Strange situation

[EpilepticSceptic]

First off, since I haven't yet posted my blog you guys have no idea of my pre-HT situation. I was nowhere near "bald" pre-HT! My balding pattern was particularly cruel as a young guy, because I looked like Richard Nixon by age 25; the temples receeded very aggressively over night into slick bald skin. I was an advanced NW3 from age 25 to age 35, and by age 41 was an early NW4. This is just how my family genetcis work, very slow pattern balding where the rest of the hair remains very healthy (the opposite of diffuse thinning). With toppik I could look like I almost had a full head of hair, except for those damn slick bald temples. The good news is that my balding pattern makes me an A+ HT candidate! I had 4496 grafts dense packed into a relatively small area. I did my research for over 5 years, and hence I EXPECT my HT to be a success. The odds are slim (IMO) that it will not be. I'm not chasing the extreme uphill battle that most who get HTs are.

Edited July 6, 2010 by EpilepticSceptic

[Danielkiwi]

Well said ES. I think the key to determine is if one is a good candidate and it certainly looks like you are. I am still trying to figure out that and hence the pessimism....i am sure you will do well with all the research you have conducted..When are you starting your blog BTW

[EpilepticSceptic]

Hi ES

 

I see where you are coming from but their comparisons are way too extreme dude and i sincerely hope your HT comes off well. If not, you might have serious issues to deal with emotionally.....

 

Although i will confess that bald men start with a serious handicap in the dating world, there is no way you can justify that blading affects your professional life unless you are in show business..all you have to do is look around and see people like Steve jobs (Apple CEO), Ben Bernanke (Fed chief), Lloyd Blankfein (Goldman Sachs CEO)...and all have a common trait...guess what they are bald...

 

I will agree with you that we have been dealt the wrong cards in life but i want to make a request to all my balding brethren...dont let this get you down as you can still make it in life unlike the black men in 1950's...hair transplants is a solution but only temporary as we all have to win the battle of our mind...once we do that, we will not need anything else to prove to anybody

 

 

D,

 

Guys like Steve Jobs, Ben Bernanke, and Lloyd Blankfein are just like celebrities -- one out of 10 million. Hence, it is pointless to compare the average joe balding guy to them and say "see, they did it so you can too". Yeah, anybody can become the president or a multi-billionaire from a humble background -- but how many do ?

 

I said there were "similarities" between being bald today and being black in the 1950s; certainly it was infinitely worse to be black back then, but I contend that our society has never lost it's need to discriminate.

 

You can win the battle of mind, but you will still be judged by 99.9% of people based on appearence. Truly winning the battle of mind is not really caring what others think about your appearence at all, because the physical body is impermanent and doesn't even belong to us anyway. I know this because I practice Buddhism, and the self-realized masters won't even look into a mirror anymore because they have 0 interest in being distracted from Zen.

 

I think alot of guys on these forums really haven't "walked in the balding shoes" long enough to be capable of any real deep insight. If you are a diffuse thinner and with Toppik can pull off the illusion of a NW2 head of hair whilst in public, then IMO you haven't walked in those shoes. The only way you will truly know how it feels (as well as how others will treat you) is to ditch the Toppik, cut/shave the hair real short, and step out into the spotlight with nothing to hide. I did this over 15 years ago, and lived with the balding look totally exposed for that length of time. Hence, I am extremely well adjusted psychologically to it. In my 20s and all through my 30s I did not feel the desperate need to rush into some mill somewhere and "do something about it", like most of the jaded HT patients you see complaining on these boards.

 

Emotional issues if my HT fails ? Well, after spending near $20K to have my head cut open, a large strip of flesh removed, and my head poked like a pin cushion I guess anybody would be down if things did not pan out. However, if the worst case scenario was that I just returned to my pre-HT state with a pencil thin scar around my head, then I would just chalk it up to a hard lesson learned. I've lived with it for over 15 years anyway, no Toppik or attempts to conceal it. Plus my doc/clinic stands behind the work and is the only one I know who has a refund policy for those very rare cases where the grafts do not grow.

