most humiliating situation??

[MrJobi]

If one does research, and goes to a qualified doctor the risks are minimal.. It's 2009 and the techniques are very refined.. I have had 3 HT's & nobody has ever questions or noticed it ...

[rekunta]

I've never had anything happen to me that's nearly as bad as your story TC. I do not wear a hat or attempt to disguise my baldness so WYSIWYG.

 

One situation that does pop into mind was when I was attending a class Jr. College and sat in the front of the class. These younger kids (obviously directly out of high-school) would pass things up to me. One was a hat made out of a sheet of paper, which I simply dropped on the floor. I confronted one guy outside afterwards, swearing up a storm and preparing myself to get physical with him. Not the smartest move in retrospect and something I won't do ever again, it just isn't worth it. The other kids who were teasing came over to me later on and attempted to make ammends, not directly, but I could tell they felt bad. It still was hard thing to go through.

 

Another time I was in a Social Security office waiting to be seen, there was a security guard sitting behind me who told me that my hair line was crooked above my collar (he obviously knew I was very insecure about my hair) and asked me where did I get my hair cut? I replied "a friend" to which he mocked and told me to go to a barber to get a qualified opinion for my hairstyle. It was at a point when I was combing over a bit.

 

I've had many looks, but all in all not too many negative comments. If anyone does say something I'm very quick to rise to anger, sometimes still do confront them face to face despite knowing better, and ask them did I choose this?

 

There still are occassional jabs from time to time, but I've gotten used to it to an extent.

[hairjordan]

Aston Martin? Last I checked they ranged in the 80k Plus range....

 

What did your doctor charge per graft ?!

 

lol, just kidding around...

 

Originally posted by dalew:

Hi all.

 

i am a 20 year vet of HTP's dating back to the old plugs.. now in my 40's getting some removed/ replaced/ recycled, etc to give me a more mature hairline.

The fact that i have had some work done over the past few months .. and since it's from the front going back.. there's no place to hide. knew this going in.. but boy it takes me back to some hard times!

 

I know things are different know... but back in the day.. you just had to deall with the corn row plugs for a year or 2 until it all started to fill in. i feel for everyone.. but i kind of get amused when lurking this site i see posts from fellows who just had their grafts placed " 6 weeks ago" and when can i start dating, etc.

for those of us from the "old days" or for the poor folks out there who are still getting mangled by unscrup docs (PLEASE>> DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!) it can be a hard way to go.

 

that brings me to my segway. I apologize if this post offends anyone, or if it gets removed, i understand.. but as a band of brothers, i am interested.. what are some of the worst embarassing moments you had with the htp experience???

 

here's my story:

 

thru highschool/ college.. pretty much a stud. not the best looking, or biggest jock on campus, but always attention of the ladies. when i went out with my buddies, it was always me that the girls we met would ask about/ cozy up to, etc.

 

then.. senior yer of college, it started happening.. the inane questions: "hey.. ya know your losing your hair?".. like i had to be told!

after college i went straight into Vet school.

I looked like Phil Collins (remeber this was the 80's) by the end of my 1st year. I think it was a combination of being in a high stress program.. and the hair loss that did it.. but man.. i had NO self confidence. i see this posted a lot.. i really think women can smell it.

I went from Joe "let me go talk to them for ya" to the schmuck in the corner within 2 years. I thought about some dark stuff.

so anyway, I see an ad in the Sunday paper about Hair Transplants. It seemed this would be the answer!..

 

went to the clinic, never even talked to a doctor, just a bunch of great looking photos and vague promises that i would be back in a crew cut/ mullet (again.. the 80's!) in no time.

I was 19, never even told anyone, not my family, i guess i just thought it would be a week or 2 and my head as a whole would start regrowth.

 

It hit me when i was driving home from the appointment.. about 800 4mm punch holes straight across my forehead. i remeber puliing over to puke.. not from being sick.. but the cold reality setting in.

well after 2 weeks of spring break holed up in my aparment back to school. no wearing a hat in vet school.

moment #1: the stunned look of my classmates as i walked into the clinic.. the "what happened?" no one was being a smart ass.. they just didn't know what was up.

