Dear Young Guys,

[thanatopsis_awry]

This isn't in direct response to anything, per say, so much as it is a summation of thoughts I have had, and from the thoughts others' have had whom I respect (Bill, PleaseGrowPlease, TheEmperor, and various others who any said "Young Guy" should be well aware of ). Young guys sitting on the fence often have the same concerns, the same expectations, and the same questions; yet, even when I give my honest answers to the aforementioned, I sometimes feel there are "stones being left unturned".

 

So, Dear Young Guys,

 

I personally take an aggressive, pro-active approach to HTs -- and getting a HT at a young age is certainly aggressive and pro-active. Yet, for however "aggressive and pro-active" we are there needs to be a simultaneous *increase* in caution and precaution. Ideally, of course, every prospective patient will be fully informed and equally cognizant in their decision, but for Young Guys it is indispensable. PleaseGrowPlease recently classified the decision as one where "It should also be a choice in where you exhaust all means of researching ,and understanding the pros and cons."

 

This is what it boils down to; but it's the exception and not the norm when I see this precept actually boil when Young Guy gets his HT. Generally speaking -- and I'll get more specific in a moment -- you should be able to read this forum for at least a full month while navigating the content, absorbing and digesting it in its entirety, and feel truly confident in your decision while being honest with yourself that you truly *are* confident and not truly -- hazardously -- desperate. It's fine to be desperate; totally understandable, and I myself was. But the desperation is an emotional reaction that needs to be compartmentalized; desperation has likely led you to wanting the HT. Fine, but now is when you need to temper and tame it with icy, cool research and honest analysis.

 

1.) I Need to Save My Youth ASAP!

 

Life is precious; our youth, particularly. It's reasonable to place a premium on preserving, if not reclaiming, this vital part of your life. I've often said in response to the risk of *getting* a HT that there are serious risks in *not* getting a HT when you are young, too. Stemming from psychological traumas inflicted by others *and* yourself, it can depress the quality of life while also interfering with your actual decisions, actions, and opportunities. MPB can take a devastating toll when it creates a physical anomaly for your age and environment; and with the non-existent empathy society weighs on this phenomena, it doesn't have to be "just in your head" to feel like a social outcast.

 

However, if you do risk a HT -- and it *is* a risk -- you must ensure the result you are *risking for* will actually be a result worth the risk! Taking into account the quality of your donor (how thick, how wavy, how thin, how straight) and the # of grafts to the size of the recipient area you can -- and should -- take the time to develop an accurate likelihood of what your result will be like. This includes seeing pictures from Clinic X of cases mimicking yours, noting the hairstyles, and also talking directly *to* such patients, if not seeing them in the flesh. Will your expectations be met when synthesized with the scarring, the recovery; will baldness still exist that will vex you; is additional loss an imminent possibility, and how will this effect you, which may simply require another procedure, but which again has a risk and recovery period that needs to be included in your *initial* analysis of getting a HT. As well, understand your "end game". Take into account the quality of your donor and your overall donor harvesting #s -- going the route of HTs, can you fight a long-term battle that will leave *you* likely satisfied with the look, or might it be some "Sisyphean Battle" that likely can't end in a victory for *your* expectations and desires. Not necessarily even a dealbreaker if not, but it's yet one more - (or +) that should be weighed.

 

 

2.) To Be Accepted; or, just accept yourself(?)

 

This can be tricky; the interplay between "simply" accepting ourselves and the vague but strong instinct to be accepted by others. Ideally, we simply wouldn't feel the need for this HT. And maybe you actually don't! Personally, and I know this to be true for many, we find ourselves in a particularly vulnerable, weakened, uninspired state -- and this can have a snowball effect on our confidence, psyche, and resulting happiness. We look to target the hair, we look to the HT, we hope the HT to solve that woe....but where will be even be standing if it is solved? It's key to not hyper-focus on the hair and the HT. Even with the HT and whatever result it might reap, you may very well still be in a stark state of want. No doubt the hair and the HT is important, but exactly how important is it? Has its importance become self-aggrandized through the "snowball effect"? Maybe, maybe not; but you owe it to yourself to find out and give yourself more information while at the very least improving another facet of your life.

