Slipping into depression over this...

[KeepingWhatIHave]

...if I don't get my hair back to the way it was a year ago, I might just end it. Wearing a hat every day is frustrating. Taking it off to see my dying hair fade more kills me. My hair is thinning all over, and now that I've been on Finasteride for a month, I'm shedding like crazy. If I run a hand through my hair, I'll have about 30 hairs. This just makes me look even worse.

 

The only possible way I see to keep my hair entirely is through female hormones... I would honest-to-God, do it. I don't care if it makes me look like a female, my boyfriend probably wouldn't mind that. I don't care if I get a bit of man-boobs. My brother's had them since he was 12. I don't even know where to begin for taking this. That means I'd have to do therapy, see a bunch of doctors, and they'd laugh and go, "Ha, are you serious? Get out of here!"

 

I feel like I'm falling down a long bottomless pit, yet I won't stop falling until I can hit some form of ground myself. There's no other options at this point (Finasteride can't save my hair... it's thinned so badly just in the past few months. It'd be a God-given miracle for it to thicken what I have).

 

I honestly don't know if I can take much more of this. I can't live as a bald guy. It's just really not something I can live with. All I can think about now is how bad I'll look in two more years. My parents don't think it's a big deal either. What they don't realize is I feel like I'm about to end it because of this.

 

It's just hair, I don't know why it's such a big deal, but it is. I see my cousins, uncles, friends all with amazing hair I, and many others would jump through fire for. Why me?

 

I've never been so irrational about anything in all my life. I've always been the clear-thinker. This one really grabbed me by the ghoulies.

 

I'm stumped... and needed to get it out.

[Marvin]

So castration is not an option either?

[KeepingWhatIHave]

I've already discussed it with eunuchs... it's life threatening to do that most of the time. Also bone loss isn't good, especially for a fragile, short thin boy like myself.

 

The only reason people do that is for... well, health reasons 99% of the time. The 1% are people who just get off by it.

[thanatopsis_awry]

I like your attitude KWIH, as bizarre as that might sound given the circumstances. I've been where you're at -- in a different scenery of cosmos I'm there right now. I guess I'd just say to hang tight as long as possible till' you find an option(s) that you are alright with and can move forward with. I'd also consult with Hasson and Wong ASAP to see if you can get the absolutely boatload of hair moved in one go around which it seems you might demand.

[KeepingWhatIHave]

I've been talking with H&W (reps) for a while on some logical ways to deal with hair loss. They'd recommend Avodart before taking female growth hormones... but that's more or less sacrificing my hairline for the vertex/crown... Plus some unknown side effects that could screw me up mentally in the long run. I'll go with the first option. So once I find a way to keep everything, I'll probably be heading to H&W or Dr. Feller (if he has the ability to reply to an email or answer a phone... it's been four months since I've called/emailed twice). I've already been recommended about 2000 grafts for the hairline by H&W. That sounds great and all, but if I'm losing it all, what good is just some hair in the front? That means I'll have to keep getting hair transplants every year or two, which I really don't have the money to spend $10,000+ every year continuously for however many years it'll take till I can go out in public without a hat again...

 

I'm sorry I sound like such a downer right now. This just really, really freakin' sucks.

[Marvin]

What stage of loss are you at right now?

[dakota3]

I think you should see a psychiatrist before a HT surgeon if you are thinking about ending it. Thats scary!!!!

[KeepingWhatIHave]

Originally posted by Marvin:

What stage of loss are you at right now?

 

I went from a Norwood I to a Norwood III Vertex in about a year.

 

Originally posted by dakota3:

I think you should see a psychiatrist before a HT surgeon if you are thinking about ending it. Thats scary!!!!

 

I'm really considering it.

 

And Spex, I've just called and made an appointment to see Feller for a free in-office consultation for November... Thank you though, I really appreciate your kindness.

[imissthebarber]

I agree that talking to a counsellor would be a good idea. I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't laugh at you and ask if you are serious. If they did then IMO it is the sort of thing for which they could face serious disciplinary action.

