Schocked & disappointed - could use help cheering up!

[wildflowerwildflower]

Like the title says, I could really use some cheering up...I've been gearing up for my HT for several years now, did tons of research and consultations, saved up money, took time off work, and I flew to Vancouver this morning for my scheduled HT tomorrow, and had a pre-op consultation with Dr. Wong who informed me that I was not a good candidate for a HT, and suggested that I not proceed with a HT. Now, I completely appreciated Dr. Wong's (brutal) honesty, as he stands to lose a lot of money - it demonstrates H&W's integrity once again. But personally, I'm so bummed.

 

Also, I was so shocked by this news that I didn't fully take in what he said. But basically he said my hair has miniaturization all over, including the donor area, and that it is so thin/fine that it wouldn't provide adequate density anyway. He had Dr. Hasson come in as well and he agreed with Dr. Wong. The real kicker came when he said that it's most likely that I will lose all my hair since the miniaturization is so advanced in the sides and back. In a couple minutes, I went from a vision of a full head of hair to completely bald. Damn that hurt!

 

I'm only 38 and I've been building up to this procedure for a few years now. I had several in-house consultations previously with other surgeons who didn't mention this - and of course I can't fault any of the surgeons I had online/phone consultations with since Dr. Wong said it was really hard to tell in the pictures. So needless to say I was completely blindsided by this.

 

I think I only have read 1 story like this in all my research online, and Dr. Wong said he has only turned away 7-8 folks in his whole career. Wow, maybe I should play the lottery.

 

Anyway, Dr. Wong suggested I start proscar (yes, I had been resisting this after having what I believe to be an allergic reaction several years ago in my 1st attempt) and re-evaluate in 6 months or a year. That makes me feel somewhat hopeful. As does the thought I had as I walked out of H&W's building into the dark, cold Vancouver night - at least I don't have cancer. As bummed as I am, it felt good to have perspective.

 

Anyway, thanks for listening. It's been a freakin tough day.

[TakingThePlunge]

wildflower,

 

I am deeply sorry to hear about your news. I can imagine what a huge let down that must have been. On the upside, it's this type of integrity and honesty that separates clinics like H&W and others we recommend from the money hungry chop shops only concerned with the bottom line. Just imagine how bad this could have turned out in the hands of a lesser clinic.

 

Good luck with the finasteride. There is still some hope to cling to. Perhaps in a year your situation will have improved.

 

I wish you the best.

[Superfinehair]

Sorry to hear that, I can't imagine how that would feel...

 

Would you mind sharing some pics? Totaly fine if you don't want to but I would like to see what your hair looks like.

 

Hope the propecia helps!

[hairthere]

I can see how that would knock the wind out of your sails. As you've noted, looking at the bright side is your best route. Thankfully you went to a reputable, honest clinic like H&W. Best of luck with the meds and please keep us updated.

[orlhair1]

I feel really bad for you, but in this situation you definitely want the type of honesty you got from Dr. Wong and Dr. Hasson. It would be far worse to get the HT and have it fail. I know it was a big blow, but definitely cheer up and move forward. Really hope the meds work for you and wish you the best!

[Radius]

Awww that must suck! You deserve a hug.

[NEWHAIRPLEASE]

Wildflower

Im sorry to hear about that!! That is a hard one to take..thanks for sharing your story..

[wildflowerwildflower]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your support.

 

So I had a huge turnaround today thanks to Joe and Doug at H&W. I called Joe this morning still distraught and he suggested I come by the office to talk more. He consoled me by taking me out to lunch and chatting (getting my mind off my hair for an hour was a good thing), and then helping me strategize how to move forward. He was honest with me, but also hopeful. I can't say enough how much spending time with Joe today helped me in reframing this trip.

