Guest Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Hey guys... First I would love to thank you all for you r genuine concern for my problem. It really means allot to me to have some support on this issue from a male point of view. Don't worry...you will be hearing allot from me!! Unfortunately I am now all "your new little sister!!" I just wanted to get some thoughts on a few things. First, here is the question of the day, i have to ask this for all the yoiung women with thining hair...because we discuss it often. 1.) Would any of you guys ever date a woman with visibly thin hair? Be honest now.. 2.) One of my three dermatologists put me on 5% Rogaine (extra Strength for men). Have any of you seen results with this product or am I just making the rest of my hair a greasy mess for nothing? ( I HAVE NOTICED A DECREASE IN SHEDDING AFTER USING IT...MY HAIR WAS FALLING OUT IN CLUMPS A MONTH AGO!!) Thanks Gentlemen Jenn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Hey guys... First I would love to thank you all for you r genuine concern for my problem. It really means allot to me to have some support on this issue from a male point of view. Don't worry...you will be hearing allot from me!! Unfortunately I am now all "your new little sister!!" I just wanted to get some thoughts on a few things. First, here is the question of the day, i have to ask this for all the yoiung women with thining hair...because we discuss it often. 1.) Would any of you guys ever date a woman with visibly thin hair? Be honest now.. 2.) One of my three dermatologists put me on 5% Rogaine (extra Strength for men). Have any of you seen results with this product or am I just making the rest of my hair a greasy mess for nothing? ( I HAVE NOTICED A DECREASE IN SHEDDING AFTER USING IT...MY HAIR WAS FALLING OUT IN CLUMPS A MONTH AGO!!) Thanks Gentlemen Jenn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Jotronic Posted April 21, 2003 Senior Member Share Posted April 21, 2003 Jenn, Are you asking because you saw my striking images?LOL, kidding. Seriously, your question is a good one and I have never really thought about it. I've certainly seen women before with hair loss but the thought of dating never crossed my mind. I guess it would really have to depend on what the rest of her qualities were. I won't lie about it, the hairloss would be an issue, at least up front, but if she had other great qualities,(physically,mentally,emotionally etc.), then I could see myself looking past it. Sure, no problem. Thinking about this reminds me of a girl I once dated years ago. She was a VERY attractive Phillipina and was a cheerleader at my college. She certainly had all of the right physical attributes but once she opend her mouth it was like pod of evil wild dolphins commanded by Satan himself were unleashed. She had this absolutely horrible voice that would make men sterile and crack windows from two miles away. Yeah that problem, in hindsight, is something that can't be fixed. Hairloss is. You should feel lucky Peace, Jotronic Carpe Capillus!! www.jotowen.com The Truth is in The Results Dr. Victor Hasson and Dr. Jerry Wong are members of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Beanstalk Posted April 21, 2003 Regular Member Share Posted April 21, 2003 I've been using the 5% Rogaine for about a month now. Before I used it, my hair was falling out FAST. I'm talking like handfuls of hair in the shower every night. When I first started the rogaine, I shedded heavily for a week or two. Really sucked, and made me consider throwing the rest of the bottle in the garbage. But since then my hair has stopped falling out altogether!! (with the exception of a hair or two in the shower). My advice is to stick with the rogaine, and give it time to work. I was so happy the first time I ran my hand through my hair without having it get covered in hairs. I can only imagine how many backflips I'll do if I see some regrowth. Hang in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Yes, Joe you are absolutely stunning!! That much is true, however, I cant date you because we both have the same problem...just kidding! Anyway I guess you are right, I could have allot of worse things wrong with me. At the stage I am at now, yes my hair loss can be fixed. But i am starting to wonder if my pattern will progress, and diffuse everywhere. Then I cant get HT's any more...and then its all downhill form there. Your right, I would not have dated a bald guy before I started losing my hair! I would probably be like...uh no!! But I can say one good thing about all of this hair crap happening to me...It has really taught me to appreciate what you are given by God. I used to always complain I was fat, and ugly. But now I know I was never fat and never ugly, just picking on myself. No wish I used that time more to strut my stuff when I still had my long beautiful hair! Anyway, it has taught me that people are more then just their physical inperfections. Honestly, I can say that now. I was a stuck up snob before. PS-You might think I am a total loser...but can you tell me how to scan pictures into this site? I have no clue how to do it!!! Talk to you later!! jenn Jenn, Are you asking because you saw my striking images?LOL, kidding. Seriously, your question is a good one and I have never really thought about it. I've certainly seen women before with hair loss but the thought of dating never crossed my mind. I guess it would really have to depend on what the rest of her qualities were. I won't lie about it, the hairloss would be an issue, at least up front, but if she had other great qualities,(physically,mentally,emotionally etc.), then I could see myself looking past it. Sure, no problem. Thinking about this reminds me of a girl I once dated years ago. She was a VERY attractive Phillipina and was a cheerleader at my college. She certainly had all of the right physical attributes but once she opend her mouth it was like pod of evil wild dolphins commanded by Satan himself were unleashed. She had this absolutely horrible voice that would make men sterile and crack windows from two miles away. Yeah that problem, in hindsight, is something that can't be fixed. Hairloss is. You should feel lucky Peace, Jotronic Carpe Capillus!! http://www.jotowen.