Edited July 6, 2010 by EpilepticSceptic

[EpilepticSceptic]

Well said ES. I think the key to determine is if one is a good candidate and it certainly looks like you are. I am still trying to figure out that and hence the pessimism....i am sure you will do well with all the research you have conducted..When are you starting your blog BTW

 

 

D,

 

I'm thick in the doldrums right now (nearing 2 months post-op), so there's nothing much to show. I plan on getting the blog up around month 3 when things should start popping. I am seeing lots of stubbly hairs coming in already, which seems to be early growth. I have photos of every day post-op until day 15 when the dreaded sheds started; the grafts were already growing too, which made the shed a real drag!!! Since then I'm just taking shots at the 1 month post-op marks. All indications so far are that it will be a great success. The scar is a non-issue already and appears it will be pencil thin (I can actually see the pencil line under the right light).

 

I think the only real way to know how good/bad of a candidate you are is to visit a top doc who you know has ethics and doesn't really need your money cause he's so booked up already. I know, it's expensive to make a seperate trip just for a consultation; but what's another $500 if you're ready to fork out $15-20K ? They can examine your head and tell you if there's any donor thinning and also see indications of final balding pattern if it is there.

 

My doc has been known to turn many away because he felt they were chasing an uphill battle, and he didn't want an unhappy patient down the line. So once he looked me over and gave me the green light I knew I was good to go. If you don't have confidence/trust in your doc, then there's no real way to proceed without fear.

Edited July 6, 2010 by EpilepticSceptic

[wb280]

ES, i was one of those u described. Being a diffused thinner and NW 2 at most, i could use toppik and dermatch to hide fairly easily until these days as my frontal was thinning rapidly hence under close scrunity, its still quite obvious.

 

I respect your courage in shaving and going out without any concealment and living with it. I cant man. I was the opposite of u. I could not even feel at ease just going out of my apartment, maybe to the car, to get something without sneaking in and out like a thief. I could no longer feel fine going swimming with my friends and dreaded the beach. I WAS A CHANGED MAN DUE TO HAIR LOSS. Maybe u embraced it much better than i did hence my respect but i feel being a NW 2 to me might feel like a NW 5 to someone else.

 

It all boils down to one's reaction to his hair loss.

[EpilepticSceptic]

ES, i was one of those u described. Being a diffused thinner and NW 2 at most, i could use toppik and dermatch to hide fairly easily until these days as my frontal was thinning rapidly hence under close scrunity, its still quite obvious.

 

I respect your courage in shaving and going out without any concealment and living with it. I cant man. I was the opposite of u. I could not even feel at ease just going out of my apartment, maybe to the car, to get something without sneaking in and out like a thief. I could no longer feel fine going swimming with my friends and dreaded the beach. I WAS A CHANGED MAN DUE TO HAIR LOSS. Maybe u embraced it much better than i did hence my respect but i feel being a NW 2 to me might feel like a NW 5 to someone else.

 

It all boils down to one's reaction to his hair loss.

 

 

 

Yeah, well there's nothing like being thrown into the MPB fire pit at an early age I guess. I went from looking like Rob Lowe to Richard Nixon (Bozo The Clown) in 4 years, from age 21 to 25! It was the ULTIMATE lesson in the superficiality of women, people, and the western culture in general. And the hairline looked shit probably as early as age 22 because it was already obviously thinning -- and there was no such thing as Toppik or Propecia to do anything about it, just total and complete helplessness and submission to it! You just HAD to deal with it and adjust to avoid jumping off a bridge; mine is basically like the Cinderella story, except so far there has been no happy ending.

 

So I said *** it and shaved it to the bone! That was in 1995 when most peeps still would look at you like a "skinhead" nazi gang member. But I did it anyway, and to some extent I will have to admit that the whole experience did change my psychology and direction in life, but for the better IMO. When you are used to getting lots of attention (especially from women) when you had perfect hair, suddenly you notice them treating you differently and then finally shying away from you completely and, like a detective, you sniff it out and know for a fact that it was nothing else but the hairloss. You confirm it from so many seperate experiences, and how they differ qualitatively though YOU acted basically the same as before. Some shrink might try to tell you otherwise, but the harsh truth is that hairloss MAKES PEOPLE LOOK DIFFERENT, often much OLDER !! Even if the person has good chiseled facial features, a Richard Nixon forelock at age 25 is going to CHANGE PEOPLE'S PERCEPTION OF YOU! And the mind remembers how they treated you in the pre-MPB days, because just a few years ago you had the NW 1.5/2 hairline!

