Hairloss, why such a taboo, please read!!!

[Raphael84]

Firstly, Id like to apologies for posting this on two different boards. I posted the first message, and then realised it may be more appropriate, and therefore of more use, here. Sorry!

 

Hey guys.

 

Okay, my question, why is hairloss such a taboo? In this I mean, why do so many people(non hairloss sufferers) find the whole process of male pattern baldness so hilarious, and so un-(cant think of the correct word here).

 

Take this for an example. Somebody loses their front teeth, once they have this rectified in whatever form, for sure people are complimentary. They explain their thoughts of how somebody looks better than before and that is accepted. Or, maybe somebody has a weight issue, they perhaps conceal or improve this and this is welcomed with again compliments. Almost all efforts of improving oneself visually (vain, we all are to a degree), are welcomed with compliment. Yet, when the subject in question is hair, or lack of it perhaps, all efforts of concealment or improvement are shunned. Many men or women start out at creative styling of their hair, and this is often the point of a joke. Maybe others take the step of some sort of hair piece, and again, if not more so, this is totally unaccepted and met with much amusement from others. But surely, this is the same as false teeth for the toothless, as make up is for skin sufferers, as selective clothing for those with weight issues etc etc... Yet whilst all other subjects are seen as improvements, hair loss and attempted concealment is seen as weakness and unaccepted.

 

This was a point that I argued with inside for such a long time. I just couldnt understand why and how people could be so cruel. Personally, I began to lose my hair as early as maybe 16. Maybe 17. Currently at 24 obviously this has continued and my current amount of hairloss is somewhat severe, especially considering my age. Yet, over the last 2 years using a concealer (too much of it in truth), I have managed to get through this time somewhat problem free whilst saving for a HT. I suppose, Im one of the more fortunate ones in the respect that I have a hugely relaxed and supportive girlfriend who helps me every step of the way. In truth, right now, knowing that I will soon have taken the next step of HT, I am, most of the time, generally relaxed about the situation(Im sure this would be different if my supply of thickener/concealer would run out). Having said that, I still spend many hours infront of the mirror on a weekly basis trying to find the most natural style assisted with thickener. The reason for this post, reading some of you guys' posts on how your feeling so down and how life is so difficult. I understand so much, Ive shed many a tear about it all myself, but the society we live in is a very judgemental one. And one that right now, does not favour hairloss. Good luck to all with their programme and improvment, whatever that may be. But just remember not to re-act to somebody elses action, somebodys judgemental behaviour. Allow every decision to be your own. Because if it wasnt out hair, Im sure that it would be something else.

 

Good luck to all. Im not sure that this will necessarily help!

[dabuski]

Well said ........its sad but unfortunately true.

[Bill - Seemiller]

Raphael,

 

I couldn't agree more with you.

 

I find it uncanny that it seems socially acceptable to make fun of the balding man, while it's inappropriate to point out someone's weight issues, acne, or other imperfections.

 

Hair loss is also not really talked about, sometimes, even with our closest friends. Though an overweight person or someone with acne may confide how badly they feel about themselves with these issues.

 

I do agree that it would be nice if the world would recognize that hair loss can often be the cause of high levels of anxiety and even depression. Perhaps then people will express a bit more empathy and not make jokes about other's hair loss insecurities.

 

Best wishes,

 

Bill

[davyj]

this is an interesting topic. on the one hand, i couldn't agree more about how 'private' a situation hair loss is. for example, i have not told ANY of my friends about my visit to Dr. Hasson, yet i spent a lot of money, and am now wearing a hat EVERYWHERE. on the other hand, i feel that being open on this forum for one another may help bring hair loss into the open. probably step by step. i know that there exists a BIG difference in how many girls a guy sleeps with (good job bro..) and how many guys a girl sleeps with (you slut..). it's just one of those things that exists now. the main thing is that we live in an age where we can do something about our situation. there is hope for guys losing hair....

[dabuski]

a lot of it boils down to our hairier counterparts just taking their good genes for granted.

they should thank their lucky stars....ive often wondered what peoples reactions would be if they just woke up one morning and found they were norwood 6.

i think peoples perception of hair restoration has been molded by dodgy comb overs and obvious

wig wearers, pluggy hair transplants etc.

the good news is hair restoration via ht in the hands of a talented surgeon in this day and age can deliver great results.

hopefully as advancements are made both surgically and medically in the future the TABOO as it is referred too should be made redundant to the hairloss sufferer.

