Hairloss, why such a Taboo? Please read!!!

[Raphael84]

Hey guys.

 

Okay, my question, why is hairloss such a taboo? In this I mean, why do so many people(non hairloss sufferers) find the whole process of male pattern baldness so hilarious, and so un-(cant think of the correct word here).

 

Take this for an example. Somebody loses their front teeth, once they have this rectified in whatever form, for sure people are complimentary. They explain their thoughts of how somebody looks better than before and that is accepted. Or, maybe somebody has a weight issue, they perhaps conceal or improve this and this is welcomed with again compliments. Almost all efforts of improving oneself visually (vain, we all are to a degree), are welcomed with compliment. Yet, when the subject in question is hair, or lack of it perhaps, all efforts of concealment or improvement are shunned. Many men or women start out at creative styling of their hair, and this is often the point of a joke. Maybe others take the step of some sort of hair piece, and again, if not more so, this is totally unaccepted and met with much amusement from others. But surely, this is the same as false teeth for the toothless, as make up is for skin sufferers, as selective clothing for those with weight issues etc etc... Yet whilst all other subjects are seen as improvements, hair loss and attempted concealment is seen as weakness and unaccepted.

 

This was a point that I argued with inside for such a long time. I just couldnt understand why and how people could be so cruel. Personally, I began to lose my hair as early as maybe 16. Maybe 17. Currently at 24 obviously this has continued and my current amount of hairloss is somewhat severe, especially considering my age. Yet, over the last 2 years using a concealer (too much of it in truth), I have managed to get through this time somewhat problem free whilst saving for a HT. I suppose, Im one of the more fortunate ones in the respect that I have a hugely relaxed and supportive girlfriend who helps me every step of the way. In truth, right now, knowing that I will soon have taken the next step of HT, I am, most of the time, generally relaxed about the situation(Im sure this would be different if my supply of thickener/concealer would run out). Having said that, I still spend many hours infront of the mirror on a weekly basis trying to find the most natural style assisted with thickener. The reason for this post, reading some of you guys' posts on how your feeling so down and how life is so difficult. I understand so much, Ive shed many a tear about it all myself, but the society we live in is a very judgemental one. And one that right now, does not favour hairloss. Good luck to all with their programme and improvment, whatever that may be. But just remember not to re-act to somebody elses action, somebodys judgemental behaviour. Allow every decision to be your own. Because if it wasnt out hair, Im sure that it would be something else.

 

Good luck to all. Im not sure that this will necessarily help!

[Vasilius]

Raphael,

 

I've asked myself these same questions, I'm sure many of us here in the forum have.

 

Since MPB is genetic, either you have it or you don't. So those who don't have it (or don't know they have it yet) feel immune and therefore no empathy toward you or I. It's like someone with 'skinny' genes can't relate to someone whose entire family is obese and is genetically predisposed to store more bodyfat. The lifelong 'skinny' person can't understand what it's like to be fat or to struggle to manage their weight. So they think it's not a "big deal".

 

People who lose a lot of weight are given kudos because the assumption is that they've improved themself through hard work and discipline. The health benefit makes it seem less "shallow", and even if it was for vanity, there's an acceptance that it makes you "better".

 

Hair loss remedies still have a lot of stigma from a history of snake oils, bad hairpieces, bad hair plugs and Hair Club For Men infomercials. The industry is still full of deceptive marketing and shoddy products/doctors even today. It takes careful research to find quality (that's why this forum exists). So hair loss treatments still seem artificial and desperate to most people and probably will for some time in the future. The good news is, they're getting better, and if you choose carefully, your use of these treatments will be undetectable or nearly so.

 

I think it's small-minded and shameful to embarrass anyone for something they don't choose. So I don't choose to associate with people who do this. I've broken off friendships over it. It's a sign of someone I don't want to be around, period. That has made a difference for me.