 

On another note: some of you guys around here who talk about not wanting to be on propecia for life, I can't help but notice are still getting away with a NW2 appearence using concealers. So what could you know about real baldness ? It's easy to talk about something you haven't experienced yet, and to haughtily theroize about how well you will be able to handle it when it comes (like the reaper) for you. Trust me, once the ability to even pull off the illusion of a hairline dissapears, you WILL be looking into the mirror at a VERY changed face !!! You may even feel you look like an alien from outer space at the really low moments. Moments like this can push any level headed person to bizarre behavior in how they attempt to deal with it.

 

That's why anybody on these boards who ditches fin because they have a little watery semen needs to (IMO) shave the head to the bone TODAY and see how well they can deal with that look -- which will be a "prison" sentence for life once MPB takes its' final toll! :cool:

Edited July 7, 2010 by EpilepticSceptic

[RE001]

D,

 

Guys like Steve Jobs, Ben Bernanke, and Lloyd Blankfein are just like celebrities -- one out of 10 million. Hence, it is pointless to compare the average joe balding guy to them and say "see, they did it so you can too". Yeah, anybody can become the president or a multi-billionaire from a humble background -- but how many do ?

 

I said there were "similarities" between being bald today and being black in the 1950s; certainly it was infinitely worse to be black back then, but I contend that our society has never lost it's need to discriminate.

 

You can win the battle of mind, but you will still be judged by 99.9% of people based on appearence. Truly winning the battle of mind is not really caring what others think about your appearence at all, because the physical body is impermanent and doesn't even belong to us anyway. I know this because I practice Buddhism, and the self-realized masters won't even look into a mirror anymore because they have 0 interest in being distracted from Zen.

 

I think alot of guys on these forums really haven't "walked in the balding shoes" long enough to be capable of any real deep insight. If you are a diffuse thinner and with Toppik can pull off the illusion of a NW2 head of hair whilst in public, then IMO you haven't walked in those shoes. The only way you will truly know how it feels (as well as how others will treat you) is to ditch the Toppik, cut/shave the hair real short, and step out into the spotlight with nothing to hide. I did this over 15 years ago, and lived with the balding look totally exposed for that length of time. Hence, I am extremely well adjusted psychologically to it. In my 20s and all through my 30s I did not feel the desperate need to rush into some mill somewhere and "do something about it", like most of the jaded HT patients you see complaining on these boards.

 

Emotional issues if my HT fails ? Well, after spending near $20K to have my head cut open, a large strip of flesh removed, and my head poked like a pin cushion I guess anybody would be down if things did not pan out. However, if the worst case scenario was that I just returned to my pre-HT state with a pencil thin scar around my head, then I would just chalk it up to a hard lesson learned. I've lived with it for over 15 years anyway, no Toppik or attempts to conceal it. Plus my doc/clinic stands behind the work and is the only one I know who has a refund policy for those very rare cases where the grafts do not grow.

 

That's exactly what I am doing right now, hence why I commented as such in my previous posts.

[wb280]

ES, point well said. Hair loss effects are so subjective that we cannot completely copy and paste someone's else feelings onto someone else.

 

And i defn concur with u that how many dare to come out face to face with friends and such with no concealer and the bald parts completely bald? I ve dared to do many things but i respect u for that courage cos i can never ever said that

 

With that said, ultimately we still hope we need not that take that step, and thats y we go for the last resort. HT

[RE001]

ES, point well said. Hair loss effects are so subjective that we cannot completely copy and paste someone's else feelings onto someone else.