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Jotronic Posted April 21, 2003 Senior Member Share Posted April 21, 2003 Eat your heart out guys,LOL!! Jenn, if you already have your pics on your PC then when you write a new post scroll down to the bottom of the page before you hit "post now". There will be a check box that says,"post attachment" on the left side of the screen. Once you do this then hit "post now" and you will go to the normal screen that says thank you for your post. Then you will be directed to another screen that will ask you to browse for your files. Hit "browse" and you will see your file system. Just direct it to where your file it, double click on the file then post. Done. Peace, Jotronic Carpe Capillus!! www.jotowen.com The Truth is in The Results Dr. Victor Hasson and Dr. Jerry Wong are members of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vocor1 Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 I'd echo Joto's sentiments. Thin hair isn't a deal-breaker -- attitude is. I remember a buddy and I were talking the other day about a woman we both know. She isn't particularly slim or beautiful, but she isn't unattractive either. It was funny because I said something like, "She's a cutie." And he said, "You think that too? I do, but I don't know why!" Well the "why" was we aren't exactly as shallow as men are made out to be. Sure, we are attracted by physical beauty, but it was her friendly attitude that drew both of us to her. It is hard to say exactly what makes a woman unattractive versus attractive. There isn't a single formula. I think "lack of issues" is the very biggest thing to whether a relationship can exist. I can be supportive, very supportive, but the idea of mutual support needs to be there. It can't be a one-way street. Dating a woman with thin hair isn't out of the question. Just more confidence and feminity is required on her part, I believe. Hey, no need to apologize for being cocky when the hair was thicker. That is the way people are when they know they are top notch. That is part of being confident and strong. The next thing is to re-develop that swagger you had. Hopefully, the hair restoration process can help you achieve that end. vocor1 Knowledge is Power If the worst question is the one never asked, then the worst answer is the one never shared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member The Von Posted April 21, 2003 Regular Member Share Posted April 21, 2003 I once dated a girl that buzzed her head. I thought she was very hot. She was a nutcase...but I still thought she was very attractive. Probably not much help...but i thought i would chime in anyway. James. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 Jenn, It seems the ageless confusion between the sexes will never end, but one rule of thumb I've always found to be true is this: most of what holds true for women holds true for men as well. Not that we go for Brad Pitt posters or Chippendales -- though some men certainly do in a certain city north of me (I live in L.A.), which is fine (to each his own). But generally people are people, I've always found. In short, I think that just as some women say a guy's hair is a non-issue, some guys would say the same thing about a woman's hair. Like the women, some of the guys may be less aware than others about what they REALLY think, as opposed to what they SAY they think -- but I believe a certain percentage of men care nothing about a woman's hair. Another, larger percentage (if not most men), care little (as opposed to nothing) about the "hair issue." Again, like certain (if not most) women, for these men (seems Jotronic is one of them), OTHER things matter a great deal more than hair -- though hair would certainly count on first impression. Then, unfortunately, just as with some of the women I've had the misfortune to meet in my life, a certain (hopefully very small) percentage of men wouldn't bother even to talk to a woman, wouldn't even bother to take a second glance at a woman with what such a shallow guy views as "perfect hair." This paltroon is going to be the one who also cares about "perfect" skin, "perfect" breasts, "perfect" legs, "perfect" ass, "perfect" eyes, ad nauseum -- but of course this sort of puddle-of-a-man himself is likely to look no better at 21 than Henry Kissenger or Richard Nixon did at 55. On a bit of a different tac, remember, too, that just as certain guys -- Sean Connery for instance -- look GOOD without hair (in his case just as good as he ever did with hair) -- certain women -- Sinead O'Connor comes vividly to my mind -- look equally good with no hair. I've shaved my head for the past five years and am okay with it, though I'd rather have better hair. So, in conclusion, try not to care about what men -- or even other women -- think about your hair. What's a guy's opinion worth anyway? Whatever you do for your appearance, do it for YOURSELF, if you need to to bolster your