Depression and stress, dealing with a failed HT

[Jay00]

Well, my life changed on March 2021. They say you live and you learn, the past is the past. It’s easier said than understood. I try not to stress about it but it’s impossible. My life has drastically changed, I was very social always outside having fun. Since my failed HT, I don’t have the same drive and motivation to go out. I barely see my family. At this point, I am very depressed and I hope things change for the better. Luckily I have a surgery date for next month, I’m hoping everything goes well and actually help me gain my old self back. At this time, I am mentally suffering. Has any dealt with this type of situation before? And what did you do to help improve your mental state. 

[HappyMan2021]

reading your post history it looks like your surgeon is Dr. Mwamba? I actually had my own repair surgery with him earlier this month. 

any indication if he can fix you in one round, or are you looking at multiple procedures?

my advice would be different for you if you were at the very beginning of the repair journey, or coming hot fresh from a botched job. 

but since your surgery is next month, I say just stop thinking about your hair situation as much as possible, relax, and just try to enjoy life until next month. 

Mwamba is one of the top repair docs in the world. I'm sure his treatment plan will be the best thing that anyone can offer you. 

[RTC]

Stay strong bro. I have been there. Mwamba will sort you out.

[AlexMeister21]

I just took a look at your transplant thread. I think one thing you can be grateful for is that it looks like your hair loss is very minimal. I know it sucks that you have to get your donor repaired, but I guess it's a better position to be in than if you had advanced hair loss and a compromised donor area because then you have to be more picky where to allocate your grafts. Toppik would probably work really well to hide your thin areas until you have your repair next month. 

As for me, I'm close to 7 months post-op of my second procedure. I still have growing left, but I pretty much already concluded that the result will be subpar in the end. I do get depressed at times thinking that I spent 24k on one of the most expensive docs in America and am left with almost an inch wide FUT scar and subpar results, but I also realize that there are way worse things to deal with in life than hair loss or repairs. Some people have disabilities or situations that they can't fix at all. We at least have options, though it may be expensive and inconvenient. 

Edited June 15, 2022 by AlexMeister21

[Chetman2112]

I’m sorry you have to go through this, although it’s good that you shared your story here have you thought about posting on Instagram, I noticed Dr Ziering posted some pics of an African American man stating he is an expert with African hair, well we know that’s not true and you may be able to help someone avoid the pain your going through.  Also can I suggest seeking out a very experienced barber, a very good barber can make a huge difference in hiding imperfections, stay positive, Dr. Mwamba is one of the best and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Other suggestions, are you into working out, exercise and getting in shape is a huge confident boost, find some cool hats that you can rock for now, life will get better, hang in there! 

Edited June 15, 2022 by Chetman2112

[Jay00]

5 hours ago, HappyMan2021 said:

reading your post history it looks like your surgeon is Dr. Mwamba? I actually had my own repair surgery with him earlier this month. 

any indication if he can fix you in one round, or are you looking at multiple procedures?

my advice would be different for you if you were at the very beginning of the repair journey, or coming hot fresh from a botched job. 

but since your surgery is next month, I say just stop thinking about your hair situation as much as possible, relax, and just try to enjoy life until next month. 

Mwamba is one of the top repair docs in the world. I'm sure his treatment plan will be the best thing that anyone can offer you. 

Thanks bro. How did you repair go? You like the results?

[Jay00]

5 hours ago, Aslitarcan sucks said:

Stay strong bro. I have been there. Mwamba will sort you out.

Thanks bro 

[Jay00]

2 hours ago, AlexMeister21 said:

I just took a look at your transplant thread. I think one thing you can be grateful for is that it looks like your hair loss is very minimal. I know it sucks that you have to get your donor repaired, but I guess it's a better position to be in than if you had advanced hair loss and a compromised donor area because then you have to be more picky where to allocate your grafts. Toppik would probably work really well to hide your thin areas until you have your repair next month. 

As for me, I'm close to 7 months post-op of my second procedure. I still have growing left, but I pretty much already concluded that the result will be subpar in the end. I do get depressed at times thinking that I spent 24k on one of the most expensive docs in America and am left with almost an inch wide FUT scar and subpar results, but I also realize that there are way worse things to deal with in life than hair loss or repairs. Some people have disabilities or situations that they can't fix at all. We at least have options, though it may be expensive and inconvenient. 

Yeah man I try hard not to think about it. Like not much was wrong with me before the surgery, now my hair is literally a problem for me 

[Jay00]

2 hours ago, Chetman2112 said:

I’m sorry you have to go through this, although it’s good that you shared your story here have you thought about posting on Instagram, I noticed Dr Ziering posted some pics of an African American man stating he is an expert with African hair, well we know that’s not true and you may be able to help someone avoid the pain your going through.  Also can I suggest seeking out a very experienced barber, a very good barber can make a huge difference in hiding imperfections, stay positive, Dr. Mwamba is one of the best and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Other suggestions, are you into working out, exercise and getting in shape is a huge confident boost, find some cool hats that you can rock for now, life will get better, hang in there! 

