Vasilius

Bill - Sorry I've been gone so long - I've been busy. I love this discussion though. I think it gives us all valuable insight, especially the posts from the last few months. A wounded psyche is much worse than a receding hairline. Sizzle - Thanks for the compliments (and right back at ya ). What you said about self-image and how it relates to attractiveness was spot on. You seem to have a very strong sense of who you are as well, which is a very attractive quality in women too. Leeson - Your Zac Efron comment was awesome, man I was crying!!

LMFAO

D.S.H. - Thank you.....thank you...... We needed a good laugh. -Vasilius

There are two basic types of concealers that have a pretty good rep, and I use them regularly myself. "Scalp concealers" are applied directly to balding areas of the scalp and can also be applied to thinning hair to add thickness. Dermatch is the one I use. Couvre is another well-known one that has a good reputation. "Hair thickeners" are electrostaticly-charged particles of keratin that cling to existing hair and scalp and make the hair appear thicker and fuller. I've used Toppik, but many HTN members use Nanogen and swear by it. These concealers, especially used together with a little practice, can make the most of the hair you have right now. They are no substitute for hair restoration, but they make the best of a crappy situation while you pursue a long-term hair recovery plan. Hope this helps -Vasilius

Jupiter, Kudos for taking a rational approach to hair loss by postponing your HT until you can afford a top-rate surgeon, and choosing to shave it off for now. A lot of young guys wear a shaved head well, if it had been in style for white guys when I was your age I might have never gotten a HT. Good luck -Vasilius

Way to go Bill!

Thanatopsis, I concur with Raphael on this completely. Like I said in the PM, it's most likely nerves and that's a completely normal thing we all deal with. The more a guy is into a girl, the more nervous he is too at first, but the sex is that much better too! As for telling her about your HT, there may come a time later on in your relationship for that kind of disclosure, and once you've been together a while she might be endeared by your sharing that info, but play those cards to your chest for now brother. There's nothing to be ashamed of in getting a HT, I've had 2, but like Raph said it's a private matter that other people don't always understand. -Vasilius

Get a sense of humor dude, seriously. -Vasilius

Bro - Enough is enough. I'm going straight to the heart of the matter now: You believe that women have rejected you throughout your life simply because you are short and balding. You cling to this belief because it rationalizes your loneliness and completely relieves you of any personal responsibility for your situation. Well I've got news for you pal - if by age 50 you can't look inward and see how you are primarily responsible for your position in life, you are in deep denial my friend. Your attitude is the main culprit. Go ahead, tell me I'm blaming the victim - but it is what it is. I am only in this forum to learn, to improve myself and help others do the same. I have no interest in winning this petty argument with you. And since you are not here to improve yourself, since you think you have nothing to learn form anyone here, even guys like Dr. Lindsey and Bill and others much wiser than me, I am done trying to persuade you. You don't need anyone's help anyway, right Superman? You've got it all figured out, if only women weren't so vapid and superficial you'd be a grandpa by now. I give up. -Vasilius

How about instead of guessing, we cite actual statistics: According to data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) 2001 to 2004, 61.6% of adult American women are overweight (BMI >25) and 33.2% are obese (BMI >30). By comparison, 40% of 35-year-old men have male pattern baldness. In spite of the rate of obesity and baldness, 80% of men and women get married at least once in their lifetime. If baldness, height and obesity reduce chances of coupling the way you claim they do, how is the marriage rate so high, especially given how many couples never choose to get married? Look bro, we all know looks matter. No one is disputing that it is advantageous for guys to be tall and have a full head of hair. Likewise, women who are fit and beautiful have an edge on women who are not. But what you do not understand is that looks are not the entire attraction puzzle, they are just a piece of it. -Vasilius

Bro - First, once again, I am below avg height and it never stopped me from dating. Tall girls, pretty girls, it was never ever a problem, and I am married to my dream girl, who is the same height as me and taller when she wears heels, so your argument that short guys are screwed and cannot attract women has no merit. Second, if you think there are more guys who will date a fat girl than girls who will date a short guy you need to actually listen to what other guys say sometime. I know there are guys who like a woman with "more to love", but most men aren't attracted physically to obese women. And women know this very well. If you think men are insecure about height or hair loss, watch what women put themselves through to keep the pounds off. And just pointing out that there are fat chicks in pr0n is ridiculous, I'm no expert on it but there are pr0n movies with horse-f#cking and people pooping on each other, that doesn't make it the norm. -Vasilius

