Depression and Hair Loss

[PanamaJimmy]

It is no secret that hair loss can be a source of depression. Those of you lucky enough to experience normal depression and are not prone to clinical depression, will pass through this phase much like someone experiencing any other traumatic event in life. However, some of you might be prone to clinical depression, which is a genetic tendency, and hair loss may be the trigger that sets off this nasty malady. Or, perhaps you've experienced deep depression before. All depression can be serious, but anyone prone to clinical depression has an imbalance of chemicals in the brain related to seratonin and synapse receptors. Often, the only way to treat this is through prescription drugs. Just like medicine for diabetics or sufferers of high blood pressure, antidepressant drugs can correct the imbalance. Despite it being 2010, some still feel depression or taking antidepressants is a stigma. It is not.

 

I myself have been on a daily 150mg dose of Effexor for 12 years. Thank God I found it. I was lucky. I first had to recognize that I had a problem with depression, and then I needed the courage to face it and conquer it. Many, especially men, deny the problem altogether or buy into the fallacy that "only weak people" need drugs or help. Although there are many effective drugs for depression, finding the right one is more of an art than a science, but it can be done.

 

I have been through hell and back more than a few times in my life and would like to offer any help I can to any of you who are dealing with depression. Feel free to Private Message me if you'd like.

 

Also, it would be good to hear stories from others on this forum regarding depression.

 

Thinning, bald, or with a full head of hair, life is meant to be enjoyed! By sharing our collective experiences here and reaching out to others we can help sufferers at any level of depression, especially those suffering from deep, clinical depression.

 

Panama Jimmy

[Sparky]

I'm on Effexor 75mg, since Sept 2008, when suddenly out of the blue my less than par HT's made me really upset, my bad HT's were not pluggy really, I was able to brush my hair back etc without anyone noticing, they were just really badly angled. Recently I've cut my dose of Effexor down to 75mg every other day, but I cant seem to get it down any lower than that, otherwise I get the feeling of little electric shocks and feel dizzy. My doc says there arent any side effects when you come off them but thats not true, I will wait until my latest and hopefully last repair grows in and then I'm gonna try to get off them, because I dont want to be dependant on too many pills. Just taking proscar is enough for me, but add 2 msm's and a Effexor once a day is silly, I'm only 34 ffs!

[Bill - Seemiller]

Jim,

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on depression and how hair loss can exacerbate and even cause it in some individuals. I sometimes forget how difficult hair loss was for me now that I've come so far in my hair restoration journey. But I wouldn't go out without a hat, even to family functions. Frankly, I was ashamed of my baldness and truthfully, for no good reason. I just didn't like how I looked and it began to affect how I lived. Ironically, I never looked down on anyone else who experienced hair loss and even sometimes wished I could accept and wear it as gracefully as a select few others.

 

Everyone is distinctly wired and handles hair loss differently. But the vast majority have been through hard times. The rest haven't hit puberty I guess . But on a serious note, while we don't have control over everything in our lives, the ultimate goal is to prevent difficult times from breaking us and becoming stronger individuals as a result.

 

Anyone else who'd like to share how hair loss made them feel and what they've done about it is encouraged to post on this topic.

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

[PanamaJimmy]

Sparky,

 

75mg every other day is a pretty low dose, but everyone needs a different amount. I'm not sure I'd trust a shrink recommending this low of a dosage or an "every other day" regime. Most people need between 150-300mg daily using the XR pills.

I've found the best way to go off them is by lowering the dose every two weeks until you are done. It's tough to divide them up, but if you have the plastic shells filled with the little balls you can divide them up although it's incredibly tedious work. Try 60mg for two weeks, then 45mg, then 30, then 15, then you're done. This should prevent you from having any of those crazy electric shock things.

 

Good Luck!

 

Panama Jimmy

[TakingThePlunge]

I was a lot more concerned about my hair loss in my early to late twenties. By the time I hit my thirties I'd grown into my hairline and it was still thick enough that it looked pretty good. It wasn't until my mid to late thirties that disaster struck.

When it became apparent that my hair had become too thin to do anything with I started buzzing it down to about a #2 up top and decided that I'd better get used to being bald. I have a great friend who had already been shaving bald for years for the same reason and it looked great on him but I really didn't like the way I looked. I just couldn't reconcile the image I had of myself in my head with the cue ball in the mirror.

