3 days before HT surgery-admission of guilt

[walterpink]

So I have finally taken the decision to undergo HT surgery,quite nervous and excited but also feeling guilty that I am going to spend so much on something which is considered vanity (I earn enough to afford it ),is this normal?how have other members felt before taking the plunge?

[pkipling]

First off, congratulations on taking the plunge and I wish you the best results and success with it. Please make sure to share your photos and updates here. Who is doing your procedure?

 

As for the guilt, I don't see a lot of posts regarding this, although I'm sure other people have dealt with it in one way or another. However, this is probably more an indication of a character trait that you carry in other areas of your life as well. Not to get too psychological, but somewhere along the way you were probably taught (deliberately or not) that spending money on yourself for pleasure/vanity is a bad thing. As kids, we pick up a lot of different ideas when it comes to our relationship with money, and these ideas are carried over with us as adults. Sometimes we don't even know why or where they came from, we just know we feel a certain way. The fact that you're aware of this feeling and are questioning it is encouraging, because most people wouldn't even acknowledge it.

 

Only you know your financial situation and whether or not this is something you can afford. Based on the information you've given, I see no reason why you should feel guilty about this at all.

[walterpink]

Thank you so much ,your words are reassuring,You are right in pointing out that this has to do a lot with ones upbringing as well, I just get this feeling that some of my friends and relatives who may not have money to splurge on such things in life will view this negatively.But right now I am trying to block off all the negative thoughts.

I am getting surgery done by Dr Pradeep sethi/Arika Bansal in Delhi,will share pre and post ops pics soon.Thank you again for the kind words.

Edited March 5, 2017 by walterpink
Typos

[harin]

First off, congratulations on taking the plunge and I wish you the best results and success with it. Please make sure to share your photos and updates here. Who is doing your procedure?

 

As for the guilt, I don't see a lot of posts regarding this, although I'm sure other people have dealt with it in one way or another. However, this is probably more an indication of a character trait that you carry in other areas of your life as well. Not to get too psychological, but somewhere along the way you were probably taught (deliberately or not) that spending money on yourself for pleasure/vanity is a bad thing. As kids, we pick up a lot of different ideas when it comes to our relationship with money, and these ideas are carried over with us as adults. Sometimes we don't even know why or where they came from, we just know we feel a certain way. The fact that you're aware of this feeling and are questioning it is encouraging, because most people wouldn't even acknowledge it.

 

Only you know your financial situation and whether or not this is something you can afford. Based on the information you've given, I see no reason why you should feel guilty about this at all.

 

Exactly my thoughts, I felt guilty for a while even after my HT, sometimes even felt as if i was cheating on the nature!!!, thankful for my wonderful wife and my family who made me feel at ease, they have been very, very supportful and encouraging.

 

It is natural to feel that way, eventually you will be glad you took the plunge, it took me few weeks to get rid of that feeling, but finally I am glad I went for it.

 

Good luck, you have chosen excellent doctors in New Delhi/NCR region.

[Mick50]

I cant say I suffered from guilt ,I suppose the closest I came to thinking along those lines happened recently when I was a dating site of all things just got chatting to a lady and you know how it goes; likes dislikes all that jive, one thing she told me she just couldn't deal with was a bald head ,of course as far as she was concerned she was chatting to a guy with a full head go hair, so that kind of started a train of thought hey I was one of those bald guys,

I think at some level it's a bit like the fat guy who was ridiculed at school who hits the gym

and looks the business ,in his head it takes time for him to get used to girls turning on to him

in his head he's still the fat guy .

[Al - Moderator]

So I have finally taken the decision to undergo HT surgery,quite nervous and excited but also feeling guilty that I am going to spend so much on something which is considered vanity (I earn enough to afford it ),is this normal?how have other members felt before taking the plunge?

 

Why would you feel guilty? You are paying for it yourself.

 

I have health insurance and have never been on prescription medication, haven't been to a hospital in 20 years (except as a visitor), only been to a Dr once in the past 10 years other than the yearly company physical, haven't missed a day of work in 13 years except for 2 snow days when I couldn't get the car off the driveway. The one medical issue I've had all my life is my hair loss and that isn't covered by the insurance. I have to pay the entire bill myself. I can't figure out why in the world I should be the one to feel guilty about that.

[Al - Moderator]

I felt guilty for a while even after my HT, sometimes even felt as if i was cheating on the nature!

 

I was noticeably losing hair at 15 years old. I felt nature was cheating me.

[RochersDeNaye]

Thank you so much ,your words are reassuring,You are right in pointing out that this has to do a lot with ones upbringing as well, I just get this feeling that some of my friends and relatives who may not have money to splurge on such things in life will view this negatively.But right now I am trying to block off all the negative thoughts.

I am getting surgery done by Dr Pradeep sethi/Arika Bansal in Delhi,will share pre and post ops pics soon.Thank you again for the kind words.

 

 

First of all, congratulations on going ahead with the HT. I hope you don't feel guilty over spending money on this. Did I have this same feeling about HT? Well, I didn't really bother much over my look for years. Even when I started noticing that I was balding. And that was a mistake actually. I should have tried to do something about it seriously when it had just started. But, I didn't. Fast forward 6-7 years later, I look at myself in the mirror and see how much it has gotten worse. I felt like I would lose almost all my hair sooner than I was preparing for. That's when I decided to go ahead with it.

 

I also have relatives who probably can't afford this. I don't earn that much myself. I didn't tell anyone but my family about my decision to get a HT. They were all supportive of it. Most likely because they know I used to have a much better social life when I had full hair. I got my HT done about 24 days ago. Have met some relatives since. They figured I got a HT done, and they all seem happy for me.

