What a difference a HT makes

[MrJobi]

So we always talk about will people notice etc. etc. So, attended a BIG meeting at work with more that 50 people, many of which I have known for 3 years or so ( allof which I have seen within the last year).

 

I said hello to atleast 15 people and can I tell you everyone took a double take...

 

-Wow you look great

-I love your new hair(twice,this one is really funny)

-What happended

-I totally didnt recognize you ( about 5 said this)

-You new haircut is cool ( about 3 said this)

 

So funny to see the response a see their reactions. Everyone of them looked straight at it and some of the thie thinning guys , you could tell , were like WTF??? I'll let you know how it goes the rest of the week but it's quite amusing. This post is for anyone who is doubting what people will say and the repsonses you may get..

[thanatopsis_awry]

Must be nice to be on the other side of the tracks! Maybe John Edwards is right -- there really isssssss "two Americas"....

[notgoing2gobald]

man that has gotta feel great. Most people on the forum don't share exactly how a ht affected their self-image, attitude, and just life in general. I was wondering today if there are some things that I don't do ONLY because my hair affects me on a subconscious level which Im not fully cognizant of. For example, Ive always been attracted to older women, but now that Im getting closer to 30 the really young one's look better and better. Im starting to wonder if a part of my attraction to older women was due to people always thinking Im older than I am.

 

I wish more guys would really talk about how a ht affected them. This is after all why we all are here and why we want more hair.

 

 

Than, yeah Edwards loves reaping all the benefits of a capitalistic nation (i.e. 16 room mansion) while at one and the same time panders to his base so he can "tax the rich" (which is an ever changing bracket according to his party, reaching an all time low for annual house hold income even below 100K) so he will gain the vote and tax even more. Splendid!

[thanatopsis_awry]

Speaking of "sub-conscious" effects -- over the past two years I have gradually (but clearly) become MUCH more reserved when I am out, and basically shut myself off from the opposite sex the last year; a deviation from how I am -- err, used to be. And, most importantly, want to be. At the same time, I definiely engage in less social things to begin with. e.g., I have the impromptu opportunity to go out late one night to a social gathering....but wait, I have to go through a song and dance with concealers, and even then it is a lottery as to how good it will end up looking and if I'll feel OK enough to go out and brave the night, meh, I will just tell them I am feeling ill (which I sorta actually am) and play it safe n' stay in.

 

This isn't to say I've become a hermit; but, I certaintly have become hermetic.

 

Also, and Mrjb can prolly' attest to this, but, post-HT, feeling a renewed sense of optimism; nothing specific, but just a more natural flow of optimistic feeling? I think for a bit I I had begun to just view things in a glass half-empty kind of way.

[flyby]

That's awesome Mrjb. You'll have to keep us updated on any questions that come your way. From what I remember you were a NW5. Were you actually completely NW5 and filled it all in with the 3 ht's or was this something where you gradually kept up with the loss? I would imagine it makes a big different as to how drastic the change was. I would have to believe your fellow thinning coworkers would even more acutely aware of the change then non balding since most of us have some sorta hair envy at some level.

 

NG2GB. One thing you get a very good sense of from reading many of the different topics on this site about how hair loss has affected people is that just about all of us share many of the same issues of confidence (or lack therof) at some level. Having said that there are so many different personalities amongst us all and I think the level that it affects each of us and how we deal with it varies greatly. You see some people where it seems like the end of the world and others where its more like just a big pain in the ass. For me personally it's been more of the big pain in my ass or you could say somewhat of an anchor . With respects to women I have always been a little shy (even with all my pelos) but I've always gone out (way too much actually) had fun met beautiful girls (long term girlfriends and short term) and participated. As my hair has receded and thinned more I've noticed I've become more of a spectator and less of a participant. I'd love to give some info on how the post HT has affected me but right now it's still more of the same while I'm waiting. While I am still a little nervous, hopeful and excited about how good the results will turn out, I do have a good feeling that I'll be coming off the injured reserved list and getting back in the game. Rolling up the anchor and opening up the sails. Maybe it'll be like Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption where he finally get's out of jail and decides to break his parol and go meet his buddy in "Sewatenaou" or however the hell it's spelled :-) Time usually fly's but this post HT time seems to have slowed time in anticipation of waiting. I'll keep you posted.

 

On another note. I met my mom at a restaraunt tonight (like a good son). While there she told me she was cleaning out the workroom at her house and came across some pictures of me when I was like 21. She tells me "I forgot how much damn hair you had" (which I did). She has no clue about the HT (no one does), and I told her "I know huh! Hopefully I'll get some of it back since I started taking propecia recently". In about another 4 months I'll bet her and others will think that propecia is pretty incredible :-).

