Depression attack again

[Sam23]

Hello

 

I m writing a dark thread again, as it might help me a little bit

 

I m totally depressed again, my emotions are so ruined and i cannot accept myself anymore i really hurt my work today as i do not care about anything anymore, i should have an exam before end of octobor and i cannot focus anymore, i stop the gym cuz i m afraid from sweat and infection i have changed totally after my HT two months ago, i start alway thinking endlessly what i have did to myself, i distort my appearance forever and ruin my head

 

i become so neglected and isolated i feel i m stuck in a situation without any solution even in future, and the hair that will grow it will look ugly not my hair as it will be thick and kinky even my hair is soft brown, i will not have the same old look again as i will have a different hair, it will look thin like doll hair, everyone will say that a hair transplant and it looks ugly and It is all fake, my skin is become so harsh and tough and red my hair from back is sooo thin it is like a huge shock loss, it seems 3650 grafts was so big for me and how the surgent agree to extract all of those grafts, i do not know

 

I saw myself too bald, i was thinking and i need a lot of hair to cover my baldness i hurt myself by this surgery and i have to live with it all my life whether it is good or not and this is the hardest part that i did somthing icannot cancel it or remove it

 

I was blind to believe this is will work and it is only one time hit. And now i put myself in a situation to fix and repair and hurt myslef more and more in the future in addition to more money spend and commitments for somthing should cost you nothing if you were bald

 

Now all what i want to come back normal, i want to undo everything,

 

Does the laser work? does the shaving work? i do not know, all what i have to know just wait to see some thin unatural hair that will cover some of my scalp and then my only option will be to fix anything occur in my surgery and cover other area with thin hair again. And in second surgery the same thing will happen and continue with scars and hurting myself more and more

 

Also this feeling that there is somthing on my head like weight and it consistent and stressfull are not desappear

 

I will keep loosing my hair definetly and the transplant hair will look uunatural, what i can do wht are my options and solutions? I m tired from people look and their words? I need an exit from this prison?

[romperstomper29]

Man I think u need to chill out big time. I seen ur pics and everything looked normal. You are 2 months post HT and have completely lost the plot. Surely you done your research before having this procedure. You have to wait it out for another few months to see the results. I can't tell whether u are very young or need a physche evaluation. You obviously had a totally different idea of the procedure you were having. Even the professional footballers/actors have all had to wait 6months to a year for their result yet you are displaying a very immature impatience. I don't mean to sound harsh but relax man you haven't lost a limb in a car crash or anything in 6months you will probably be delighted with ur result

[Sam23]

I hope you right only i need to know if something goes wrong what are the solution my mind keep jumping to that conclusion. I could not find any solution, its a stuck situation with a wall

 

If i have a good results that good but what about future loss, this hair will not disappear

If i have a bad resuls what are my options

 

Can i shave, can i laser them off.

 

The results is always the same whether now with bad results or in future with hair loss

[delancey]

Who is your Doctor Sam?

[Sam23]

His name is catagy suzgin, he is ishrs and eshrs from 2000 and dedicated to fue from that time using directed automated fue and neograft

 

I could not meet him after the surgery because he traveled to attend a meeting or workhop o think, so i m waiting him.

 

 

I thought the whole process is easy and it is just hair nothing major, and to be honest from time of process (as they told me it is not consider even a surgery)till now i did not feel any pain, But the discomfort feeling is always there,

 

I read the horror stories on the interent and see some people after surgery try desperatly to remove the transplant hair without succsess, i read about screams and shit happen to the people because this surgery and many complication that they had later. All of those things make me feel one of them and it seems i propably will, so i start looking for solutions regarding scars, pittinng, cobblstonnings, hair laser removal, anything like a backup plan so i can depend on it in the future.

 

I m totally lost now i cannot keep myself overthinking and analyzie my situation without any hope

Edited September 30, 2015 by Sam23

[Wwiizzkkiidd24]

Yeah i just had a look at your photos and you look to be on track. I would seriously chill and wait for the outcome. you might be pleasantly surprised with the amount hair you gained. you might even get hair greed haha.

 

do you mind me asking you what your graft breakdown was?

[Sam23]

Actually what i know that they all where 2 and 3 hairs ad they told me but the information is with the doctor so i m waiting him to see.