 

This is why I also recommend Young Guy to do any of the following if he already isn't: join a gym, create a vigorous workout regiment, stick to it for at least one month; pick up an enriching hobby (boxing, jiu-jitsu, cooking, yoga etc.); and, finally, buzz your head. It all sounds so simple and mundane. And it kinda is. And often the most simple things are the most basic remedies that are connected to our most vital needs. At the very least: you will be more attractive, be more interesting, feel better, **and** be all the more confident in your decision to go the route of the HT.

 

3.) Force yourself to be confident(er). Right now.

 

Probably the hardest thing, but the most rewarding if done. This may or may not even effect your decision to get the HT based off of everything I've said or anything else you've read or thought. But it is the most rewarding if done, and is a life-habit worth its weight in gold. Over the backdrop of all the words to come before this, do what you will be doing with increased gusto and confidence; there really is not much more to fear than fear itself. Hairloss wrecks our confidence and zest because it impacts our perceptions of how we will be received, and so hampers our desire to do and to act, which then influences our levels of contentment and "happiness". No matter how true it is (or isn't) that our hairloss will be influencing our treatment by others, we still have ultimate authority. Whether you get a HT or not you will be judged; sometimes by bad people and sometimes badly. And when you do have hairloss, or haven't gotten the "perfect HT", it's actually all the more key to not let the perceptions of some put a leash on you acting for you. Getting a better grip on this now will just make you all the more powerful if you do get that "perfect HT".

 

My 4cents!

[kaounis]

Bless you TA. I've been saying the same things to anybody that will listen....Sometimes I blame the Dr.'s....You know who you are....

 

 

Just a thought from the peanut gallery...

[Bill - Seemiller]

Thanatopsis,

 

What a brilliant and unique blend of the technical considerations for young guys having hair transplants and the emotional impact hair loss and other factors can have on our confidence.

 

Though there is no way to be forever young, there are several things we can do to enhance our youthfulness and appearance and enrich our lives and increase our sense of self worth.

 

I'm sure our members, in particular, younger guys will appreciate the time and energy you spent into this educational post.

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

[thanatopsis_awry]

Thx Bill, and kaounis -- appreciated! It was harder than I thought to synthesize what I've felt over all this time as the most vital things surrounding a prospective, younger patient approaching the HT. Though, I think much if it applies to pretty much anyone.

 

Clinics/surgeons are quite evolved, this forum is a leader and one of the few, true bastions for patients; so, I really do think HTs are a very viable, excellent (if not ultimate) tool in "curing" baldness (though MPB itself has no cure...yet! ).

[SpaceBetween]

Amazing post thana!

 

I'm the same age as you. I've had a transplant on the mind for a couple years now. Many emotions have run through my head. I have analyzed pretty much my whole life and have decided the this transplant is the next step in helping improve my state of mind.

 

My hair situation has taken complete control and I am being as careful about this as possible.

 

I'm ready to not gain back youth as much as gain back my state of mind.

[flyby]

Very eloquent post Thana! You speak wisdom beyond your years.

[Acrobaz]

Originally posted by thanatopsis_awry:

Over the backdrop of all the words to come before this, do what you will be doing with increased gusto and confidence; there really is not much more to fear than fear itself. Hairloss wrecks our confidence and zest because it impacts our perceptions of how we will be received, and so hampers our desire to do and to act, which then influences our levels of contentment and "happiness". No matter how true it is (or isn't) that our hairloss will be influencing our treatment by others, we still have ultimate authority. Whether you get a HT or not you will be judged; sometimes by bad people and sometimes badly. And when you do have hairloss, or haven't gotten the "perfect HT", it's actually all the more key to not let the perceptions of some put a leash on you acting for you. Getting a better grip on this now will just make you all the more powerful if you do get that "perfect HT".

 

Bravo Thana - well done. We all need to work on our self-esteem before we work on our looks. The two are connected, but we can and should deal with them as discrete issues.

 

Bill - when I see posts like this, sometimes I wonder if we need an "all time top 20" section, one containing essential posts for "newbies" without the arbitrary "bumping" that we might then forget to do. If and when that happens, this one should be there!

 

Good wishes to you Thana.

[latinlotus]

Great post and great advice Thana! It should be archived on this Forum.

