JC, sorry to hear your story man!!
I had the same thing of permenant shockloss from my first HT. My good stuff was lost!
It was a terrible experiance, I watched myself go through. And the timing was aweful... I had just lost my job. I went through so much depression, which probably added to it!
I, did however, pick myself up and regained hope! I got another procedure, after I found a job. I didn't let it bring me down. It wasn't worth it.
Unfortunetly, that was another let down....
But, I thank god I found this site when I returned home from my second procedure. I don't know how I would have dealt with it, if I didn't realize that real hope that was out there!
I curse these doctors that mis-lead and bring false hope in what they belive are ethics!
Don't give up brother!, I've been there, as many others! And if you try hard enough, you'll bring yourself through!