 

If you can afford it and it's what you want to do, don't feel bad at all about it. It could have been, God forbid, a kidney or liver, you know. If you can fix it and would like to, you should.

I live and work in Delhi. If you're around and feel like talking to a fellow HT patient, I'd be happy to.

 

By the way, you can also follow my HT progress for which I created a thread. And let us know how your HT goes/is going. All the best!

[sutureless]

First of all, congratulations on going ahead with the HT. I hope you don't feel guilty over spending money on this. Did I have this same feeling about HT? Well, I didn't really bother much over my look for years. Even when I started noticing that I was balding. And that was a mistake actually. I should have tried to do something about it seriously when it had just started. But, I didn't. Fast forward 6-7 years later, I look at myself in the mirror and see how much it has gotten worse. I felt like I would lose almost all my hair sooner than I was preparing for. That's when I decided to go ahead with it.

 

I also have relatives who probably can't afford this. I don't earn that much myself. I didn't tell anyone but my family about my decision to get a HT. They were all supportive of it. Most likely because they know I used to have a much better social life when I had full hair. I got my HT done about 24 days ago. Have met some relatives since. They figured I got a HT done, and they all seem happy for me.

 

If you can afford it and it's what you want to do, don't feel bad at all about it. It could have been, God forbid, a kidney or liver, you know. If you can fix it and would like to, you should.

I live and work in Delhi. If you're around and feel like talking to a fellow HT patient, I'd be happy to.

 

By the way, you can also follow my HT progress for which I created a thread. And let us know how your HT goes/is going. All the best!

 

hey man, I looked at your thread, you will have nice result, your doctor did a good job and if everything is growing well your hair will be thick. Yes I still need to dive in to transplant, myself being NW5 stable for few years.

 

I hope to find good surgeon.

 

How do i contact your surgeon?, I am in US but it is very pricey here, want to consider someone in India or Turkey or even Europe. I have seen some recommended surgeons and may are very good but still pricey. Some I do not have any liking for hairline and density etc.., I think I may have at least 5-6 thousand grafts available and want to use them with caution and carefully choose the doctor for my transplant.

[pkipling]

Hey Walter! Just curious how you're feeling almost a month after your procedure? Hopefully your guilt subsided and you're making the most of the recovery process. (Remember that patience is your friend!)

[Dr. Alan Feller]

You are far from the only one to have these feelings prior to your procedure. I felt the same way before mine but realized these feeling were very misplaced.

Dr. Bloxham and I made a video about this very issue a few weeks ago. I think you'll feel a bit better about your decision after watching it.

 

Dr. Feller

 

 

 

[Mountinvan]

I view an effort to improve one's look as not self-indulgence but rather as proactive self-improvement. It is psychologically damaging to be self-conscious, especially to the point of low self-esteem. If a hair transplant, or any other physical self-improvement be it plastic surgery or weight loss, leads to increased confidence and positive well-being, :)I think that is psychologically healthy.

[walterpink]

Hey Walter! Just curious how you're feeling almost a month after your procedure? Hopefully your guilt subsided and you're making the most of the recovery process. (Remember that patience is your friend!)

 

Hey pkipling! So, following the advice of yours and other forum members I went ahead with the HT,the guilt subsided once the surgery was done ,as I was more worried about the post operative period ( precautions,head wash,getting the scabs removed ).

Now, it has been about six weeks just trying to be patient ( which is the tougher part ) and hoping things turn out well for me.

 

Thanks you again for your kind words

[walterpink]

You are far from the only one to have these feelings prior to your procedure. I felt the same way before mine but realized these feeling were very misplaced.

Dr. Bloxham and I made a video about this very issue a few weeks ago. I think you'll feel a bit better about your decision after watching it.

 

Dr. Feller

 

 

 

 

Hello Dr. Feller,

This video aptly describes what I was going through just before the HT,what was troubling me was that I am usually not a person who spends on the supposedly superficial things in life,you hit the nail on its head with -"managing hair loss is not vanity but its protecting your own identity".These are such reassuring words to hear , i hope this video is seen by many others who go through similar turmoil before going for a HT

[walterpink]

First of all, congratulations on going ahead with the HT. I hope you don't feel guilty over spending money on this. Did I have this same feeling about HT? Well, I didn't really bother much over my look for years.

 

Hey Rochers!,

Sorry for the late reply ,I was trying to be off the forum since my HT was done ,so that I dont obsess about my progress as I understand that the initial months would be really slow.Thankfully ,I got over my guilt before the HT ,since then I have ben trying to focus my mind on anything except hair ( which is really tough).

 

BTW how is your HT progressing,the work looks really neat , I hope you get a great result!

[walterpink]

I view an effort to improve one's look as not self-indulgence but rather as proactive self-improvement. It is psychologically damaging to be self-conscious, especially to the point of low self-esteem. If a hair transplant, or any other physical self-improvement be it plastic surgery or weight loss, leads to increased confidence and positive well-being, :)I think that is psychologically healthy.

 

True,if hair loss is bothering you ,then the best thing is to address it,thankfully when I was about to back off from the HT , I realized that I was doing nothing but trying to address a problem which I have

[pkipling]

Hey pkipling! So, following the advice of yours and other forum members I went ahead with the HT,the guilt subsided once the surgery was done ,as I was more worried about the post operative period ( precautions,head wash,getting the scabs removed ).

Now, it has been about six weeks just trying to be patient ( which is the tougher part ) and hoping things turn out well for me.

 

Thanks you again for your kind words

 

VERY good to hear! Yes, in a lot of ways, the waiting game you're experiencing now can be the most challenging part of the whole process. You seem to be handling it well by avoiding the forum for a bit so that you don't get sucked into the obsessive vortex of constant examination. keep it up and hopefully you can give us a good report several more months down the line. Happy growing!