please please please help me

[nitelite2003]

My name is chris and I am 27 years old and I have been suffering with something that has taken over my life over the past 7 years and I don’t know what to do about it I have tied to take my own life and have sadly failed by my mother catching me in the process of it and if I am honest I just want my life to be over that’s how I feel at the moment

 

I have been suffering with hairloss for over 10 years now well since I was 17 I started to notice it and its gotten worse over the past few years and not I don’t go out I don’t work and I wear a cap n my head constantly I am so afraid of people seeing me and the how ugly my hair is well what’s left of it is all that I can say

 

I used to be a happy go lucky kind of guy who loved and lived life to its fullest and then 3 years ago my life completely changed I noticed that my hair was getting thinner and thinner on the top and at the front and I went to see my doctor who told me t just get over it and that it will continue to fall out and I need to grow up and face the fact that I am loosing my hair I did not understand why I was as my brother in there 30s have all there hair and my dad was in his late 40s when he started loosing his well I left the surgery in floods of tears and did not know what to do for days I just sat in my room with my head covered not wanting to see what I had been seeing in the mirror I had turned into this ugly person with the only thing let to look at was my horrid baldness my life just crumbled in front of me I felt tat I had lost everything in my life and did not want this anymore.

 

The days seemed to get much worse my self confidence completely drained away I did not leave the house unless I had to and even then it was always with a cap on there is no mirrors in my house what so ever now and I have become a total recluse because of this my life now is 4 walls and a tv that all that I have left in my life now

 

I got to the point where I could not wake u every morning no more with this thing that has taken over my life so I decided I wanted to end it all I got 120 pain killers 30mg codeine over 500mg of paracetamol and I took them at home while my mum was at work but she came home early that day and found me called an ambulance and I woken up in hospital with my mom standing next to me and all i wanted to do was not wake up at all I thought that I had ended it all but because my mum found me I had to live through it all again.

 

I have got to the point now where I don’t know what to do any more and I just don’t want to be here I cant live with this thing that’s happening to me it has effected me so much and taken over me and my life and I don’t know who to turn too I am not a rich person and I don’t have much money but I feel that you maybe my last resort and I am begging you for your help

[PanamaJimmy]

Nitelite2003,

 

It might seem like nobody can relate when you feel that down, but trust me, I've been there and so have many others. It doesn't seem like it now, but your Mother's early return from work was a blessing and happened for a reason. Don't forget that.

 

The most important thing here is that you've got to face the fact that you have a problem with depression. A severe problem. People don't attempt suicide for any reason unless there is a severe depression issue. Yes, your hairloss may have triggered the way you feel and set off a deep depression, but please realize, for anyone losing their hair, trying to kill yourself is well outside of a normal reaction. Thousands of men your age or younger every day face the same grief from hairloss without attempting suicide. Just realize you have a problem with depression and you need help. That is the first step to recovery.

 

Before you deal with anything related to hair loss you need to get help from a psychiatrist. It is nothing to be ashamed of. A good shrink can help WAY more than a Hair Transplant. If you don't have money for a shrink, immerse yourself in research about depression. Find a support group locally or a depression forum on the Internet. Having a chemical imbalance in your brain is very possible to fix with the right meds, and once you do, you will no longer feel suicidal about your hair loss.

 

Also, remember that life is cyclical. Bad times eventually turn around, and when they come back again, as they always do, you'll be better prepared and wiser. You WILL get through this my friend. Although it doesn't seem like it, there WILL be many amazing things in your future. Please, focus on getting help for your depression and then you will be able to focus with clarity on other relatively minor issues, and yes, in the whole scheme of life hair loss actually is a very minor issue. There are a lot of people who care on this site, so please reach out to any of us and know that we are here!

 

Panama Jimmy

[gunny]

Very compassionate and accurate response Panama. I feel for Chris, but you're right, he needs his head in a much better place before contemplating HT. Tbhis forum is truly a place of brothers with common issues and common concerns. I'm glad to be a small part of it.

