Regular Member Imissme Posted January 2, 2008 Regular Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 Hi everyone, I'm 30 years old now and had a follicular surgery done when I was 23 to treat my receding hairline. I'd shaved my head last year and didn't care about exposing the scar. Losing my hair has ruined my life. I don't think society at large truly understands the devastating effects it has on ones confidence and phyche. I've always thought of myself as a good looking guy and having confidence and good looks meant more to me than just getting girls. Losing my hair wasn't just about getting women. It was like losing myself. I'm ashamed to admit that after shaving my head I used makeup on said shaved head to make the hair I had appear more dense. This bought me about 6-7 months, even though the transplant I had done was exposed to some who looked hard, I didn't care. As time passed, hair receded from the hairline surgery I had done and makeup is no longer cutting it. Believe it or not, while it lasted, it did look very natural. I would lie if asked what the scar was from and people believed because they wanted to, I guess. I read an article recently on CNN.com about an black news anchor who had an illness which caused his skin pigment to lighten (going white) which he covered with makeup for television but he couldn't cover it anymore. He was reading stories to children at a school when one of the children noticed one of his hands was white, the other black, and began to cry. It broke his heart and he approached his boss and told him he would need to quit. I completely related. I felt like giving up myself. Looking back, I would have chosen to avoid surgery altogether and just gone chrome up top. But I can't. At any rate. After coming across this site and reading the stories you all have shared has given me the strength to face the facts. I can't really explain how helpful, insightful and empowering reading all your stories and suggestions have been for me. I've never shared any of this, with anyone, until just recently. I've decided to get in touch with Dr.Rahal in Ottawa and try and get with my life. It's been pretty bad the last 8 months or so, since hair loss seems to inadvertently affect SO many other areas of our lives. Going out, dressing up, etc.. Just wanted to say thanks and know I'm not as alone as I thought I was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Imissme Posted January 2, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 Hi everyone, I'm 30 years old now and had a follicular surgery done when I was 23 to treat my receding hairline. I'd shaved my head last year and didn't care about exposing the scar. Losing my hair has ruined my life. I don't think society at large truly understands the devastating effects it has on ones confidence and phyche. I've always thought of myself as a good looking guy and having confidence and good looks meant more to me than just getting girls. Losing my hair wasn't just about getting women. It was like losing myself. I'm ashamed to admit that after shaving my head I used makeup on said shaved head to make the hair I had appear more dense. This bought me about 6-7 months, even though the transplant I had done was exposed to some who looked hard, I didn't care. As time passed, hair receded from the hairline surgery I had done and makeup is no longer cutting it. Believe it or not, while it lasted, it did look very natural. I would lie if asked what the scar was from and people believed because they wanted to, I guess. I read an article recently on CNN.com about an black news anchor who had an illness which caused his skin pigment to lighten (going white) which he covered with makeup for television but he couldn't cover it anymore. He was reading stories to children at a school when one of the children noticed one of his hands was white, the other black, and began to cry. It broke his heart and he approached his boss and told him he would need to quit. I completely related. I felt like giving up myself. Looking back, I would have chosen to avoid surgery altogether and just gone chrome up top. But I can't. At any rate. After coming across this site and reading the stories you all have shared has given me the strength to face the facts. I can't really explain how helpful, insightful and empowering reading all your stories and suggestions have been for me. I've never shared any of this, with anyone, until just recently. I've decided to get in touch with Dr.Rahal in Ottawa and try and get with my life. It's been pretty bad the last 8 months or so, since hair loss seems to inadvertently affect SO many other areas of our lives. Going out, dressing up, etc.. Just wanted to say thanks and know I'm not as alone as I thought I was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wanthairs Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 imissme..... Dude, i understand all your emotiuons. that has been my life story since I was in my late teens. Glad to say that 8 months post op I have a new life altogether and new confidence........go for it...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Imissme Posted January 2, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 Thanks Want. I've definately come to the conclusion that you can't put a price on something like this, yunno? It's worth it all. Glad to hear you're doing well, I hope to be soon!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Imissme, Thank you for sharing your hair loss experience with us. I think we can all relate to the various emotions you've experienced with this. I remember just how badly I felt about myself having lost a good portion of my hair. Having recovered a lot of it now 3 years after I began my hair restoration journey, I feel so much better about myself! Dr. Rahal is an excellent surgeon and will treat you very well. He has a proven track record of producing excellent results. I hope you will share your hair transplant experience and pictures with us by creating a free hair loss weblog. Best wishes, Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member fixing-it Posted January 2, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 Welcome IMISSME, Most everybody on this forum has felt or is feeling what your'e going through so hang in there as there is hope.Look through the photo albums and HT photos and I'm sure you will find somebody with hair loss very similar to yours that had an amazing result.Also have you tried any meds too see if you respond well? Dr Hasson 2-08 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member thanatopsis_awry Posted January 2, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 You are on the right track, man. Keep taking positive action to enrich your hair -- and your life -- and things will slowly but surely get better and better. The most brutal thing to me about hair loss is how seemingly inevitable it is, how we have such a loss of control over our existence and fate -- thanks to hair restoration we have a good deal more control, but it is not an easy beast to tame, nonetheless. While you walk through a limbo of sorts as you work out your follicular woes I'd recommend trying to find a positive diversion that you can immerse yourself in -- be it an intellectual or physical hobby, w/e. ----------- *A Follicles Dying Wish To Clinics* 1 top-down, 1 portrait, 1 side-shot, 1 hairline....4 photos. No flash. Follicles have asked for centuries, in ten languages, as many times so as to confuse a mathematician. Enough is enough! Give me documentation or give me death! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Imissme Posted January 2, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 I tried Propecia a couple years back but male pattern baldness is on my mother's side of the family. From what I understand, the dominant pattern gene is passed down from the mother. All the men on my father's side of the family enjoy full heads of hair. Including mine which made this difficult for him to understand from the onset. At this point, I'll be getting back on the Propecia (wish I would have long ago) and get the surgery done. Just looking forward to enjoying life the way I used to. Baseball caps be damned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Imissme, Baldness is genetically passed down from both sets of parents, not just one. The son receiving the gene from the mother's father rumor is a hair loss myth. Propecia and Rogaine are your two best non surgical treatments to combat against future natural hair loss and might even regrow hair if you are one of the blessed ones. Best wishes, Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Imissme Posted January 2, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 Thanks Thana, I work out at the gym too. Just hard when sweating with an itchy cap on. It's been a rough go of things that mentally, I've made worse. Truth be told, I couldn't help. It just happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Imissme Posted January 2, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 Oh, thanks Bill. I wasn't sure, not that it makes a difference now. Unlike some perhaps, I tried to treat baldness before it set in entirely. I still have some hair on my crown (saw ur pics Bill) and along the top of my head but it's very sparse now. Especially the front 1/3 of my head. The other 2/3 is very thin and stands out. Just a matter of time before it's gone as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Imissme Posted January 2, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 By the way, Bill...how did you position getting HT's to your wife? EDIT: I want to tell my g/f but I have no idea how. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member balody Posted January 2, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 imissme, tell your girl you want your hair back,end of!she must understand how you feel,if not you must be good at hiding it. show her this thread. i just told my missus"i want my hair back,ive got a plan and ive got the money"i fully expected her to say "dont be stupid" but she didnt she just said "ok,as long as you know what your doing".the rest as they say is history. definatly show her this site 2381 fut Dr Bessam Farjo 2201 fut Dr Bessam Farjo 2000+ fut Dr Bessam Farjo My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Bessam Farjo challenge the unchallenged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Janna Posted January 2, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted January 2, 2008 Hi imissme, Just your name tugs at one's heart. It's amazing what a good ht can do to a person's self esteem. It sounds like it'll be hard for you to tell your g/f, but you should try to be honest and forth right with her. I'm sure she'll understand, especially if you include her in the process like showing her some of Dr. Rahal's results. HT has had bad rap for a long time due to good reasons, but it's come a long way too. Good luck with everything. Patient Care Services & UK Patient Advisor for Shapiro Medical Dr. Ron Shapiro, Dr. Paul Shapiro and Dr. David Josephitis are members of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians. http://shapiromedical.com/info@shapiromedical.com http://shapiromedical.com/contact/request-a-consultation/janna@shapiromedical.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Imissme, My wife and I have a very close relationship and talk about everything. She has known for years about my insecurities of losing my hair. So it only made sense to tell her about my thoughts on hair transplantation shortly after I found this online forum community. She even came with me to my first consult and all 3 of my hair transplant surgeries. She has been a great support system. Many people ask the question about how to tell their significant other about the surgery. In my opinion, it just comes down to be honest and open all things. Of course, this comes with time and the willingness to be vulnerable with one another. Keep us posted. You are amongst friends here. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member MrJobi Posted January 3, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted January 3, 2008 Hey man I think everyone on here totally understands how you feel. No doubt, if you are not losing your hair, it is impossible to relate. I went through all of those feelings starting at 23 onward (guilt, nausea,depression, anger, jealousy). No doubt it caused me to lose out in my 20's & 30's, not only in the women dept but confidence as well. HOWEVER you can get it back!! I can tell you the 2nd time around it is much sweeter.. It is like a new beginning.. The key is to take your sad emotions and use them against your fight against hairloss. Seems like you are headed in the right direction with Dr. Rahal .. Be a little patient and you WILL get it back Be strong Brother!!! JOBI 1417 FUT - Dr. True 1476 FUT - Dr. True 2124 FUT - Dr. True 604 FUE - Dr. True My views are based on my personal experiences, research and objective observations. I am not a doctor. Total - 5621 FU's uncut! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Al - Moderator Posted January 3, 2008 Moderators Share Posted January 3, 2008 If you tell her and she thinks it's a dumb idea or that you don't need it then ask her how she would feel if her breasts were getting smaller every week. Would she be ok with slowly losing her breasts until she didn't have any or would she want to do something about it. Al Forum Moderator (formerly BeHappy) I am a forum moderator for hairrestorationnetwork.com. I am not a Dr. and I do not work for any particular Dr. My opinions are my own and may not reflect the opinions of other moderators or the owner of this site. I am also a hair transplant patient and repair patient. You can view some of my repair journey here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member notgoing2gobald Posted January 4, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted January 4, 2008 imissme, I don't know how long you have been with your girlfriend or how close you are, but if it is important to YOU then it should be important to HER. Period. I have been with a girl for over five years now. I told her I was thinking about getting my hair line lowered and hair thickened via ht and she said that she honestly never even thinks about my hair, or hair line when she sees me. *BUT* she said since you have the bucks and it bothers you, then go see what they can do. end of story. In my opinion: if you truly care for someone, then when they are hurting so are you. Just knowing someone you care about is hurting. Like wise, if you explain to her that it is important to you (I left out any mushy wierd shit when I told my girl by the way, just told her.."it bugs me and I have had the same lame ass hair style for seven years"...) then it should be important to her.. keep us posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I feel your pain. I am actually a woman .... also consider myself attractive. I was an internet model in 2002 for a brief period. Now with the severity of my hair loss, I just feel totally ugly. It's taken a huge toll on my self-esteem and I just don't feel good at all. I do not let my husband see me without my wig on, and I won't leave the house without it - EVER. Wigs don't last too long - not even the human kind, so it's getting quite costly. Having to wear wigs limits my activities such as swimming. I can't get under water so it pretty much sucks. If an endocrinologist can't fix my illness which is causing my hair loss, I will get a hair transplant. My illness causes my ovaries to release an overabundance of androgens which are causing my hair to fall out. I hope that regulation of my hormones and some sort of treatment will help, but i won't hold my breath. I have been dealing with all of this since I was 18. I dread washing my hair because more and more falls out. sometimes it falls out in clumps and it's all in the crown area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Magnolia, I hope you will take comfort in knowing you are amongst friends here who can relate to the pain and hardship that hair loss can cause. See also my response to you on the following thread. Best wishes, Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member balody Posted January 4, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted January 4, 2008 magnolia,ditto the above 2381 fut Dr Bessam Farjo 2201 fut Dr Bessam Farjo 2000+ fut Dr Bessam Farjo My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Bessam Farjo challenge the unchallenged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Imissme Posted January 5, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted January 5, 2008 Hello again everyone, Wow - thank you to everyone for the responses, sharing their advice and experiences. I've only been dating this girl for a few months now and I still don't feel very secure in telling her for fears of reprisal. At the same time, I feel like I'm cheating her by not telling her. This is my dilemma. It really, really sucks. Because I've hid it so well I feel like I've misled her. I guess it's the equivalent to wearing a toupee then saying "hey guess what?" I would feel better just running for the hills but I genuinely care for her. What a mess. I've checked all the pictures here I can (before and after) and because I still have some hair in different areas I don't really fit (as of yet) any profile. Can Ultra Refined Unit Grafting be mixed in with existing hair? The reason I ask is because I'm terrified of having it done and not get the results I want. It would probably be easier if I was done losing my hair but maybe I'm wrong? I'm going to do the online evaluation tomorrow on Dr.Rahal's site to see what they say. Any info anyone has would be sincerely appreciated though? What a mess I got myself into here. If I was alone, I could just take care of it. Now...geez. Just didn't know it would happen. Magnolia...I completely understand and relate. I'm going to post in your thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Imissme, Sharing our insecurities with others, especially a significant other is extremely difficult. We feel that we will be judged, ridiculed, and even worse, rejected. Often we hide what we don't like about ourselves in order to protect ourselves from the potential pain of rejection. But those who really care about you will not reject you. In my opinion, open communication in any relationship is extremely important as you begin to develop a strong connection. Vulnerability is often seen as a bad thing but is necessary to grow a relationship. Whether or not you tell this girl or not is up to you. But in the long run, if you end up marrying her, I feel it's important to be vulnerable with her. If she really cares for you, she will appreciate this and be willing to open up to you about her insecurities as well. Trust me, everyone has them. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Imissme, Hair is transplanted in and around natural hair all the time. Dr. Rahal has done an excellent job of this. Keep in mind that any time hair is transplanted in between or around existing natural hair, there is a risk of shock loss. Best wishes, Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member Imissme Posted January 5, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted January 5, 2008 Thanks Bill. You're right about the relationship bit. No doubt. I'll just have to be honest about it. It is what it is. I'll figure it out. On the medical end...@#$%. I'm going to have to submit some head shots to Dr.Rahal and see what they suggest. I almost wish I was bald now so I could just do what I want and be done with it. All I can say is wow. Thanks again everyone. You're all living proof there are a lot of good people in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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