 

The clinic told me that they are using what they called a stem cell technique which is an FUE extraction from 0.8 to 0.6 punches but without extracting the whole follicle so they keep part of it there and that will give a chance to regeneration for some of hairs

 

However, i do not believe them anymore as i know after reading this is kind of marketing only

 

my donor area now is thin and i m afraid they extract many hairs, i upload a pic for my donor area

Edited September 30, 2015 by Sam23

[Wwiizzkkiidd24]

well he would of extracted singles for the hairline for sure maybe 1-2mm going up and across the hairline and then doubles and triples sprinkled behind to add density. more double and trebles the better I would find out it might make you feel a bit better.

 

Yeah you could upload a picture.

[Sam23]

Thanks

 

But what about any future hair loss

 

When i discuss this thing with them, they told me now you should focus on the frontal and bring good density then in the future you only need another surgery to cover what is possible even if you could not cover everything it will not be problem and you should alway avoid the crown as much as possible as it will take all the grafts and at the end it will not give the same cosmotic appearnace as the front

The surgery should always be a stand alone step for each part of scalp, and should not spreading everything entire your head , you should focus only on one part so do the front without returning to it in the future only maybe for some little enhancement if necssary but nothing major. And you should not go for less than 3000 for front and in my case we could extract 3500 and they told me this the maximum safest number and should not be exceeded in anyway and at time of surgery they extracted 3650,so how this number go up suddenly ?

 

 

When i told them in my case when i can have anotther surgery, they told me no less than 1 year untill everything is settled, we cannot judge for that now until we recheck you again after 6 or 10 months at least and meanwhile we will try to treat your hair with growth factor and vitamins and meds so your native hair will become thicker after 1 year

 

 

Now i saw a new hairline, i m not used to it from years maybe because i have not shaved before, and i think its not conservative at all and they should start from the middle not front to save what they can

 

And also the type of hair, will give m a new look or my old one? I do not know my hair is brown soft but in my donor area it seems it is darker and thicker and more coarser so i fo not know if it will give a dramatic change or not.

 

What i know is i m putting myself in shoes of someone who had a thin odd hair in the future and just wanna rid of all of it without any hope

Edited September 30, 2015 by Sam23

[Sam23]

Now i m looking to bald guys and see how they are relieved and accepting themselve as bald i wish now to be like them and be able to shave everything and release myself from this prison which i put myself in,

 

I need to foregive myself and accept what i did and my appearance should not define personalty. But i m still thinking this is a nightmare and i will wake up soon,

 

every time i think that what i did will stuck with me forever i freak out and panic

[delancey]

What level of Norwood pattern does your father have? Other family members? Also, did your surgeon talk to you about Propecia?

[Sam23]

Here the thing that i did not calculate

 

My families from two side are totally bald so i know i do not have any change now i m norwood 5 i guss my father still has hair on his crow from below and his rim hair still ok so i can say his norwood 6

 

My brother is so hairy and has full of hair and he is 25 and i doubt he will loss anything ontje future when i was at his age i was nw 2-3 it seems he took my share of hair i guess

 

Ad no doctor did not talk to me about anything, i just saw him at time of surgery as i already spoke with other people form the clinc and here is the mistake

But at time of surgery he had a chat with me and ask me if i need to ask about anything before we start and i was naive not educated and say nothing then he asked what i know about HT and i told him i know that you will execute FUE and you are a good surgernt that is it. when i remember that how i was fool like this i become so stressful now, why i did not discuss anything with him, then he draw the hairline it tooks him a while to do it and then he asked 3 people to check and when he finished he asked me if i accept it and i told him why it is not lower than that (at that time my hair was totally shave so i could not recognize myself) so i thought the hairline was low. How naive i was

 

He operates the whole surgery from extracting to punching with one of his team and open the receipient areas and then let the team put the folicels and he was checking each 15 minutes, the total time took sround 9 to 10 hours

 

Later i read about propecia and its side effect, and to be honest i will not treat my problem with bigger problem if i m so paranoid about HT imagin what will happen to me if i took those pills

[Sam23]

I took everything like i m going to barber, i was soo fool and i beat up myself everyday about this mistake

 

Maybe the only good thing in my story that the surgent might be good other than that it is huge mistake it will live with me till the last day of my life

[delancey]

At this point Sam, all you can do is wait, unfortunately. It looks like your donor zone is going through shock loss. If you are worried about it, perhaps you can seek out a skilled dermatologist or hair transplant surgeon in your region. Get a second professional opinion. That may stop you from worrying about it? Stay positive and active, eat healthy, and in a few months you can reevaluate.