 

the next 2 years were horrific. i sequestered myself in my room as much as possible, never even dared to go to any function where i could not wear a ballcap.. and the buzz/ jokes. etc. i think most of it was lighthearted, but i was paranoid and a mutant. several "fix" jobs during these years.. but it finally got to a point wher i could kind of pull off a comb-over.

now.. by my senior year.. looking ok enough to venture out. eye drifters at every turn.. but i was kind of used to it by now and, the hair did't look too bad. right light, right room, i could pull it off.

 

Worst moment ever: March 17 1990: my buddies and i were partying.. someone had the bright idea of lets go downtown (philly).

 

I am in the bar, a little toasty, i had been working out like crazy, just back from Fla, so a little tan, so i guess i looked ok with my hat. I remember (I'll take this to my grave) one of the hottest girls i'd ever seen.. comes up to me, she puts her arm around me, drinks ome of my beer, etc.. you know the deal.. we stumble over to the bar, so i can buy her a drink, her friends come over..... she takes off my hat to put on her head.. shes facing the bar as she puts the hat on.. her hand reaches back for mine, and then she turns and looks me in the face.. eyes drift up.. she has this I feel sorry for you smirk on her face. plopls my hat back on my head and stumbles away with her friends.. laughing.. i wanted to die!!!

 

That was as low as it can get. i have never told that story in 19 years now.

 

whew!!!!

anyway, next couple years, i got hooked up with the right people once i became a "dr", hair look'n pretty good, married a great good looking gal, and honestly, over the past 15 years, i really think only a few people have noticed. or perhaps it's the confidence.. but who cares? Like i said, i am to the point know, i am getting taken out to get e recede look going, and i frankly don't give a damn!

 

my point to this long winded story:

1. do your research.. DON'T jump into anything! sometimes the "cure" is a lot worse than the problem!

2. if u go to a good doc.. you should be able to ease into it. but ther may be some hard bumps

 

3. keep your cool. it will all work out it you do your researxh and know waht you want and have realistic expectations.

 

4. No, this is no for my amusement, perhaps just a thought of the are others... but would anyone else like to share some moments that you wanted to crawl under a rock? it's quite cathartic and you will look back with some amusement.

 

D

[Stimpson]

Personally, if I am snubbed by a "ten" because of my hair, I can live with it more easily than if I am snubbed by a "seven" or a "five".

 

I second this. I have NEVER been particularly attracted to the real bitchy 'ten' types that frequent bars/clubs in look of hook ups. I just never have. Give me somebody with a little more depth. The 'ten' types to me always look leathery and worn out. Usually by the time they are sophmores in college.

 

Huh...

 

So in light of the above statements, am I too judgemental? Are leathery and worn out chicks reading my post and running to the facelift doctors?

 

And what about the poor fat girls? You know, thinking about it now, even in college, I used to sometimes go out to the bars in town (as an engineering student my college experience was not *all* parties and fun... I had to work pretty hard too). And holy crap! The bars would be frequented by young girls that were not only leathery and worn out, but also rather rotund! Their manner of dress was disturbing, because they would always be wearing clothes WAY too tight for their, umm.., body types, plus they would have on 120 lbs of make-up, etc. A little baldness would be MUCH less embarrasing IMO. Of course these girls were not the 'tens'. I'll bet these hefty chicks collectively have an insecurity *much* worse than us baldies. This trend towards obesity in the USA is really getting out of hand!

 

Dalew - Are you sure she noticed the plugs? Or was it maybe just baldness? It's interesting nontheless, because I HAVE had the situation many times where I meet a girl with the HAT on. THEN what the hell do you do?

 

Stimpy

[Scratch]

I got some plugs back in the day, and being single and feeling lonely (theres nothing lonelier than going bald) I made a dumb decision to go visit an old girlfriend in Sacramento over a weekend.

 

She was extremely cool and easy going and i told her id had some work done, and she reacted as i knew she would which was "no big deal good for you" kinda stuff.

 

Toward the end of the weekend, I was feeling great being around such an empathetic person--someone who accepted me for me--and I suppose I must have felt as if I had a "ally" of sorts--which alleived my loneliness.

