I'm sure telling him would help with the anxiety, but I agree with youngsuccess: you don't have to rush into it yet. It is still early in your relationship and if you're not comfortable you can still wait. Just make sure you aren't pulling away too much. Good luck!
Every now and then a patient will get lucky and not shed at all. I've read about it on the forum somewhere. Maybe you're experiencing something in between?
Yeah I think hair dye is about as good as it's going to get. Since everyone goes gray eventually I doubt it's a hot topic for research but I could be wrong.
Can you call the doctor that performed the surgery? I know you don't want to let him near your hair (and rightfully so) but maybe he can clear this up? I've never heard of this, so I'd say talking to a professional is your best bet.
Seems like it might be more difficult for a strip scar than a knee since it will probably get all in your hair. Looks like it's applied with a really small brush though so that might make it less messy.
You could try showering in evenings instead of mornings. That way you can wait until your hair is dry to put it on and you can put it on when you wake up
Yeah, just stay positive and avoid the negative posts if you can. Like rws said, there are tons of encouraging posts on here, too. It's going to be a long wait and you can't spend the next 12-18 months worrying about it.
I definitely don't think we're shallow. If something is affecting your self confidence and inhibiting your life, then it's not shallow at all to do something about it.