for your circles reaction. I love when people in general and especially those who have not had hair loss try to be judge and jury on "How we should handle it". People are big talkers until its their hair that starts to dissappear. If it really bothers you, as it did me, the HT is a very viable option. It has made me feel 100 percent better about the way I look and I can finally look in the mirror and recognize myself and smile. Dont let the ignorant and judgemental take that away from you.

 

Sorry for the mini tyraid but I have strong feelings on this subject

[aaron1234]

Here are some comments - good and bad.

 

"Your hair looks its best since I've known you."

 

"Is your hair thicker?"

 

"Your hair's pretty thin."

 

"It looks like your balding stopped."

 

"I thought you were going bald. Let me see your crown."

 

"Your hairline is receding."

[Cant decide]

I think the older you get, the less comments about hairloss are thrown at you in general. Younger guys get it the worst and old guys almost never hear it said.

[aseda1979]

Can't decide,

 

You made good points on people's reactions. Let me elaborate on one of the things you pointed out

 

"5. Criticism because god forbid we did something about our hair loss. Note that these are usually the same people who would also criticize you and point out your hair loss as well (Funny how that works)."

 

People criticize and point out the fact that you're getting bald, seeing your temples dissapearing and cracking bald jokes. After the fact that you tried to improve your looks and proceed to get an HT, and after a while it looks good, it also gives them a reason to say that you vain for doing it and that it looks unnatural or whatever.

 

It's like you can never make these people happy and they always gonna come up with something to say about your hair, instead of complimenting the fact that after an HT you look 10 yrs younger.

 

If you go bald and do nothing about your hair they will say something a bout it, or if you get an ht, they will also have something to say about it, both of them negative.

[abcd0000]

Thanks for this! It made me feel much better.

 

I hate the fact that there is such a taboo about HT. What's the big deal? Everyone has the right to want to improve their looks. No one anywhere would object to fixing your teeth and whitening them, or going to the gym.

[Noodles123]

Haters gonna hate... In all areas of life, the ones that criticize you do it because they thrive on being snarky and negative. I guarantee these same people would sing a different tune if they started balding and being the butt of jokes.

[Britanium]

Thank you for such a thought provoking post. I'm glad I'm not the only person thinking about others perception good bad or indifferent ☺

[1978matt]

My mother falls into category 3:

 

Yesterday it was: "Who cut your hair this time? They did a much better job than usual."

 

and today while I was driving her to a store ('Driving Miss Daisy' as my Dad refers to it!):

 

"..They really did do a much better job on your hair this time. It's not all sticking up all over the place like it used to."

[Rothki]

nearly all my mates etc know about my hair transplant since we see each other usually on a weekly basis. i have had mostly positive responses from most of them about it looking good etc,

 

i have had the "it is such a waste of money, man you could have bought a evo 9 " was one of them, along with many others.

 

 

My boss who is a nw6 still thinks my hair looks synthetic and makes out he still has more hair than me, we all know he is joking though

 

Another co worker thought it was wrong that a balding man can escape baldness, and that if you are bald you should have to be bald for ever (he can go get fu**ed)

[Cant decide]

nearly all my mates etc know about my hair transplant since we see each other usually on a weekly basis. i have had mostly positive responses from most of them about it looking good etc,

 

i have had the "it is such a waste of money, man you could have bought a evo 9 " was one of them, along with many others.

 

 

My boss who is a nw6 still thinks my hair looks synthetic and makes out he still has more hair than me, we all know he is joking though

 

Another co worker thought it was wrong that a balding man can escape baldness, and that if you are bald you should have to be bald for ever (he can go get fu**ed)

 

Wow, those are certainly some interesting reactions. Especially the last comment. "A bald guy should not be able to escape baldness". That is just plain stupid. I assume the guys that told you its a waste of money have no hairloss?.

Edited December 29, 2013 by Cant decide

[hsrp10]

"you look younger," "did you lose weight," "you seem more confident" are what I hear.

oh and not worrying about my hair when taking my kids to amusement parks and water rides, not reaching for a hat all the time and boosting my career from more confidence got me some nice comments from the wife.

 

the only "negatives" I got were not comments but weird "hair police" stares during both of the ugly ducking phases.

wish I had a video camera for those LOL !

[hsrp10]

Another co worker thought it was wrong that a balding man can escape baldness, and that if you are bald you should have to be bald for ever (he can go get fu**ed)

 

Yep indeed! well said man.