 

Clearly this has come as a big shock to you and most guys on here have gone through the pain of MPB. Everything might seem pretty bleak right now but there are lots of options for what you can do about it. This is both in terms of 1. how it actually looks and 2. in terms of how you deal with the negative feelings you have about that.

 

You'll get through this one way or another dude.

 

Mike

[Bill - Seemiller]

KeepingWhatIHave,

 

If you are having thoughts of suicide, I strongly encourage you to speak to a professional counselor ASAP. Though we can certainly relate and help you find real hair restoration solutions, it's even more important to work through the emotional battle dealing with hair loss is bringing you. Have you told anyone in your personal life how you feel and just how bad hair loss is impacting you?

 

It sounds like hair loss is causing extreme anxiety for you. I remember the days I used to hide under a hat. I hated being bald...so much that I spent over $30,000 on 4 hair transplants to restore as much of it as I can.

 

I think it's very healthy that you're getting out your genuine thoughts and feelings, even if it is to a bunch of anonymous balding strangers. Know that you are among friends here and we'll do everything we can to support you as you consider your hair restoration options.

 

If there's anything I can do for you, feel free to email me at help@hairtransplantnetwork.com.

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

[Marvin]

I to III in about a year? I know a guy that happened to during his first year in college.

 

How old are you?

[KeepingWhatIHave]

Thanks, Bill... I've always been able to truck through hard times, but this... I don't know why it's affecting me so much. I've always loved hair, whether it was mine, or someone elses. It's one of my favorite things in the world. Losing it so quickly is just killing me.

 

I'm also 21... will be 22 on the 22nd of next month...

 

This will sound extremely insane, but when I see the psychiatrist, I'm going to ask about anti-testosterone/estrogens to reverse MPB.

 

I'd rather live as a woman with great hair than a bald guy. It's hard to imagine me losing hair without me wanting to cry. I've never felt such a horrible feeling, dreading the future like this. I've already talked with some friends and strangers who are male-to-female transgenders, and are all very cautious of me starting on something like this, especially for this reason, but I've convinced even them that this is something I want to do to halt this for good. I'm aware it will change my face, and my body to look more feminine. I know about the side effects down there. Honestly, that doesn't bother me.

 

The problem is actually finding someone willing to prescribe me something like this, for mainly this reason.

 

It's a last resort, but it would surely work, and it would put a smile on my face once again.

[bash77]

KWIH,

Sincerly sorry to read about your plight. We are certainly hit when we start losing our hair but thank goodness for a community like this one. We are with you 100% and I trust the finasteride will stabilise your hair loss in due course. Any chance you could post some pics so the forum could assess your situation in more detail?

 

All,

KWIH at the beginning of his post stated "I'm shedding like crazy. If I run a hand through my hair, I'll have about 30 hairs".

 

My question is this. How do we measure a 'shed' by quantity?

 

Regards,

Bash

[Marvin]

Good luck. I'll give you the same advice I give in every thread: if you want to do something drastic, do it only for yourself, and not for others.

 

Don't do it just because you think women, employers, clients, etc. want you to have hair. There are plenty of bald men who are successful with all of these groups. Do it only if you think YOU want you to have hair.

[Bill - Seemiller]

KeepingWhatIHave,

 

I received your email earlier today and responded. If there's anything I can help you with, let me know. I know this has been very distressing to you. So if you want to talk on the phone, I'll be happy to do what I can to offer whatever help I can.

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

[aaron1234]

KeepingWhatIHave,

 

Whatever you do (trying Avodart, female hormones, castration, HT, etc.), don't freakin' kill yourself! I certainly hope you do see a psychiastrist soon.

 

22 is probably too young to get a HT, especially when you are emotional. However, you are communicating with top-notch, ethical docs so I know you will be getting sound advice.

 

Stay on Propecia for a couple years and see what happens. If for some reason you are not a candidate for HT, get a kick-ass hair system. Countless actors use them. It'll give you more density than a HT. Yeah, it'll suck to have something on top of your head... but it's certainly a better option than ending it all.

[Sparky]

Its certainly not worth killing yourself over some keratin, your still to young to think about this logically, I was 22 when I got my first HT and I was about a NW1.5 at the time so I totally rushed into something stupid.