What made me feel the worst was that my dad hated the fact that I was buzzing my hair down. He wanted me to "grow it out." Evidently he wanted me to replicate the comb-over he's been sporting for the past four decades. My dad is 78 and he just doesn't get that the horseshoe ring around your head and combing your hair over is just not an option these days. In his mind, only Kojak and Yul Brynner can get away with being bald. He never missed an opportunity to ride me about my latest haircut or tell me how awful it looked on me and we got in many arguments about it. I tried explaining to him that I had no other options short of hair transplantation and that, in this day and age, shaving was the only possible option for balding men to have any hope of still looking cool but he wouldn't have any of it. If it weren't for his continued pestering I would probably have been more comfortable and I may not have pursued my HT. That is not to say that I have any regrets about choosing a transplant but I would have preferred to be comfortable in my own skin and save the money and down time.

Funny thing is that when I had long hair he used to bug me about that too! There’s no pleasing the man! After I got the first HT he kept commenting on the extreme cost. I told him that nothing is more cost effective than being born with quality genes.

I don’t want to pain my dad as a tyrant. He’s a great guy and very generous and supportive in every other way. We are really very close. This was just something he couldn’t understand and I guess he thought he was helping me somehow. Oh yeah, incidentally, he used to be a hairdresser!

[Sparky]

I didnt go to a shrink I went to my family doctor, and he prescribed 75mg daily, I managed to get it down to every other day by myself.

[Slaps]

If hairloss depresses you, a bad HT will leave you suicidal. Please, if you are thinking of a HT, pinch yourself if that doesnt wake you up, punch yourself! you're losing hair? why on Earth would you think that you won't lose more? of course you will!! IMO There is no happy ending to a HT, sooner or later you will look like a freak.

I believe that the majority of HT victims will either end up under a wig or under 6 feet of Earth.. many guys have committed suicide.

[TakingThePlunge]

Slaps,

 

I'm sorry to hear that you have such a negative take on hair transplantation. While I do agree that there are many people out there who have been disfigured by poorly trained or unscrupulous doctors, by choosing your doctor carefully and planning for the future, there is no reason why modern hair transplantation techniques should not result in aesthetically pleasing results for many years to come.

 

Those of us who have done our research know that we are playing a numbers game. Take my case for example. I have used a total of 4350 grafts to rebuild by frontal third with an estimated 3000 in reserve to address future loss. I believe my hair loss has been stabilized for the time being with medication but one day I will probably lose my crown. At the age of 41, I'm quite certain that my hair will look good until I'm at least in my early 50's. This is acceptable to me. At that point I may either need another procedure in my crown or perhaps there will be better options on the table.

 

I can't say I was depressed over hair loss but I definitely spent way too much time thinking about it. Now I don't think about it much at all. My first procedure garnered rave reviews from friends, family and my hairstylist. I have since gone back to lower the hairline and add density and I'm confident that I'll be thrilled when it all grows out.

 

There are many naysayers out there. Even many guys here will advise a new member to try shaving their head first to see if they like the look. Of course it's the easiest and cheapest way to go. More power to you if it works. It didn't work for me and I'm very happy with the decision I made.

 

All the best to you,

 

TTP

[SoccerBoy]

I just posted elsewhere how HTs SHOULD be covered by insurance. This is not just a cosmetic procedure for most men, but much more.

 

The depression caused by hair loss is similar to that caused by BDD (body dysmorphic disorder), and there's a huge stigma associated with it.

 

HTs were the only thing to alleviate my adolescent depression caused by severe hair loss.

[Sparky]

I've managed to get down to 32.5mg every other day now.

[seashanty]

Thanks for posting. I have had several bouts of severe depression ( extreme weight loss, lack of sleep, morbid thoughts). I am now accepting that I need to stay on medication and be grateful that it exists. I have just moved up to 225 of effexor. My doctor has been urging me too for ages saying I was taking too low a dosage. I was that reluctant. I now have to follow his advice ( he is a very caring psych).

