Embarassed, Wow!

[OneHairLeft]

I have recently set up my first HT and am pretty siked about it.

 

Tonight the wife and I went out with a group of our friends to a Japanese steakhouse and after we settled in someone asked my wife if we could come to an event and she blurts out " I don't think so that is when he will be getting his surgery" of course everyone says "what surgery?" so my wife just tells everyone straight out at the dinnner table the I am getting a HT moving hair from one part of my head to the other.

 

Holy cow, it has been a while since my face has turned red and gotten sorta hot, I could not control my embarassment, I would have played it off if given advance notice but the suprise of it all had me a bit stunned.

 

Amazingly, after dinner in private she claimed to not know it was embarassing, so I took it very easy on her....but damn that was truly embarassing!

 

Now that the cat is out of the bag, I guess I will just embrace it and be thankful that there is a solution out there for guys like me with less than perfect hair!

Edited November 20, 2011 by OneHairLeft

[NEWHAIRPLEASE]

Wow...that would be embarrassing , at least now you won't have to worry about hiding it!

[aaron1234]

Dear God that's a tough one. You can get her back later on and tell everyone at a dinner party that she's getting a boob job.

[Cant decide]

How did your wife not realize that was not cool? Hadn't you spoken to her about it beforehand. I mean, she is your wife!!!

[hairthere]

Your wife did you a big favor imo, now you don't have to worry about hiding it anymore.

[Tao]

After now having had two HTs, my thinking about people knowing has changed. At first, I was pretty embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know. There's still this perception about HTs that persists from the era of doll plugs and really crappy work. So if I laid down a helluva lot of money and got a horrible result, that would have felt humiliating. But that didn't happen. I got great results and though I told a few close friends before the second surgery (because trying to come up with an excuse to disappear for 10 days again was too much work), most people do not know. The second surgery was also a success so now I can say with hindsight, I don't really care who knows. Yeah, I moved some hair around on my head to make better use of it and look better. You ever see how much shit women put on their faces and in their hair every day to make themselves look better? How bout men too? So why should I feel embarrassed to move some hair around? Yeah, I did it and am glad and hey, I see you are receding a bit there too, fella. Let me know if you need some advice on who to go see and what to look for.

 

I agree with hairthere. Ultimately, your wife did you a favor although frankly I'd be pissed she did it without advanced warning or talking to me about it. The choice to let others know should be yours and not hers. If I were you, I'd have a heart to heart talk with her about it so it doesn't happen again. And good luck with your HT!

[mahhong]

This is a toughie!

 

On the one hand I can see how it could be construed that what your wife did was a bit inconsiderate. I mean, it is a private thing and it's not necessarily dinner table conversation unless you're comfortable with it.

 

On the other hand, she has probably just done you a big favour. Trying to hide a HT can probably be difficult, stressful, annoying and frustrating - and most people will still likely know anyway. I mean, in a way it's sort of silly - most men don't have hair, disappear for a week or two, and then a year later they have hair again. We might not chat about it openly but most people know what's gone on!

 

So, what your wife has done is negated that problem AND probably also proven to you that a HT is not that outrageous a lifestyle choice. I mean, you didn't ask to lose your hair, why is it so silly you're doing something to get it back. It is completely illogical why we feel so insecure about the idea of doing something to improve how you feel about yourself. If you said you were going to join a gym because you hated having a fat body, people would applaud. But somehow, if we attempt to improve ourselves in other ways (especially men), it's seen as being vain or superficial. That might be the case for those who get dozens of tiny surgeries to fix up a wrinkle here or a blemish there, but in the case of something as fundamental as getting your hair back, it's no different to buying new clothes because your old ones are out of date.

 

Maybe your wife has actually been smart in all of this; she's taken a huge weight off your shoulders and it's not like your friends are going to be any less friends as a result. I think it's quite nice your wife is so comfortable with what you're doing - better than a wife who's more embarrassed about a HT than you are!

