most humiliating situation??

[dalew]

Hi all.

 

i am a 20 year vet of HTP's dating back to the old plugs.. now in my 40's getting some removed/ replaced/ recycled, etc to give me a more mature hairline.

The fact that i have had some work done over the past few months .. and since it's from the front going back.. there's no place to hide. knew this going in.. but boy it takes me back to some hard times!

 

I know things are different know... but back in the day.. you just had to deall with the corn row plugs for a year or 2 until it all started to fill in. i feel for everyone.. but i kind of get amused when lurking this site i see posts from fellows who just had their grafts placed " 6 weeks ago" and when can i start dating, etc.

for those of us from the "old days" or for the poor folks out there who are still getting mangled by unscrup docs (PLEASE>> DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!) it can be a hard way to go.

 

that brings me to my segway. I apologize if this post offends anyone, or if it gets removed, i understand.. but as a band of brothers, i am interested.. what are some of the worst embarassing moments you had with the htp experience???

 

here's my story:

 

thru highschool/ college.. pretty much a stud. not the best looking, or biggest jock on campus, but always attention of the ladies. when i went out with my buddies, it was always me that the girls we met would ask about/ cozy up to, etc.

 

then.. senior yer of college, it started happening.. the inane questions: "hey.. ya know your losing your hair?".. like i had to be told!

after college i went straight into Vet school.

I looked like Phil Collins (remeber this was the 80's) by the end of my 1st year. I think it was a combination of being in a high stress program.. and the hair loss that did it.. but man.. i had NO self confidence. i see this posted a lot.. i really think women can smell it.

I went from Joe "let me go talk to them for ya" to the schmuck in the corner within 2 years. I thought about some dark stuff.

so anyway, I see an ad in the Sunday paper about Hair Transplants. It seemed this would be the answer!..

 

went to the clinic, never even talked to a doctor, just a bunch of great looking photos and vague promises that i would be back in a crew cut/ mullet (again.. the 80's!) in no time.

I was 19, never even told anyone, not my family, i guess i just thought it would be a week or 2 and my head as a whole would start regrowth.

 

It hit me when i was driving home from the appointment.. about 800 4mm punch holes straight across my forehead. i remeber puliing over to puke.. not from being sick.. but the cold reality setting in.

well after 2 weeks of spring break holed up in my aparment back to school. no wearing a hat in vet school.

moment #1: the stunned look of my classmates as i walked into the clinic.. the "what happened?" no one was being a smart ass.. they just didn't know what was up.

 

the next 2 years were horrific. i sequestered myself in my room as much as possible, never even dared to go to any function where i could not wear a ballcap.. and the buzz/ jokes. etc. i think most of it was lighthearted, but i was paranoid and a mutant. several "fix" jobs during these years.. but it finally got to a point wher i could kind of pull off a comb-over.

now.. by my senior year.. looking ok enough to venture out. eye drifters at every turn.. but i was kind of used to it by now and, the hair did't look too bad. right light, right room, i could pull it off.

 

Worst moment ever: March 17 1990: my buddies and i were partying.. someone had the bright idea of lets go downtown (philly).

 

I am in the bar, a little toasty, i had been working out like crazy, just back from Fla, so a little tan, so i guess i looked ok with my hat. I remember (I'll take this to my grave) one of the hottest girls i'd ever seen.. comes up to me, she puts her arm around me, drinks ome of my beer, etc.. you know the deal.. we stumble over to the bar, so i can buy her a drink, her friends come over..... she takes off my hat to put on her head.. shes facing the bar as she puts the hat on.. her hand reaches back for mine, and then she turns and looks me in the face.. eyes drift up.. she has this I feel sorry for you smirk on her face. plopls my hat back on my head and stumbles away with her friends.. laughing.. i wanted to die!!!

 

That was as low as it can get. i have never told that story in 19 years now.

 

whew!!!!

anyway, next couple years, i got hooked up with the right people once i became a "dr", hair look'n pretty good, married a great good looking gal, and honestly, over the past 15 years, i really think only a few people have noticed. or perhaps it's the confidence.. but who cares? Like i said, i am to the point know, i am getting taken out to get e recede look going, and i frankly don't give a damn!

