Are we shallow? I don't think so!

[Flavio]

I'm sick and tired of hearing that baldness is fine and we should accept it and do nothing about it because it's natural and pharmaceutical companies shouldn't spend so much money on research in this area and blah blah blah.

 

Hair loss is a condition that drastically affects a person's self esteem and quality of life. It causes stress, depression and anxiety. Suicidal thoughts are not uncommon. Only the hirsute find baldness funny - for those who suffer from it, it's no laughing matter.

 

So, no, I don't think it's immoral that billions and billions are spent in this research (these findings will be valuable for the treatment of other conditions, e.g. skin cancer) and yes, I sincerely hope that pharmaceutical companies keep investing their money and come up with a cure.

[GTDL]

I couldn't agree more with you Flavio. As the naysayers seldom suffer from it themselves so it's easy for them to dismiss it as vain to want to restore it. They only see it from the aesthetic point of view, and not the emotional affect it can have on a persons self esteem and ultimately their life in general.

[its752]

Flavio, I also don't find it immoral to spend the amount that's being spent on a hair loss cure even if in the research process they don't find a cure for cancer cuz the researchers are busy doing that anyways. Tell whomever says "it's natural" about balding that so is bad eyesight and appendicitis and vomit and cancer. Maybe we should just let that go too. Aesthetics and beauty are at the very top of my list for getting up in the morning and add so much to living so continue improving and striving toward your hair loss goals!

[Pk-hair]

I agree with you Flavio, all kinds of no good thoughts in your head. Lets just hope that they don't give up on us and that they find it soon before we have grand kids. I still want to get compliments til the day I die. My father has good genes,so he always looks 20 years younger and he is 80 with still hair. Thats sad for me!!

[Marvin]

I wouldn't worry about it. The free market will create incentives for companies to study baldness treatments. Powerful ones.

 

The thing stopping a cure is scientific difficulty, not people thinking it is immoral.

[Stimpson]

I wouldn't worry about it. The free market will create incentives for companies to study baldness treatments. Powerful ones.

 

Thank you. We are not a socialist state (yet). Companies are free to pursue profit, as that is *precisely* what companies do. There is potentially huge profit to be had here. That in itself is justification. It's sad when this has to be stated out loud. Once upon a time this was common sense. Plus, just because money goes to baldness treatment does NOT mean money is NOT going to other things as well.

 

Stimpy

[MrJobi]

We have had many posts to the subject and in my opinion, we live in a vain world. Take a look at the shampoo, makeup, or hygene section of any drug store. Looking youthful & good is very important to people. I think as long as you don't get obsessed with it, this is a natural repsonse to society

[Sparky]

Hairloss clearly isnt what was meant to happen to male humans. We were the main hunter gatherers, so we needed hair to protect our heads. It doesnt seem like enough time has passed for evolution to determine that we dont need hair anymore.

[Alexi]

Hi Flavio, I think market forces are such that pharmaceutical companies who find a solution for hair loss would be like finding every goldmine in the world simultaneously, it just seems like a hard problem to crack.

 

Interestingly enough there is also a good argument on health grounds to find a cure because bald men suffer more heart attacks.

 

As for self esteem, wow....the number of entries on forums from men who just feel terrible about themselves because of hair loss is incredible. Yet there are also men around who don't care, or have much more important things in their life to consider.

 

Feeling good about yourself regardless of your hair loss is important. You are all you have got, so you might as well try to think good things about yourself, hating yourself is going into self-destruct mode. I like this article about feeling good about yourself which is well worth reading http://www.prohairbiosystems.c...od-And-Feeling-Good/

 

The men who don't care about hair loss are often in a stable relationship with a partner who likes/loves them and the hair loss is just part of getting old. Other men are quite powerful, wealthy or influential or others just have a good opinion of themselves regardless. Let's face it if you had a nasty disease, say pneumonia, and you were talking to a doctor about a treatment, you wouldn't care less whether he was bald or not!!!

 

The person who cares most about being bald is you, surprisingly most other people just accept you for what you are.

[thanatopsis_awry]

Good thread, these questions are always interesting.

 

If someone is 50 yrs old, and feels existentially ruined because he doesn't have a NW1 hairline, and feels it's a virtual "right" that he get his hair fully restored, is it shallow? I still don't think so in and of itself, but there is certainly a different dynamic in play than for a 20 yr NW5 who feels the dire need, compulsion, and deserving of restored hair.