 

That sunday night a married friend of hers called up and wanted to do a movie with us, and we agreed....i wore my hat. At this point I was probably ten days into the work, and in those days, that meant looking puffy, red, and with little dots all over your head.

 

The couple we went to a movie with brought their kid along, and when we sat in the movie, the kid grabbed my hat and tried to yank it off.

 

My face reddened, but luckily, it was somewhat dark in there and i yanked it back from the kid and smashed it back on my head.

 

I dont know if anyone thought "transplants" but it must have looked strange- a grown man grabbing a hat back from a little kid!

 

Moral of story: transplants can be lonely business, and hair loss can be socially isolating.

 

We all waver between being open with people, and being private.

 

But most of us have learned the hard way, that when you do a transplant, you need to seriously dedicate yourself to a couple of weeks alone because people can and will use the information against you.

[Pk-hair]

Nothing really really bad, just me thinking about what is in people's heads. I wear my hat alot and when I have to take it off for some reason like at a family gathering or in a middle of a crowd. Even that just makes me want to cry . I don't want it to be worst, so its like I have to scan ahead all the time to avoid a might happen accidents. Like making sure my hair is short enough, so it will blend in with the thin spot. All this worrying before I go out the house cause afraid of some how my hat comes off my head. That Sucks!!

[MrJobi]

I had a girl who I was talking to ( I was wearing a hat) while I was in college totally diss me. We were having a great conversation and then she said "wait a minute". She took my hat off my head and then said "oh" and pretty much walked away.. Not good for a young man with thinning hair. I wasnt even bald yet but it was obvious I was losing my hair and she saw that.

[Pk-hair]

I relize that guys wear their hats alot to cover baldness and I am one of them. I think people are starting to catch on about our secrets. I own alot of hats and I don't want make wearing a hat an important thing before I go out. Our secrets are out!!!

[pushing 40]

Man, I never really was "uncomfortable and self conscious" losing my hair to the extent of some I've read here. I just got pissed when I retired from the military and couldn't grow it out to stop looking military. At least nowadays bald is pretty normal in society; every other person I see has a shaved head. And if someone is balding but cuts it really short, I just don't notice it.

 

I have noticed one thing though since my transplant; I get dirty, mean looks sometimes from bald guys and they are more rude to me than other people quite often. Makes me fell bad sometimes.

[guit1980]

oh god i am not the only one who thinks this way.. after 8 years of hair loss I know hair matters for me. On 3 separate occasions i have had oppertunities with women who didnt even know i was bald. The first horrid experiance I was about 22, me and this girl were dating and as far as she knew i had hair, well 1 day she wanted to take off my hat to see what my hair looked like ( because the last time she actually saw it i had it) and it was never the same. Now alot of that has to do with self confidence because it really hit me hard at first. The other stories were similar. But 8 years later my hairloss as seemed to atleast slowdown i am around a 3-4 not sure but I am going to get consulted this friday about getting a hair transplant. I am 28 years old and single again after 3 years. So now i wanna get this done so i dont have to hear that little voice in my head saying you look ridiculous wear a hat! I have actaully not been wearing hats lately i dont care if people stare at it.. it just looks kinda outa place i look like a 21 year old with my hat on and a little out of place with out it on.. i think it strikes people as a little odd or something i dont know but it seems everyone my age has a full head of hair.

[HairIsThere]

Well here's my story.....The very first time I noticed my hair was getting thin I was only 16. I tore my ACL and some cartilage playing 7 on 7 football and it hurt like a bi*@h!! Anyways, I had corrective surgery that summer and I couldn't take a shower at all for like at least a week, so my hair of course looked extremely nasty/greasy and I remember looking in the mirror like geez! WTF is happening to my hair! And of course within the following months the jokes started coming...none too harsh but mainly just friends pokin fun here and there. Well a few jokes turned into a few more jokes and after a while it starts adding up and actually has an effect on you. I just remember looking around my high school everyday being like "why in the world am I 1 out of 2 guys in the whole freakin school losing their hair?!?!" I just don't think any guy deserves to start losing their hair in HS!! I never ever cared about what my hair looked like or or what color it was I just wanted some. Then one dreadful morning..I was in Calculus class my senior year of HS and me and the other people in the class (probably about 30 of us in there) were all working on our HW assignment for the day. Then another math teacher came into the classroom to talk to our teacher. He was just an old 60 yr old geezer that liked making jokes here and there. Well I guess I had a bad hair day that day, and on top of thinning hair that's not good! As soon as he walked into our room it's like he honed in straight to my hair and said "Ryan, looks like you're gettin a little thin up top! You better watch out or you're gonna start lookin like me." Then him and my teacher continued talkin about it out loud. This was in front of the entire class and I almost had a heart attack...I could hear all the people around me being like wow thats mean. It was truly an awful experience.