I also know my worry about hair loss has dogged me since I was 19. Of course I don't say it carries all the blame, but when I look at what I have achieved ( good career and coming from very poor childhood) I think worries about going bald have been a constant feature. I am stupidly considering a system. I'm not suitable for a HT. The idea of shaving my top and then having a good system actually appeals very much. I will have to maintain it but given all the things I did that have now stopped working, it wont be that too disimilar. And I think it will be a relief to say to myself ' I have lost the fight against baldness. Now I will do my best to look good with a system'.

Finally, depression is an illness. Too many men take their lives. It's a hidden epidemic. Men's mental health should be a new movement in it's own right. Reach out! Don't let depression isolate you. We need the support of each other.

[mahhong]

Hair loss is a difficult one, especially combined with depression or people prone to depressive thoughts. Some people are able to accept hair loss as "one of those things", but not many people on these boards would count themselves in that company! Hair loss can run very deep psychologically and probably manifest itself as something almost like a body dysmorphic disorder or similar syndrome. I don't know the facts on the psychology of hairloss, but it related deeply to perception and our visual imagination of ourselves. We all walk around with a perception of what we want to look like and that changes how we feel. Hair loss robs many men of the ability to form a comfortable perception of themselves.

 

When I first noticed I was losing my hair it did hit me hard, though I am very fortunate that I am not prone to depression and wouldn't say I've been "depressed" about it. That having been said, a large part of my ability to deal with hair loss is based in the hope and belief I have options on the table when it comes to the right time; shaving down, HTs etc. I don't think the shaving down route would work for me (although I'd be happy to try it), but HTs are of course a potential option. If I wasn't suitable for a HT I don't think I'd necessarily become depressed, but I would feel unfairly robbed of my personal image and that does force you to change how you feel about and work with yourself.

 

It is a vicious circle though, in that feeling unattractive or undeserving makes you so. Most men who feel a victim to their hairloss are usually more mentally damaged than physically damaged. They beat themselves up, tell themselves they'll never be attractive or like they were, that they're getting old and are less masculine. That train of thought leads you to go out into the world without confidence or belief that you can achieve what you want and then, just as you feel, it happens to you.

 

Look at men like, for example, Jason Statham. Jason Statham is NW6/7 and not even a particularly good looking guy. But he IS sexy to women and confident to men, because he wears himself with pride. He works out and looks after himself and just shaves down and "gets on with it". If Jason Statham went the other way and put on 20 pounds and said to himself "you're a big bald failure", he'd be no more attractive than any other man on the street. There is nothing special about him save for the fact he feels special.

 

A book I recommend a lot of guys read is 'The Game' by Neil Strauss. Yes, it is ostensibly a book about how an ordinary, ugly-duckling guy becomes a pickup artist and beds loads of beautiful women using a well honed technique he learns, but, there are some deeper ideas in that book about what success is and how success is earned and strove for. Interestingly Neil Strauss is as bald as any man on here and he shaves down to the skin. Unlike Statham he doesn't even have the body! But the guy learnt that "picking up girls" is the same process as winning jobs or finding investment or toning your body - its about visualisation, belief, understanding and action. Fundamental to being who you want to be is working very hard at all areas of it. Hairloss does not destroy any chance you have of being a real man or a real success, but it can allow you to destroy it for yourself.

 

The book is fun and also recommends a bunch of other books on NLP and learning body language etc. I know a lot of guys dismiss the whole thing as "lifestyle nonsense" or just being about shallow things like sleeping with girls but there is a deeper message there, and certainly in the other books and ideas suggested.

 

In many ways hairloss can both cause depression and be just like depression. Depression is something you cannot stop from happening unless you research and take proactive steps. We all know now it's a real disease and so is MPB. But it's also the excuse a lot of men need to berate themselves into even more hopeless states. Most people beat their depression by working at it - it's not easy and it's not a switch you can flick whenever you want, but it is a disease you can work at successfully lifting from you.

 

So yeah, hairloss is bad news and we don't have all the answers for it yet, but there are things you can do both within and outside of the hairloss problem to improve life in general and make hairloss less of an overall problem. If you tell yourself a HT will cure all your problems then you're deluding yourself. Usually it cures one problem; confidence. And once that's cured everything else falls into place. But hair is not the only way to get confidence and learn self respect so I urge guys to think deeper about why their hair is important to them!

