Who knows about your HT?

[kman]

As far as I know, the only people who know about my HT are my wife and my physician(who refills my propecia scrip), plus Rahal and his team, of course. Ok, Visa would too and my bank...possibly the government...but I digress.

Anyway, just curious about how secretive some of you have been with friends, family, etc about this. Obviously going from NW5 or 6 to hairy is hard to hide but In my case I was a diffuse thinner and could hide the hairloss until just recently.

I keep thinking one of these days I'll "come clean" as several of my balding friends may get intrigued and decide to "go for it" themselves. I'm sure most people still think of "doll's hair" or "plugs" when they think of HT's...and it's a shame as there is help for most balding people now. For now though, I'm keeping it private.

[youngsuccess]

Nobody knows except for my parents, both of whom were involved in one way or the other (filling the Rx for me, driving, etc.) I was a NW2 who wore shaggy bangs in the front, so it was very easy to hide, before and after the hairline work. My girlfriend of almost five years doesn't even know. I most likely will tell her at some point, but I too will keep it private from mostly everyone else.

[thanatopsis_awry]

Young-s, good to see you around.

 

Anyways...my parents both know....and two friends -- one of whom actually was able to decipher I was going in for it (mainly because he himself had had a HT), and another I told because the nature of our relationship required a high degree of transparency. Plus, it felt good telling some trustworthy people and made the recovery period a lot more enjoyable.

 

EDIT -- depending upon how things progress the next ~6months I may or may not be even more open about the HT. It has been such a positive; though, I figure I will always be rather secretive about it due to the stigmas associated with it.

[Smoothy]

If you got a good surgeon with good results nobody will know unless you tell them.

Most just wife and surgeon know as surgeon usually prescribes propecia Rx for patients.

 

SMOOTHY

Dr Shapiro

Propecia/Rogaine xtra

MSM/Saw Pallmetto/Zinc

Nioxin Shampoo line

Zrii 3oz a day

[youngsuccess]

Originally posted by thanatopsis_awry:

Young-s, good to see you around.

 

Thanks, yo.

[Dewayne]

At 25 when I had my first transplant, I told my closest buddies as I wasn't yet married. However, that was a mistake because one of them brings it up now in front of people 17 years later. Another guy told his own hairstylest, whom I knew, and she asked me about it one day. They've all told their wives.

 

So, my advice is don't tell anyone except your wife / parents, etc. UNLESS you don't care for them running their mouths. Let's face it, it's human nature to gossip, make others look bad, etc. The first time your best buddies wife says you are holding your age well, he'll blurt out to her and everyone that you've had a transplant.

[its752]

kman, I don't tell anyone about my HT cuz your really dealing with people in general who for one, don't really care, and secondly, do not understand hair transplantation and therefore are leaving yourself open to unnecessary ridicule. If I really thought someone was in need and looking for some answers, the best thing any of us could do would be to direct them to HTN and the rest would pretty much be history.

[kman]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm leaning towards not telling anyone besides those who already know, for now. I too think that if I confirm to anyone else that I had a HT, word WOULD get out. Secrets are like that. My closest buddies would tell their spouses and so on, and so on...until someone comes up to me and says "I heard you have plugs!". No thanks.

I'm sure some people suspect because of my thicker hair now and when my scar was visible(no longer visible), but suspicion is NOT proof. I can always say I'm taking propecia and blame the scar on something else. Any friend who seriously inquires about help, I will tell him to google for the "hair transplant network" and follow up with him afterwards. As long as I don't come out and admit to it I can still deny i had one...or i can choose to just smile, and leave them wondering.

Btw, when I had my first HT(NOT Rahal) I was in the middle of the procedure and the doc "name drops" another person in my local "industry" who he also did an HT for. I was startled to hear this but thought maybe this person had given the doc permission to reveal this. I knew this person though, and never suspected he had an HT, not even rumors about one. I wasn't going to call him up and ask, but now I wonder if this doc also told his patients about me. I realize that would be a major breach of ethics so I suspect he had permission and don't want to unfairly accuse him. Although, during procedures maybe he should not be name dropping unless he clarifies the guy said it's OK...so patients don't wonder. Just my own feelings on it.

[Bill - Seemiller]

You know it's funny. Most people may think that because I'm the Associate Publisher of this community that I would broadcast my hair transplant to the world.

 

In reality though, only a few people in my every day real life know.

 

Other than my wife and a few friends I told, a few others found out after one of my so called close friends decided to gossip about it. But that's another story. Let's just say that even those who claim to be close aren't always as loyal as you'd expect. Truthfully though, the fact that a few others (actually more now) know, doesn't really bother me. It was the lack of loyalty from a so called friend that was astounding. Those who did find out were actually pretty amazed.

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

[FacelessMan]

Let's see...my family, and several friends. Dr. Feller has some inkling too, I think

 

Benjamin

[alwayswaiting1]

My immediate family knows as well as two close friends. I have closer friends that I did not tell for reasons I couldn't even tell you.

 

Bill, we should start another topic about supposedly loyal friends! How long did you know the jack ass? Did you forgive him? Trust is very hard if not impossible to be RE-given to someone. I know my friendship with one "close" individual will never be fully restored.

 

Oh well...life goes on!

[nm76]

Right now, only my mum and dad know that I am thinking about having one.

Well, them and my boss - need to get sufficient time off work, if I have one.

[Guest]

Question to all - if you've not told anyone about it other than family or the odd friend how did you get through the whole process without anyone finding out? Just wondering how people plan the op and recovery time?

 

Thanks.