[Dr. Michael Meshkin]

Both male facial hair and male pattern baldness are genetically based, suggesting that they contributed to fitness. The multiple fitness model provides an evolutionary interpretation of the social perception of male pattern baldness and beardedness in terms of the multidimensional meaning of physical maturational stages. Male facial beardedness is associated with the sexual maturation stage and is hypothesized to signal aggressive dominance. Male pattern baldness, by contrast, is associated with the next stage of physical maturation, termed senescence. Pattern baldness may signal social maturity, a non-threatening form of dominance associated with wisdom and nurturance. There was a study done a few years ago and the results were Consistent with the model, a decrease in the amount of cranial hair was associated with increased perceptions of social maturity, appeasement, and age, and decreased perceptions of attractiveness and aggressiveness and decreased strength. patients with facial hair were perceived as more aggressive , less appeasing, less attractive, older, and lower on social maturity than clean shaven faces. Now these results only confirms the perception of men through their hair. Through history of human being mens status was determined by his strength and aggressiveness. Only relatively recently was the money added to the social status. Therefore, throughout history mens hair has contributed to his image in his society, and less hair meant maturity(older) therefore less strength and less social status. Eventhough, these issues are not talked about socially but the effect of their many thousands of years of historical impact is still apparent in our sociaty.

So today we may call hair loss or even talking about hair loss a tabu; without being aware of its historical significance.

[celeb hair vet]

hair loss in others is a boon to the closet sadists of the world.

 

you can tell when you're dealing with one when they try to jump your ride for a few laughs.

 

when i meet one of these sadists i start to ridicule his most obvious imperfection as if we're playing some sort of ghetto insult game.

 

believe me, he is not prepared for a man who will fight him and he'll back off quick.

 

when he's retreating laugh at him

[Guest brent]

I think people make fun becasue they we so used to all the bad transplants, bad wigs and toupees, they never really had a great looking solution until recently. I know know if ANYONE was inquiring about hair loos in general, Id have no propblen saying mine was done,,,becasue it looks awesome. And i was the most anxious and fearlful person about others a while ago.

People will always insult and poke fun at anything. Just the way the world works....full of insecure idiots who take pleasure in the demeaning of others..

[hrvoje14]

great topic, and lots of good comments...

 

i think a lot can be achieved by adopting the right attitude ourselves, i.e. instead of being embarrassed or hiding or feeling inferior/insecure, etc, just saying: "yeah, i use concealer, or i've had a ht, big deal, get used to it. you use 3 kinds of mousse/gel/cream in your hair, your hair is dyed, or you have highlights, or extensions or whatever, so what's the big difference, it's all in an effort to make our hair look better."

 

i said on another thread - can you imagine what brad pitt and angelina's hair (and loads of other stars' hair) would look like if left just natural - un-dyed, un-highlighted, un-styled within an inch of its life by a horde of stylists??? it would look like yours and mine...

 

society is what it is, like brent above says 'full of insecure idiots'... i think our own attitude is what should start the ball rollling towards change and ultimately getting rid of the silly taboo...

[aw33]

I posted a lengthy comment on this topic before it got moved to the new interface but it got lost. I am too lazy to re-post it but I will state my main point again.

 

Calling people insecure just because they made fun of our MPB isn't right. Some of these people may obviously be insecure, but we cannot brush off everyone that pokes a joke at our condition simply an insecure "idiot".

[trapps99]

If the person ISNT insecure i would just use the term idiot....Anyone that will make fun of anything that might be a sensitive issue i would consider one...

If they make fun and have no clue that the other IS sensitive then thats just ignorant.

If its long time buddies and its NOT around a ton of people then sure.....thats just ribbing...which is not bad at all...but come on...How does anyone not realize when you point soemthing out infront of a crowd ( especially women ) THAT isnt right?? The pointing it out doesnt make them an insecure idiot....in front of a crowd to cause embarrasement does....

But thats just me.....

Edited April 29, 2010 by trapps99

[Bill - Seemiller]

For those of you who are interested, aw33's previous post on the other forum before the transfer is below

 

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don't know why some of us with MPB brush off others who make fun of our hair as being "insecure". It is in our nature to be funny and pull jokes on a variety of things.

 

Just because somebody makes fun of the misfortune some of us are stuck with, it doesn't mean we should call them insecure. Sure there are those individuals who are truly insecure and do pull this act, but many people pull jokes like these and they aren't all just a bunch of insecure "idiots".

 

I know that if I had a full head of hair and if one of my buddies was balding, I'd most likely pull the occasional joke on his hair. Being his friend I wouldn't do it in a crucial situation (him being next to the girl of his dreams) and I wouldn't overdo it.

 

And I definitely wouldn't strike back with a remark on his short-comings, that would just make it seem like he really got the wind out of me with his regard.

 

I also agree with hrvoje in that, if you are concealing your MPB with a spray or if you have gotten an HT, you shouldn't be embarrassed about it and always try to keep it in the dark. Imagine what 80% of women would look like without makeup (probably like me, which is not a good thing for a woman), yet you don't see them being embarrassed about using makeup. I STRONGLY believe that if you use or do something that is helping you to positively improve your appearance, confidence and self-esteem, you should never be embarrassed about it.

 

I'm 20 and whenever I get any sort of recommendation about my NW3 MPB, I just tell the person, "hey don't worry about it, it is temporary and I will have myself an HT soon".

 

My opinions.

[aw33]

Wow, you are The Man Bill.

[mattj]

Wise words, aw33. I agree totally.