 

my point to this long winded story:

1. do your research.. DON'T jump into anything! sometimes the "cure" is a lot worse than the problem!

2. if u go to a good doc.. you should be able to ease into it. but ther may be some hard bumps

 

3. keep your cool. it will all work out it you do your researxh and know waht you want and have realistic expectations.

 

4. No, this is no for my amusement, perhaps just a thought of the are others... but would anyone else like to share some moments that you wanted to crawl under a rock? it's quite cathartic and you will look back with some amusement.

 

D

[Clint69]

Although I do not have a humiliating story to share, I can relate to the "hat pull". If I ever had a bad hair day of course I would put on a hat. It was certainly embarassing to have it taken off and occured on many occasions. I appreciate you telling the story, it was a good read. Clint

[lanthanos]

man that is brutal. what a story.

 

I think...hair does matter..at a certain time, a certain age. women do care. certain women. and you never know which ones will and which ones won't. that's the fear.

[Marvin]

I have a female friend who is dating a guy who is a few years younger than me. This guy started losing his hair at the same age I did. So one day, she pulled my hat off and said it was because she wanted to know how bald her boyfriend would be when he was my age.

[GTDL]

That's some story Dalew, kudos to you for sharing it on here, not an easy story to tell I would imagine. Glad to hear it all worked out well for you in the end though.

 

Regarding what women think about hair loss, it's a gray area. Ironically, my female friends all said to me that I would look great with the shaven 'Vin Diesel' look ha ha, and that I'm mad having hair transplantation (I'm not ashamed to be having one so if people ask, I tell them, doesn't bother me). But the fact is that women have their types like us lads do (some of us like blondes, some of us like brunettes etc). Likewise, losing your hair doesn't mean women will find you less attractive, some will find you MORE attractive. I'm no expert on what women want by any stretch of the imagination , but that's just my two cents.

[dalew]

GTDL,

 

U hit the nail on the head right there. The only problem i see, or have experienced.. is the "stigma of plugs">

 

it's odd. a chick gets a boob job, or a face lift, nose job, etc, even guys with lipo.. even if it does not turn out well, it's viewed as a "good try" and there is some improvement. A bad HT.. you are worse off than the guy with the bad toupee. at least he can take it off.

 

Over the years, as mine was repaired and softened with time, i have been out with friends, co-workers, etc and some guy wit a fresh HT walks thru the restraunt, pub, etc. he is shredded as bad as the guy with the bad wig.

 

As with you, i am at a point in my life i need not impress anyone, nor do i care, so i will usually share my story and tell them to lighten up. I have seen some awkward looks. and, of course, the "boy i should would not have known if you had not told me". but after all is said and done, once i let the cat out the bag, i catch 'em eye drift'n" for the rest of the night.

 

whatever.

 

all i can say is

1. I wish i had never done it

2. HOWEVERER, todays techniques are so great, perhaps i would do it if i could obtain the results we see today.

 

3. it has a lot to do with age... when you are in your 20's and the "bald guy" you feel isolated and will go for anything. when you get into your 40's (as i am now) and look around at your kids Lacrosse game and 1/2 the dads are bald(ing).. who cares? now u are the one with plugs.

i guess to me, i see at my age, it implies a vanity that i don't have. 20 years ago.. sure.. now i wish i could just be what i would have been! but people only see u at one point in time. they don't when u had them, or for what reason.

 

it's not for them to judge. but at that point i guess i, too am a hypocrite. when i see guys on this ite with older grey hair getting HTP, i just don't get it. i judge them as "old men with bad judgement".. what do they have to prove? what are they looking for? but then.. what in the hell right do i have to ask that?

 

4. there is no answer... all i would implore anyone to do is:

A. do your homwork

B. think about the future

c. will it really change your life.. and will it be better, or worse.. once u cross the line.. u really cannot come back. My humble opinion: Bald is considered "loser" by society, but it is natural. bald with 4 mm plugs going straight across your forehead, and a big scar on the back.. what the hell is that? do you really want to use toppix and hairspray for the rest of your life and live in anticipation of the "eye drift". or worse????

