people making fun of hairloss

[hoose]

I was at my Grandma's for a family get together on Sunday. Her neighbor stopped over on his golf cart (too lazy to walk 50 yards). The guy is about 55, Norwood 1; major white trash, 150 lbs overweight and uses a machine to help him talk because he had cancer due to smoking/chewing/drinking all of his life. He says "Oh, you are losing your hair." I kind of just went along with it. Man I wanted to rip on his physical flaws, but I bit my tongue cause my family was there. I mean, that's like the pot calling the kettle black. I wanted to tell him to lose some weight and learn how to talk without a machine but I didn't want to create a scene. Doesn't that just piss you off when people are like that? I guess I want to vent a little. If I see him some other time and nobody is around, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind-lol

[hoose]

I was at my Grandma's for a family get together on Sunday. Her neighbor stopped over on his golf cart (too lazy to walk 50 yards). The guy is about 55, Norwood 1; major white trash, 150 lbs overweight and uses a machine to help him talk because he had cancer due to smoking/chewing/drinking all of his life. He says "Oh, you are losing your hair." I kind of just went along with it. Man I wanted to rip on his physical flaws, but I bit my tongue cause my family was there. I mean, that's like the pot calling the kettle black. I wanted to tell him to lose some weight and learn how to talk without a machine but I didn't want to create a scene. Doesn't that just piss you off when people are like that? I guess I want to vent a little. If I see him some other time and nobody is around, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind-lol

[Spursman]

I get this allot to.

 

i have thought of a good response tho that works for me.

 

"wow you lost more hair"

 

"really i didnt realise, but the lack of growth on my head went somewhere else if you know what i mean, so the ladies dont mind"

 

that soon shuts most people up.

 

also had an argument with a mate, he was being a dick with me and he said grown some hair baldy!

 

He has got loads of hair so i said, "errm hold on a minute. what have you got more then me apart from hair? i got a nicer body then you, im bigger then u in the trouser department, i got more money then you, better job, a long term girlfriend and i dont live and home with mummy & daddy" he soon shut his mouth.

 

he called me baldy infront of my other mates so they was calling him a tosser and that i got more going for me then him, i made him feel soooo small. took him to one side later on in the night and told him if he ever tried to show me up infront of people again i will have him! he shit himself!

 

That will teach him for trying to get to me! harsh but this guy thinks he is gods girft and he really isnt!

[FacelessMan]

Sad, actually, how insecurity makes people focus on the most ridiculous things...so someone's bald; so what? a) it's a natural process that nobody exactly asked for and b) surprise, this whole website is packed (densely packed, ha ha) with people who have shown that you can basically correct it...

 

Hair is changeable...stupid is forever

[troy]

Yes it does hurt when people tease you in areas that we are insecure. I have used this as a learning expirience in my life to have compasion on people who go through things, now I can relate to thier insecurities. I personally dont like the "take revenge approach" but believe you should pick your battles. I dont think that battle was woth fighting, I pity that guy, hes half dead and miserable trying to get anyone down he can- dont let him steal your joy. The good news is you can get a HT, what can he do?

[Ty]

I'm 21 and ive lost a considerable amount in the temporal region and am thinning over the top. So far no one's really been mean to me, but I am very, very self-conscious. I'm trying to get past it but it is pretty hard.

 

The worst I've experienced hasn't been any actual comments, just looks. I can obviously tell peoples eyes are wandering upward when they talk to me. Also, only one of my friends is even somewhat balding and he is Norwood 1.5 if anything. He always complains about losing his hair, but I don't want to say anything because I don't want any more attention drawn to my dome-piece.

 

It just sucks.