[notgoing2gobald]

than 'N flyby,

its nice to hear some other guys open up about this $hit. In all honesty, even when I was like 16 I remember thinking older women were so damn hot. You know the whole sexy MILF thing I guess; like 30's...well, shit I live in Southern California and even the ones in their late forties look damn hot with all of the help they get...Anyway, it just dawned on me recently as Im approaching my 29th b-day, that Im so damn attracted to the young slinky, sultry, sexual 19 year olds that---THAT!!!!----is what I wanna take home and make my sweet little baby. It just dawned on me that over the past few years I typically get approached by the MILF type when Im out at a lounge or whatever and I think maybe why Im not so aggressive with the younger type is because they always seem so shocked when I tell them my age.

Even when I was 19 it was always the girls who were at least 5+ years older than me that really seemed to dig on me as they thought I was older. But I guess as I mature more in age I realize the girls I actually want (and especially to build a future with) are the younger ones. And now that I really think about it, I think that the fact that girls have always thought that Im at least 6+ years older than I really am THAT is probably one of the reasons why in the past few years I feel much more comfterable around older women.

 

most guys think its "un-macho" or some shit to get into the details of how their hair had a material detrimental impact on their interactions with women...bull shit. of course it did;l unless your paying for it.

 

On the same token, my sister has told me..."if my husband lost all his hair I wouldn't even care"...

And Janna, I think I remember you saying (if Im wrong then correct me) that most women don't like "fake" guys, reffering to hair transplants saying that a guy shouldn't do it to impress a girl.

*BUT*

the simple fact is that I know my sister says IF her HUSBAND went bald she wouldn't care...well, that is totally different. Once he is her husband then of course she wouldn't care..BUT..he would have never gotten a first date if he was bald to begin with. We all (male and female) have a proto-type that were attracted to whether were conscious of it or not...

 

that is simply the truth.

 

flyby, man you didn't even tell your own MOM you were getting a ht!?!?!? Seriously? I told my sis and my old neighbor Im probably getting one.

[MrJobi]

Thanks guys for the feedback.. It is F&^%kin great on this side of the tracks & I can totally relate to the spectator thing. The biggest difference is you dont have to try as hard because it comes so easily. This breeds the confidence and it is a domino effect.

 

I was a normal N5 with diffuse thinning and a bald spot. no frontal hair really just little thin ones..

 

Older women are hot in fact....I think hot women are just hot .. haha.. I love them all

[Gorpy]

Interesting Mrjb.

 

I have gotten similar reactions. There have been some serious double takes at my hair - almost like a look of shock. The other day I was at a happy hour with some co-workers. One of them said, "So you're wearing your hair differently now". Another said, "Yeah, it makes you look a lot younger" (like just wearing it differently would do that). I just chuckled and said "Yeah, do you like it?".

 

Gorp

[Way2Go]

All these stories are getting me pumped for an HT. I just started the propecia and rogaine 5% today, but if that doesn't work and I need an HT at least your stories will get me psyched to get one.

[MrJobi]

good to hear Way2go

 

Do your research (as it seems you have), talk to people, view the forum , and make an educated decision.

 

Good luck

[its752]

Mrjb, You gotta love the attention!! I think anyone who persists through and goes the distance to get several HTs deserves it!

[Glock08]

Mjrb:

It must feel great. Congrats.

Let me know if you need help with your photo album.

 

Glock08: Mrjb:

Thought you were going to post your pics if the Sox won the World Series??..or was it...If the Pat's go 19-0??

 

Mrjb: ...if the Pats go 19 and O I will post a pic

 

And you thought I would forget...hehe

Glock08

[Janna]

On the same token, my sister has told me..."if my husband lost all his hair I wouldn't even care"...

And Janna, I think I remember you saying (if Im wrong then correct me) that most women don't like "fake" guys, reffering to hair transplants saying that a guy shouldn't do it to impress a girl.

-- ng2gb

 

Okay, I just read through this very open and honest thread. Very good of you to start such a great thread Jobi! I'm sure your confidence is taking off -- as it should.

 

As to my remark about "fake" guys, which I vaguely recall, I may need to clarify just a bit-- I've never thought or meant to say getting a ht done meant a guy would be "fake" in any way. A person with a "fake" personality could be perfect looking on the outside but the ugly personality would drive anyone of quality away pretty quickly. I'm not saying looks are not important as initial physical attraction is very much a part of all of us. But it's the genuine sincerity of a person that makes a man or woman much more attractive in the long run.

 

I'll have to do a search on my old quote about "fake" guy. I hope I came across as saying - whatever you need to do to build your self confidence up, do it for yourself only not for anyone else (it doesn't mean your fake). No matter how good you look, back it up with sincerity and confidence--that's what women want!

 

Glock,

 

Where the heck you've been? I miss your great sense of humor!! Good to see you on here. Love ya!

[NervousNelly]

Mrjb,

 

I like the story. I am interested in you elaborating on the 2 people that stated that "they liked your new hair"? Does that imply that they knew you had a HT? For someone that has been very secretive what did you think about that?

[Glock08]

Hey Janna:

Went south of the border for the holidays...getting old..can't take these new england winters.

