after 10 years of saving for an ht and im not a good candidate

[apgomez85]

So, I'm feeling pretty down because I have been balding since I was 16 when I noticed my hair was thinning. When I got to college I started saving up for an ht and using concealers. It took me a long time because I had a part time job and going to school. I also couldn't get a loan because my sister messed up my credit when I co-signed something for her. After about 3 years my hair got worse and I started wearing a hat all day not letting anyone see my hair hoping one day I will get an ht and then get rid of the hat. My friends and family obviously know why I wear the hat, but I was so insane about them not seeing the change from the ht and I just avoided the subject. It completely destroyed my social life and I was just holding on to this light at the end of the tunnel for an ht. 7 years of solitude and loneliness. So after all this time I finally get my money saved up and I'm ready to get my life back. I went to get a consult and find out that I have diffused hair loss and pretty bad one at that. I am stuck with going bald. I feel like i'm going to snap. I feel I don't have the face or head shape to look good bald.

 

Upside is I got all this money saved up. I don't know what I should do. I thought of maybe hiring someone to give me a makeover to hopefully help me find a good look for me that I just can't see. I feel unattractive. Are there any people that do this professionally and work with hair/balding looks and overall style? I was looking into image consultants, but I don't know exactly if this is what they do. I need help, I am so utterly depressed. I want to be happy again, I haven't felt that way in a long time.

[socates123]

Hey buddy I'm sorry about your condition - are you taking any medications prescribed by your doctors? What did the HT doctor say exactly? Lastly, if all else fails you might want to consider micro pigmentation there is a thread here - hope it helps.

[tacolinowest]

show us some pics

[apgomez85]

I'm not taking any medications besides propecia. The guy was a consultant from hasson and wong and he recommended I not do the surgery because I have diffuse hair loss with thinning hair.

 

I've seen the micro pigmentation thing and it's not for me because how would you explain when someone touches it and there is nothing there? there are also other factors about it that im not sure of.

 

there are pics that i posted in another thread here Worried about donor area density - Page 2 - Forum By and for Hair Loss Patients when I was wondering about my diffuse hair loss.

[Questionmark]

Hi, firstly, you don`t look bad at all, you`re an attractive, healthy young man and should jump around because life is great! Don`t worry, happiness doesn`t depend on your hair, but on the inside. Of course there are interactions, but you shouldn`t let your hair letting determing your life. Every day is precious, and you should make the best of it. Don`t waste your time on trivial topics like your hair!

 

Secondly, I don`t think at all that you would look like Frankenstein (who says that? He`s a moron) with a shaved head, in the opposite, you have a good head shape for that. I promise, I wouldn`t say that if I wouldn`t feel that way!

 

Thirdly, there still may be a way to densen up up ypur hair and bring down your hairline a bit have you consulted Dr. Umar yet? He specializes in body hair transplants, how about that possibility?

[Spanker]

I have said this before, but I think you should try a shaved head for 30 days. If you always wear a hat, it shouldn't be that big of an issue. Grow our and shape up an awesome man beard and go for it. You are a good looking kid. I promise it will work, it is stylish, and it will free you from all of this worry. There are forums for guys that just shave their heads and support each other. Check them out.

 

Try if for 30 days, and see if there is a freedom that you have never had before. There will be.

 

Then take that HT money and buy you some new clothes, maybe a motorcycle or something fun, and hit the town. You can start a new chapter in your life free from the worry of hair. If I had a good shaped head, even if I had a full head of hair, I would do it, especially if it affected me that much.

 

That said, I thing you look pretty good just like it is, but you don't, so just remove the worry.

[apgomez85]

Thanks for all the kind words. In my mind I know it's not logical to think the way I do, but I always had a stubborn mind and difficulty with the way I see things. I do pride myself with having a strong determination, so I will try shaving my head, well I'll try a really short buzz and see how it looks and work my way down to a shave if I must. I just hope it looks good or I at least can get used to it. I will also take your advise on buying some clothes. I can also get lasik for my vision. I've always stayed in shape, but now I am going to go crazy healthy and get in the best shape I can be. If I can't make my hair look good everything else will have to do. I'm really tired of being a shut-in. I used to be so out going and I miss it.

 

I've seen the body hair transplant work and I don't like how it looks curly and almost like pubic hair haha.

[Spanker]

I think you are making a good decision. Try to keep it a while and see if you like it. It may take a little time to get used to it. Also, I hope you come back and share your experience with it. It may help others who are in your situation.

 

Good idea to hit the gym. Being in good shape is and a shaved head is better than hair and being frumpy.

[tacolinowest]

im not about to argue with a h&w consultant, but i dont understand how you are not a good candidate, i have less hair than you and below average donor density and went to 2 top docs and they said i could get a ht, wasent the best candidate but they didnt refuse me

[tacolinowest]

http://www.hairrestorationnetwork.com/eve/170130-question-joetronic-pics-inside.html

here are some of my pics to show you what i mean

[apgomez85]

Your hair is better than mine. You mention that you took your pics under harsh lighting, but the ones you see in my link are not under heavy light. If you go to the first page in the link I posted there are pics under a light and you will see how bad it is.

[KO]

To be honest, I don't think you look that bad. (no homo, not that there is anything wrong with homo). Overall you seem darker skinned and well built, and that is better suited for this.

 

I can see that your sides are thinning, what you could do is shave the sides real close and buzz the top, maybe you can get fue done to build a hairline. how has fin worked for you?

