My secret hair transplant

[Paulygon]

Dr. Mohebi offers something called Celebrity FUE Hair Transplant where a patient can go in one morning, come out at night, and nobody would be the wiser that he/she had a hair transplant. There is no shaving of the hairs in any region, minimal or no pain, and it can be kept anonymous if that is what the patient wants.

 

Although I can't afford "Celebrity FUE Hair Transplant and have already decided that I will proceed with an FUT/strip procedure for my upcoming hair transplant.. I am interested in keeping this procedure a secret from friends and family. I have the type of family that makes a big deal out of everything and I am sure if they know of my HT procedure, it will be a subject of discussion for a very long time.. this is uncomfortable to me so I plan to keep it under wraps.

 

Based on my experience with the 1st FUT/strip procedure (almost 4 years ago) was that after a few days I was back up and running, and life was generally back to normal. So I am hoping for the same thing. A difference in my circumstances now is that I am in a relationship (whereas at that time I was single, post break-up). Is there any way I could keep this from my girlfriend and her family as well? I would prefer not to a tell a soul this time around... This may sound immature, but I am tired of my culture's incessant yapping and gossiping, especially when I have such deep feelings about something (ie. hairloss) and they use it as just something to entertain themselves and make conversation about...

 

sorry for the long post... i'm probably venting.. but I'm seriously considering keeping this a secret from Everybody if possible.

[lorenzo]

I deal with a lot of Italian celebrities. Soccer players, coaches, actors, singer, politicians amongst others. Most of them are very popular in Italy but not so much in Canada unless you are Italian. I remember once a popular actor came for a transplant and wanted no one to know he was there. Its so happened that week there were 5 Italians there. It was not easy and a few Italians patients asked me if he was a certain actor I kept saying no he is American.

Regardless you will be surprised how many people don't care about your transplant. Women get their breast done and show them off. Men get a hair transplant and try to hide it.

[BaronVonHairline]

I don't have advice for you, but I fully understand. I'm considering HT#2 as well and am also concerned about it being undetectable during the healing stage and all that. I had a small one years ago and as I recall, there was no shaving of the strip area, and the scabs in the recipient area fell off within a few days and everything was unnoticed and normal. I'm really hoping I'll be able to have the same kind of experience this time as well. I have no desire to have family or coworkers notice.

 

A general question for anyone to answer, how come in some photos of strip procedures a huge section of scalp is shaved and in others it is not, or in some pics the entire head is shaved? Is it a practice that certain doctors use, or is shaving voluntary?

 

Very curious, as I have long hair and really don't want to have to shave for the procedure.

 

O/p--best of luck with your HT.

[esrec]

Completely understand and relate. I haven't told anyone.

 

Family is a little bit easier to hide from, as you choose how often you see them. A girlfriend with you on a daily basis is a bit more difficult. Does she know that it bothers you or that you were considering a procedure?

 

I dont imagine you can hide it from her unless your recipient can be easily covered with a sudden new hairstyle. Even then, you spend so much time with the person, do you think the burden of the lie will be worse than just sharing the news?

[Spanker]

What's your work life like? Is it a professional environment? Hats allowed?

How big of a procedure?

 

I had a hairline procedure and could have hidden it from my wife, but I think a larger area procedure like I think you are looking at will be difficult.

 

You are pretty seasoned and you probably know the answers but are looking for some support.

 

I would think that the family is pretty easily doable, but if your girlfriend is live in, probably not. If she isn't, you may be enable to get away with it, you would just need a week to 10 days at first and wear a hat when the lights are on. After your stitches are out she won't feel the scar unless she sees it or is looking for something.

[Paulygon]

Spanker,

My work life is such that I actually don't see anyone at all. I work from home all day. Skype conference calls with my boss about 1x/month. That part is fine.

I wouldn't wear a hat for the 1x/month call, and I'm actually okay telling my boss about my hair transplant. Told him about the last one and had no problem giving me time off for it.

 

The procedure will focus on the crown and some of the grafts are intended to fill in frontal areas that have had progressed hair loss since my first procedure 4 years ago. It will be 2500-3000 grafts. It will be a strip procedure.

 

Ya, I'm mostly looking for the support and I do appreciate the support I've gotten on this thread. In fact, I'm very surprised all the replies with so sympathetic.. I was expecting people to shun me and tell me to get over it.

 

In response to one of the replies, I think keeping it from my family won't be that difficult, but keeping it from my girlfriend will be very tough because of the amount of time we spend together (You're right about that).