 

BTW..Love your pic!...Your hairline looks completely natural..damn..I knew I should have gone to SMG.

[Janna]

Tell me about it, it's minus 30 degrees here in Minn. this morning. Someday I'd like to be in Hawaii year round, but then who wouldn't.

 

Thanks for noticing my natural hairline, I'm proud of it (only a joke - no, I did not get a ht). I'm sure you're getting compliments all the time now too. Bet you can't hold all the girls back like Jobi.

[MrJobi]

Hi

.. Very observant Nelly.. Actually they are foreign (spanish)so their english is not 100% perfect ( I actually said to them it's not new haha) .. I don't get nervous at all because it is 100% natural and looks great. I actually had a guy at a party ( shaved head , bald) tell me he liked the style. Then he went on to tell me how his hair used to be and now he has nothing. He then said, "it's cool you can style it differently, I am stuck with this everyday". I swear it was like a movie , you can't make this stuff up..I wanted to tell this guy, hey dude, I used to be in your boat but didn't. I quickly remembered the same displeasure I used to have 3 years ago. I have not forgotten but it does seem long ago at this point.The good thing about a gradual HT is the natural progression from being a N5

[Bill - Seemiller]

back it up with sincerity and confidence--that's what women want

 

I 100% agree.

 

In fact, I wrote a post discussing this in great detail once (I tried to find it but can't. I think it's titled "the Value in All of Us").

 

Hair transplantation has also done wonders for my confidence as well!

 

But I also agree that there is much more to who we are inside that makes us more or less desirable.

 

Viva La Follicle!

 

Bill

[Al - Moderator]

I dated a woman at work a few years ago who told me that when she first saw me, she looked at my hair and thought I was so ugly she couldn't possibly imagine anyone ever wanting to date me. She said she thought if I was already married my wife must be so ugly and probably only married me because she couldn't get anyone else.

 

I knew her at work for a year, but hardly ever spoke to her until she had some personal problems that were affecting her job performance. I took her aside one day and just starting talking to her and telling her what she needed to do and how I understood what she was going through because I went through a lot of physical and mental problems myself. We talked many times and she eventually fell in love with me because she learned who I really was.

 

The whole point is that while I agree that women like sincerity and confidence, they don't see those things unless you have the look that they are interested in first. If they are not interested in looking AT you, they won't see who you are.

 

Over the years I've found that most women are just like most men in that area. They are looking for hot guys just as men are looking for hot women.

[thanatopsis_awry]

Man, that is so insensitive that she would say those things to you....what balls.

 

The axiom: men focus on 'looks', women focus on 'personality' is fraudulent as far as I'm concerned, and there is roughly equivolent emphasis placed on looks/personality by both sexes. And that emphasis is skewed towards the former. If anything, I do think women are more infatuated by aesthetics and place a greater emphasis on a "cool" appearance. Women are obsessed by image -- just take a gander at the popular magazines that are devoured and internalized. This isn't to say men aren't as well, and the gap has closed in recent years, but I don't beleive it to be as extreme.

 

The notion of confidence -- I think it is important for us as individuals, insofar as it allows us to display our true colors. But confidence must be backed up -- backed up and tied to, in our case, by "hair" (i.e. image). You really need both in my experience, and if either is severely lacking you are at a major disadvantage.

 

This is all a generalization, of course, and you can find plenty of individuals to contradict the norm. At the end of the day, finding the right person is a bit of lottery, and the greater your confidence and the greater your image, the more balls you have in the proverbial lotto machine.

[YoungGuy]

I agree, the fact that women don't care about looks as much as men do is a myth. I also think that's awesome, though, ever since I got a HT

[Janna]

"I'm not saying looks are not important as initial physical attraction is very much a part of all of us. But it's the genuine sincerity of a person that makes a man or woman much more attractive in the long run." -janna

 

 

Looking at physical attributes applies to both men and women. Needing the sincere personality (confidence, etc) also applies to both sexes.

If you need surgery (whatever that may be) to boost your self confidence and are able to....more power to you.

[flyby]

That's a sad story BeHappy :-(. I think this girl you were speaking of was WAY to open with you about her feelings of how ugly she felt you were. DAYUM! Even to go so far as to say if you were married she woulda thought your wife was a monster who couldn't get anything else. That's just straight up rude and insensitive to be that open. Please don't tell me you're still with this girl!

 

I think everyone here would agee with you Janna!

 

There are so many different variables in attraction and how we meet significant others. Those variable also change throughout the life of a relationship. And there's no question that looking good an feeling good about yourself helps with many of these variables.

[Janna]

Jobi,

 

Sounds like there was a bet about posting your pics that Glock mentioned. What's the deal or did you want ignore that post?

[MrJobi]

Hi

 

I vaguely recall, but it looks like I might have to put some up if NE goes undeafeated ( or when they do).. I will have to be very selective ..