Wasting time on personal life

[JHerndz]

That's exactly how I feel due to hair loss.

 

My hair loss started on my early 20's at the temples region. I started using Minoxidil with hopes of stopping further loss (wishful thinking...). Since thinning was minimal at the beginning, it had not yet impacted my personal life. I was lucky to already be in a relationship, so I didn't have to worry about dating while constantly thinking about my receding hairline and what a girl would think.

 

By age 25-26 my hairline was practically nowhere what it used to be, practically destroyed. My self-esteem had gone with it too. At that point, I was long out of the relationship and with a son to worry about as well. My personal life was immediately affected. I started to feel VERY insecure and almost terrified at the thought of going out. Eventually, I was so overwhelmed by the insecurity and lack of feeling "attractive" and "my age" that I would almost never go out and ended up in deep depression. I was so depressed that I was unable to work and had gone from a healthy 140lbs to 118lbs. After about 18 months, I was able to battle out of depression and back into a more normal life.

 

Now days at age 30, I live a more or less normal life but still hunted at the sight of my hairline. I manage to go out now once in a while with friends but I wear some type of hat 90% of the time as I really hate to go out without one or trying to style my hair. While wearing a hat, I get complements that I look 24, but I completely feel much older than my age when looking in the mirror. My dating life is still affected as I shy away from trying to meet new girls due to insecurity. Even my son (now 10) notices that I haven't dated anyone in a while as he asks why I'm still leaving alone. It's like a nightmare that I will never wake up from. Pretty much all I do is work and gym. Gym is as a way to feel in control of my body as I lack control of hair loss, and to help me feel better about my appearance.

 

While I would love a FUE procedure, it's something that I can't afford at this moment and don't have any idea when I could. I'm so worried that this is going to put me on the sidelines for so long that I will keep wasting my young years away.

 

Attached are images of my current progression. I drew a hairline for reference. I currently continue to use Minoxidil and added generic Finasteride to my regimen for a couple of years.

 

Thank you for your time.

Edited March 6, 2011 by JHerndz

[Thehairupthere]

JHerandz as a person who has also experienced hair loss at a young age, I know how difficult that can be on your personal life. From the photos it seems that you are a good candidate for the treatment, and if you were interested in getting it performed you should consider going in for a consultation with a recommended surgeon from this forum. The FUE is an expensive procedure, but many doctors offer standby rates if you are flexible with your schedule, as well as payment plans which can make the procedure much more affordable. Judging from your photos I would say you would need somewhere between 1500-2000 grafts give or take a little bit, but that number would be clearer once you meet with a surgeon. Good luck

[RodG]

Hi,

 

If it affects your life so badly that you aren't getting out and about you really need to consider a HT. Life is too short imo. If you live in the US you could probably have it done with a reputable clinic for about $8000US. Really FUT is more affordable and in most cases leaves a very small scar.

 

However, with your hairloss situation if you do decide to have one you should consider finasteride to slow it down.

 

Good luck with your decision.

 

Regards Rod

[AdamAJ]

do fut and save a lot of money

[AdamAJ]

and maybe one of these doctors will cut you a break....tell them your situation

[Michael5577]

You deserve a compassionate doctor who understands your situation and doesn't only deal with fat cats and money-bags.

[hairthere]

To be honest, I am very surprised you have let temple recession ruin your life. I empathize with your situation, and understand the social/emotional impact hairloss has. But seriously bro, you have to put things in perspective. Do you realize there are guys on here that are completely bald, have horrible, big plugs, and multiple super-wide scars that can never get repaired? You have a virgin head, thick donor hair, and your loss looks isolated to your temples. This is very easy to fix, and if you go for strip it won't break the bank. Why are you fixated on having fue done? Unless you are going to shave your head super close, it's not necessary.

 

Sorry guys, I don't know this poster's financial situation, but this does not seem like a charity case.

[Sparky]

That hairline you drew on shouldn't be a problem, i'd contact Dr Rahal, be sure to stay on Propecia and rogaine though, because if you continue to lose hair, you would look silly with and island of hair at the front.

[baldingbro]

your hair situation is way better than many. you are lucky the HT can give you a very good hairline compared to some who is completely bald. FUT is affordable go for it. Usualy scar is minimal.

[Rabbit3]

I can see what you all are saying. But I am looking for a good doctor somewhere out here on the west coast and am willing to travel from southern california to oregon to find the best doctor. I see a lot of advertisements, ie Bosley (he comes to mind because of advertisements). But the one problem I have is the doctor (2 of them) I have visited send out a medical "representative" to talk to me. Why can't the doctor take the time to do that and answer my questions directly. I admit I haven't spent the quality time on this yet and have just gone to get some basic information thinking I would get it from the first. Not so! Can I get a recommendaton on a few doctors here in CA and OR that I can meet with the doctor directly? My goal: to have completed my hair restoration by December 31, 2011!!!!!

[JHerndz]

Thank you all for your comments. Please understand that my post was not meant for a call to charity. I was just sharing my situation with those with who may have similar insecurities.

 

@Thehairupthere

Thank you for the quick estimate of grafts. I have looked at some of your work and I'm amazed at the high quality work performed on your clients. Would you explain what a standby rate is? Thank you.