He gave me back full refund. One of the agreements we had, to not post on social media or make reviews about it (I kid you not) 

[SimpleLife]

I'm in the exact same spot bro. I feel you. Used to be motivated, doing fun stuff with friends, hitting on girls, doing business etc. Now I am the exact opposite. Self isolation, suicidal thoughts & depression. 

Cant even open up about it to the people around me, the embarrassment is real

What keeps me going is that I dont want to fail my mother. The idea that all the effort she put into raising me, only for her son to end up as a pathetic weirdo with nothing going on in his life kills me

I'm actually writing a post for people with a botched hair transplant, I hope that it will help

Short term do anything to keep your mind busy, during times like this you cant afford to think about past mistakes. Focusing on things you cant control is the ultimate recipe to be miserable. Read about other peoples life stories that go through hard times, workout, go for a walk, connect with people on this forum, see a hooker etc. Also dont listen to any expressive or sad music.

Remember, when everything is fixed you'll bounce back 100x. Look forward to that revolution & new chapter in life. 

[Jay00]

48 minutes ago, SimpleLife said:

I'm in the exact same spot bro. I feel you. Used to be motivated, doing fun stuff with friends, hitting on girls, doing business etc. Now I am the exact opposite. Self isolation, suicidal thoughts & depression. 

Cant even open up about it to the people around me, the embarrassment is real

What keeps me going is that I dont want to fail my mother. The idea that all the effort she put into raising me, only for her son to end up as a pathetic weirdo with nothing going on in his life kills me

I'm actually writing a post for people with a botched hair transplant, I hope that it will help

Short term do anything to keep your mind busy, during times like this you cant afford to think about past mistakes. Focusing on things you cant control is the ultimate recipe to be miserable. Read about other peoples life stories that go through hard times, workout, go for a walk, connect with people on this forum, see a hooker etc. Also dont listen to any expressive or sad music.

Remember, when everything is fixed you'll bounce back 100x. Look forward to that revolution & new chapter in life. 

Really appreciate you taking your time and express what you’re going through. This helps a lot as it shows that I’m not the sole person dealing with a failed HT.  I’ll definitely start hitting the gym and see my family more often. Knowing that my surgery is around the corner also gives me the boost I need for the short term. 
 

Are you planning on repairing yours? How’s it going so far?

[SimpleLife]

3 minutes ago, Jay00 said:

Really appreciate you taking your time and express what you’re going through. This helps a lot as it shows that I’m not the sole person dealing with a failed HT.  I’ll definitely start hitting the gym and see my family more often. Knowing that my surgery is around the corner also gives me the boost I need for the short term. 
 

Are you planning on repairing yours? How’s it going so far?

Good to hear man, see it as a test you have to go through

I'm currently in the stage of doing consultations. Will see dr Mwamba as well at the end of the month. So far most doctors told me I'm doomed & my plan is not realistic but I have spoken to some that are willing to take on my case so there is hope. 

[HappyMan2021]

6 hours ago, Jay00 said:

Thanks bro. How did you repair go? You like the results?

yea!!!! as long as all the hair grows in im really confident its going to be a killer result. 

My issue was badly angled grafts - my donor area was actually perfect still. So my case seems different than yours and I'm not sure how Mwamba will approach yours. 

But I'm sure Mwamba has seen your exact situation hundreds (thousands?) of times before and will do everything he can to make you right. 

[AB2000]

13 hours ago, Jay00 said:

Well, my life changed on March 2021. They say you live and you learn, the past is the past. It’s easier said than understood. I try not to stress about it but it’s impossible. My life has drastically changed, I was very social always outside having fun. Since my failed HT, I don’t have the same drive and motivation to go out. I barely see my family. At this point, I am very depressed and I hope things change for the better. Luckily I have a surgery date for next month, I’m hoping everything goes well and actually help me gain my old self back. At this time, I am mentally suffering. Has any dealt with this type of situation before? And what did you do to help improve your mental state. 

Once depression is far enough along, altering brain function it's not a simple matter of thinking positive thoughts to get out the trajectory.  You might have to look into medication to help in your recovery if other things like exercise, rest and changing your circumstances don't work.

[Chetman2112]

9 hours ago, Jay00 said:

He gave me back full refund. One of the agreements we had, to not post on social media or make reviews about it (I kid you not) 

Well you can’t comment but I can and I will, these surgeons who only care about themselves and money need to be stopped from hurting more people, it’s disgusting and unethical!