 

Best of luck to you Sam.

[Sam23]

Thanks delnacey for your kind words

 

Usually the shock loss is it normal or it is overharversting? What do you think it can back normal again? And when do you think i can hit the gym again, the clinic told me it is ok but as the receipient area is red andcthe skin is irritated i m afraid the sweating will make an infection

[bablu]

Man have some faith and patience...Stop freaking out...only you can help yourself..even if you loose your native hair theres no need to panic..Start saving money...As and when you loose your native hair go to highest quality doctor ..make a plan thoroughly with him..Whatever will happen you can easily sort it out by ONLY going to top quality doctor..

[pkipling]

Hey Sam. Gonna try to give you a little tough love here. Please, please take a breathe, chill out, and relax. It is way way way too early to be freaking out. You need to do whatever you have to do to keep your mind from obsessing about this and going down these traumatic, harmful fantasies where you experience the worst case scenario as an actual reality.

 

I suffered from OCD for the majority of my life, and I had great success in therapy to help get my seemingly uncontrollable thoughts under control. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a fantastic tool in situations like yours, so check that out specifically. Whatever you choose, I do think professional help would be great for you. There is hope out there and solutions. You don't have to live in this negative state, I promise.

 

Also, google the therapist Byron Katie. She has a very practical, simple method to getting ourselves and our minds back to the present moment and simply focusing on what is and to keep our minds from going to these make believe places that we experience as reality - even though they're nothing but figments of our imagination.

 

I know how scary and out of control you must feel about this, but it's seriously not doing you any favors to think the thoughts you're thinking. If anything, this added stress you're bringing onto yourself may actually even be contributing even more to any shock loss you're experiencing. Stress has a real effect on our bodies, and you seem to be putting yours under a lot of it.

 

Please use this as an opportunity to really take a look at what you can do to proactively get your thoughts and obsessions under control. Your entire life and future will be the better for it.

 

Wishing you nothing but the best.

[Bill - Seemiller]

Sam,

 

Emotions are very powerful and often times a couple months after hair transplant surgery, patients can feel gloomy, sultry and downright depressed. You are not alone. Along with hundreds of other hair transplant patients regularly posting on this forum, I remember that feeling all too well. We look in the mirror feeling that we look worse than how we started out wondering if we've just made the biggest mistake of our lives.

 

But Sam, you are fine. It's only 2 months after surgery and you shouldn't see any growth yet. Patience is the hardest thing but it's the most important ingredient to your overall emotional well-being right now. If you have realistic expectations, 6 to 10 months from now you'll most likely be looking back wondering why you were so upset and thanking God that you have a nice new head of hair again.

 

I'm not familiar with your doctor, but for what it's worth, the work looks nice and clean as far as I can tell from your pictures.

 

So my advice to you is, hang in there, relax and before you know it, you'll be happily brushing your new lustrous locks! :-)

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

[Sam23]

Really many thanks for your support and words, i m better now, and little relax, it is the work pressure, i had to make a presentation in in front of many people and also with my traveling abroad, and study for my exam and discomfort feeling from the surgery, everything comes together who makes me more nerveous and try to blame myself as this was not a good idea at all it ruin my confidence and appearance instead of improve it

 

So now i m trying to focus on somthing else as much as possible

 

 

Really I m happy to be able to write here and find helpful supportive guys like you who already know what i m suffering from.

 

Much appreciated !!!

[iwokeuptoabaldpatch]

Sam ....a surgery where u take any kind of anasthesia is a major big deal on the body and mind

 

Google post surgery depression.

 

Anasthesia is a terrible thing

 

The remedy that few know of and these callous doctors dont mention......is vitamin b12.

 

Take vitamin b12 daily.

 

Your depression will go away god willing

[iwokeuptoabaldpatch]

But first u need to chill,relax and get a grip on some perspective.