[lost my swagger]

Bill--- im also wondering if THIS thread can remain at the top of this section(like the FAQ and discussion thread or like the Armani lawsuit thread WAS )

 

some topics are capable of bigger impacts then others... this is, IMO, a thread(and topic) that SHOULD NOT be allowed to be lost..

 

this is a deserving topic and thana has more than proven he is a deserving poster...

 

please dont make me have to 'BUMP' this damn thing a thousand times over the next 'some odd' years........

[PLEASE GROW PLEASE]

There are alot of reasons I should hate Thana.

Just a few of the reasons are because hes younger, better looking, has more hair and is 10X smarter then me .

The only reason I dont drive to Conn and apply a vicious Omoplata is because he is not only a cool ass mo-foe but really cares about leading guys in the right direction.

He got a great result and could just forget about helping guys yet he takes the time everyday to educated and uplift us.

Great post mi amigo .

I agree this should be pasted at the top

[Bill - Seemiller]

I agree with those of you who said this is a real winner post.

 

However, I don't want to congest the top of the forum with too many featured threads.

 

Therefore, instead of adding this thread to the top, I've added this thread in the Frequently Asked Questions and Discussions featured thread and called it:

 

Considerations for Restoring Hair and Confidence in Young Guys - Topic started by "Thanatopsis_Awry"

 

That way, anyone looking for this thread in the future can easily find it from the frequently asked questions and discussions featured thread.

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

[thanatopsis_awry]

Thx for the good words everyone, I really didn't anticipate such a cool response! I've been pretty sick the past week or two so I've had a lot of time to just sit with my laptop and think while eating ice-cream ...I gave some thought to things I know would have (and have) helped me; and what I'd say if I was given but one conversation to have with a family member going through this.

 

Hairloss is tough enough...unethical doctors and deceitful forums with unleashed shills make for nightmares...which is why forums pioneered like this and filled with such quality posters are so valuable -- if not indispensible.

 

"The only reason I dont drive to Conn and apply a vicious Omoplata..." lol! One day if we roll i'll let ya play out that fantasy.

[Ceasar08]

Thana --

I've thought about writing about this before, but I'm glad it came from you. I'm now in my thirties (not old), but you are around the same age that I was when I started losing it, and probably the better one to write about it.

I truly believe one should enjoy their life and be proactive. Hair loss is definitely most noticeable and life altering when you are young.

Very well written post.

[GTDL]

Excellent thread Thana! (as if you need to be told)

[Eman]

great post thana and something every young guy should read. Trying everything in the arsenal from finasteride to shaving their head at least once, is critical prior to making this major decision. You don't want to look back and say had I only tried these things prior to having work done.

[swayzedo]

An excellent thread and definitely spot on in many respects.

 

Personally I don't want to look younger, I am happy being a 30 something and I treasure my lines and creases on my face because they are my experiences, my laughter and my tears. Losing hair has nothing to do with experience, or health or really anything.

 

In my opinion it is a useless genetic mistake that should never have been there in the first place, and that is what I want to do with a HT. Correct that which should not have been there to start with.

 

I'm sure many of you will agree with me on this matter. It's not about youth, it's just about looking the best whatever age you are and a good head of hair looks great on anybody of any age.

[yesdee78]

Great Thread.

Fact is I was ignoring my hair loss , thinking its not abt whats on top of your head that people, esp (Ladies) would choose you ... or others would be friends with you or even folks simply include you in their "cool" groups ... its eventually for what's inside it right !! WRONG -- How so naive and dumb of me !!

 

Coming from the sub-continent and despite being in Oz for the last decade or so, Tried giving the traditional partner search mechanism ( aka arranged marriage) a try. You won't or rather you all would believe how many folks/ families have knocked me back because .... of my hair or lack of it !!:rolleyes::rolleyes:.. I mean they do not make the reasons known to you so explicitly.. but I guess as you get knocked back... you realize esp if every other criteria is absolutely fine...

 

So now, as one wise person had put it..." Better late than NEVER" .. hence looking for some guidance from you seniors on this forum to help me make my decision as regards where I would do my HT.

 

Thanks in advance to all those who have contributed to this forum and hats off to the guys who created this in the first place..

 

Once again thanks for this marvelous post Thana...

(Sorry Bill if I have posted this in the wrong section....)

 

Cheers,

SD78

[NEWHAIRPLEASE]

Great post!