[GTDL]

I see where you're coming from Dalew mate, it certainly is a road from which there is no return. But there is so much that can be done now. How is your current situation? Are you reasonably happy with your hair or does it still bother you somewhat. I posted elsewhere on this forum about whether or not surgery would be a good idea for me (I have recession at the temples). And Dr. Glenn Charles made a very good point. He said that it's not about what others think, it's about what I think. And if I wasn't happy with what I had right now, the chances are I would never be happy with it. Hence, I've decided to do something about it and go ahead with having surgery. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't just settle for something if it's not what you want. I do believe that there are doctors who could repair the old plugs (please correct me if I'm wrong?) And there's no job so bad that it can't be improved, if not repaired fully, in the hands of a good doctor.

[imissthebarber]

And if I wasn't happy with what I had right now, the chances are I would never be happy with it.

 

I'm sure dalew will reply to you GTDL but it seems to me from his story it is pretty obvious that something you are not happy with now could be something you would accept in the future especially when you get to an age where more and more of people your age are in the same boat. Anyway, best of luck with whatever you decide to do. Like dalew said do your homework and think about the future.

[Acrobaz]

Dalew - what a story. Thanks for sharing.

 

Mine is almost comical by comparison. I started using Nanogen fibres a while back and, like many people, I suspect I used too many of them at the start. We had a party at our house, and invited about 30 friends. One of them decided upon arriving at the house (and about three minutes after I'd applied the locking spray) to ruffle my hair. They got a handful of boot polish obviously.

 

I said I was trying out some black hair dye. And got away with it - just.

 

I hear what you say. Your comments should be read by everyone thinking of having an HT at a young age. It can be a great thing to do, but it is a big decision and not all have the maturity to weigh up the pros and cons properly. This forum can help them do that.

 

Again, thanks for sharing.

[GTDL]

I see what you mean imissthebarber. You never know how you may feel about certain situations ten or twenty years from now. Actually, after reading your comment just there and having re-read Dalew's story, I think I may have missed the central point that Dalew was trying to make when I read it first. That being, that what seems terrible now, may not be so bad in the future. And if he could go back in time he would probably reconsider having surgery. It's certainly a big step, not to be taken lightly. I must agree with Acrobaz too, I think Dalew's story is certainly a must read for any young person considering having such a procedure.

[dalew]

I really don't know if there is a "moral" to my story.

 

I guess my main conclusion is:

 

 

1. i rushed into it at a young age, WHEN at that time i felt distanced from my peers because they all had hair, and i was losing mine.

2. I had it done at a time where the procedure was crude and results were not good.

 

3. Yes i have been "fixed up" and pretty happy with my results

 

4. all that being said, if i knew then what i know now.. i would have never had it done.

Not that i am unhappy, or live in shame, etc.. its just that at my point now in life. 50% of my peers are bald(ing)

 

was the 5 years of horrific , hat wearing embaraasment worth the 10 years of having mediorcre hair?

not to mention all the time and $$? i could by a new aston martin with what i spent.

 

now all that being said, when your 23, going out to the bar with your friends and you have become invisable (when a few years earlier you were "the man"... i guess one really does not worry about 20 years down the road. the Samson effect? If i went up to that kid and said.. don't worry.. 20 years from now you'll be all right, do you think he'd care? i would not have. it's all perspective!

[PCC]

dalew,

 

Your story resonated with me on so many levels. My journey also began during the "big hair and looks obsessed" 80's, although for me I was still in high school. I was so self conscious about the appearance of my hair I skipped my senior prom (of course it was also difficult finding a date).

 

Like you I rushed into HTs at a young age because the early balding had made my life miserable, it was unacceptable to me, and there were no other alternatives to consider back then. God bless the young guys today who can shave their heads and look great! In "our day" though that was certainly not as common as today.

 

Like you I have also had to endure my share of hat wearing, funny looks, and snide comments/questions. However most of this has come from other men. I will say I have been fortunate to have had some very nice ex girlfriends and a current wife who have loved me regardless and for whom the hair was not an issue.

 

Probably facing at least one corrective surgery to improve the front/top as much as possible. Really don't care about the crown and could always wear a small, light density system to cover that for special occasions.

 

At this stage of the game my biggest concern is that I fear it is limiting my options professionally.

 

Phil

[balody]

i once turned up at a party that was just coming to an end to pick up a couple of pals.