Yes Chuck, just started on it. I'm not too hopeful that it will do much more than stop the damage from getting worse at my age and hair loss progression. Live and learn -Vasilius

Busted! LOL "Don Cosa is the most adept company, as the chief technician is also a client." I felt like I was watching a late-night infomercial reading that -Vasilius

Good idea Bill, I agree that it would make a fine addition to the newsletter. I hope if nothing else that men AND women who are feeling insecure because of hair loss feel a sense of community here and a non-threatening environment to ask questions, rant, or share their concerns as well as their triumphs. One of the best things about this forum for me is seeing all of the personal transformations people have had. I see some of the results photos and they've not only restored their hair, they've hit the gym hard, taken big vacations, and they look completely different - more confident, happy and youthful. I know you know what I'm talking about Bill, because I've seen your pics! And I don't see it as vanity or posturing in order to impress anyone. It's healing your spirit and self-image from years of corrosive self-doubt, angst and hours of hating the mirror. This is a fun thread -Vasilius

Son Of Jor-El , I understood your binary scale, very clever. I think you were originally just making a sociological observation, but when other members disagreed you took it a step further. Let me ask you this though: Do you think it's good advice to other guys reading this thread, to tell them that if they are short and/or bald that they have little to no shot at marriage and kids? I'm glad you feel like superman dude, but there are a lot of young men who come to this forum whose self-esteem has been devastated by their hair loss. Just something to think about. -Vasilius

I started losing hair at 17, I'd say I'm a mature NW5 now at age 34. It shocked me and was incredibly depressing at times, especially having happened at such a young age. I dealt with it as best I could by focusing on other, better things than my hair. In spite of my hair loss, it never caused me major problems with friends, acceptance or my love life. It still bothered me though, because in a way I feel it's cheated me from my youth somewhat. I've since had a HT in 2000 and my 2nd HT last month. When my last HT grows in I should have good coverage and as long as my loss has stopped, I shouldn't need another HT unless I just want more density. If I could go back and do it over again, I would have gotten on minox and propecia as early as possible. -Vasilius

Bro - we're not "up against" you. We're not here to insult you or beat you up. You are one of us, and we are trying to widen your perspective because of this: This is the reason, the ONLY reason that I have addressed you in this thread. I can't speak for the others, but I believe we're all here to support YOU, just not your dogmatic point of view. Whether you realize it or not, we're trying to help you bro. We're guys who lost some or all of our hair and still managed to find happiness with women. We're trying to show you that you don't have to go another 30 years with only two dates. But it's all for naught if you won't even consider what we are saying. Look at it this way: If you come to a raging river, and ask 2 men if it's possible to cross it, whom do you believe? The man standing at the riverbank who says "It's hopeless," or the man on the other side who says, "I just crossed it"? I'm not here to prove a point or show you up, and I'm not going to insult you. I respect you as a man and you are entitled to believe what you will. But as long as you believe that you're a Zero, you're right. And if you can't read this with an open mind, if you just continue to stubbornly refute it all outright, then there's no point in arguing about it anymore. Best wishes, -Vasilius

For those joining this thread for the first time, I'll catch you up with this quick synopsis (please note that I am paraphrasing): dhoose75: I went on a blind date with a girl 4 yrs older who'd had kids, but she wasn't into me and I think it's because I had a slightly receded hairline. Then I got my hairline restored and BAM she's on my jock. She wasn't even that hot and did I mention she's older with kids? What the hell? It must be that 1300 graft HT, not seeing me in a confident state and surrounded by friends that made me more attractive. Women are shallow. everyone else: Yeah, women can be superficial when it comes to hair loss. Damn, that sucks. bro: Women only want tall guys with full heads of hair. Short and bald guys have 00 chance, they all die as virgins unless they're rich and famous. everyone else: People can be superficial, not just women. Bald guys can still meet women though. bro: No way in hell. Short and bald guys are screwed, period. me (Vasilius): Women will go for a short bald guy who is socially adept and at the top of his game. Looks matter, but short/bald guys can be with women. They just have to be interesting and confident. everyone else: That makes sense. bro: No effing way! You are WRONG WRONG WRONG! thanatopsis_awry & vasilius: Looks matter, but develop your talents and become an awesome dude and looks won't matter as much. bro: LIES! Height and hair are everything! Bill: I feel your pain bro, but it's not an absolute black/white standard. I'm living proof. bro: LALALALA LA LA, I can't hear you! I guess we're done here! Bro, no hard feelings, but jeeeez Napoleon, lighten up! -Vasilius