[Stewie]

can I ask, how bad actually are your HT? I got talked into a HT when I was 19 in 1996, nothing about it was a good idea, I didn't have my wits about me back then and they made it sound like just what I needed, I ended up going crazy bald very fast (a family trait) so by early 20s I had nothing on top apart from some plugs around the front, I shaved them short and got on with my life, I could here jokes for years about them when they grew longer etc (as I was lazy cutting my hair) and then I took the plunge in early 30s and got them lazered out over 5 sessions, there wasn't that many hair but I just wanted them gone, since then I have had two FUE procedures recently. My point being surely this is not as bad as you think? a failed HT surely most of the time means crappy hair that you trim right back? or am I missing something? or worse case do what took me over ten years to realise is that I can get rid of them

[MachoVato]

Have you had your bloodwork checked? Have you considered checking your testosterone and estrogen levels? 

Hormone imbalance can cause all kinds of issues. 

Edited June 15, 2022 by MachoVato

[Stewie]

Also I don't take this lightly but I struggle and feel depressed all the time over gender issues, and I have been slick bald since 20 which doesn't help, just to put it in context, not to make what your going through feel any less, I just mean how bad is it and what are the solutions to making you feel better? and what was the cause of wanting it in the first place

[Jay00]

9 hours ago, HappyMan2021 said:

yea!!!! as long as all the hair grows in im really confident its going to be a killer result. 

My issue was badly angled grafts - my donor area was actually perfect still. So my case seems different than yours and I'm not sure how Mwamba will approach yours. 

But I'm sure Mwamba has seen your exact situation hundreds (thousands?) of times before and will do everything he can to make you right. 

I’m glad you like the outcome of your repair. A peace of mind is everything. I just want to look normal again 

[Jay00]

5 hours ago, Stewie said:

can I ask, how bad actually are your HT? I got talked into a HT when I was 19 in 1996, nothing about it was a good idea, I didn't have my wits about me back then and they made it sound like just what I needed, I ended up going crazy bald very fast (a family trait) so by early 20s I had nothing on top apart from some plugs around the front, I shaved them short and got on with my life, I could here jokes for years about them when they grew longer etc (as I was lazy cutting my hair) and then I took the plunge in early 30s and got them lazered out over 5 sessions, there wasn't that many hair but I just wanted them gone, since then I have had two FUE procedures recently. My point being surely this is not as bad as you think? a failed HT surely most of the time means crappy hair that you trim right back? or am I missing something? or worse case do what took me over ten years to realise is that I can get rid of them

As I’m getting used to the new look, now it doesn’t look that bad to me. One doctor Mwamba told me was that my donor is not and that the hair will grow up. I’m assuming the patchy parts in my donor area are due to my overuse of texturizer. It kinda damaged my hair, but we will see. I have an appointment with a dermatologist tomorrow. Will assess the problem 

[Jay00]

4 hours ago, Stewie said:

Also I don't take this lightly but I struggle and feel depressed all the time over gender issues, and I have been slick bald since 20 which doesn't help, just to put it in context, not to make what your going through feel any less, I just mean how bad is it and what are the solutions to making you feel better? and what was the cause of wanting it in the first place

I’ve always struggled with my hair line. The edges to be specific. It wasn’t the worse hairline, just wasn’t something I wanted. During Covid since I was always staying home, I decided to try and fix it. I guess this is something I did out of boredom, and I paid the price. Though, I do believe with time and the right doctor, my repair will be a success. Optimism! 

[Gatsby]

This is why I keep saying that a hair transplant is a last resort and their are no guarantees. It requires an incredible amount of patience and research and even then things can go wrong for a whole myriad of reasons. My thoughts are with you @Jay00 and I know that you will get through this. I know what it's like at 18 to be disfigured and to be left with outdated plastic surgery and a hair piece as your only options. But I do seriously recommend that if it is causing you serious mental health decline then definitely get some professional help. I did when I was 19 for a couple of years and it was what got me through this and set me up to live with this right up until I was 55 back in only January of this year. Thinking of you bro and this should be a sticky.

[John Connor]

[Jay00]

1 hour ago, John Connor said:

My surgery is next month with Dr Mwamba. I’m really praying that this goes well. 

[Jay00]

8 hours ago, Gatsby said:

This is why I keep saying that a hair transplant is a last resort and their are no guarantees. It requires an incredible amount of patience and research and even then things can go wrong for a whole myriad of reasons. My thoughts are with you @Jay00 and I know that you will get through this. I know what it's like at 18 to be disfigured and to be left with outdated plastic surgery and a hair piece as your only options. But I do seriously recommend that if it is causing you serious mental health decline then definitely get some professional help. I did when I was 19 for a couple of years and it was what got me through this and set me up to live with this right up until I was 55 back in only January of this year. Thinking of you bro and this should be a sticky.

Thank you for your supporting words. Very much appreciated!