 

@Rodg and AdamAJ

I have researched FUT and looked at many images over the past few years but worry about the possibility of scar stretching, etc. I wear my hair short clipped on the sides. While it may be a cheaper alternative, FUE seems like a procedure I wouldn't have to worry about wearing short hair.

 

@Michael5577

I really appreciate your support. Thank you.

 

@hairthere

I understand there are individuals with worse conditions than myself, and I doubt they haven't been impacted one way or another. While my life at this point is much better than a few years ago, I still feel the insecurity holding me back on some situations. I just can't bear the fact that my hair makes me feel much older than I am/feel or look (with hats on that is). Again, this is not a call for charity, just stating my frustrations with a similar community. If I could, I would have already had HT done long ago, financially at this point seems out of reach. Don't know.

 

@Sparky

I'm located in New England area (US). Is he locally? Yes, I continue to use Minoxidil and Finasteride.

 

@baldingbro

Would be a dream to have a good hairline back!

 

Again, thank you all for the comments.

[Thehairupthere]

The standby rate is an opportunity for patients to save some money if their schedule is flexible. For instance if there is a situation where a patient had to reschedule due to a serious illness like the flu, or had a death in the family that day would then be considered a standby date, as you are taking over that spot on a relatively short period of time. The time frame changes from situation to situation so sometimes it could be a weeks notice and sometimes it could be 2-3 days, but you can always inquire about such a thing during a consultation or giving the practice a call.

[Dan72]

JHerndz,

 

I do completely empathise with your story my friend, and I'm sure there are many many people who have been through/going through the same insecurities.

 

Regardless of your personal situation, both financially and follically (is that a word?), it is, indeed your situation and even though you do have a fair amount of hair compared to alot of people classed as 'balding', it doesn't make it any less distressing for you.

 

From a personal point of view, from someone who has hidden away, behind Toppik, hats and all kinds of ridiculous excuses for not going out, life is indeed too short to spend it feeling so low, especially when it can be rectified. Again, even though I know it is distressing for you, other than the temples, your hair looks incredibly thick. I'd love to have hair like that on top .

 

The other thing I would say is that in general I have found that most people in this world as so preocupied with themselves, that they really do not notice much about other people, including their hairline. I remember the first time I went out without any kind of hat on or concealer and was amazed that the world did not cave in, nor did anyone run and hide from me.

 

As hard as it is, do try to put it into perspective and don't let another 5 years go by feeling so self-conscious when you could get a fantastic result from FUT and get back to living again.

 

Sorry for the ramble, but your story touched a nerve lol.

[EpilepticSceptic]

This thread is the perfect example of why I sometimes refer to HT forums as "a bad Kafka novel he never wrote", which is really a strange type of pergatory that many are trapped within in today's completely superficial culture.

 

I feel sad for you man; not because of your hair condition, but moreso because of your mental state associated with it. Some guys on here are so insecure that, even as a solid NW2, they have no social life and stay locked in a closet 24/7 because they simply cannot get over the fact that they are aging and will never be a NW0 again. "Life is over" for them, yet they are only 25. Many of them will look back in 10 years (when they are REALLY bald) and be really pissed off that they lived in a closet all that time when they could have been enjoying life when they STILL HAD SOME HAIR LEFT !!!!

 

What many of them do not understand is that there is a whole different level of depravity associated with baldness that has NOTHING to do with how YOU feel about it personally. This is when you reach NW4 territory or higher! When this happens you WILL notice people (especially women) in public treating you differently, no matter how well you have psychologically adjusted to your baldness !!! You will look back and think "jesus man, I really did have some hair back then but now I'm REALLY bald and in the club with the likes of Costanza."

 

You will kick yourself in the arse and feel like the biggest loser who ever lived for wasting all of that precious time when YOU STILL HAD SOME HAIR !!!!! :eek:

Edited March 7, 2011 by EpilepticSceptic

[RodG]

Hi Guys,

 

2 really good posts and your comments are so true. Whilst my confidence did take a bit of a dent in my early 20's I still had a social life. To be honest there are harder things that you will face in your lifetime.

 

Regards

 

Rod

Edited March 7, 2011 by RodG

[hairthere]

jherndz, I did not mean to imply you were asking for charity, you did not come off that way. But others suggested some doctors might take pity on you for your situation, and, sorry but yours is just not that bad.

 

My suggestion for you would be to schedule some consults. If you are in New England I would come to New York and meet with Dr. Feller, True and Dorin, and Bernstein. You could also meet with Dr. Beehner who is in Saratoga Springs and probably not far for you. Get some ballpark figures, and then figure out how to pay for it: use a low interest rate credit card (care credit has 0% offers you can take advantage of) or just start saving for it. Make it a goal. $8-$10k is not a lot of money to get your confidence back, and seriously, you look like you have great donor hair and it wouldn't take much to give you a great hairline. But just start doing the consults and it will get you motivated and the ball rolling.

 

Best of luck, and keep your head up man!

[wb280]

Just thought i should chip in. I agree with ES, i mean, u r at your mid 20s and honestly, it does not look that bad. Obviously every individual reacts differently to HL but shutting yourself down from the outside world is over the top IMHO. Like Rod said, there's a long way to go kiddo, and many bigger problems out there in future for u to face. Brace up a bit and get out to have some fun. Before u know it, u will be in your 30s with family commitments, work problems etc and u will regret shutting yourself up when u had the chance