Thanks Chuck, but no. The psychology behind social interaction and sexuality is fascinating though, isn't it? :-)

The point I'm trying to make is, simply this: Don't be a "regular guy". You overcome short/bald by highlighting your best attributes and standing out in other areas. This doesn't mean you should lie and make up a fake life of celebrities and rock stars. Even if that ever worked, what do you tell the girl once she gives you her number? If you lead an exciting and fulfilling life, dress and groom yourself well, and don't send out insecure vibes by acting needy or like you don't belong there, you will stand out among the so-called "regular guys". You'll also have potential for successful long-term relationships with women. But, if you have a dead-end job, never leave a 10-mile radius of your hometown, and sit in front of the TV or computer for 4 hours every night -- what the hell do you expect a woman to be interested in? Your DVD collection? I'm a little worried about bro and some of the other members. This is the only reason I'm posting here. We're all here because we're trying to have and keep the best head of hair we can. But let's keep it in perspective. Being short and bald isn't a life sentence of celibacy. Like I said, I'm 5'7" and started losing hair at age 17. By bro's philosophy I have no business whatsoever being happily married, much less to a gorgeous ex-cheerleader who graduated summa cum laude from university and makes six figures. I'm not ugly, but I would be by many womens' standard if I didn't take good care of myself. But I live a full, active life and don't live vicariously through the TV or Internet. I'm not saying I have a pile of 1st-edition philosophy books where a Tivo should be, but I get my ass moving toward my goals every day. If you just want to wax pathetic about how cruel life is, that women like tall guys with thick luxurious hair and perfect teeth, go ahead. But that won't help anyone improve their situation. Ain't that what self-improvement is all about? Isn't hair restoration about improving your appearance and confidence? Anyway, I wish bro and everyone else out there the best. I think I've said enough about this, hope some of it helps someone. -Vasilius

bro - Neil Strauss was NOT a celebrity when he wrote his book about dating supermodels. I've read "The Game". Have you? He became a celebrity BECAUSE of that book. Yes, he was a talented writer who wrote for the New York Times and Rolling Stone. Yes, he was a ghost-writer for books by celebrities. But he was about as famous as you are. How many newspaper and magazine columnists would you recognize in a bar? The fact that a 5'6" skinny bald guy wrote a best-selling book about dating supermodels brought the media attention that made him a celeb. Building an exciting life, having a wide social circle and pursuing excellence makes you cool, interesting and confident. This, plus an understanding of women and attraction are what made Neil Strauss. Not money or fame.

bro - google "Neil Strauss".

Thanks for the advice guys. Yeah, after reading the other thread on this topic I'm not telling anyone. If anyone asks about my hair I'll just say nothing. My wife dressed the scar up with Dermatch and Toppik, and so far no one seems to have noticed. If I can get through these next 2 weeks I should be home free, as long as there is little or no shock loss. Fingers crossed...thanks again for the advice. -Vasilius

HELP! I'm going back to work tomorrow exactly 2 weeks after a HT. Recipent areas are undetectable, but my donor scar is still VERY visible because the hair just above and below the scar was shaved off, showing less than 1cm of bare skin (edit - skin is not quite bare, hair shaved down to 0 there for surgery) and the thin red line of the incision. There might be a little shock loss too, not sure yet. I'm armed with Dermatch and Toppik and I'm hoping no one will be any the wiser tomorrow, but if someone busts me, what should I say: A. Nothing is different about my hair (Jedi mind trick) B. I had surgery. Hey, how about this recession?? Crazy, huh? C. I got into a machete fight. You should see the other guy. D. I had surgery. <them: Surgery for what?> I had a hair transplant. (optional: Got a problem with that?) Right now, I'm leaning toward Option D. It's ballsy and honest, but then from henceforth I'm The Guy Who Got A Hair Transplant. Any advice or moral support would be much appreciated. Thanks :-) -Vasilius

Bro - I know how you feel, and as I said, height and hair do matter. I started losing hair at age 17. I'm also below-average height, so I got the double-whammy. I could've given up, but I didn't. Listen to Thanatopsis dude, there is a lot of wisdom and a good example in his post of how to overcome what you've inherited from mother nature. I've had 2 HTs now, so I'm not here to preach that hair "doesn't matter". But having your shit together, focusing on what you are passionate about in life, and enjoying yourself comes first. I wish you well Bro- -Vasilius