[MikeTheDane]

I agree that you should wait until you are more mentally stabile, as a HT is a permanent commitment.

 

I am sorry that you feel so bad about your hairloss. And I understand how you feel to some point, though I never felt so bad that I wanted to end my life.

 

Believe it or not, there is much more to life than hair. There are plenty of bald men out there your age, so it's not like you're a stand-alone freak, you just drew the short straw in genetics like the rest of us on this site. We stand by you. And if you do decide to commit yourself to hair transplantation, I suggest that you start working on your inner demons first.

 

I know that restoring your hair might be the catalyst for you to feel good about yourself again, but life will have it's ups and downs. You can't let something so trivial (it doesn't feel trivial, but in reality it is) be enough to end your life.

 

My suggestion is that you shave down, hit the gym, see a psychologist, get yourself a social circle and receive some positive responses from the people around you, and ultimately you will care less for your lack of hair. When that time comes, consider a hairtransplant if you still care enough about it.

 

All the best, and if you feel like talking feel free to PM me.

[Sparky]

If you get an HT while you are in this state and it doesnt turn out how you would hope, you'll end up even more upset, i've been there. I have 4 bad HT's and that drove me into depression, and now i've had corrective surgery (5 weeks post op) so I was at the point where I wished I was in your shoes with less hair because of my bad surgery, at some points I just wish that I had faced the fact that I was going bald as it was better than having a scarred up head. Bald is still very normal looking but bad hair transplants look terrible.

 

By the way, your doctor should be struck off for being so uncompassionate.

[IamShedding]

Wow ! ! ! All the posts in this thread were just what I needed to hear. But I still need to hear more.

 

I'm like Chris. Really stressing over my hair loss. Not to the point of clinical depression or suicide, but very stressful. I would just shave my head but I know I can't "carry off" that look.

 

There's no way I can afford a procedure at this point. This recessive economy has all but made me homeless.

 

I was considering offering myself as a "guinea pig" for new surgeons to practice on. (if there is such a thing) But now I know I definitely don't want a botched procedure.

 

Does anyone know of a way a person living in poverty can get a transplant?

 

I'm sure your feeling is that should be the least of my concerns. And I should worry about a roof over my head and food on the table. But believe it or not, (and I wont go into details now) but a full head of hair would be one step in the path of my getting out of poverty.

 

I want to say to Chris - Hang in there, buddy! You're not alone. If you feel like the Lone Ranger, then I'm your Tonto. And there's many more just like us.

[Megatron]

whenever I feel down I hit the gym or go for a run and that snaps me out of it 99% of the time. it's partly because of the "workout high" and partly because it satisfies my vanity obsession. working out may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I think it's very important to find something that you find rewarding and to do it. there must be effort in your action or else you won't appreciate the result. it's like the saying "you only get out what you put in". positive, constructive action could include things like calling up that girl you used to know, approaching someone new in the grocery store, completing a home project, joining a new gym, trying a different work out method, learning an instrument, playing a new sport, re-establishing a good friendship, writing in a journal, or just reading a book.

 

also, I think it's important to realize that our hair concerns us A LOT MORE then it does anyone else. if you're considering a HT, do it for yourself first and foremost, not because you expect it to generate new girlfriends, friends, money, happiness etc...

[the B spot]

Hang in there buddy!!!! A HT is the least of your concerns right now, trust me. Like the others have said, just buzz the darn stuff down, get a tan and start thinking about what YOU want to do with your life...get a degree, learn another language, take a trip, work on your body, join a chess club...anything!!!

 

In your present condition your not a candidate for a HT...glad you came on here for advice and opened up...your going to be much better off....read the stories of guys who were in the same situation as yourself who scraped together 5-6 grand and got stuck.

 

Please continue to let us know how your doing and what your working on!

 

Jason

[nitelite2003]

hi guys thanks for all your replies and support