 

I just looked at your pics.it looks like a clean ,densely packed job.i think your going to get a great result

[Sam23]

Thank you guys for support here

 

Again i m in the same cycle of depression even i m showing early growth i m now finished my third month

 

My problem now is when i saw my old pics i m shocked how much i was bald im totally bald and i should not start with this procedures ever. When i was looking in the mirror before the thining hair on my mid scalp makes me feel i still have hair cuz i was so busy in my life and i did not pay attention to that and when i made the decision of HT i was thinking i had thin hair only with big forehead so i made the decision

 

I m not get used to this stupid hairline because i was so bald and suddenly i have a hairline i feel like my head has shrinked a lot

I cannot look to the mirror anymore and i hate myself

 

Now i saw how much i m bald and even i m now understand people look when they saw me first day after 20 days of my surgery they did not believe this bald guy has did a dump think like this he was near to shave everything no to have an HT

 

Many freinds told me to razor everything and you would have a good looking with guoatee but i did not listen i was afraid to be bald and insecure even i m already bald

 

Now i cannot bear myself how stupid i m and idiot to think about it now i will not feel comfortable until i know if there is a way to reverse everything

 

My donor area is thin after extracting 3650 grafts and they have use it alll in front scalp at least they should raise the hairline more as i m bald not to give me a standard one alll of this happen because i was not educated and did not think about it and planned well

 

And allow to somone to define how i should look without knowing how i feel about it

They need only money and i m a vicitm for their commercial lies and my stupidity

 

The HT is not for someone bald like me, the transplant hair does not look like natural hair at least for me everyone maybe will see guy eith terrible hair but i will know that this is fake and i did something and it will not look like my old hair

 

Everyday i m checking my old pics and see i did not have like this hairline from more than 10 years and even it is not exactly the same so i have somthing totally new on my head i have to live with it the rest of my life and this is terrify me more

 

 

Can anyone tell me if laser can remove alll of these things i just want to shave everything and move on

 

I wish i did it before the surgery but i had the gut to have surgery and not to shave my head and when they shave my head really i like it and i found it very good i wish i stop it at that time i had a silent voice before the surgery said to me stop everything you still have time but i did not listen now i distort my head and my life with it

 

I cannot enjoy my life anymore going to the work became like nightmare for me everthing is being destroying before me and i m not care anymore about anything just i want to sleep and to not think about it when i wake up i remember the reality so i became more depressed and everyday the same story

 

This is the stupid thing i ever did in my life, it distroyed everything,

 

I just want to remove it alll i do not want hair anymore i envy the bald people now for their peace of mind and how they accept the nature and did not interfere with it

 

Even when i m talking to bald guy i become annoyed and feel insecure and i cannot look to his head thinking like i will be like him someday with ugly hair in front, i cannot concentrate anymore

 

I cannot forgive myself

Edited November 6, 2015 by Sam23

[iwokeuptoabaldpatch]

Sam your hysterical and have lost a grip on reality and given in to the negative fantasies when u posted this.

 

Reread bill and the previous gentlemans poats that helped to regain a grip last time.

 

Im sure u looked good before, and now ,and u will later too when u get more growth.

 

Just relax.

 

Its clear at times u get ocd and body dysmorphia and thats okay its not the reality u just got to reject those thoughts as nonsense and learn to think positively,in the monent and leave god to look after the future.

[Sam23]

Yes i have ocd i think now and all of that because think and think again i m trying to busy myself with new things but the thoughts are so powerfu now becasue i did not stop it from the beginning

 

Now when i see the bald guys are more handsome than the people with hairs and i wish to be bald and shave everything

 

this idea almost control most of my time i m trying to stop it, sometime i can and most of the time not

 

Really now i cannot stand before bald guys i feel i m not comfortable around them because i imagin myself a bald guy in the future with scars and fake hairline and i scare shit of myself when imagine myself like that and specially i know that in my family the baldness everywhere so if i have hair now after few years i will have this problem and i see a lot of threads about regretting from having HT because of that i did not think about that before the surgery and if i know that i never even think about having HT

 

I never focus on my hair in all my life an now this is idiot idea control my mind and feeling everyday

 

Sorry i m keeping posting but i m trying to find anther opinions might help and convience me

 

I wish to be bald now and i want to know there is a solution and i can laser it all if i want

[newbie33]

Sam, buddy, things look bleak to you now, but you know the Arabic saying: this too shall pass.

 

You don't fully know the outcome of your surgery and you don't know your future hairloss. There are some things, at least for now, you just have to give up to the Universe.

 

If you haven't yet, I think it would be a good idea to see a therapist and talk about all this with someone who will listen and be able to guide you through this difficult time.

 

You mentioned you'd stopped going to the gym. Try to go back when you feel up to it, or even if it's just a run around the block. Physical exercise can help with depression.

 

Also, if you can, it's a good idea to speak to friends and family and not to isolate yourself. I don't know if you have the equivalent of the Samaritans, but there are people out there who will just listen and who care for you.

 

Take care of yourself and go well.