Senior Member thanatopsis_awry Posted November 3, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 3, 2009 The road of the HT has been long but mostly glorious; however, for the first time since my HT I'm battling with self-consciousness and fears over my hair. When my hair was thoroughly died blonde the resulting scalp contrast did the trick, but in but a matter of weeks with the way my hair grows the effect has subsided. I have a first date later today with a girl I think is really cool, but whom when we first met a bit ago my hairline/hair was stronger. I'm sweating bullets and scared to hell that she will identify me with having bad, thin hair. I ordered dermmatch, which I think will do *just* the trick since I basically just require imroved contrast in the zone behind my hairline...but, the batch hasn't arrived and so I'm flying au naturale... I'm pretty nervous as to how my hair will look tomorrow, and the effect it might have. I'm going to pull out all the stops from my patented grooming and styling manifesto, but even then.... Just had to get this off my chest. Hopefully, some see-thruness in my hairline won't look too off-kilter to her for a guy spiking/pushing up his hair.... ----------- *A Follicles Dying Wish To Clinics* 1 top-down, 1 portrait, 1 side-shot, 1 hairline....4 photos. No flash. Follicles have asked for centuries, in ten languages, as many times so as to confuse a mathematician. Enough is enough! Give me documentation or give me death! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member MikeTheDane Posted November 3, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 3, 2009 Mate You still have a very strong hairline, so don't sweat it. If you feel like it though, you could comb your hairline slightly forward like i have, it hides most flaws and actually looks better imo. #1 turnoff in women is a man who is selfconcious about himself and doesn't like what he sees. Also, our worst judges are ourselves. I mean if you had your old hairline she would notice, but your new one is close enough to being natural that, if you don't bring it up, she won't secondguess it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11/04-07 - 800-1600 ish grafts - danish clinic - poor results 12/02-08 - 2764 grafts - Dr. Devroye - good result but needs hairline density 03/12-10 - 1429 grafts - Dr. Mohmand - result pending Feel free to visit my picture thread My Hair Transplant Photos - Surgery with Dr. Devroye Young lads below 25 unite! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Obie one Posted November 3, 2009 Regular Member Share Posted November 3, 2009 Stop sweating it. I sincerely doubt she is going to care about your hair and if you have a strong hairline. If she saw you before you had a transplant and if you have had a major amount of shock loss, she would then most likely wonder why you look different. Most women are going to be more concerned about your connection and how you make her feel, not if you have a strong hairline. If you absolutely want to see this girl, probably the next best thing to creative combing is to get your attention off of your hair and onto having a great time with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Than, I know what you mean my friend. But remember that we're our own worst critic and usually the things that bother us significantly are minor if not nonexistant to others. You still have a strong head of hair and though you may not have perfect density, it's certainly thick enough to portray the illusion of density. There are areas of my scalp that aren't even at 50% true density. However, I've had many compliments on my hair from people I just met, including statements like "you're lucky you have no signs of hair loss". What we see under close scrutiny won't be seen by 99% of other people in the real world. Try to relax and don't obsess over your hair. Focus on getting to know her and play the rest by ear. Enjoy your date :-) Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member HairHope Posted November 4, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 4, 2009 If it is meant to be, your hair won't matter one iota... Please try to enjoy these young years and not worry too much about your hair, many of us (in hindsight) realize we spent way too much time focusing on our hair (when it looked great like yours), rather than just having fun. Is she hot? Pics? lol ------------ Dec. 2004 - 1938 Grafts via Strip Feb. 2009 - 1002 Grafts via FUE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member HairHope Posted November 4, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 4, 2009 If it is meant to be, your hair won't matter one iota... Please try to enjoy these young years and not worry too much about your hair, many of us (in hindsight) realize we spent way too much time focusing on our hair (when it looked great like yours), rather than just having fun. Is she hot? Pics? lol (j/k - maybe!) Dec. 2004 - 1938 Grafts via Strip Feb. 2009 - 1002 Grafts via FUE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Dr. William Lindsey Posted November 4, 2009 Regular Member Share Posted November 4, 2009 I completely agree with Bill that we are our own worst critics. Often what we think is a huge problem is unseen by others. In fact just Monday I saw a person that I was sure was coming in for a hair transplant, only to find out that they were worried that one eyebrow was a little too thin and it was noticable in a recent picture they had been in at work. Don't stress about a first date. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Dr. Lindsey McLean VA William H. Lindsey, MD, FACS McLean, VA Dr. William Lindsey is a member of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member aaron1234 Posted November 4, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 4, 2009 Wow, I was going to post a thread just like this one. I have a couple dates this weekend (one old friend and one blind date) and my hair doesn't look nearly as good as Thana's since I'm only 2.5 months post-op. Dating post-op is tough, especially when you haven't went through the growing stages yet. I'm just gonna have to wear a hat. I feel much more confident now in a hat (and I don't just put on an old shabby baseball cap). My hats got style. Good luck on your date Thana. I'd die for your hair this weekend! Dr. G: 1,000 grafts (FUT) 2008 Dr. Paul Shapiro: 2,348 grafts (FUT) 2009 ~ 1,999 grafts (FUT) 2011 ~ 300 grafts (Scar Reduction) 2013 Dr. Konior: 771 grafts (FUT) 2015 ~ 558 grafts (FUT) 2017 ~ 1,124 grafts (FUE) 2020 My Hair Transplant Journey with Shapiro Medical Group Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member thanatopsis_awry Posted November 4, 2009 Author Senior Member Share Posted November 4, 2009 Thanks for the support guys; really appreciated, truly, and helps a great deal. I'm basically forcing myself to not over-analyze my hair in the moments leading up to going out -- which is tough to do for a hair geek . Also doing what Mike mentioned and styling my hair forward a bit more just to make it "out of sight out of mind" for my own comfort. We'll see *just* how good the dates go before I work on uploading pics, HairH...maybe can justify it by "showing a model of hairline density we all strive for"... Aaron, gl man this weekend, as well, and keep posted. Wearing cool hats have gotten *really* popular and fashionable, so I'm sure you'll pull it off with aplomb and it'l all be good -- unless your blinddate has the personality of a rock and could play linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys, in which case insta-take the hat off, let your babies breathe, and RUN. ----------- *A Follicles Dying Wish To Clinics* 1 top-down, 1 portrait, 1 side-shot, 1 hairline....4 photos. No flash. Follicles have asked for centuries, in ten languages, as many times so as to confuse a mathematician. Enough is enough! Give me documentation or give me death! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member balody Posted November 4, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 4, 2009 thana,i cant believe what i'm reading! you look like a stud my man if i was a female i definatly would!lol just shoot her the "magnum" and you'll be home dry! 2381 fut Dr Bessam Farjo 2201 fut Dr Bessam Farjo 2000+ fut Dr Bessam Farjo My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Bessam Farjo challenge the unchallenged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member hrvoje14 Posted November 4, 2009 Regular Member Share Posted November 4, 2009 if out of everything you have to offer as a guy and a human being, she focuses on whether your HAIRLINE is perfect or not, then, my friend, perhaps she is not as cool as you think and not really dating material... but very few women are like that, so i'm sure you have nothing to worry about... now, us men on the other hand... can you imagine dating a girl if you noticed something weird about her hairline??? now, be honest! My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Rahal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member hdude46 Posted November 4, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 4, 2009 I agree with these guys, your hair is fine. you got a ht in the first place so that you would stop worrying about your hair. yes, some girls, especially at your age, will care about more about how a guy looks than what he's like. but be thankful most arent like that. i have a few friends with pretty noticeable hairloss and all of them have girlfriends who could give a damn about it, and they are all very good looking. the last thing you want to do is have to start caking on dermatch, which is no good on the hairline anyway. what happens when get intimate with a girl and she runs her hands thru your hair or u spend the night at her place and their is dermatch all over the pillow...this after u just had a 3000 graph ht? kick yourself in the balls here and act like the confident guy you know u can be and u will be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member azn_guy Posted November 5, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 5, 2009 Thana, I've seen your hair, it looks good We are our