[Bill - Seemiller]

Bill, we should start another topic about supposedly loyal friends! How long did you know the jack ass? Did you forgive him? Trust is very hard if not impossible to be RE-given to someone. I know my friendship with one "close" individual will never be fully restored.

 

Alwayswaiting,

 

Actually it was a female. And sadly, she was a supposed best friend for about 13 years before she decided to stop talking to me after a repeated argument we had. That was hurtful enough until I had learned that she told a gossip queen that works with my wife and this person told basically everyone in the office. After the initial shock of it, I really don't care too much that everyone at my wife's work knows. But it made for a difficult situation for my wife and on principle, I was very angry with this supposed female friend for betraying me like that.

 

Thanks for asking.

 

Bill

[kman]

Well, I just returned from my annual trip to Montreal where I saw friends who hadn't seen me since last year. We always have fun as a group but this year I was wondering if anyone would razz me on my hair. First off, i had a buzzcut, which I don't normally sport, plus there was no thinning like before my HT in March. I did get some razzing on the short hair and some joked if I was taking propecia but no one went beyond that. I really think HT's today are so undetectable that most people wouldn't assume you had one, even if you have more hair the next time they see you. Still, with all the goodnatured ribbing that went on, I was glad I decided to keep my HT a secret.

 

Hope you guys that went to the party in Mtl had fun! Wish I could have made it.

[Bill - Seemiller]

Kman,

 

I know you already had prior obligations, but I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to meet with you. Perhaps we can arrange another meet at some point and then you can make it to that one.

 

Glad you had a good time and that your hair transplant remained unspotted

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

[Guest]

Hi nm76 - you talked about telling your boss so you could get some time off work. If you eventually do choose a HT you'll have to post how your boss reacted? I've been thinking I'd have to take a career break or something?

[nm76]

To be honest, its probably easier for me to tell my boss - seeing as he too is losing his hair. He wants to do something about it and is considering an HT too - that is probably once I've had mine.

Do bear in mind, I still have some native hair and will probably not be shaving my scalp for the HT.

[Al - Moderator]

Well mine is just so obvious that pretty much anyone who meets me knows I've had one. You guys are lucky if you can get away without anyone noticing.

[wantscrewcutafterHT]

I dont have one yet, but plan to get an HT, and this is also a concern of mine. But what really gets me is that the same people who will give you crap about it will also razz you about going bald. That and the fact that just about every other cosmetic procedure is now entirely socially aceptable.. frustrating.

[imissthebarber]

I have a HT booked in a couple of months time and I have been thinking quite a lot about this and how to explain to people I am not going to be around for a few weeks. Is there anyone who has been open about their HT and is glad that people know? I'm currently NW5 and I have a hard time thinking people won't notice, although like someone else said they may think it is due to meds?

[Stimpson]

IMO, if you can tell NOBODY about it, that is the best way to go. Unless you just do not care. The unfortunate reality is that people who mean well can even sometimes just have no tact. Example, years ago i had some Bosley work. Like many I made this mistake. But, it was okay at first, because it was well behind the hair line. My parents knew. That was okay, right?

 

Wrong!!!

 

I was at a family gathering. Specifically, my grandfather was in the hospital and we had all shown up from various cities in the state to visit (myself, aunts, cousins, grandmother, etc.). I happened at the time to reside in the city where the hospital was, and I showed up after work. Everybody else was already there. I enter the hospital room, and immediatly one of my tactless aunts starts saying "oh it looks so good" and reaching for my hair and crap. RIGHT in front of EVERYBODY. Although she meant well, I think I actually recoiled. It was like a punch. I was just stunned and completely speechless. I had been betrayed by my own parents, who I had SPECIFICALLY asked not to tell anybody!!! But what could i really say, being in a hospital room and all. I was *SO* unbelievabely pissed, and still 12 years later I do not dwell on it because the anger remains rather strong.

 

I have since had the Bosley situation covered (again, though, at the time of this incident it did not look bad). The repair work has been in two stages, so there has never really been a bold new head of hair that stands out. Plus, I always wore a hat alot anyway. Plus, i have since moved WAY too many times, completely changing the crowd ( I feel like some modern version of a drifter, only with money).

 

 

My vote, though, unless you want EVERYBODY to know, don't tell ANYBODY. Exception - I guess if you are married, you should tell your wife. I actually remember reading posts about a year ago from a very scared man who was trying to hide his HT from his wife. Mind you, not previous work from before he was married (which would be acceptable to hide), but he was GETTING an HT and trying to hide it from his wife. I do not generally laugh at the trials of my fellow baldies, but I remember chuckling at that one. I wonder what ever happened to that guy?

 

Thanks. Stimpy

[Nirbain]

Originally posted by Whattodo?:

Question to all - if you've not told anyone about it other than family or the odd friend how did you get through the whole process without anyone finding out? Just wondering how people plan the op and recovery time?

 

Thanks.

 

I was also wondering this. Anyone?

[blowdry]

Do not tell anyone and here is why. I go to my friends house who I haven't seen in a while and he says "you need a hair cut...LOL. After dinner my friends wife says her brother called and said he was getting a transplant. So word spreads to other people. I held my tongue and didn't say anything, my friend says he has a little spot thats thinning and his wife has some thinning as well. People talk, so if you want it to be a secret to most, tell none.

[Stimpson]

If you want to hide it, all you can do is either drop off of the earth for a while, or wear a hat. If you do the hat, start wearing it BEFORE the transplant so that nobody is suspicious when you wear the hat AFTER the transplant.

 

Blowdry - yes, friends tell spouses, who in turn tell friends, and so on...

 

Again, if you do not want EVERYBODY to know, then don't tell ANYBODY!!

 

Stimpson