 

I also remember a time when I was a sophomore in college and I was at a friend of mines loft (who is a girl). We all were just sittin there talkin and then another girl got a phone call and it was a guy and he said him and some other dudes were comin over. She got off the phone with him and her and a bunch of the other girls there started talkin about these guys and about what they looked like before they got there. The ones that knew them started describing them to the others and one guy got characterized as the "receding hairline guy"....this one girl then looked disgusted and was like "oh God, nevermind him then".....I was like you've got to be shitting me! She hadn't even seen him yet and already wrote him off. Then the guy gets there and he has virtually ZERO hairloss..he was like a NW 0.5 if even that, and with me at the time being a NW 3 or 4 probably I couldn't even imagine what would have been said about me if my hat came off.

 

Anyways, with all this said, I just don't understand why people think it's "acceptable" to make fun of us baldies. Going bald is something that you can do nothing about to fix completely and the options that are available are very expensive. IMO, it's just like calling someone fat (which is definitely been considered unacceptable in society) except the fat person can fix it by just dieting and working out!!

[imissthebarber]

IMO, it's just like calling someone fat (which is definitely been considered unacceptable in society)

 

Totally agree.

[PCC]

Hair is There,

 

I also began balding while still in high school so I can related to your feelings of being the only and first person in school to be losing it at that stage. However, I'm sure that many of my peers have "caught up with me" in the years since!

 

When you talk about being "outed" by teachers and other supposedly caring adults, I've "been there, done that".

 

Phil

[HairIsThere]

Yeah PCC, it's pretty ridiculous that people for whatever reason deem it "ok" to point out people's hair or lack thereof, especially adults and teachers. I just don't get why it's generally ok to openly call attention to baldness, while it's absolutely not ok to point out someone being overweight, acne, facial scars and every other facial problem..I guess most people for whatever reason just don't see what's so bad about hairloss..little do they know.....

[Pk-hair]

I am 28 years old and single again after 3 years. So now i wanna get this done so i dont have to hear that little voice in my head saying you look ridiculous wear a hat!

 

I hear those voices all the time!! I hate the voices.

[HairDew]

I can't relay to those stories because I started losing my hair when I turned 29-30 years old but by contrast I would like to share a story of my best friend in college.

 

He was a somewhat good looking guy, nothing special by many people's standards but he had such a charisma, confidence and a great sense of humor. Anyways, we were all at the party and there were a few guys in there who's hair either started to recede or some guys were already around NW3-4 (my friend was one of these unlucky ones). After a few drinks too many, one of the drunken girls started making fun of the guys who's losing their hair (my friend wasn't right there, he was in another room). Anyways, I saw those guys faces and they looked extremely hurt. One guy had a very pale skin, so he just turned "lobster" color. Everyone of those guys were just standing there silent, taking the beating of their life. I couldn't stand it. I said something to that gils something like "you're the most shallow bitch on the planet" or something to that effect. She turned to me, laughing and saying that it doesn't concern me cause I still have hair but she added "well you never know, one of these days you will just like them ahahahah".

 

About 2 minutes later my friend comes into the room, he hears the conversation. He comes over to her and says "listen fatty and I MEAN FATTY, I'm sure you're hiding all your stretch marks under that skirt of yours, take a hike bitch"...even though I don't approved of that tone with a girl...he then turns around, finds 2 hottest chicks in the room, comes to them, french kisses one of them then french kisses her friend....long story short, he bangs them both that night.