 

i walked in and surveyed the room looking for them to no avail when this fat woman in her 50,s made a beeline for me,grabbed my waist and proceeded to drunkenly dance with me.

 

i was in my mid twenties,probably a norwood 4,but wearing my trusty baseball cap.

 

anyway while holding me tight and showing off to her equally drunk friends with loud comments like "i've got a young one!" and "hands off girls,this ones mine!"she suddenly shouts "take off the hat!"and with lightening speed snatches my cap from my head.

 

she then stops dancing and stares at me through squinting drunken eyes and said something like "oh dear darling...you'd better put it back on again".

 

now, i'm sure no-one(but her)batted an eyelid at this red faced lad trying desperately to get his cap back on,but in my head the stylus scratched across the vinyl,the lights went on and everybody stopped partying!

 

well,i finally found my friends and stayed for a few drinks,but as we were leaving we heard a commotion on the otherside of the house.

 

turns out fatty had fallen down the stairs and was laying at the bottom with her dress up around her waist,showing an array of unsightly stretch marks!oh sweet karma!

 

i had totally forgotten about this untill i read dalews story.

[mmhce]

I never really had a "most" humilating experience. But I did wear a cap through university. My experience was just few remarks here and there over the years about my hairloss. But it all hurts.

[dalew]

Balody,

 

 

that is a "great" story. Now that's what I am talking about. Things seemed like such a big deal.. thw world comes to a stop... but in the big picture.. just a (in my eyes) a good story to reflect upon.

thanks for shairing.

 

mmhce, I never heard to comments to my face... if so people were uusally trying to "support" me.. which was so patronizing it was agonizing.... perhaps i was just paranoid, but i just KNEW (?).. see above.. did the world really revolve around me?.... that i was being shredded behind my back by classmates. in fact, i would bet my life on it. but who cares?

My hurt and shame drifted away along time ago, if anything now. i just deplore myself for a bad decision. still not too healthy!!

[imissthebarber]

Balody I've got to agree I certainly laughed out loud on that story. Thanks for sharing.

[GTDL]

Ha ha! Nice one Balody! Just goes to show that there is justice in the world, and what goes around, comes around (or falls down the stairs!)

[wantego]

That was a great story. Thanks for sharing it. I'm really happy things worked out well for you!

[Flavio]

Originally posted by balody:

[...]

turns out fatty had fallen down the stairs and was laying at the bottom with her dress up around her waist,showing an array of unsightly stretch marks!oh sweet karma!

[...]

 

Yes! There is a God, after all!

[Raphael84]

Hey guys,

 

Some interesting stories here. Im sure weve all experienced somewhat similar stories where somebody pulls our hats off or ruffles our hair, the winds too much or the rains too heavy.

 

I realise its a little off topic but I just struggle to agree with Dalew's thoughts. Dalew, this is no personal attack, and its obvious that you are not single sided, but open minded to modern HT improved techniques. But I just fail to understand a few things that you have said. Obviously everybody suffers regarding experiencing hairloss. But not all to the same degree, some shave and move on, others contemplate surgery, others undertake surgery whilst some even become reclusive. Whilst it must be awful to have gone into surgery with great expectations only to be dissapointed with old style plug work, really devastating, I couldnt imagine, there was obviously the motivating factor that pushed you toward that decision initially. As a young 20 something, the thought of waiting until my 40's to feel accepted and normal, is in no way an option. An individuals youth should be the most fun filled, experimental, active and happy time of their lives. This is not always the case down to many variables including hairloss, but if there is a genuine path that can assist this issue, then surely it must be considered.

 

Money is of no great concern to me, obviously with current economical financial issues, awareness is hugely important and a sensibility is necessary, but your line stating that you could have had an Aston Martin with the money spent/wasted, does not remotely interest me. If I have a choice between working hard, saving hard and spending 20k on 2 HTs that will potentially improve my hair "project", then let me assure that this will surely come hand in hand with an increase in happiness, or buying a flash 20k car, then my first option wins hands down each and every time. And I feel that the differing levels of suffering over hair loss that I previously mentioned, you must surely not have been toward the end of this scale or your comments would surely be different!

[TheEmperor]

Thats a brutal story, but have you considered that she may have done the same thing if you were completely bald? She probably would have.