 

The best advice I can give, though, is to count your blessings. There's much more to life than looks, let alone just your hair. You seem to have a great girl by your side. You're about to begin restoring your hair, and as long as you invest wisely with a reputable surgeon, it will make a dramatic improvement in how you see yourself. You're only 24 and you have a big, beautiful life ahead of you. Grab the world by the tail and enjoy the ride.

 

Best Wishes,

-Vasilius

[Chuckisduck]

The difference is that fat people tend to have more medical problems if they continue to remain fat. I never heard of a HT reducing the likelihood of getting diabetes.

[Raphael84]

Chuck, your right in what you say. But Im making a different point. Im just discussing peoples perception on hair loss. Not any long or short term health issues relating to this.

 

Vasilius, I agree with everything you say. You speak very well and are obviously a wise man(not necessarily one of "the" wisemen, but who knows?). Plus, I would like to thank you for your kind words and wish you luck in whatever your situation may be.

[Chuckisduck]

I think the bad looking plugs and such are why its still laughed at. Its easier to hide a small amphetamine habit than a bad ht.

[Vasilius]

Well said, Chuck.

[thanatopsis_awry]

The stigma/taboo is two-pronged. Hair is tied to virility -- generally, as we grow, the growth of our hair becomes connected to our development into men. When we lose it, and then try to recover it, it's as if we are not only de-valued by a loss of virility, but that we are also trying to put a rug (mind the pun) over the damage, which, generically speaking, is unseemly for a man to be doing.

 

That for so long it was the dreaded "plugs" that constituted the rug lends to a stigma of the pathetic. Also, rugs themselves have historically been so poor it has furthered the pathetic air attached to hairloss.

 

It's very true that it's genetic. This doesn't help our cause in generating sympathy, though, if anything, it should. A fat person, e.g., has societal ties to our culture that it itself promotes.

[MrJobi]

Its basicallty a sign of "losing youth" in my mind .. society has this obssesion with it and whether it is wrinkles or hairloss ,aging is looked down..

 

We live in a superficial world , take a look at any commerical or ad

[Marvin]

Bald men have always looked less intelligent to me. I think it's an innate thing for me to see baldness that way, as I've continued to assume that bald men are less intelligent even when I realized I would eventually go bald, and even when I started going bald.

 

This is obviously a major reason why I am at this forum trying to do something about it.

[Jojo]

when i was a teenager, i never dreamed of going bald, it was something that happened to someone else. Then at 19 i noticed recession at the temples i still remember that day. Even into my twenties i refused to except it was happening. Also at that age you've barely lived and your still growing up, so for me i had nearly lost my hair before i knew what to do with it if ya get me. This is something that happened to me a while ago, i was pretty drunk in a niteclub and i seen this chick I use to know from years ago she was always an unlikeable person but anyhow i knew she was in a longterm relationship and i just popped over to say hello. As i stood next to her i noticed how great she looked and I commented on this, i just said something like "damn your looking so well" you really are. You look really good" that kind a thing. Anyway i payed her some compliments that were all innocent and then after a bit she turned around and said something like "I like your hair, you've always had it that way but it suites ya" (I'd been forced to wear my hair kinda like a Beatles haircut for a loooooog while - ya know with a fringe covering the hairloss at the front)At the time I didn't think much of it i just took it as my cue to leave but thinking back I'm thinking she probably had a face full of botox and maybe she thought i was asking her if she had something done? Or maybe she just wanted me to piss off? Or more then likely she was saying you could do with a little touch up your self! Now leave me alone. I think after that i started wearing a hat all the time cos i was sick and tired of that hair style myself and refused to shave my head. Now I'm nearly 7 months into a ht and its looking damn good.

[alijame]

Fist thing as being bald changes the way we look. Actually transition from a good looking and confident guy to just a bald guy trying to look good and be confident is extrmely tough and it takes 4 or 5 years of your life specially if you dont have a solid support in form of wife or girlfriend. Once you are bald or accepted it after 4 or 5 years things are no so bad.