inner resources which, as Jotronic so eloquently (if not flirtatiously ) put it, ultimately matter the most. Cheers! Pic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 Just wanted to include some pictures of myself cause I think it helps to have an image of who yoiu are talking to, or about.... These pictures originate 6 months ago...before my hair nightmare began!! These are my inspiration to get my hair totally restored!! I figure it will take me a few years and a llot of money...but hopefully my dreams will come true!! I am not giving up!! ) Talk to you all soon... Jenn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member NW Posted April 22, 2003 Senior Member Share Posted April 22, 2003 Hey Jenn, The Doc (i earlier refered to) that has a specialty for women's hairloss. For what its worth: Dr. Geoffrey Redmond He was from "the bald truth" website and dealt with female hairloss issues. (your pic - well its nice !) I wish ya the best ! NW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member EastCoast Posted April 22, 2003 Senior Member Share Posted April 22, 2003 I am from Philly too. Now a nw2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 Hey, have yoiu had any HT procedures done in Philly? I am trying to find out if there are any GOOD doctors that will help me get the results I want outof an HT. I am from Delaware County... Jenn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member HotCreek Posted April 22, 2003 Regular Member Share Posted April 22, 2003 Honestly speaking, I think that the notion that what other people think about your appearance doesn't matter is one that sounds good but has substantive practical limitations. Like it or not, the way that other people treat you is, to a significant degree, a function of how you look. Numerous independent studies have shown that good looking people get preferential treatment from most people they meet. As a consequence, good looking people have an easier time in life. They get better jobs and have more opportunities in general. And regardless of how "shallow" you think someone may be (and he or she may be shallow indeed!), a man or woman who looks good will have more social or "romantic" opportunities than one who doesn't. In particular, cultural anthropologists have told us that men are almost always initially attracted to women based solely on her physical appearance. That women seem to know this is evidenced by the fact that more than 90% of all cosmetic surgery patients are women. In fact, with the exception of hair transplants, I don't personally know one man who's had cosmetic surgery. But, I know many women who have. On the other hand, men seem to get a sligyt break on the matter of physical appearance, at least as it regards attractiveness to women. In particular, if a man has lots of money, or otherwise appears to be a "high status" male because of his job, position in the community or anything else, women tend to find him very attractive. Just look at the wives of even the homliest pro athletes. So men and women do look at each other differently and cultural anthropologists say the differences are genetically based. When primitive man was trudging across the steppes looking for a mate, the guys who chose "healthy" women were more likely to have healthy children, which is to say children who could survive the rigors of primitive life, and in turn, pass on their genes. It is believed that the healthiest primitive women had physical appearances similar to what men find attractive today. (In fact, the experts have determined a wide variety of physical characteristics in women that define the current-day "ideal" of attractiveness. For instance, an "ideally" attractive woman will have hips about 30% wider than her waist.) On the other hand, the women whose genes were passed on were women who chose a good "resource provider," a man who could successfully club some animal on the head and thereby provide food, not necessarily an attractive man. In particular, women with children could not hunt nearly so efficiently as those without and were much more likely to perish, along with their children, if they didn't have a partner to support them. In fact, it has been shown that once a woman begins sexual relations with a man she undergoes hormonal changes that cause her to "bond" with that man. Primitive women who did NOT bond with their sexual partners, but went their own way, frequently had children and starved. And their genetic predispositions were lost. This is the biological reason why women are so much more concerned with "commitment" than are men. So today, women are more likely to be attracted to men based on money or status (the ability to provide "resources"). But, (unfortunately, some would say) men are more likely to be attracted to women (at least initially) primarily if she is physically attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 I agree with your post. I also watched some program on PBS, where they were talking about why women consider some men to be more attractive than others. An experiment was conducted where women were being shown various faces of males, and within seconds were to decide whether they considered him attractive or not. What was found out, was that men with strong facial features (strong chin, square brow etc.), were almost always picked as the attractive ones. The unlucky guys consisted of those with round faces, weak chins, round forehead etc. Why this prefference over strong facial features? Basically, what was found out was, that the face reflects the amount of testosterone (among others) in the organizm, and