 

In my 20s, I met ALOT of girls who would make jokes about balding/bald guys, belittling them and trying to elevate themselves in the process. Of course, all this in my presence, when it was obvious I was losing it.

 

Personally, if I am snubbed by a "ten" because of my hair, I can live with it more easily than if I am snubbed by a "seven" or a "five".

 

 

 

Originally posted by dalew:

Hi all.

 

i am a 20 year vet of HTP's dating back to the old plugs.. now in my 40's getting some removed/ replaced/ recycled, etc to give me a more mature hairline.

The fact that i have had some work done over the past few months .. and since it's from the front going back.. there's no place to hide. knew this going in.. but boy it takes me back to some hard times!

 

I know things are different know... but back in the day.. you just had to deall with the corn row plugs for a year or 2 until it all started to fill in. i feel for everyone.. but i kind of get amused when lurking this site i see posts from fellows who just had their grafts placed " 6 weeks ago" and when can i start dating, etc.

for those of us from the "old days" or for the poor folks out there who are still getting mangled by unscrup docs (PLEASE>> DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!) it can be a hard way to go.

 

that brings me to my segway. I apologize if this post offends anyone, or if it gets removed, i understand.. but as a band of brothers, i am interested.. what are some of the worst embarassing moments you had with the htp experience???

 

here's my story:

 

thru highschool/ college.. pretty much a stud. not the best looking, or biggest jock on campus, but always attention of the ladies. when i went out with my buddies, it was always me that the girls we met would ask about/ cozy up to, etc.

 

then.. senior yer of college, it started happening.. the inane questions: "hey.. ya know your losing your hair?".. like i had to be told!

after college i went straight into Vet school.

I looked like Phil Collins (remeber this was the 80's) by the end of my 1st year. I think it was a combination of being in a high stress program.. and the hair loss that did it.. but man.. i had NO self confidence. i see this posted a lot.. i really think women can smell it.

I went from Joe "let me go talk to them for ya" to the schmuck in the corner within 2 years. I thought about some dark stuff.

so anyway, I see an ad in the Sunday paper about Hair Transplants. It seemed this would be the answer!..

 

went to the clinic, never even talked to a doctor, just a bunch of great looking photos and vague promises that i would be back in a crew cut/ mullet (again.. the 80's!) in no time.

I was 19, never even told anyone, not my family, i guess i just thought it would be a week or 2 and my head as a whole would start regrowth.

 

It hit me when i was driving home from the appointment.. about 800 4mm punch holes straight across my forehead. i remeber puliing over to puke.. not from being sick.. but the cold reality setting in.

well after 2 weeks of spring break holed up in my aparment back to school. no wearing a hat in vet school.

moment #1: the stunned look of my classmates as i walked into the clinic.. the "what happened?" no one was being a smart ass.. they just didn't know what was up.

 

the next 2 years were horrific. i sequestered myself in my room as much as possible, never even dared to go to any function where i could not wear a ballcap.. and the buzz/ jokes. etc. i think most of it was lighthearted, but i was paranoid and a mutant. several "fix" jobs during these years.. but it finally got to a point wher i could kind of pull off a comb-over.

now.. by my senior year.. looking ok enough to venture out. eye drifters at every turn.. but i was kind of used to it by now and, the hair did't look too bad. right light, right room, i could pull it off.

 

Worst moment ever: March 17 1990: my buddies and i were partying.. someone had the bright idea of lets go downtown (philly).

 

I am in the bar, a little toasty, i had been working out like crazy, just back from Fla, so a little tan, so i guess i looked ok with my hat. I remember (I'll take this to my grave) one of the hottest girls i'd ever seen.. comes up to me, she puts her arm around me, drinks ome of my beer, etc.. you know the deal.. we stumble over to the bar, so i can buy her a drink, her friends come over..... she takes off my hat to put on her head.. shes facing the bar as she puts the hat on.. her hand reaches back for mine, and then she turns and looks me in the face.. eyes drift up.. she has this I feel sorry for you smirk on her face. plopls my hat back on my head and stumbles away with her friends.. laughing.. i wanted to die!!!

 

That was as low as it can get. i have never told that story in 19 years now.

