please help-please

[urizen]

I've been researching this forum over 6 months, sorry to have so dramatic post.

 

The thing is i can't stand it anymore. really.I started to loose hair when I was about 21. Now I'm 23 and NW 3 and thinning everywhere like crazy. It doesn't bother me that much until 3 months ago when I looked my self at the mirror and started to cry .

 

I got into serious depression with high anxiety attacks. I literally locked myself at home, just going to school and going back home immidiatly. ?±t becomes a nighmare to go public and i hate wearing hat. I started taking anti depressants which was good for a while but when i learned that they (paxil and tranxilene) cause more hair loss , i stopped using immidiately. Now things are much worse.

 

I know being bald is sort of my destiny ( all uncles, cousins from both my moms and my dads side are bald) but i can't accept the fact that why it has become at such young age.When I go to school , it kills me to see the guys with full of hair, especially I was one of them 2 years ago. Eventhough I can be considered sort of a religious guy, I curse god everynight why this happened to me.

 

Also I have some friends who have similar losses like me (some of them are worse than me ), they seem to get well with this. I admire them because of that because I can't even recognise myself anymore. In high school, i was the most popular and most noticable guy. Until two years ago, I was social butterfly going out partying, dating with girls etc. Now ?±'m someone who spends all of his time at home in front of a lap top, a loser. Everytime I go out i feel like everyone is looking at me and humiliating me like I have some sort of disability. The word "confidence" has left me a long time ago, i can't even find myself.

 

I researched about hairtransplant , of course. I mailed with Rahal and H&W. My first reaction was to get a HT immidiately but they both replied me im too young and possible candidate for nw5-6. Later on , I knew they were right and there is no way that i can get "perfect" result (no offense, by perfect i mean my exact old hair back). I live in Turkey so both clinics are too far for me and of course since I'm 23, ?± don't have that sort of finances. Eventhough I had, i really don't wanna be the guy who had HT at 23 , everyone will make fun of me and especially the fact that HT will not achieve my goals.

 

So at this point I'm stuck. I can't find anyway to deal with this and it kills me.The worst thing is, it'll get worse and worse. I can't even stand to look at my self in the mirror, how could I find someone to like me ? I feel like a mutant, sort of infected. I can't talk about this to anyone, since I isolated all my friends for the last 1 year.

 

Please give me some ideas, or something to go on with my life.

[mattj]

You make no mention of medication. Have you considered taking propecia?

[urizen]

sorry mattj, i'm on propecia for 1.5 months and taking some vitamins(biotin).

[dakota3]

I know Im going to sound Cli'che but why dont you try buzzing your hair down to see what it would look like? Lots of guys do that now and IMO its a good look. I in fact buzz my hair down and although I didnt like it at first now I get compliments saying "you look good shaved down". The only thing that bothers me now is the 8 inch scar on the back of my head. And boy I'll tell you it bothers me more than losing my hair ever did. You are young and chances are you will end up a high NW level so HT's should be out of the realm for you any ways. I started losing my hair at 21 and had a HT at 27 thinking it would be the greatest thing in the world. Well I was wrong and now that I am older and wiser to what HT's can do for you I would never reccommend 1 to any one under 30. Just my opinion!

[urizen]

dakota3,

thanks for your answer but i tried that once and only response i got was " hey be careful because you're getting bald." like i don't know about that.

i know i'm gonna be worse by the time and that's the fact i can't accept. I know i have to but it's hard really. Everytime i look into mirror i can't stop crying and all i think was i dont wanna live like this. and there's nothin i can do about it.

[drmstx]

Uri,

 

You remind me of myself about 5 years ago. Most popular/handsome guy in school and college and suddenly reduced to a geeky freak because of my hair loss by the time I entered grad school.

 

Unfortunately, at that time I had not heard of any of these medications (Propecia or Minox) or any balding concealers (like Dermatch) etc.

 

Here is a list of what I tried to do and what worked for me. Hope you can get something useful out of this post.

 

1. Work out - I started swimming and running and that took my mind off the balding issue for at least 1.5-2 hours a day. Plus the added benefit of being healthy.

 

2. Focus on your creative side. Start painting, learn cooking; Anything that can make you feel better about yourself.

 

3. Stay away from smoking, anti-depressants, drinking, drugs or any other harmful thing. These things only offer you a temporary solution.

 

4. Concentrate on your academics. Good grades = Good Jobs = More Money = Dough for an awesome HT in the future. Think about it.

 

5. Positive thinking is something that helped me a lot. Be thankful for this God-given beautiful life. Think how lucky you are compared to many others in this world. I work in a hospital and I once came across a 22 year cancer patient who lost his hair because of Chemotherapy and medications. This guy was one of the wisest guys I have ever me. Such a mature outlook in life at such a young age! We all should take a page out of his book.

 

6. I agree it gets hard to get girls when you are losing hair and lack in confidence. I did not know about these at that time but have you tried concealers?

 

7. Read. All kinds of books. Nature, wildlife, philosophy, photography, anything that can make your horizons widen.

 

8. Also, Propecia and Minoxidil.

Try for at least 6 months. I did not have access to these drugs when I first started noticing my baldness. Single most mistake of my life so far!

 

Hope this helps. Rahal and H&W were right to say you are too young for a HT. Wait for another 3-4 years at least. We live in a cosmetic world my friend. But remember and do not let balding interfere with your day to day life. You intellect and health are not at all reflected by the amount of hair on your head.

[impactmid]

Urizen, hang in there. Yes we all get depressed by it but there is more to life, like good friends. It sounds like you have some friends that are going through it. They may seem "ok" with it, but I'm willing to bet its hurting them inside too. You guys can support one another.

 

Definitely throw yourself out there, join some athletic club(s) at school like martial arts or a book club. Most likely you'll find people there who will like you for your inner self and not so much the fratty kind (no offense to fraternity guys).

 

Like drmstx said, concentrate on school so you can make the big bucks to get a kick a$$ HT.