[Paulygon]

A general question for anyone to answer, how come in some photos of strip procedures a huge section of scalp is shaved and in others it is not, or in some pics the entire head is shaved? Is it a practice that certain doctors use, or is shaving voluntary?

 

I've heard that it is easier for doctors to access the hair when the head is shaved. It just more time for the doctor if there are other hairs around the donor or recipient site.

[Stublue]

Yeah im in the exact same boat. I previously had a 2,100 FUE procedure with Dr. Bisanga over 3 years ago and told nobody. I had to shave my entire head and was out of work for 2 weeks. I came up with a story that I got an infection from a cut and had to shave my head. People believed me (including my family) so I got away with it. I was single at the time so that wasn't a problem!!

 

Now I'm heading back next month for another small op to strengthen the area right behind the hairline. Around 750 grafts or so. Thankfully as its a small op, I believe I won't have to shave the recipient but the donor will be shaved. Not a major problem as I keep my hair short at the sides anyway.

 

This time around I have a girlfriend so that's a problem!! Fairly new relationship too and I don't want to tell her. I've planned the op for a week that she is away so I will have around 7 days for the donor to heal and should be able to camouflage the recipient with the existing hair. She is a doctor so I really hope she doesn't notice anything as I can't really make up a story about an infection!!! If it's still obvious I might just have to tell her but I really don't want to. We shall see!

[chrisdav]

I am sure she would be supportive Stublue. How would most girls feel if their hair was falling out tomorrow?

[trashpanda]

I think it would be more concerning to your girlfriend if she found out that you were trying to hide something so big from her rather than just tell her straight up. It took me some time and courage but I told my girlfriend that I'm going to have one and showed her pics of patient timelines. She was totally supportive and even offered to travel with me to the procedure (out of the country). I've found it much easier to talk about the more you open up to people. I understand it's easier said than done but if people truly care about you they will understand you and support you no matter what. Good luck!

[dudewheresmyhairdude]

You're missing two big things here. Actually three.1) if you want to keep this a secret, you might wanna blur out your profile picture if that's indeed you, since it can be seen by anyone in the world, including your family, if they happen to stumble upon. 2) Telling your girlfriend is a good test. A) It tells you where she stands when you're down, so to speak. Will she take care of you, nurture you, or shun you. If the latter, wouldn't you rather end the r/p now then be with an unsupportive brat? B) Don't you want to know if she can actually keep a secret? If you're not gonna test her, how will you ever know? 3) Sex! I'm not talking hypothetically here. I'm in a 2 month r/p and I told the girl and by the next day we were going at it. No bending over for me, but plenty for her, lol. Gives you that nice brief spike in BP to wake your little follicles up. Now, I'm not saying an F marathon here. But short amounts of raising BP, imo, are good for establishing follicle circulation.

[Paulygon]

You're missing two big things here. Actually three.1) if you want to keep this a secret, you might wanna blur out your profile picture if that's indeed you, since it can be seen by anyone in the world, including your family, if they happen to stumble upon. 2) Telling your girlfriend is a good test. A) It tells you where she stands when you're down, so to speak. Will she take care of you, nurture you, or shun you. If the latter, wouldn't you rather end the r/p now then be with an unsupportive brat? B) Don't you want to know if she can actually keep a secret? If you're not gonna test her, how will you ever know? 3) Sex! I'm not talking hypothetically here. I'm in a 2 month r/p and I told the girl and by the next day we were going at it. No bending over for me, but plenty for her, lol. Gives you that nice brief spike in BP to wake your little follicles up. Now, I'm not saying an F marathon here. But short amounts of raising BP, imo, are good for establishing follicle circulation.

 

I like the second point.

This could be a good test to see how she treats me when I'm down or in need of care. Actually, it's scary to know that's There's a possibility she is a brat and only likes me when I'm attractive and fun to be around. There's a problem with that, if it's true, right? In terms of keeping a secret she is pretty good with that. I'm the one with a big mouth generally.

 

Ya I've thought about taking my picture down. I will do that soon. I used to be more open when I first got involved but after the 1st procedure my confidence a

Came back up and I started to get social and have made many friends in my city. Now I'm at a point where it's best for me to be a little closed regarding my deeper feelings (ie hair).

 

Regarding point 3, the sex wouldn't be a motivator for me telling her. I'm more interested longer term attractiveness (by Means of an undetectable hair transplant), which may lead to more sex in the longer term, than in pity sex (not Saying that was your case cuz obviously she likes you if she supported you thru it) or short term sex.

 

Anyway, point 2, testing her supportiveness and caring was a golden point you made. Damn!