 

The main thing Joe suggested at this point was working with my hairstyle, which I have worn on the longish side since I was a teenager. He educated me on shading, density, sweet spot, etc., sharing his wealth of knowledge specific to my hair loss situation. He thought that I would be able to counter much of the appearance of thinning/balding by shaving down to 1 inch on top. So that's where Doug came in - shaving me down (which I was super anxious about) and reshaping my hair. We tried with and without product, and with and without toppik, to get a sense of what possibilities I have there. We were all impressed with how much that change was able to help me. Even Dr. Hasson was impressed, I think his exact quote was "It's like night and day".

 

Anyway, thanks to the great folks at H&W I was able to salvage this trip and feel really positive about moving ahead. I took my first proscar 1/4 today and hopefully I will be OK with it. I will then give it a year or so and document throughout the year to see if it strengthens my hair to a place where I might be able to get a HT later on.

 

And lastly, I can't heap enough praise and gratitude on H&W. I know there are great docs and staff out there - I've talked with several of them - but I have just been so incredibly impressed by everything and everyone there, from top to bottom: their standard of care, professionalism, attentiveness, etc. This isn't some BS marketing they asked me to write, I mean this. This whole thing has just been incredible (on many levels).

 

And yes, I will post pics once I return home.

[Capelli11]

Hey...just read your story...wow...sooo sorry to hear that...you must have felt so horrible...it is obviously good that H&W are reputable and didn't do the surgery just to make some money that day...it is also great of Joe and Doug (both of whom I have had the pleasure of meeting) hooked you up with a fresh haircut/style and advice. It sounds like it def improved your spirits! Hang in there...everything happens for a reason...start taking your FIN and go from there. I am not sure how you look but def try to use concealers. Hang in there as we all feel for you and your situation...post some pics so we can better help you. Please keep us posted!!!

[Atticus]

Damn! so sorry about that. Hopefully, being on meds for a while makes a difference. I wish you the best.

 

Atticus

 

 

 

Like the title says, I could really use some cheering up...I've been gearing up for my HT for several years now, did tons of research and consultations, saved up money, took time off work, and I flew to Vancouver this morning for my scheduled HT tomorrow, and had a pre-op consultation with Dr. Wong who informed me that I was not a good candidate for a HT, and suggested that I not proceed with a HT. Now, I completely appreciated Dr. Wong's (brutal) honesty, as he stands to lose a lot of money - it demonstrates H&W's integrity once again. But personally, I'm so bummed.

 

Also, I was so shocked by this news that I didn't fully take in what he said. But basically he said my hair has miniaturization all over, including the donor area, and that it is so thin/fine that it wouldn't provide adequate density anyway. He had Dr. Hasson come in as well and he agreed with Dr. Wong. The real kicker came when he said that it's most likely that I will lose all my hair since the miniaturization is so advanced in the sides and back. In a couple minutes, I went from a vision of a full head of hair to completely bald. Damn that hurt!

 

I'm only 38 and I've been building up to this procedure for a few years now. I had several in-house consultations previously with other surgeons who didn't mention this - and of course I can't fault any of the surgeons I had online/phone consultations with since Dr. Wong said it was really hard to tell in the pictures. So needless to say I was completely blindsided by this.

 

I think I only have read 1 story like this in all my research online, and Dr. Wong said he has only turned away 7-8 folks in his whole career. Wow, maybe I should play the lottery.

 

Anyway, Dr. Wong suggested I start proscar (yes, I had been resisting this after having what I believe to be an allergic reaction several years ago in my 1st attempt) and re-evaluate in 6 months or a year. That makes me feel somewhat hopeful. As does the thought I had as I walked out of H&W's building into the dark, cold Vancouver night - at least I don't have cancer. As bummed as I am, it felt good to have perspective.

 

Anyway, thanks for listening. It's been a freakin tough day.

[bonkerstonker]

Absolutely gutted for you pal, H&W have some major integrity to turn you away op day if only all clinics were like that!

 

With respect if i'd been told what you just have been i'd shave it off and think to my self i did what was humanly possible to get my hair back but it wasn't meant to be.