 

whew!!!!

anyway, next couple years, i got hooked up with the right people once i became a "dr", hair look'n pretty good, married a great good looking gal, and honestly, over the past 15 years, i really think only a few people have noticed. or perhaps it's the confidence.. but who cares? Like i said, i am to the point know, i am getting taken out to get e recede look going, and i frankly don't give a damn!

 

my point to this long winded story:

1. do your research.. DON'T jump into anything! sometimes the "cure" is a lot worse than the problem!

2. if u go to a good doc.. you should be able to ease into it. but ther may be some hard bumps

 

3. keep your cool. it will all work out it you do your researxh and know waht you want and have realistic expectations.

 

4. No, this is no for my amusement, perhaps just a thought of the are others... but would anyone else like to share some moments that you wanted to crawl under a rock? it's quite cathartic and you will look back with some amusement.

 

D

[Byehair]

Personally, if I am snubbed by a "ten" because of my hair, I can live with it more easily than if I am snubbed by a "seven" or a "five".

 

She probably had genital warts anyways

[Flavio]

Originally posted by dalew:

[...]

I am in the bar, a little toasty, i had been working out like crazy, just back from Fla, so a little tan, so i guess i looked ok with my hat. I remember (I'll take this to my grave) one of the hottest girls i'd ever seen.. comes up to me, she puts her arm around me, drinks ome of my beer, etc.. you know the deal.. we stumble over to the bar, so i can buy her a drink, her friends come over..... she takes off my hat to put on her head.. shes facing the bar as she puts the hat on.. her hand reaches back for mine, and then she turns and looks me in the face.. eyes drift up.. she has this I feel sorry for you smirk on her face. plopls my hat back on my head and stumbles away with her friends.. laughing.. i wanted to die!!!

 

[...]

 

I wish SHE would fall down the stairs too. What a rude, callous, shallow bitch!

 

I don't even know that woman but I hate her already.

[kaounis]

Woman, can't live with them...can't kill them..

 

Just a thought from the peanut gallery...

[dalew]

Rapheal84,

I don't disagree with you in the least. with todays tx, i think it is a wonderful option for a young man to enjoy his youth. BUT, i would only suggest that he do his research, and weigh the option that "results may vary".

You can have the best heart surgeon and still die on the table. my point, is even the best HT surgeon is going to have some subpar results. htat's a fact. we are dealing with a lot of physiological and biological variability.

i see alot of guys on this board complaing about their "bad work". perhaps their bodies just did not respond the way all anticipated. remember, medicine (I say this a a Vet, but it all applies the same) is an art, not a science. I can "fix" a 100 dogs. one, or two are going to get an infection, or die, or require more work, or end up with permanant groin damage. That's just how it works.

everyone has their preconcieved notion of what they will look like.

 

all i say, is be prepared, and blame no one but youself if things don't work out.

also, althougth the odds are much less now, I would still debate that it is worse to be young, virile, and in thw swing, but be emasculated by a bad HT than to be bald. at least bald is natural, a bad HT and your a clown.

I have no abswers, just observations.. but from a different time.

but one last input.

For the past 2 weeks I was in Playa with my wife and some friends. wore a hat during most of the day, to prevent sunburn, but i had no problems jumping in/out of the pool, on the beach, wind blowing, etc. my hair looks quite good now.. if not a little too thick in the front for my age (I know.. I can't stop bitching about something!)

went out to clubs, flirted with the young girls, all is good.

now i don't know where the guy was from, or where he had 'em done, but saw some young kid (20 something?) in a hollister shirt at a bar. his plugs were just coming in, enough that he (i asuume) thought he could get away with out a hat (perhpas 4 months out?) i picked it up right away being a plug veteran, but the 2 young couples at the table next to us were ripping him apart. one of the girls was wondering if he had cancer.

I was considering ripping in, but 1. my wife knew i was tensing and her nails started squeezing my arm (the "keep your mouth shut signal") and 2. at this point.. it's not my problem.

 

 

there is no answer. just wiegh all your options

realize it won't make any difference in the end

 

and there is no going back.

if one's ht comes out great. kudos bro. if you end up losing 2o years and 60k just to get back to normal.. well that's the chance you goatta be willing to take.

cheers!