 

And i defn concur with u that how many dare to come out face to face with friends and such with no concealer and the bald parts completely bald? I ve dared to do many things but i respect u for that courage cos i can never ever said that

 

With that said, ultimately we still hope we need not that take that step, and thats y we go for the last resort. HT

 

It was one of the toughest things I had to do my entire life because everyone remembers me with hair. No joke, I went from wearing hats 24/7 (yes, even work) to cutting my hair short and going out in public like that. I skipped the Rogaine, concealers, etc. stuff; went straight from hats to short hair, all out, there you go! I haven't wore a hat EVER SINCE. I let EVERYONE (family, friends, went to weddings and even had my graduation party with a shaved head) see me like that. The hat became too much for me to handle and everyone always commented as to why I was wearing it 24/7. I was surprised that no one really cared much when they saw me with no hat/short hair and that boosted my confidence up a little. I feel better now but I'm still not 100% if you know what I mean. Imagine being 22 and having to deal with this crap. I will have HT done sooner or later.

Edited July 8, 2010 by RE001

[EpilepticSceptic]

That's exactly what I am doing right now, hence why I commented as such in my previous posts.

 

 

Good for you brother, and I wish you the best! IMO until a person with MPB has shaved the head and learned to "live with" that look for awhile, they are not yet ready to jump into the HT arena.

 

Once you have adjusted yourself psychologically to being cueball kojack bald, then your HT goals will suddenly be alot more conservative, and you'll be happier just to have more hair instead of perfect hair. All the real HT success stories I see are guys who have paid their dues in the MPB pit for awhile, so simply getting more hair is like getting out of jail.

[RE001]

Good for you brother, and I wish you the best! IMO until a person with MPB has shaved the head and learned to "live with" that look for awhile, they are not yet ready to jump into the HT arena.

 

Once you have adjusted yourself psychologically to being cueball kojack bald, then your HT goals will suddenly be alot more conservative, and you'll be happier just to have more hair instead of perfect hair. All the real HT success stories I see are guys who have paid their dues in the MPB pit for awhile, so simply getting more hair is like getting out of jail.

 

Thank you for the support, I enjoy reading your posts and hearing about your experiences.

 

You're exactly right. I did it because I wanted to psychologically adjust myself at this point in time in my life. I said to myself that the past is the past and I have to accept how I look nowadays with a balding head. It's been tough to accept it but little by little it's getting better. It really takes a toll on your psyche especially after years of being called hot, cute, this and that from girls to not even getting looks from them anymore. To tell you the truth, I was depressed about it for a while but I have overcome it after coming to peace with the way I look these days. We can all relate to these kinds of thoughts about ourselves and I'm glad we have a forum to talk about them. I believe I'm taking the right steps to a successful HT.

 

Thanks again.

[EpilepticSceptic]

Thank you for the support, I enjoy reading your posts and hearing about your experiences.

 

You're exactly right. I did it because I wanted to psychologically adjust myself at this point in time in my life. I said to myself that the past is the past and I have to accept how I look nowadays with a balding head. It's been tough to accept it but little by little it's getting better. It really takes a toll on your psyche especially after years of being called hot, cute, this and that from girls to not even getting looks from them anymore. To tell you the truth, I was depressed about it for a while but I have overcome it after coming to peace with the way I look these days. We can all relate to these kinds of thoughts about ourselves and I'm glad we have a forum to talk about them. I believe I'm taking the right steps to a successful HT.

 

Thanks again.

 

 

RE001,

 

Well, IMO you are definitely approaching this the right way. Look around on the various forums and 99.9% of the time the miserable, disgruntled patients who say HT was a failure for them ("prison sentence", "locked in", "treadmill", "worst mistake of my life", etc.) were guys in their 20s who jumped in too soon without any foresight; they wanted to conceal any hint of balding, and hence the strategy they pursued was flawed from the very beginning and they wasted alot of their donor hair. Many were never good candidates to begin with, and probably should have avoided HTs completely. Some were even warned by older HT vets, but they were immature and thought that by age 30-40 they wouldn't care about their appearence anymore (lol).

 

At 41 I am almost old enough to be your dad (YIKES!!!). But hey, I am very young at heart. I remember age 22 vividly like it was yesterday, and I had to deal with this MPB crap in a time when there were no viable treatments or solutions.

 

You young bucks are alot luckier today than you realize. That's why when I see these 20 something year olds ditching Fin because they get a little watery semen, I laugh because they still can look in the mirror (with concealers) at a NW2 head of hair. MANY will be looking back in a few years and cursing the day they ever stumbled accross sites like "propeciahelp.com" -- but it will be too late by then!