own worst critics, I have a full head of hair and I keep obsessing about it. When I ask everyone else, they're like "what are you talking about?" Dont worry about it, you're good! HT with Dr. Cooley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member ScottishGuy Posted November 5, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 5, 2009 I can relate to some of this. About a month before my HT I (unexpectedly) started dating someone new. Since then I've "explained" that I've had some kind of scalp infection so I wore a hat for recent dates, and err, when having sex . I'm now at the 2 month stage where scalp redness is the main issue so I'm going to ditch the hat if we get intimate again - if my appearance is a problem then tough **** . My Hair Loss Web Site Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member thanatopsis_awry Posted November 5, 2009 Author Senior Member Share Posted November 5, 2009 Haha, ya....intimacy and the HT can be difficult enough -- no need to throw a heaping pile of dermmatch stains into the mix once the doldrums of a HT have already been dealt with. I must say that I have a newfound perspective on hairloss/restoration as I've dealt with life and lived life post-HT; not a bad thing, just yet another new thing. Btw, thanks to Balody for reminding me...I whipped out Magnum when need be and the date was a success. ----------- *A Follicles Dying Wish To Clinics* 1 top-down, 1 portrait, 1 side-shot, 1 hairline....4 photos. No flash. Follicles have asked for centuries, in ten languages, as many times so as to confuse a mathematician. Enough is enough! Give me documentation or give me death! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Mountinvan Posted November 8, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 8, 2009 Who is most worried about our hair---US! is all about self image. And selfs are the most difficult to please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member thanatopsis_awry Posted November 9, 2009 Author Senior Member Share Posted November 9, 2009 Just as an update: I now style my hair forward and texturized to kingdom come; it's a lot simpler to do, soothes the hair greed in me. Pre-HT being able to "spike" my hair up was the Holy Grail that I thought I would never again be able to do, so I had an emotional attachment to that style. I can say now, though, that I actually prefer the way this new style looks, and it's been a very positive adaptation to my HT and the continued loss I've incurred. I'm going through a lot of life-changes right now, making a HT undoable, and making the need to feel confident in my hair all the more important at the same time. It's been a positive experience to finally adapt to things, follicularly speaking at least. ----------- *A Follicles Dying Wish To Clinics* 1 top-down, 1 portrait, 1 side-shot, 1 hairline....4 photos. No flash. Follicles have asked for centuries, in ten languages, as many times so as to confuse a mathematician. Enough is enough! Give me documentation or give me death! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Thana, Let's see some photos of the new do when you get a chance :-) Finding a suitable hairstyle can take time and often change since hair is dynamic. I've been in the recent habit of shaving the sides and back down to a number 4 clip, cutting my hair to approximately an inch in length on top, combing it foward, and spiking up the bangs as best as I can. There are days where I wish I could capture and freeze my hair forever in length and style while other days, no matter what I do, I just cannot get it to look right. But I'd certainly rather have a bad hair day than no hair at all :-) Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member aaron1234 Posted November 9, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted November 9, 2009 yeah, I'd also like to see a photo update on the new hairdo. Bill, you should just grow it out for a year... you totally have plenty of density for the shaggy-dog look. Beard too... If a NW6 could look like the unabomber... wow! Dr. G: 1,000 grafts (FUT) 2008 Dr. Paul Shapiro: 2,348 grafts (FUT) 2009 ~ 1,999 grafts (FUT) 2011 ~ 300 grafts (Scar Reduction) 2013 Dr. Konior: 771 grafts (FUT) 2015 ~ 558 grafts (FUT) 2017 ~ 1,124 grafts (FUE) 2020 My Hair Transplant Journey with Shapiro Medical Group Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member thanatopsis_awry Posted November 10, 2009 Author Senior Member Share Posted November 10, 2009 Haha, I think I'll have to take some outside shots this week with the new doo in full swing. Bill, do you think we can integrate some cryogenic technologies into our hair styling regiments so as to "freeze frame" our best hair days? ----------- *A Follicles Dying Wish To Clinics* 1 top-down, 1 portrait, 1 side-shot, 1 hairline....4 photos. No flash. Follicles have asked for centuries, in ten languages, as many times so as to confuse a mathematician. Enough is enough! Give me documentation or give me death! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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