 

At the same time, "20 yr old NW5s" exist who simply move on from the issue with relative ease; does this make the other 20yr NW5 shallow, or have a degree of shallow that the former doesnt possess.

 

Ultimately, I believe MPB is intimately connected to one's virility, masculinity, and thus the very existence of a modern man. From this, I don't believe any hairloss sufferer is "shallow" in and of itself for wanting their hair restored.

[drmstx]

Ultimately, I believe MPB is intimately connected to one's virility, masculinity, and thus the very existence of a modern man.

 

Are you talking from a physiological point of view or just about social perceptions?

[ned]

Flavio,

 

Is there a particular article you have read that has prompted you to write this? (just interested)

 

One story that still amazes me is when I visited my family doctor when I was 21...I made an appointment with my doctor, very very depressed and misserable. I told her was there any medication to stop me losing my hair and her answer was "This happens to most men, and she then went on to tell me that I should just except it, her son went bald very young and he didnt have a problem meeting girls" .......

 

I left feeling even worse...AND THIS WAS MY F%*kING DOCTOR!!

 

so yes, I agree, the psychological impact of hair loss is totally misunderstood by many!!

[EpilepticSceptic]

I both agree and disagree, because this is ultimately an issue that has to do with collective psychology of our particular culture. In itself, hair is absolutely meaningless in today's world. It serves no other functional purpose but to protect our heads from the sun, and one can simply wear a hat for that.

 

But the problem is that everyone is psychologically conditioned to perceive having hair as making someone more attractive. It's basically the same type of conditioning as prejudice in believing that one race is superior to the other, or one skin color makes one superior or inferior. What is "attractive" anyway ? The entire concept is exclusively based upon conditioning that occurs in childhood. If people were allowed upon their own from childhood to decide for themselves what they found attractive, then there would NOT be such a broad consensus that hair makes one more attractive.

 

So it's our society that places the emphasis on hair, and this is the only reason we feel any emotions about whatsoever. When a young guy loses his hair he becomes acutely aware that the particular type of women he has been conditioned to be attracted to are no longer in his league, cosmetically speaking. So he has been brainwashed from birth to perceive a specific type of woman as attractive, and now this just so happens to be the type of woman who will perceive his hairloss as something unattractive. It's basically a well set trap that our particular society is quite god at setting for us.

 

I have a friend who since losing most of his hair has worked on reconditioning his mind to find obese women sexy and attractive. All of his girlfriends now are over 300lbs, and he won;t even bother looking at any other options. Some would say he is demented, but I actually feel he is seeking out his happiness in life and not letting our fake society destroy his self esteem. So he's learning to like really fat girls and he's having a great time in the process.

 

For all you balding guys out there, the simplest solution to all of this (and that costs nothing) is to just start looking at really fat girls and convincing yourself that they are indeed attractive. It really is that simple !!

[dabuski]

What could possibly be wrong with a procedure that,as long as it is carried out correctly, enriches ones life both from a physical and an emotional stand.

The end result is a happier individual who would live a far richer life.

People come in all shapes and sizes it is true.

Some people don,t bat an eye lid about weight issues or hairloss and are quite happy in their own skin.

Others though do perceive it as a problem and are unhappy because of it.

I say more power to them for wanting to solve the problem.

Lifes to short as they say.

[charlie_08]

Posted February 20, 2010 05:49 PM Hide Post

I both agree and disagree, because this is ultimately an issue that has to do with collective psychology of our particular culture. In itself, hair is absolutely meaningless in today's world. It serves no other functional purpose but to protect our heads from the sun, and one can simply wear a hat for that.

 

But the problem is that everyone is psychologically conditioned to perceive having hair as making someone more attractive. It's basically the same type of conditioning as prejudice in believing that one race is superior to the other, or one skin color makes one superior or inferior. What is "attractive" anyway ? The entire concept is exclusively based upon conditioning that occurs in childhood. If people were allowed upon their own from childhood to decide for themselves what they found attractive, then there would NOT be such a broad consensus that hair makes one more attractive.

 

So it's our society that places the emphasis on hair, and this is the only reason we feel any emotions about whatsoever. When a young guy loses his hair he becomes acutely aware that the particular type of women he has been conditioned to be attracted to are no longer in his league, cosmetically speaking. So he has been brainwashed from birth to perceive a specific type of woman as attractive, and now this just so happens to be the type of woman who will perceive his hairloss as something unattractive. It's basically a well set trap that our particular society is quite god at setting for us.