[RE001]

RE001,

 

Well, IMO you are definitely approaching this the right way. Look around on the various forums and 99.9% of the time the miserable, disgruntled patients who say HT was a failure for them ("prison sentence", "locked in", "treadmill", "worst mistake of my life", etc.) were guys in their 20s who jumped in too soon without any foresight; they wanted to conceal any hint of balding, and hence the strategy they pursued was flawed from the very beginning and they wasted alot of their donor hair. Many were never good candidates to begin with, and probably should have avoided HTs completely. Some were even warned by older HT vets, but they were immature and thought that by age 30-40 they wouldn't care about their appearence anymore (lol).

 

At 41 I am almost old enough to be your dad (YIKES!!!). But hey, I am very young at heart. I remember age 22 vividly like it was yesterday, and I had to deal with this MPB crap in a time when there were no viable treatments or solutions.

 

You young bucks are alot luckier today than you realize. That's why when I see these 20 something year olds ditching Fin because they get a little watery semen, I laugh because they still can look in the mirror (with concealers) at a NW2 head of hair. MANY will be looking back in a few years and cursing the day they ever stumbled accross sites like "propeciahelp.com" -- but it will be too late by then!

 

Very true indeed.

 

Even with the age difference, we are all in the same boat. I hopefully will be able to fight off any further hair loss with current meds. I hope to keep what I have now and add the rest with donor hair. Some people have absolutely no idea how good they have it with a head full of hair but I guess you never know or care about it until you experience it yourself.

[waveskier]

We seldom appreciate things until they are gone! Those blessed with great genes and a full head of hair well into their 60's & 70's just seem to take it for granted, at least for the most part.

[EpilepticSceptic]

I've said this before, and I'll repeat it again: hair in itself is completely meaningless! What causes the problem for all of us is that the loss of facial framing RADICALLY alters your appearence, and makes you look OLDER !!! For those rare few individuals where going bald doesn't make them look any older, then MPB is not a problem. However, it may become a problem as they age and the "shaved head" look suddenly doesn't look as good anymore.

 

I am a very health conscious, holistic, and spiritual person; so I have never bothered hanging around with what I would consider the "superficial" crowd. In my 20s and early 30s I used to think anybody who worried about hairloss was superficial and not spiritually connected. Then, in my late 30s I started to realize that even the people (women especially) whom I considered to be "on my level" and not the superficial type still possessed the inclination to stereotype people based upon their hairloss. Most people are completely unaware that MPB has nothing to do with a lack of health; they actually are under the assumption that balding people should be taking better care of themselves, and then they would grow their hair back.

 

Once I realized this it became unequivocally clear that even those people who are not superficial and on my level will unconsciously discriminate against those of us with MPB, without even realizing it! If a woman thinks you must be eating bad and not taking care of your health because of your thinning hair, she will be less attracted to you -- NOT because of the hairloss, but because she thinks you are not health conscious and she wants to be with a man who is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

It's a vicious circle of unfair discrimination, and it's therefore no suprise that many of us are willing to pay thousands of dollars for a HT to overcome it!

Edited July 31, 2010 by EpilepticSceptic

[Al - Moderator]

Then, in my late 30s I started to realize that even the people (women especially) whom I considered to be "on my level" and not the superficial type still possessed the inclination to stereotype people based upon their hairloss. Most people are completely unaware that MPB has nothing to do with a lack of health; they actually are under the assumption that balding people should be taking better care of themselves, and then they would grow their hair back.

 

Once I realized this it became unequivocally clear that even those people who are not superficial and on my level will unconsciously discriminate against those of us with MPB, without even realizing it! If a woman thinks you must be eating bad and not taking care of your health because of your thinning hair, she will be less attracted to you -- NOT because of the hairloss, but because she thinks you are not health conscious and she wants to be with a man who is

 

I agree. I lost most of my hair at a very early age (before I was 20) and I was sometimes asked what disease I had. Guys made fun of my hair loss, but it was the women who really thought I was sick and stayed away from me.