[Jotronic]

As WFWF said Dr. Wong has probably turned down 7 or 8 maybe up to 10 patients after they've made a very long trek to come to our office. It's not what anyone wants but sometimes, albeit rarely, the photos just don't tell the whole story so in cases like this one it is best to just accept the facts and move on. It is better for us and ultimately better for the patient. I have to say I felt really bad for WFWF because I knew how much he was looking forward to this but I felt strongly that a simple makeover in the hair department would make a big change for him. At the end of the day I simply could not stop smiling because I know that just the hair cut and the attitude adjustment made a HUGE difference for him. His new hair cut and use of styling putting to hold his hair in place had him looking as if he already had a HT and a new result! I hope he shares his photos as we documented the new look to show the difference. In the end, even without a hair transplant, I hope he will be able to say that the journey to Vancouver was worth it.

[wildflowerwildflower]

"Attitude adjustment"...I love it, reminds me of my childhood! Absolutely I needed one. And the hair cut helped too.m (Not to mention the Thai food)

 

I wonder if SKYPE might become a more useful tool in the online consultations. I don't know how much more that might show than pictures but I wonder.

 

In a strange way it was a really good trip, hard to explain somehow. I still feel hopeful that the meds and possibly HT someday could help - but I also experienced some kind of relief in realizing as bonkerstonker wrote that I did what I could and it just might not be in the cards for me. Either way, I'll be fine.

 

I will post the pix soon...

[hairthere]

wildflower, When I first started to lose my hair I buzzed it down to a number two. It really improved my look. Glad to hear you were able to do the same.

Edited December 21, 2011 by hairthere

[aaron1234]

Being turned down from having a transplant is far less worse than having one only to realize you weren't a good candidate 12 months later. Kudos to Dr. Wong for calling it like it is.

 

Shave down, take Fin, and enjoy life. And in a couple years, who knows, there might be a better treatment available.

 

I'm liking your attitude wildflower. Keep thinking positive and good things will happen.

[wildflowerwildflower]

http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/wildflowerwildflower/albums/1165

 

Hope this works

[Capelli11]

Pics look really good...throw some Toppik on your head and you would look even better and wouldn't notice the top thinning. Good stuff! Your donor looks decent...but like Joe said above pictures don't always show the true picture (no joke intended lol).

[Jotronic]

WFWF,

 

I hope you don't mind but I'm linking to the photos in this thread for you.

 

 

Wildflowerwildflower - before and after H&W hair cut

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2011 by Jotronic

[bonkerstonker]

Quality transformation that. It's amazing what difference it makes when you cut your sides down, i used to get a marine cut which was a buzz blade 1 at sides every week before my strip surgery and that worked awesome!

[hairthere]

Huge improvement! I have to say, though, from the pics it looks like you have nice donor hair--thick and wavy and it doesn't appear to be diffused at all. Was the issue that those donor hairs had miniaturized?

[Tao]

The new style definitely makes a huge improvement. I'm not a HT doc for sure, but your donor hair doesn't look bad at all in those pics. I guess it's finer than it looks. Anyway, you look like someone who was maybe a Norwood 5 who had a HT and got pretty decent results. And you still have the $10k plus it would have cost! Not too bad a deal.

[wildflowerwildflower]

Part of my shock was that I thought my donor hair was thick enough too judging for the hundreds of before/after pics I've looked through. I actually thought I was in a better situation than some of the photos I saw since I had all the hair in the back. I knew that my hair was fine, but yes, Dr. Wong said it was miniaturized - worse in the sides than the back, but he just wasn't confident enough with the back either. He said I was a 2.5 out of 10 (10 being the ideal candidate). However, with meds I've got my fingers crossed that I can move that number up...

[aaron1234]

Great turn around just from the new hair style. Love it!

 

Like all the others have said I am also surprised that your donor hair is miniaturized. Looks pretty healthy to the naked eye, but microscopes don't lie (same with H&W).

 

But seriously, with the help of some finasteride and a little concealer (don't overdo it!) your hair future is not all that bad.

[aaron1234]

I must also add that it seems counter intuitive for a shorter hair cut to look more dense than a longer one. Must be that "sweet spot" Joe was talking about before.