New relationship...need advice

[Performart123]

Hey...I have been reading this forum for a while but just joined. I am 26 and started experiencing extreme hair loss at an early age. Like many people here, I got on Propecia and it worked wonders for me. I got a 1800 HT last year and I am really happy with the results. I secured my front (mature) hairline and the right side of my head so I could part my hair. In addition, I came out as gay last year. Last year was rough to say the least. I am a former D1 athlete and very masculine. Everyone who I tell is shocked. I have been dating someone for the last 3 months and I am in love. However, my left side is thinning a bit. Nothing too crazy but I know I have to deal with it. As I fall more for this guy every week my anxiety level increases. I am afraid he will see this too. I dont really know what to do. I am meeting with my doctor next week to discuss the results. Should I just tell my bf and hopefully relieve the anxiety? Like many young guys here, I am happy I got the HT but scarred of the next step. It was such a long process and I am a working professional. I was thinking I could keep replenishing with smaller FUE sessions every few years but I recently read the quality and amount aren't as good. Any advice or comments would be awesome.

[why oh why]

i have not had a HT, so i can't necessarily comment on that, or the feelings towards disclosure of having had one.

 

However, i know full well the anxiety that comes with thinning and new relationships. While it can be stressful dealing with the anxiety of "will they notice", it is definitely something that can ooze out and infect the aura of the relationship. My best advice is to just flat try and not worry about it. If the other person is going to be shallow enough to ditch you cause you're losing a little up top, then they probably aren't worth the anxiety. the best thing to do is to try and relax. the more confidence and fun you exude, the better. just relax, know that you're talking to your doc (if a second ht or whatever is the route you wish to go) and take things in stride.

[youngsuccess]

What you're experiencing is normal and completely understandable: No guy wants to go around advertising the fact that he's had a hair transplant. However, if you're planning on making a long-term commitment to both your hair and your partner, it's inevitably going to come up at some point. The closer you get, the less privacy you'll have; it will become much harder to keep something like this hidden, especially since hair loss is progressive.

 

I was able to disguise the work I had done from my girlfriend for years, but there were random periods when I seemed distant and unaffectionate due to all of the sneaking around and recovery downtime. Everything turned out A-OK when I finally came clean.

 

There's no reason to rush into talking about it if you're not in the right comfort zone yet, but if keeping the secret bottled up starts to negatively affect the relationship, then it's probably time to open up before you do more harm than good.

[Maxxy]

Of course you're going be nervous and scarred about telling him but it's going be difficult hiding future procedures, even with small FUE sessions questions will arise.

 

Would you think less of him if he told you he had work done or planned on getting work done? Of course not... so if he does, then maybe he isn't the one for you.

[Am0986]

I am glad this topic came up. I am going through the same thing with my relationship. Except my gf is a hair stylist so she wants to cut my hair. I have so much anxiety so I think I am just going to tell her.

[MikeTheDane]

I think you should just come clean. On the bright side, a man would in general have an easier time understanding why you did it than a woman would.

[SoccerBoy]

Always be honest. I lost a relationship for literally this reason, lying to my partner about why i became so distant. Someone mentioned something golden earlier, "what would you say if he came with this to you?" Always a good rule of thumb to see how you would react if the tables were turned.

[Spanker]

If he is as serious about you as you are about him then you should tell him. Clearing the air might be hard, but you will feel like you can breathe. If you are a masculine gay athlete....coming clean to your partner about a transplant should be way easier than coming out.

[LadyNeedsHair]

I think you have had a lot of anxiety over a lot of things and it would help you to share this with him. If he cares for you like you do for him, it will probably end up being a great support system and a step forward in your relationship. Isn't it about being who we really are anyway? You are in love! Don't let this complicate things, take a deep breath, tell him and you will be relieved and can go forward to the good stuff

[ziggy00]

I'm sure telling him would help with the anxiety, but I agree with youngsuccess: you don't have to rush into it yet. It is still early in your relationship and if you're not comfortable you can still wait. Just make sure you aren't pulling away too much. Good luck!