 

I have a friend who since losing most of his hair has worked on reconditioning his mind to find obese women sexy and attractive. All of his girlfriends now are over 300lbs, and he won;t even bother looking at any other options. Some would say he is demented, but I actually feel he is seeking out his happiness in life and not letting our fake society destroy his self esteem. So he's learning to like really fat girls and he's having a great time in the process.

 

For all you balding guys out there, the simplest solution to all of this (and that costs nothing) is to just start looking at really fat girls and convincing yourself that they are indeed attractive. It really is that simple !!

 

Well said agree with most of what you said

Im not sure I could ever find fat women attractive..having said that ..thats all I seem to be f**king these days haha

[EpilepticSceptic]

Originally posted by charlie_08:

 

Well said agree with most of what you said

Im not sure I could ever find fat women attractive..having said that ..thats all I seem to be f**king these days haha

 

 

You just have to TRAIN your mind to find them attractive. Ya know, the Jedi mind trick on your own brain !! LOL

 

Hey that gives me an idea for an MPB cure. Somebody needs to make a pill that causes the brain to perceive fat women as skinny women. That would be it, and we could all just finally forget about this crap !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[youngsuccess]

Guys,

 

I think balding men definitely start to recognize the double standard that applies when openly mocking hair loss sufferers (a condition largely out of their control) seems socially acceptable, but publicly poking fun at people with weight issues (which arguably can be corrected with diet and exercise) is a big "no no".

 

But since this is an "emotional support" sub-forum for people who know what it's like dealing with a sometimes debilitating insecurity, I think it's important to remain tactful and not target others who may have different self-image issues.

 

Best,

 

Anthony (youngsuccess)

[MikeyJ]

Absolutely not!

 

There are many reasons why I opted to finally get a HT -- however, someone else put it into perspective for me. A female coworker said to me "women get plastic surgery all the time... a man getting a HT is very similar and you shouldn't feel guilty or shallow for doing so".

[Guest brent]

Nothing shallow at all....

We arent trying to perfect something, we are just trying to get BACK something weve lost..

And there was nothing we could have done to stop it...

[Chris in Seattle]

You're so right, Flavio! Sure the bald or shaved look might look good on some guys, but only if it fits them well. That's not for me, and I just got a great HT 5 days ago from Dr. Gabel. I am ecstatic that I made the decision. But my friends, though supportive, don't seem to understand. "You don't need that", they'd say. But I was never able to accept my hairloss, it was an obsession every single minute of the day and there's nothing worse than being DESCRIBED by your hairloss. For example "Do you know Chris?" "...Oh yeah, the balding guy down the hall, right?!" So no one can tell me that it makes no difference.

[OtherSyde]

You're so right, Flavio! Sure the bald or shaved look might look good on some guys, but only if it fits them well. That's not for me, and I just got a great HT 5 days ago from Dr. Gabel. I am ecstatic that I made the decision. But my friends, though supportive, don't seem to understand. "You don't need that", they'd say. But I was never able to accept my hairloss, it was an obsession every single minute of the day and there's nothing worse than being DESCRIBED by your hairloss. For example "Do you know Chris?" "...Oh yeah, the balding guy down the hall, right?!" So no one can tell me that it makes no difference.

 

Could not possibly ring more true. This is pretty much my exact stance.

[ziggy00]

I definitely don't think we're shallow. If something is affecting your self confidence and inhibiting your life, then it's not shallow at all to do something about it.

[rws]

Just to add my two cents, I don't think we're shallow at all - after all, the people who say 'don't worry about your hair loss, it's fine!' are usually not balding.

 

People wear make-up regularly to perfect and correct their looks, and have minor procedures to remove moles, lessen wrinkles and such like - to me, tending to your hair in the same way is no different. You should try to make the best of what you've got to look good, and for us that means working on our hair.

 

Good thread by the way, I know I've pondered this question a lot in the past - are we vain etc.... Truth is, all human beings are vain to an extent - we all want to look attractive and be popular. So if there's anything shallow about it - then it's not worth worrying about as it's completely natural to be so

[Speegs]

In my opinion we kid ourselves if we don't honestly attribute personal vanity to being a partial inspiration to get hair restoration, at the same time however it is equally vain to assume that undergoing a restoration is beneath you, a catch 22 in the vanity department.

 

Hair or no hair you are vain.

[boloheadboy]

All I gotta say is, if women can get boob jobs to boost their self-esteem, why can't men restore their hair to do the same?