[MrJobi]

Yeah

 

Unfortunately we live in a competitive , image conscious society ( yes, and people are assholes sometimes too) .. This is why we hate losing our hair or getting fat etc... Everyone wants to look their best and hairloss sucks cuz u have no control.. I can tell you this is why I got my 2 HT's as I want to look my best .. I admit, I am vain

[JakeVig]

Unfortunately I'd rather be fat than bald because with enough committment you can lose weight (I managed to lose 14 kgs in 8 months myself). Sadly this is not the case with hairloss. If you're cursed to be heading for a NW7 there is not much you can do but learn to live with it.

 

Unfortunately my friends do tease me infront of strangers - which really sucks! There is nothing worse than talking up a girl and have your mates tell them that you are going bald.

 

At these times I generally go the silent treatment which helps cut the conversation topic short and hopefully sends the sublimal messages that a) I don't like hearing about it and b) it isn't funny.

[scooping around]

yea, i think everyone that is going bald that has any kind of social life will face others joking about our hair. It's the worst when someone that shouldn't be making fun of others' appearance and doing it. I don't usually talk back, because I don't want to put myself down their level, but my friends know that the only thing that asshole has on me is more hair. I wonder how that asshole would act towards me, if I went through with a HT and have a full head of hair?

[MrJobi]

Hi Guys

 

I would say somthing to your friends if I were you. I'm sure if you mentioned something sensitive to them ( like when their girlfriend cheated on them or their fat wife) they would get upset as well. At my age, I'm not going to spend time with people who are insensitive pricks. High school is over..

[Ty]

Mrjb,

 

Most of the time friends will just be looking for a quick laugh. I dont think this necessarily makes them insensitive or pricks. When they continue, thats a different story alltogether.

 

However, its not so much that they are looking for a quick laugh, its that chicks hear this kinda thing. then they start looking up and realizing that they are about to go home with some BALD dude...and then its back to the drawing board.

 

I personally dont think its that big of a deal when friends poke fun - the bigger deal you make, the bigger deal they'll make is what I've found.

[wesley949]

Dhoose75:

 

I had a similar experience where I did stand up for myself in front of everyone and it was ugly. I had worked with a guy who was 20 years older than me. He was overweight and married and I was single, had a great head of hair, was in great shape and was dating all the woman he would stop in my office to talk about. Fast forward 8 years---I had left the organization for a new job, had gotten married and had started to lose my hair. I recieved an inviation to a retirement party for someone who was retiring from my former employer's place of business. Well I had not seen these folks for years and we are sitting having dinner and this fat ass yells across the room to me as loud as he could--hey (my last name)you're losing your hair- as if i did not know this. My friend remembered me as a well mannered, junior member of the organization.(It was my first real job out of college). Well, I turned around and yelled back at him something to the effect that he was still a big fat ass. He was devastated and could not respond. No one said a word, although I knew they were emabarassed for me but I felt they were happy I stood up for myself because this guy was considered a big mouth. Later that evening our paths crossed in the mens's room and he said to me that he was really disappointed by my behavior and he was just trying to be funny. I looked him right in his eyes and said you were only being mean and were trying to embarrass me. I turned and walked out and we have not spoken since. Beware when someone starts a conversation with " I don't mean to hurt your feelings but" One of the reasons I did what I did was that I was on the road alot at the time and was listening to self-help tapes/positive thinking stuff and the one tape focused on victimization so my brain was well-programmed to defend itself against this prick.

[hoose]

Thanks for the reply's everybody. I guess I don't feel all alone in this.

[PCC]

I have endured countless snide comments/questions and funny looks about my hair over the years. It seems like more often than not the offender is someone with hair down into their eyebrows. Sadly there will always be those who feel compelled to put down others to compensate for their own insecurities. The one I got constantly in the beginning "Did you know you're going bald?". This was so ignorant that it was almost laughable. A couple times I sarcastically replied "Gee, no I didn't. I only spend so much time in the mirror every morning because I enjoy it. You saved my life. Don't know what I'd do without you"!

 

Phil

[wesley949]

PCC:

Isn't it amazing that so many of us have been made aware of our thinning hairlines by others-do these people actually think we are unaware. Its like seeing someone overweight and doing them a favor by telling them--heh-I don't know if you are aware of the fact that you are getting to be obese.

