Free Speech and Accountability Is Not Only For Surgeons

[Melvin- Admin]

Recently, a forum poster quibono accused the forum of censorship and blocking his experience. First of all, I want to say that this particular person was someone that I helped for the past three years. Someone who adamantly requested I delete his profile, despite that being against our rules. He created a thread three years ago about another physician whom he essentially accused of hair rape as well.

He posted his experience with pictures, never once did I try and take the post down. Never once did I tell him to remove pictures. On his own accord he asked me to remove the pictures. Then on his own accord he asked me to remove the thread from public view, and then he asked me to delete his profile. I did all three of those things, despite that being against our rules to help him "move on."

He creates a new account days later and then recreates the entire thread three years later. After I had already reached out to the physician, the physician wrote out his response, which was an ethical one might I add. In the end, he offered to fix the issue for free. How is this fair to the physician? Is it right for the patient to take down the thread whenever he wants and then rehash it all out again years later to continually ruin this doctors reputation, even after he had already offered him a solution. How is this right? It isn't.

This same patient went to the doctor who did his first operation with no complaints. The initial issue was that he was unhappy with a gap in the hairline and the appearance of his donor. This particular member became a frequent poster on this forum after his unhappy experience. This member is not some guy who doesn't know anything about hair transplants, it's the opposite, he is very well-versed and often gives good advice. He is no novice.

After I took down this members recreation of the first surgeons thread, he messaged me wanting to bring it back. Unfortunately, I could not because I deleted his original account (per his request). As previously stated, it is not keeping a fair and balanced forum if we allow patients to delete negative reviews after surgeons respond and then have them repost it years later. He requested to create a thread about the repairing doctor. 

He returned to the doctor in 2019 for a repair. According to him, the doctor essentially hair raped him too, he was once again a poor and defenseless victim at the hands of a merciless surgeon who's goal was to destroy his hair. According to him, he was not given clear directives before surgery. He was not told how many grafts per cm2 the surgeon would transplant. He complained that a simple repair turned out to be a huge problem.

My Telephone Call with the doctor 
 

After the thread was posted I called the doctor to discuss the issues. After speaking with the doctor it was clear that the directives were in fact explained to the patient. At one point the doctor drew the hairline and the patient said "that's exactly where I need density." After suffering from a bad experience his second procedure, are we to believe he walked in there blindly, without being clear about what he wanted and where? This doctor is one of the most thorough surgeons I have ever met. This member was over the moon after the surgery, he commented how precise the angles appeared and how refined the work looked. 

It was not until 7-8 months after surgery that this member began complaining of the appearance. There was a curl in the front of his hairline. This wasn't even an issue to me personally, but I tried to empathize with him and gave him suggestions such as an ironing comb. During this time, he was expressing his dissatisfaction with the doctor I recall the doctor telling him that his concerns were virtually impossible to understand without an in person consultation. In the end, the doctor offered to remove some grafts if that is what he wanted, despite him not believing it was necessary. The patient declined and requested a refund. 

Now, the patients issue is that he didn't offer this immediately. Keep in mind, this patient is complaining that he has 'too much' hair. A complaint that I don't believe has ever been made in the history of this forum. His hair in my opinion looks fantastic. He has come to the conclusion that the curl was a result of too many grafts being placed per cm2. A conclusion he came up with on his own. He has not returned to the doctor for an in person consultation. He also declined the removal of grafts.  As for the number of grafts per cm2, how is the doctor supposed to give an assessment of how many grafts were transplanted without knowing the number placed by the previous surgeon. Also, was this a question asked before surgery? Accountability is a two-way street.

Sharing Experiences Does Not Equal Slander

I decided to take down that thread because it was riddled with character assassination. It wasn't like he shared his pictures and said he was unhappy with the appearance. As I told him in private, no one can tell you to be happy about your results. Even if I think they are good, some may think they are bad, and vice versa. I'm totally fine with honest critiques about the results. I'm not okay with misinformation written intentionally to tarnish the doctors reputation. 

There will never be a way to please everyone. But I have to do what is right. Despite the fact that some may be unhappy with how things are handled. I try and be as fair as possible. I will not be allowing another slanderous thread knowing what I know. I met with this doctor in 2018, I spent well over an hour with him. He was one hundred percent honest from the start and very clear in the objectives. I did not ask him how many grafts per cm2 would be transplanted, so how could I expect him to answer that after the fact. At the end of the day, we are adults, not children. If he wants to post his results and share his dissatisfaction with the appearance that is totally fine. But I cannot allow slander. 

[deeznuts]

True. It's been really hard to figure out what the unbiased truth is. This whole situation does boil down to a he said/she said scenario. I've read all the threads and personally just feel like it's super hard to discern the whole story without actually reading all the emails and knowing exactly how the conversations went down. It's really hard to make a judgment either way just because the patient seems upset and Dr K really hasn't said all that much. Like I just got the feeling the whole time that I was only hearing part of the story, and then from Dr. K, he didn't really say anything. I don't really feel it's fair for anyone to make a judgment based on what we've read so far. 

Though my personal opinion is that I really feel like he should have taken Dr. K up on the offer and put things to rest. It's legitimately the best way for both parties to proceed if he hasn't burnt his bridges with Dr. K already... But at the same time, his hair looks great. Some people would kill to get "botched" like that. And have a free session thrown in afterward... I'm still kinda clueless how 70 grafts/cm is such killer density anyway as if it's in the hairline it's probably mostly singles and lots of people have native density that exceeds 70. At worst, he could just use thinning scissors like they use at hair salons to thin out his hair. What an all around weird case lol. I've never heard of too dense before. 

[Melvin- Admin]

@qui bono

You have never once taken any accountability for yourself. You’re quick to place the blame whenever to whomever possible. You directed the doctor to place more hair in your hairline, which had already been transplanted by another surgeon. 

The disparity between your hairline and your midscalp was YOUR own doing and your choice. YOU requested the doctor to place hair there, YOU paid for those grafts to be placed and I quote “exactly where I need density.” 

YOU are not a child, nor are you a novice. YOU need to take accountability for YOUR own actions. This victimhood nonsense is complete an utter BS. Your comments are absurd. You requested the doctor put hairs there!!! How could any surgeon be evasive on that or any more direct, he followed YOUR request.

Here’s an analogy to “communicate” the absurdity of your comments. You go bankrupt, then afterward seek help from a financial planner. The financial planner helps you and you end up with as much money has you had before the bankruptcy. But now you’re upset that you’ll pay more on taxes. So you complain to the financial planner that you never consented for him to help you that much. Because now you’ll be at a higher tax bracket. Absolutely absurd.

In the end, even if the doctor removed grafts from your hairline, I’m sure you’d come back and say “you never consented to remove that much, or that it was not communicated with you beforehand.” Regardless it would be something. 

I’m locking this thread because I have no desire to go back and forth and argue an absurd point. It’s clear to me that your only goal is to create issues where there are none. Some people are beyond help.