[BlackAmish111]

Hey man 1st off you look great but i also understand you dont want to lose and if you can gain an even more ground as far as returning your hair -do it! im in similar boat as i had one procedure for 1200 couple years ago and theres no question the effect on the opposite sex is profound - im a 45 yo brother and still have young females checking me out at the gym tho im happily married -its still nice

 

Thing is, its starting to thin behind the hairline and if im not wearing Toppik, that Adonis vibe definetly drops a few levels -sometimes ALOT of levels, so Im also thinking of getting that thickened and maybe even lowering the hairline a bit cause I have a FiveHead. My wife was tepid but ok with 1st procedure but financially would have a fit if she found out i spent for a 2nd -so am considering a ninja move...

 

Anyways, my advice would be to not say anything. If she finds out, just flippantly say "oh yeah, had a lil procedure done to thicken my hair" -like its no big deal. Girls thrive on confidence and yes it will even work if you get busted. Offering it up really has little value in my opinion but if you do, do it in the same manner as if you never gave it a second thought.

 

good luck!

[Paulygon]

Hey man 1st off you look great but i also understand you dont want to lose and if you can gain an even more ground as far as returning your hair -do it! im in similar boat as i had one procedure for 1200 couple years ago and theres no question the effect on the opposite sex is profound - im a 45 yo brother and still have young females checking me out at the gym tho im happily married -its still nice

 

Thing is, its starting to thin behind the hairline and if im not wearing Toppik, that Adonis vibe definetly drops a few levels -sometimes ALOT of levels, so Im also thinking of getting that thickened and maybe even lowering the hairline a bit cause I have a FiveHead. My wife was tepid but ok with 1st procedure but financially would have a fit if she found out i spent for a 2nd -so am considering a ninja move...

 

Anyways, my advice would be to not say anything. If she finds out, just flippantly say "oh yeah, had a lil procedure done to thicken my hair" -like its no big deal. Girls thrive on confidence and yes it will even work if you get busted. Offering it up really has little value in my opinion but if you do, do it in the same manner as if you never gave it a second thought.

 

good luck!

 

Excellent point of view. Thanks!

[esrec]

If its a newer relationship completely understand not wanting to share. Its more about business as usual / no need to explain something so deep rooted.

 

If a longer relationship, youre gonna go through a lot of stuff in life much more difficult than this, so its a good test.

 

I'd probably not saying anything, but have a casual story ready to go. If you make it a big deal, it becomes one.

 

Whether it be you "know the doctor" so "why not", or "this cool new technology", or "yeah was kinda bothering me..had the $ no big deal".... you're not lying or masking truth so much as making it less of a headline in your life.

[SatyamHair]

Family is a little bit easier to hide from, as you choose how often you see them.

[pkipling]

What's up man! I understand wanting to keep it a secret from family and friends and think that's a perfectly viable option. And while I understand that it can be uncomfortable to talk to a girlfriend about it, I personally don't think that's something you should try to hide from her even if it was plausible. We spend our entire lives running from uncomfortable feelings, and while it's easier that way and I'm sure many guys will recommend trying to keep it a secret if you can, I'm here to say that I don't you think you should keep it a secret - even if you could.

 

First off, being in a relationship doesn't give you the luxury of only sharing the happy, fun, carefree stuff with the other person. That's what casual dating is for. But once you're in a committed relationship with someone and have somewhat of a future together in mind, you have to accept that with that comes experiences and situations that aren't going to be rainbows and roses all the time. I completely acknowledge that speaking to her about it is going to be uncomfortable. It might even suck in the moment. I get that you don't wanna do it and your life would be so much easier if you didn't have to be vulnerable and open up to her about it and risk being rejected... But none of that means you should run from it and avoid it. In fact, I would even say that those are reasons you should actually tell her.

 

In all honesty, even the worst possible outcome won't kill you. I don't say that to diminish what you're feeling, but as a reminder (to all of us, myself included) that even when the most stressful, uncomfortable situation arises, we make it through. We survive. We live to tell about it. And those experiences are part of what help us grow and evolve into that next version of ourselves.

 

From where I sit, here are your possible outcomes (somewhat simplified, but the point remains the same):

 

1) She completely rejects you and thinks you're a total loser and can't believe how shallow you are for getting a hair transplant. I mean, how dare you lose your hair and then have the gall to go and do something about it. What a prick you are. She leaves. She badmouths you. She tells everyone your dirty little secret. You're extremely embarrassed. (*If this is even a possibility in your mind, WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS GIRL?!?)

 

2) She's completely indifferent. She brushes it aside, thinks it's kinda cool, will have some questions and offer to be there to help. She won't think any better or any worse of you and life will continue just as it is. Nothing will really change because of it. The relationship might last, it might not - but it probably won't have anything directly to do with the hair transplant.