[Sethticles]

i went out on big boat party for boxing day, I had my first taste of things to come, a mate who i only see once or twice a year made the comments, wow your looking healthy mate, looks like you have lost a tonne of weight, when in reality i haven't lost any. Coming up next week will be the real tester, im catching up with the "shit stirring mates overseas" unsure how i am going to handle that one. rekon i might just say been on the hair medications like rogaine and leave it with that.

[abcd0000]

What do you guys do about direct questions from people you'd rather not tell? I once said I used medications (distant family member). On another occasion I just said I had a minor procedure (an acquaintance, but a nice guy).

 

The thing was, I didn't want to see HT as a stigma. Should I better not risk it and just tell I'm on meds? I now regret telling anyone except my closest family and friends.

[Cant decide]

What do you guys do about direct questions from people you'd rather not tell? I once said I used medications (distant family member). On another occasion I just said I had a minor procedure (an acquaintance, but a nice guy).

 

The thing was, I didn't want to see HT as a stigma. Should I better not risk it and just tell I'm on meds? I now regret telling anyone except my closest family and friends.

 

The meds is always a good one. I used "I grew my hair out" and that seemed to work pretty well. I used to keep it really short pre op.

[greatjob]

"I had a thyroid problem" is always a good cover story

[TommyLucchese]

]Bottom line in my mind, the reactions you will get really depend on many factors and in my opinion, have mostly to do with the people you associate with. Don’t judge your result based on the reactions of others but rather on how you feel about it.

 

 

I completely agree with this. I told my 5 close friends before I had my HT, since then only one has made a comment and that wasn't until over 1 year post op when he said it's really grown out and is looking good.

 

People are mostly very polite and generally, people tend not to care. I'm happy with the lack of comments anyway, want to keep it under the radar and I can see the change anyway so I'm happy.

 

(Not so happy about this winter shed of native hair at my crown but that's another story)

[rev333]

i've heard that someone told a close friend: "i don't remember (name) being so good looking."

 

so i think there is a lot of talk behind our backs!

 

that said, this original post should be made into a STICKY

 

great post

[RopainNogain]

My buddies know I had a transplant and they never say anything. Some of the comments I get make me think they forgot I had the proceedure in the first place...

 

"If you eventually ever go bald like that guy, you shave it all off"

"Once you're older and lose all your hair, you're going to have to shave your head" (bald friend)

"Your hair doesn't look bad" (friend who always jokes about my hairloss)

 

Real friends don't care that you're bald, or if you have a full head of hair. It's just another way to poke fun is what I've realized and it doesn't bother me much anymore because the comments are so far and few between.

 

I've gone from my buddy saying 3 years ago "I don't know how to tell you this, but I've been putting Nair in your shampoo"

 

to him now saying "Your hair looks good"

 

Jokes are funny, but when you just have enough confidence to tell them you don't care what they think and I'm going to not do something about it, they don't have more much to say.

 

One of my buddies is slowing thinning and I mentioned it so he is aware and he acts like it isn't... Then I see Nioxin shampoo in his shower and he says it's his moms. Can't fool me, been there, done that... shoot i'm still there.. The fight never ends!!!

[abcd0000]

that said, this original post should be made into a STICKY

 

 

I second that.

[Rothki]

Wow, those are certainly some interesting reactions. Especially the last comment. "A bald guy should not be able to escape baldness". That is just plain stupid. I assume the guys that told you its a waste of money have no hairloss?.

 

yes the guys who told me it was a waste of money have none, intact none of my close friends have hairloss

[bablu]

Thats an interesting thread..I am 5 months post ht and already starting to get comments like "Your hair looks thick", "How did your hairline came back", " New hairstyle suits you"... cant be more happier and still more months of thickenIng to come..Happy Days?

[thatoldchestnut]

I think as noted numerous times, most people don't place as much stock in it as the person who worries about it incessantly. If your transformation was dramatic they almost certainly notice but likely don't feel the need to comment, or don't want to risk making you uncomfortable etc. As for the people who criticise, there is no shortage of bitterness when it comes to hair loss. One need only look at the forums (gladly, not this one) where someone with minor hairloss is openly mocked and belittled by those with a greater degree of loss, told not to worry and that they would be happy with their hair, as is. This seems not dissimilar, like a sort of covetousness exhibited through denial.

 

Ultimately none of this matters imo, do it for yourself. If someone else gives you a compliment, great. If not, who cares? Self-perception is key.

 

Great post Can't_Decide.