[blkblk]

I've certainly suffered from bad depression due to my hairloss (start getting comments about thinning at age 18, headed for NW6..).

 

Three tips which have helped me in the past are:

 

1) Go to the gym regularly. No, this isn't because then you will get a super hot body and girls will love you (although that side of it helps), but because regular exercise pushes endorphins through the body. These make you feel amazing. More details here:

Exercise and Depression: Endorphins, Reducing Stress, and More

 

2) Shave your head. There comes a point when hair can get thin enough or receded enough that it starts to look messy and gangly (such as mine). Buzz it down to #1/2/3 and it will instantly look neat and well kept. It is an almost instant several years off your appearance and is now considered sociably acceptable in even the most formal offices.

 

3) Be proud of yourself and get on with life. You've probably done some pretty cool things in life or achieved something special - be proud of that, focus on the good things. Hair is not really that important at the end of the day, don't let it take over your life.

[StaggerLee123]

I have been depressed before and all I can say is that us men tend to try to "tough it out" a lot longer than we ever should. For any of you feeling depressed I urge you to talk to your family doctor or get referred to someone that can give some objective advice.

 

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies when it comes to taking care of ourselves.

[MrJobi]

Hi all

 

I cannot say I am clinically depressed but no doubt my hairloss caused major anxiety and discontent in my life. I starting losing my hair at about 22 or so , in college ( supposed to be the time of your life). New hairstyles, hats and concealer and by the time I graduated I was using a considerable amount of concealer to hide it.

 

It always killed me when people would say "You are losing your hair." - No Sh!t, I would never say that to someone!

 

for over 15 years it was a battle with hiding my hairloss, transplants and the fact I was using conceale (yes: black pillow, towels and dirty bathrooms). In the big picture, not a big deal but it is all relative. All I wanted to do is to be "normal". Losing your hair at 22 certainly doesn't help your social life either.

 

Fast forward today ( at 40) I have beat it! I've had 4 HT's ( one little touch up last week) and I can honestly say it was the BEST money I spent. I really feel for men when I see them losing their hair and the various strategies they are employing to cover it or deal with it.. I'm so happy I don't have to deal with that and I often get the comment

 

"Yeah, but you are lucky, you have a great head of hair." -Llittle do they know!

 

I never forgot where I came from and hence, here I am to support others! You can beat or or deal with it but one must make a decision and then move forward!

Edited December 26, 2011 by MrJobi

[wb280]

Dude, u r one lucky ass. All the anxiety, black pillows, messed up washroom, u say it, i had it

 

U r already on the shore and i am still swimming, hoping to make it for the land one day

 

Wish me luck!

[MrJobi]

Thanks man.

 

You will make it! It's not luck (save, save, save).

 

Plan the work / work the plan!

 

It takes time and you have to be patient .. Don't give up .

 

The good news is that science is progressing! Do your research!

 

Be strong!

Jobi

[wb280]

when u mentioned save, u meant cash? Ok that aside, i just worry my hair loss is too aggressive and might outrun my donor supply

 

Anyway thanks for the kind words

[MrJobi]

Yes,

 

Save money. Also, get on Finasteride to hault the loss. I checked out your pics, you are on your way!!

[recedingboy]

I will admit that i am often in depression due to the loss.

 

I have not figured out specifically what it is about my hairloss that is causing the depression.

 

- is it that I feel that I would not be considered attractive/successful? My dad did not embrace his and wears a piece so I wonder if that in doing so it somehow signals to me that hairloss is not acceptable.

 

- is it that I feel that I am losing a part of my identity? Hair helps give character to people in my opinion. A lot of bald men of the same race don't look very different from one another, hair and the ability to style them allows one to express their individuality.

 

- is it because I am allowing myself to be weak and not move on (as many on here and other forums are)? Am I disappointed in my lack of inner strength?

 

I really do not know which of the above it is. I do think that men with stubble can be attractive (even the presence of stubble helps define a face imho. slick bald does not and is not attractive to me, sorry).

 

I am 34. How long will I continue to take systemic medications like finasteride? Every medication has side effects. I am thinking to just get an FUE procedure, with emphasis on coverage and preservation for future, and just keep a buzz cut for the rest of my life.