[Dr. Ricardo Mejia]

In my practice, I tell patients they do not need hair they are fine justt the way they are. However, if they desire hair, then I tell them what I can do for them. Hair loss is a personal issue and for some not an issue. We do not make it an issue unless the patient is very concerned about it.

[Speegs]

i think alot of the stigma comes from two sources, one being the vanity of non hairloss sufferers and two the poor quality of most hairloss remedies such as comb overs, toupees, wigs and plugs.

 

It is especially psychologically impactful on a young man, particularly those 30 to 18 as it effects their appearance more dramatically than other age groups and gives them the stigma of "premature aging" although it is an asinine comment because hairloss is not age specific and can effect anyone and any time with a genetic predisposition to it.

 

Unfortunately youth is known for its vanity and so youthful men afflicted by the "premature aging: stigma are particularly subconscious and feel socially wounded whether true or not.

 

Personally I have never condescended to follicularly vulnerable men, probably because the genitc predisposition was in my family and I knew what goes around comes around, yet as much as I am not judgmental of hair loss in others i am uncomfortable having to deal with it personally, its a personal dilemma for every man.

 

Some men press on hardly deterred my it and accept it and adapt with it gracefully, others understandably find it unacceptable and look for ways of mitigating the damage.

 

The expense of cosmetically catalytic procedures such as hair transplants and good systems often keep budget minded men, particularly young ones, from investing or investigating into seriously pursuing one.

 

Ultimately hairloss is a draw back cosmetically that all men deal with differently but ti is a health concern to all because of scalp vulnerability to sun damage and it is an expensive one to remedy in an aesthetic sense.

 

So it possesses few pluses beyond hair cut expenses.

[Speegs]

Originally posted by Marvin:

Bald men have always looked less intelligent to me. I think it's an innate thing for me to see baldness that way, as I've continued to assume that bald men are less intelligent even when I realized I would eventually go bald, and even when I started going bald.

 

This is obviously a major reason why I am at this forum trying to do something about it.

That's an interesting comment that runs some what antithetically to historical perception of balding men, typically they are deemed wiser since the condition is associated with age and experience.

 

I must concede that on some men a slight recession is cosmetically appealing and actually looks rather dignified and distinguished, even on a younger age bracket, assuming the man as a whle is full of character and charm, our hairlines can take on personalities and I think that's due to self and not the hair. We cripple ourselves when it is the hair that dictates personality.

[alijame]

Very true Speegs.

I little receeded hairline in some cases makes guys more personable and approachable. If yo have a strong personality which superseeds being dictated by hairline then you wont have much problem in relations and social life but this doesnt mean trying to have good hair or look better is anything wrong. Hair is just a small part of you and just try to keep it that way.

 

Originally posted by Speegs:

Originally posted by Marvin:

Bald men have always looked less intelligent to me. I think it's an innate thing for me to see baldness that way, as I've continued to assume that bald men are less intelligent even when I realized I would eventually go bald, and even when I started going bald.

 

This is obviously a major reason why I am at this forum trying to do something about it.

That's an interesting comment that runs some what antithetically to historical perception of balding men, typically they are deemed wiser since the condition is associated with age and experience.

 

I must concede that on some men a slight recession is cosmetically appealing and actually looks rather dignified and distinguished, even on a younger age bracket, assuming the man as a whle is full of character and charm, our hairlines can take on personalities and I think that's due to self and not the hair. We cripple ourselves when it is the hair that dictates personality.

[Marvin]

I guess I assume that since bald men are losers in one area (hair), they are also losers in other areas (such as intelligence).

[Speegs]

Originally posted by Marvin:

I guess I assume that since bald men are losers in one area (hair), they are also losers in other areas (such as intelligence).

Depends I guess, the Apostle Paul, Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare, John Adams, Napoleon Bonaparte, Charles Darwin, Dwight Eisenhower and Robert Oppenheimer might all want to have a word with you however.