[MrJobi]

Hi

 

Basically people are insensitive and hve no manners. I would never comment on someones physical "challenges" let alone in a public gathering.. It is unacceptable and I don't care who it is.. It shows a lack of class.. period.. If someone did it to me I would simply state.. I don't appreciate your comment..or something a little more embarrasing

[Guest]

I have an uncle who has been ridiculing me for more than a decade now in front of family and friends. The ironic thing is he's also balding!

I no longer live in my home country but am due to return soon. I know he's going to be straight into me about having more hair since I'm about 5 months post-op.

I will pull him aside quietly and put him straight and basically tell him I will put him on his ass if he mentions it once more.

Some people cannot be treated in a civilised manner.

Saying that I have put up with many jokes over the years that haven't worried me. I do it myself to others but there is a limit. To belittle someone in public about a sensitive issue for more than a decade is where I draw the line.

[hairbank]

Everyone approaches this differently. People are people, and no two are alike. Sure, there are going to be people who like to put you down, sometimes with the attitude "I was just joking", when in reality they were putting you down to feel better about themselves. I've also experienced this personally.

 

I used to be sensitive about hair loss, and still would have preferred not to experience it. However, along the way (before HT's) I tried not to let it bother me, laughed it off and moved on. Troy made a good point on this thread..........."don't let him steal your joy". When you let it bother you, it's almost like you are imprisoned in a cell with the idiot who made the thoughtless comment..........however, you're the only one with the key to let yourself out.

[PCC]

Ah the famous "I'm just messing with you" explanation. I know this one all too well. I've had people announce my hairloss and/or transplants publicly (once by a coworker I have a very intense "Love-Hate" relationship with) and others who have questioned and commented to me about it privately. Either way it is inappropriate, uncomfortable, and not appreciated. You try your best to shrug it off but it's hard sometimes. For me it has definately been an example of "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

 

Phil

[FacelessMan]

Let's see...the only thing I remember was, once, at some office going-away dinner for a coworker, I was standing up taking my half-serious turn at a goodbye toast, and our big boss (who by that time, along with most everyone else, was past buzzed) said something like "Get a hair transplant -- quick!"

 

The funny thing was, it didn't bother me because I thought he was putting me down; it was one those office cultures where we all teased each other, mercilessly, on a routine basis (fun in a warped sort of way). Or, because anyone really gave a damn about how much hair I or anybody had. It was more that I was already unhappy with how it looked, didn't even think about a HT back then (maybe a good thing; this was 1995) and having someone else point it out was a reminder that my scalp situation wasn't just my imagination!

[wesley949]

I don't think hair loss bothers most people after they have lost their hair, have partners, a good career,etc. The terrible part of losing hair is when you just start to lose it. This usually starts happenning when someone is in their early 20's. In my case, I always had alot of girls that liked me and several used to love to run their fingers through my hair. I know that sounds like I am a sick egotist but it was always done very light-heartedly like "Bill, you have such beautiful black hair. Now as those of us have gotten older have learned, there are more important things going on in the world and in most of lives now, but that is not the case early on. You are embarrassed when people mention it at a young age and you are embarrassed when people you know who are nice don't mention it, but feel sorry for you. I am at 6 months and one week post HT and finally I am starting to see some real growth. It is truly a kick in the ass to see this happening---not because I am so worried about my hair now--it is great to be able to control another part of my life. It would always seem unfair when I would stay in shape, not smoke and I would run in to a guy who drank alot,smoked and didn't excercise and still looked 10 years younger than me because he still had his hair. I can't wait to get my second procedure done in January, 07

[HAIRBALD]

This always seems to be from people who have a head full of hair. I have never had another bald person give me grief and I'm 40. Been losing my hair since 21. I like the ones who tell me I'm vain. My usual response is "...and you're obviously not."