 

The moral of this story is....have your confidence everything else will come together. My friend never had problems being who he is, getting any girl while being NW3-4 in his 20s.

 

[HairIsThere]

LOL....that a boy!...wa wa we wa!!

[MrJobi]

Some people are really cruel. Confidence can take you pretty far... No doubt!

[tw5]

What a story Dalew. My Dad and I were driving from Los Angeles to Phoenix a few years ago- we're talking and he said to me "Man, I dont know why you dont do something about your hair, you would be a good looking guy if you had hair". It's just a killer that sticks with you. I think women smell it also, it's that confidence that just isn't there. I'm married and don't care all that much, just not cool to deal with.

[Nicky09]

always try to avoid that situation

[wylie]

Originally posted by HairIsThere:

Yeah PCC, it's pretty ridiculous that people for whatever reason deem it "ok" to point out people's hair or lack thereof, especially adults and teachers. I just don't get why it's generally ok to openly call attention to baldness, while it's absolutely not ok to point out someone being overweight, acne, facial scars and every other facial problem..I guess most people for whatever reason just don't see what's so bad about hairloss..little do they know.....

 

But is all about perception in the end, how much something hurts your feelings is dependent on how much it bothers you, and even more importantly, WHY it bothers you.

 

The moral of this here story is real simple, and it goes like this: There is not a laugh, not a snide remark, not a joke and not an insult that is worse to one who suffers from it than any other condition known to man. And you cannot let it injure you if it does not bother you. Therein lies the answer: Not letting remarks about baldness bother you.

 

Some cringe inducing stories, as well, thanks for sharing these worst of times. I've learned through personal experience and close observation the unwillingness of others to recognize my hair if I'm not obsessed with it. They feed off my energy, and if it is not hung up on what I think of my hair, or what others think of it, its a non issue with them.

 

The horror is just getting stuck with something you hate. What is subjective is what your hair looks like in the first place. If you think its "all that", others might not think so, but the reverse I find is more often true: You think its crap and others think nothing of it. Ones own self perception of the end result is what is paramount. So find something you can live with and be happy with it. If you can do that then what others say wont bother you, or shouldn't. If it does you need to readjust you own timing (to use a 'tune-up' analogy)

[SRK735]

I have a few.

 

Out with my gf,had been wearing a hat now for about 6 hours that night,so the hair underneath was pressed down like a pancake,looked like crap.We are at bar and we are leaving,there is a bit of a line up to get in and we are walking outside to leave as soon as we got out some drunk dude started hitting on my gf at the time...well you know what happened next..in the scuffle he took my hat off...so there i was scrapping in the line up with about 50 people who i have never met all staring at me...my biggest concern at that time was not the fight but to somehow get the hat back on my head...well i lost the fight because I lost focus of the task at hand.

 

Airports are the worse especially when you have to take your hat off to go throught security.

 

Pools I hate as well...

 

Me and whole bunch of friends went to an amusement park,we got on this ride...it was going so fast that my hat was about to fly off...I was more concerned with my hat falling off then holding on the railing..everyone kept on saying hold onto the railing but i didnt..lots of people laughing at me.

[Julius]

Personally, if I am snubbed by a "ten" because of my hair, I can live with it more easily than if I am snubbed by a "seven" or a "five".

 

In responses to the Emperor's quote above I would rather a ten any day and to be rejected by them would probably hurt more as the other chick is only a five anyway.

[imissthebarber]

my biggest concern at that time was not the fight but to somehow get the hat back on my head...well i lost the fight because I lost focus of the task at hand.

 

That one made me laugh! I hope you didn't get hurt too bad.

[SRK735]

Originally posted by imissthebarber:

my biggest concern at that time was not the fight but to somehow get the hat back on my head...well i lost the fight because I lost focus of the task at hand.

 

That one made me laugh! I hope you didn't get hurt too bad.

 

LOL...no not too bad...but she left me about 3 weeks later...I was really heavy at the time...like 295 and I am 5"11...anyways i didnt let that hold me back though...I have lost 65 pounds since and am married now to even a hotter women.