 

3) She is so appreciative of the fact that you decided to trust her and tell her this that she wants nothing more than to love and support you. She understands how stressful this was for you to tell her, and she wants to make sure you know that she doesn't think any less of you... In fact, she's impressed with how you're taking control of a situation that you don't like and making decisions to make yourself happier. You'll grow even closer through it, she'll offer to pick you up from surgery, she'll help take care of you after it's all over and be your own personal nurse. You'll be closer than ever before.

 

Now. Which of these seem more likely? From what I know of the human experience and human beings in general, number 1 seems very unlikely to me - and that's probably the one you fear the most. That's the one that seems most real until we write it out like I just did and we realize that it's probably the most absurd outcome possible. And if this is the way she reacts??? Then thank God you're learning this now and not a year down the road.

 

It's my best guess that it will most likely fall somewhere between 2 and 3, but her response really isn't the concern here. We can't control what the other person does or thinks or says. What you really need to focus on is why it makes you so uncomfortable to talk to her about it. What is it you're most afraid of? Why don't you want to open up to her? What's the worst that can happen? And even if that actually happens, won't you be here to talk about it and be better off in the long run?

 

We talk about how restoring our hair gives us back the confidence we had before we lost our hair... That if we only had our hair back, we wouldn't be so insecure. But our insecurities go so much deeper than hair loss. If we really wanna become more confident versions of ourself, we really have to look deep within (beyond the status of our hair) and realize our worth. If we don't do that, the hair transplants are just little bandaids we put on our egos to make ourselves feel temporarily better. So step into your confidence and the value of who you are as a man, a human being, a boyfriend, etc. and don't let fear get in the way of your growth. (Speaking to myself as much here as to anyone else. )

 

My apologies for the rambling rant.

 

Best of luck whatever you decide to do buddy. :cool:

[Paulygon]

update: I did tell her I'm planning on doing an HT procedure this month. She brushed it off as if it was of little importance to her but mentioned that she thinks its a bad idea because I don't need it as my bald area can be concealed with Toppik and creative styling, like strategic combover (she is a hairstylist).

Her having cut my hair, perhaps she has sensed that I've had work done but she's never mentioned it to me outright. When I said I'm going for a HT procedure this month, she didn't make any big deal about it or tell me anything like "so you had one already?".

Anyway, point is, it was a much bigger deal in my mind than actually telling her turned out to be.

 

My gf and I decided to take a 2 week break right now due to relationship issues. Conveniently, my HT#2 falls within the same time as our "break." It'll be fun to see her again after my HT#2 because in my experience, the first 10 days after the transplant, those new hairs are still there, filling in the bald spot. That 10 days period gives a good preview of what 6-9 months down the line could look like. <Do you agree?>

 

For now I am back into my weight lifting regimen so I can be strong for surgery. Hopefully the surgery will be successful, as I have complete confidence in Dr. Mohebi based on the results of his first procedure on me years ago.. only 11 days to go for HT #2 !!

[Stublue]

That's great Pauly. Fair play to your girlfriend too! I decided against telling my new girlfriend even though I'm sure she would have been cool with it. Her friend (who I've met a few times) is a fellow doctor and he works in a hair restoration clinic in Dublin one day a week so she has heard all about HTs and doesn't have a problem with them. I just didn't want to tell her if I dont have to. By the way the Dublin clinic has a great rep but is way too expensive! Just as well as I may have bumped into her friend there (awkward!).

 

Anyway, I had my small op last week (850 grafts) with Dr. Bisanga.. All went well and thankfully I didn't have to shave the recipient area. I was back in work this week after 7 days and nobody batted an eyelid. Even my housemate didn't notice anything and he saw me 3 days post op. Keeping the recipient unshaved makes recovery so much easier!! My girlfriend has been away but will be meeting up with her tomo but I'm pretty sure she won't notice anything except a slightly shorter haircut at the sides than usual. Barring any shock loss in the donor I think my secret Ht has been a success. I realise I should tell her but as I said earlier it's a new relationship and i wanted to keep it to myself. If all goes well in the relationship I will more than likely tell her in the future.

[pkipling]

Anyway, point is, it was a much bigger deal in my mind than actually telling her turned out to be.

 

Isn't it amazing how often this is the case? We create these full on dramas in our heads, and the reality very rarely even comes close to being as horrific as we imagined it would be. Glad to hear you decided to talk to her about it - and survived to give us a full report. :cool:

 

I really can't believe you're less than two weeks out from your procedure though. Time flies. Best of luck!