[apgomez85]

I am actually pretty light skinned because I haven't exposed my face to the sun much, but I could tan well because of my latin genes lol. I will experiment with my hair and see what works.

 

At this point I don't care much about repairing the hair line if it's just going to get worse and be really expensive. I've been on fin for several years and the consultant said that if it wasn't for it my sides would be worse and probably most of the hair on top would be gone by now.

[Spanker]

Do you plan on shaving down anytime soon?!love to see some pics.

[michaeljames]

So, I'm feeling pretty down because I have been balding since I was 16 when I noticed my hair was thinning. When I got to college I started saving up for an ht and using concealers. It took me a long time because I had a part time job and going to school. I also couldn't get a loan because my sister messed up my credit when I co-signed something for her. After about 3 years my hair got worse and I started wearing a hat all day not letting anyone see my hair hoping one day I will get an ht and then get rid of the hat. My friends and family obviously know why I wear the hat, but I was so insane about them not seeing the change from the ht and I just avoided the subject. It completely destroyed my social life and I was just holding on to this light at the end of the tunnel for an ht. 7 years of solitude and loneliness. So after all this time I finally get my money saved up and I'm ready to get my life back. I went to get a consult and find out that I have diffused hair loss and pretty bad one at that. I am stuck with going bald. I feel like i'm going to snap. I feel I don't have the face or head shape to look good bald.

 

Upside is I got all this money saved up. I don't know what I should do. I thought of maybe hiring someone to give me a makeover to hopefully help me find a good look for me that I just can't see. I feel unattractive. Are there any people that do this professionally and work with hair/balding looks and overall style? I was looking into image consultants, but I don't know exactly if this is what they do. I need help, I am so utterly depressed. I want to be happy again, I haven't felt that way in a long time.

 

Hello apgomez85,

 

I deeply empathize with you mate; but we are always more then the sum of our physical appearance. That being said I took a look at your photos. Since you have olive skin and dark hair you could go with the look very similar to Tony Parker, of the Chicago Bulls in the NBA. Not saying you have the same face or appearance but Tony has been sporting that look since early in his career.with some enhancements. Perhaps you have enough donor hair to have a redesigned FUE hairline & augment with SMP. I think you will find yourself happy with that solution. Wishing you all the Best, Michael

[apgomez85]

I will try tomorrow and see how the buzzed look is like. I'll post some pics.

 

I don't know about SMP because of my progress with MPB and I'm not comfortable with it just being a tattoo. I've seen some pics and I can tell on a lot of them that it looks artificial and also if someone were to touch it they would be able to tell there is no hair there. Also, I am not olive skinned lol. The pictures I posted were in a dim lit room, so it just seems like it, but I am actually pretty light almost pale. I could get a slightly darker tone, I'm just pale because I'm indoors a lot, but I'm not as brown as tony parker.

[apgomez85]

So I buzzed down to a #3 size. Maybe it will look better if a barber does it. I also think I will have to go shorter, but I get a sense of what I'm going to look like. I'm still not brave enough lol. It's really hard for me to accept it. I think I look weird, plus I have like veins and bumps. I don't know if it's from wearing a hat all day. Hopefully I can make it go away. i attached some pics. I am under the light in my room. A dim light though.

[tacolinowest]

looks pretty good, for now, i still cant believe you are not a candidate

[apgomez85]

I know. i just have really bad luck in life. I don't think you can tell from the pics, but they say a ht is half the density of your donor area and if that is the case it would not have turned out well.

[tacolinowest]

ohhh i dont like the way that sounds,, cuz mine is see threw as well and im goin in next week

[Questionmark]

It looks good, I really don`t understand why you`re having issues about your appearance, and you look kind of happy on the pictures.

Actually, was H&W the only clinic you had concersation with? Perhaps you could post a clearer pic of your donor under harsh (or at least some) lighting, because I don`t think that one could not extract about 2000 grafts or so from that. If you`ll add some more 2000 from your chest hair, you could get down your hairline about 1 or two centimeters down and dense up the rest. (For a shortcut bodyhair doens`t make a difference imho).

 

With your shortcut,, I promise it will look awesome, and you won`t need any styling coach :-)

 

So I would advise you to talk to at least 4-5 other clinics to get their professional input.

[apgomez85]

Hasson and wong was the only clinic I talked to, but they are among the best and I was expecting this myself because of how diffused it is. I'll try to get some under harsh lighting today.

 

I dont know what you can tell from the pictures but I have been staying home by myself for 7+ years because I dont want people to see me too much. When I do go out I wear my hat and feel incredibly sad about my appearance. After a while of being couped up, it takes a toll. I wish I had the bravery to just deal with it and say to hell with it, but I don't.

[tacolinowest]

There is nothing abnormal about the way u look,, nor are you at all ugly in any way, jus sayin

[JohnnyDrama]

Dude, get out! There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you look. I'd actually go as far as to say you look better with tight hair than the majority of other blokes. I know when I buzz my hair in the coming months, I'm not going to be able to pull it off. You can!

 

Get out, go to the gym, get some fresh air into your lungs and get chatting to some ladies!

[apgomez85]

Thanks guys. I am working out. Started P90x yesterday again. Ive done it before, but this time Ill do it with a good diet plan. I was also thinking about joining meetup.com and doing some hiking or music stuff with some new people. Ill go without my hat. I think the hardest part of this whole thing is showing my friends and family because they havent seen me without a hat for years so its going to be strange. They are good people and they know already that im balding so i think they will be supportive. Im working up to have the courage. I want to get used to it myself and accept it first.

Edited April 23, 2013 by apgomez85