 

You may think differently about it as you get older, I certainly did.

[Sparky]

Another thing, female hormones dont always stop hairloss.

[KeepingWhatIHave]

Thanks, guys... Bill, thanks for responding... I'd love to talk a bit about this on the phone, but I'm going to be away in New York City for the weekend... and Monday, I go to see the psychiatrist... it would probably do me some good to talk about this over the phone, live, rather than a forum. If you're around Monday, I'll definitely give you a call... I just wanna make sure I'm not calling if you're at work or something.

 

And Sparky, female hormones alone might not do it, but an anti-androgen as well would very well do it... as odd as this may sound, I've been talking with a lot of male-to-female transgenders, and they tell me the same thing. They had some loss in the back, or receding hairlines, and it all filled in after a year of Estradiol and Spironolactone. I was able to see for myself, and it is pretty effective. I had been considering this as a last resort for a long time, and I'm ready to do it now and end my hair loss. My hair loss has honestly gotten so much worse over the past month, it's ridiculous. If I don't wear a hat, I look almost like Jude Law.

 

As for being on these medications, my transgender friends offered to help me through any other physical and mental changes, too... they've experienced it all. If I can be prescribed this, with support from them, and you guys, I might be able to get out of this crummy state and leave this agonizing year far behind.

[thanatopsis_awry]

Seriously consider the gravitas of essentially going through a sex change transformation. There are untold risks associated with this, besides from the crux -- which is that you are doing a de facto sex change operation. Clearly, right now your mind is flooded by thoughts of hairloss and only hairloss; it won't always be this way. What are your objective thoughts on getting a sex change operation, irrespective of hair?

 

Considering your expectations and proclivities, I truly believe a top notch hair system is best for you. You will get infinitely superior hair, sans risk, compared to a sex change in an infinitely easier way, you will get it ASTAT, and....you won't be going through a sex change.

 

As well, keep in mind that this route buys you infinite time, and you can adapt and react as new advances come, as they may very well in the coming years.

 

You're obsessed -- and possessed -- by your hair right now. Don't make a truly life-altering, monumentally complex choice in this frame of mind, IMHO.

[aaron1234]

Considering your expectations and proclivities, I truly believe a top notch hair system is best for you. You will get infinitely superior hair, sans risk, compared to a sex change in an infinitely easier way, you will get it ASTAT, and....you won't be going through a sex change.

 

Absolutely agree. Members here rarely seem to suggest a hair system but I'd seriously look into that KWIH.

[RajToor]

I can understand your pain. I lost my hair when I was 23 and it was really bad for me. But then for me it was always about the girls, so I shaved my head and pump up some muscles.. man.. i had the a great sex life after that, 3some ..4some. I even had hot strippers coming over at my place after party wild parties. I noticed that hair isn't everything... yeah sometimes you will be missing your hair.. so get a HT, if you cant afford it over there, go to asia, I know a ht surgeon who is recommended in this forum and I think it will cost around 0.70 cents per graft and guess what, u will get some discount too. I think 3000 grafts will be around usd 1700. Stay in there, life is short and enjoy it.

[KeepingWhatIHave]

Hey guys...

 

I really really appreciate your comments. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I'll let you know what's going on.

 

I'm on a testosterone blocker (spironolactone) and I'll be starting a very low form of estrogen soon (Yasmin), on top of that, I'm using Nizoral 1% shampoo, which is supposed to be good for promoting healthy growth, and of course, I'm on 1.25 mg of finasteride.

 

My hair is looking a little worse than it did a few months ago, but I'm going to just wait for 6 months to see if there's any reversal. I know one kid my age on another forum had his hair doing the same thing mine is, and was on fin/yasmin, and his hair pretty much all regrew out thick as hell in a matter of a year. So, hopefully... this will get better

 

Wish me luck! And I know, I'm crazy for doing this.

[Sparky]

Yeah your nuts, but if it means that much to you. Consider posting some before and after pics when you get some results. Good luck.

[RajToor]

I hope u gain some hairs and hope your special organ don't drop off while u are walking in the park.