 

It's quite nice to see HTs becoming more socially acceptable to discuss and consider. I have to admit I'd have a hard time owning up to getting one - but when I think about it logically I can't for the life of me imagine why! Hairloss isn't something I can stop, or it isn't a reflection on me as a person or a man, so why am I so embarrassed about doing something about it?

 

Just look forward to the HT now! And it's nice to know your friends will support you when it's healing and growing. If there are any bald male friends amongst your company they'll probably be considering it themselves before long!

[patwillpat1]

Your wife did you a big favor imo, now you don't have to worry about hiding it anymore.

 

Agreed.

Most people think others have no clue, but people know you either got a wig or did something, its too easy to spot. Its better the truth came out cause now you can joke about it rather than them gossiping behind your back.

 

On the plus side, in a years time, I bet the other wives will compliment how handsome you look.

[NEWHAIRPLEASE]

Agreed.

Most people think others have no clue, but people know you either got a wig or did something, its too easy to spot. Its better the truth came out cause now you can joke about it rather than them gossiping behind your back.

 

On the plus side, in a years time, I bet the other wives will compliment how handsome you look.

 

When you say " its too easy to spot " I hope you mean the new hair and not the actual transplant!

[kathie47]

i agree with most posting here...she did you a favor

[Jjjj]

not a biggie

True friends will understand

[Cant decide]

I am really surprised that most would think its no biggie and she did you a favor. In the end, that may turn out to be true but nonetheless for your wife to do that without your consent is just mind blowing to me.

[NEWHAIRPLEASE]

Can't decide

I agree with you, I would be extremely upset with my wife, however, I know she would never do that so it would not be an issue.

[Atticus]

I have recently set up my first HT and am pretty siked about it.

 

Tonight the wife and I went out with a group of our friends to a Japanese steakhouse and after we settled in someone asked my wife if we could come to an event and she blurts out " I don't think so that is when he will be getting his surgery" of course everyone says "what surgery?" so my wife just tells everyone straight out at the dinnner table the I am getting a HT moving hair from one part of my head to the other.

 

Holy cow, it has been a while since my face has turned red and gotten sorta hot, I could not control my embarassment, I would have played it off if given advance notice but the suprise of it all had me a bit stunned.

 

Amazingly, after dinner in private she claimed to not know it was embarassing, so I took it very easy on her....but damn that was truly embarassing!

 

Now that the cat is out of the bag, I guess I will just embrace it and be thankful that there is a solution out there for guys like me with less than perfect hair!

 

I don't know man. I have been married 18 years, and my wife would know NEVER to do that to me. She should have been more considerate and asked you before hand if you wanted it shared with someone or not.

 

Sorry, that's messed up.

 

Atticus

[TomCruise]

...for your wife to do that without your consent is just mind blowing to me.

 

Totally agree. Talk about not being on the same page with your spouse. Thanks for sharing though. Good story.

[blkblk]

I guess my viewpoint is a bit different to the others. Yes, we are shy about it, we are embarrassed about it and we don't want everyone knowing we are having it done - however your wife has just gone and shown that other people don't think so much of it at all. Most of the worry is something which we invent ourselves.

 

I told one of my female friends about it (very shyly) and her reaction was "they can do that?!? that's awesome! I can't wait!" Completely the opposite to what I was expecting.

 

By having people react in such an easy going, direct way, it is normalising the whole process.. much like breast enhancement is no longer taboo for females.

 

In short, your wife doesn't mind about it - so perhaps you shouldn't worry so much either.

Edited December 10, 2011 by blkblk

[MrJobi]

As nobody knows about my procedures, I would have felt a bit uncomfortable as you. Of course, this is an individual decision but I prefer to be private.

 

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, your results will speak for themselves and nobody will remember

[mattj]

 

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, your results will speak for themselves and nobody will remember

 

This seems to be the way it goes. An unnatural result will continue to remind people of what you've done, but it's amazing how short memories can be when the change is a positive one.

[aaron1234]

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, your results will speak for themselves and nobody will remember

 

Totally agree. And try to remember that no one cares about your hair - or notices it - like you do.