the more of it, the less 'feminine' your face appears, and thus it is more appealing to the opposite sex. Like you said - the physical attraction was much more valid, when it was muslce before brains. Things got a little more confused now, but the initial attraction will be still based solely on looks. Jenn - don't despair. I agree losing hair sucks, and it sucks even worse when you're a female, and there are millions of people that are better off because they don't have to deal with it. But stop for a moment to think, that it could be worse. At least you are able to do something about it - and I'm sure you will. We are getting so caught up in this hair issue, forgetting that there are people who wish all they had to worry about was hair. You ask why would a guy date a woman with thinning hair. I'm sure he'd find much more reasons, than if you were disabled, or blind, or maimed. I don't know about other guys here, but I'd rather date a woman with female pattern baldness, than female pattern fatness, and judging from your picture you are nowhere near the second one. I'm sure it hurts to lose a BF, but it's better that it happened now, than years later (just read jo's story). Don't think what 'could have or would have been', focus on solving the problem at hand, and step by step you will find the solution. Good Luck. "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic''. Arthur C. Clarke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member NW Posted April 23, 2003 Senior Member Share Posted April 23, 2003 agree, Good post Hotcreek & Microprose - It's at least "partially" looks, There is an initial physical attraction for both men & women that cannot be denied. Agreeably it varies by different levels somewhat, but looks always count at least for 1st impressions. My opinion NW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member HotCreek Posted April 23, 2003 Regular Member Share Posted April 23, 2003 To stay on topic here, and to answer Jenn's question: Yes, I would date a woman with thinning hair. In fact, I once dated a woman with no hair. She wore a wig of course, and when I first met her she was wearing one. I could not detect it though, but once I asked her out I was amazed that she looked totally different the next time I saw her. Turns out, she had a variety of hair pieces. They all looked fine. And the issue posed no particular problem for me at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 I agree with the earlier post about cultural determinants of attractiveness. The social psychology literature and the evolutionary psychology literature in particular have a great deal more to say on the subject (I taught this stuff for a while). It basically boils down to an evolution-ingrained preference for youth, particularly on the male's part, but also on the female's when she is looking to mate. In other words, all things being equal, a young female would choose a non-bald male of the same age as a bald male b/c baldness is typically associated with aging. Aging is bad, b/c the aged tend to die more than do the young. So, the last thing a woman would want is to get a man (and get pregnant by a man) who is soon to die; therefore a young woman should avoid bald men. Sad but true. However, longer lifespans have clearly changed matters here, and baldness is a genetic leftover. It still affects how we see others, particularly when we are younger. Notice how older guys don't care as much? As for dating a woman who has thinning hair, the same applies. Whereas some (particularly younger) men would not, the reality is that we know that hairloss is not related to virility or lifespan. You can see this confirmed in these posts by men stating what's "really important" - not hair, but other qualities (like hair's a quality, anyway). As for your photo, I am not sure if it's my computer, but I'm having difficulty making out your hair loss. You look like a babe to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 Sorry, I just read where it says that it's an older pic. I would wager your current state is still that of supreme babe, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vocor1 Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 Hmm, looks like all the posters on this thread saw that program on attraction on The Discovery Channel, The Learning Channel, and PBS. LOL! Evolutionary remnant or not, what applies applies. People will judge you on your looks, and how you keep yourself. And yes, if you are very attractive, you'll have an easier life. But not necessarily a better one. The key to the best life possible is figuring out as soon as possible what is important to you. I'll personally always choose financial independence over status, but I'll never sacrifice having fun for the sake of saving pennies. That's who I am, and it took a while to figure it out. I'd like to look good not for status, but because like anyone else who is ambitious and healthy, you want to attract someone like yourself. And that takes attention to detail if you aren't blessed with a ton of natural gifts. But it can be achieved. That is what is so awesome. The power to make a positive change for yourself is probably the most precious gift and trait you have. You have to take advantage of it. vocor1 Knowledge is Power If the worst question is the one never asked, then the worst answer is the one never shared. [This message was edited by vocor1 on April 23, 2003 at 11:56 PM.] [This message was edited by vocor1 on April 23, 2003 at 11:57 PM.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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