[Mihir]

Hair loss is a difficult one, especially combined with depression or people prone to depressive thoughts. Some people are able to accept hair loss as "one of those things", but not many people on these boards would count themselves in that company! Hair loss can run very deep psychologically and probably manifest itself as something almost like a body dysmorphic disorder or similar syndrome. I don't know the facts on the psychology of hairloss, but it related deeply to perception and our visual imagination of ourselves. We all walk around with a perception of what we want to look like and that changes how we feel. Hair loss robs many men of the ability to form a comfortable perception of themselves.

 

When I first noticed I was losing my hair it did hit me hard, though I am very fortunate that I am not prone to depression and wouldn't say I've been "depressed" about it. That having been said, a large part of my ability to deal with hair loss is based in the hope and belief I have options on the table when it comes to the right time; shaving down, HTs etc. I don't think the shaving down route would work for me (although I'd be happy to try it), but HTs are of course a potential option. If I wasn't suitable for a HT I don't think I'd necessarily become depressed, but I would feel unfairly robbed of my personal image and that does force you to change how you feel about and work with yourself.

 

It is a vicious circle though, in that feeling unattractive or undeserving makes you so. Most men who feel a victim to their hairloss are usually more mentally damaged than physically damaged. They beat themselves up, tell themselves they'll never be attractive or like they were, that they're getting old and are less masculine. That train of thought leads you to go out into the world without confidence or belief that you can achieve what you want and then, just as you feel, it happens to you.

 

Look at men like, for example, Jason Statham. Jason Statham is NW6/7 and not even a particularly good looking guy. But he IS sexy to women and confident to men, because he wears himself with pride. He works out and looks after himself and just shaves down and "gets on with it". If Jason Statham went the other way and put on 20 pounds and said to himself "you're a big bald failure", he'd be no more attractive than any other man on the street. There is nothing special about him save for the fact he feels special.

 

A book I recommend a lot of guys read is 'The Game' by Neil Strauss. Yes, it is ostensibly a book about how an ordinary, ugly-duckling guy becomes a pickup artist and beds loads of beautiful women using a well honed technique he learns, but, there are some deeper ideas in that book about what success is and how success is earned and strove for. Interestingly Neil Strauss is as bald as any man on here and he shaves down to the skin. Unlike Statham he doesn't even have the body! But the guy learnt that "picking up girls" is the same process as winning jobs or finding investment or toning your body - its about visualisation, belief, understanding and action. Fundamental to being who you want to be is working very hard at all areas of it. Hairloss does not destroy any chance you have of being a real man or a real success, but it can allow you to destroy it for yourself.

 

The book is fun and also recommends a bunch of other books on NLP and learning body language etc. I know a lot of guys dismiss the whole thing as "lifestyle nonsense" or just being about shallow things like sleeping with girls but there is a deeper message there, and certainly in the other books and ideas suggested.

 

In many ways hairloss can both cause depression and be just like depression. Depression is something you cannot stop from happening unless you research and take proactive steps. We all know now it's a real disease and so is MPB. But it's also the excuse a lot of men need to berate themselves into even more hopeless states. Most people beat their depression by working at it - it's not easy and it's not a switch you can flick whenever you want, but it is a disease you can work at successfully lifting from you.

 

So yeah, hairloss is bad news and we don't have all the answers for it yet, but there are things you can do both within and outside of the hairloss problem to improve life in general and make hairloss less of an overall problem. If you tell yourself a HT will cure all your problems then you're deluding yourself. Usually it cures one problem; confidence. And once that's cured everything else falls into place. But hair is not the only way to get confidence and learn self respect so I urge guys to think deeper about why their hair is important to them!

 

Hi Mahhong,

 

Your write-up was inspiring. In my case, when I had hair, I took my hair and body for granted and did not take care. My focus was my career and making money. I am still only 29 and am now suffering from grade VI baldness, but I feel younger than ever. I started working out a year ago and manage to turn far more female heads (than when I had hair). When we feel confident about ourselves, our face and body radiates that confidence. Even though I feel good about myself, I am still considering Hair Transplant as an option. With my new-found confidence and and good body, I might feel even better with a successful HT.

Edited December 29, 2011 by Mihir