I've been researching this forum over 6 months, sorry to have so dramatic post.
The thing is i can't stand it anymore. really.I started to loose hair when I was about 21. Now I'm 23 and NW 3 and thinning everywhere like crazy. It doesn't bother me that much until 3 months ago when I looked my self at the mirror and started to cry .
I got into serious depression with high anxiety attacks. I literally locked myself at home, just going to school and going back home immidiatly. ?±t becomes a nighmare to go public and i hate wearing hat. I started taking anti depressants which was good for a while but when i learned that they (paxil and tranxilene) cause more hair loss , i stopped using immidiately. Now things are much worse.
I know being bald is sort of my destiny ( all uncles, cousins from both my moms and my dads side are bald) but i can't accept the fact that why it has become at such young age.When I go to school , it kills me to see the guys with full of hair, especially I was one of them 2 years ago. Eventhough I can be considered sort of a religious guy, I curse god everynight why this happened to me.
Also I have some friends who have similar losses like me (some of them are worse than me ), they seem to get well with this. I admire them because of that because I can't even recognise myself anymore. In high school, i was the most popular and most noticable guy. Until two years ago, I was social butterfly going out partying, dating with girls etc. Now ?±'m someone who spends all of his time at home in front of a lap top, a loser. Everytime I go out i feel like everyone is looking at me and humiliating me like I have some sort of disability. The word "confidence" has left me a long time ago, i can't even find myself.
I researched about hairtransplant , of course. I mailed with Rahal and H&W. My first reaction was to get a HT immidiately but they both replied me im too young and possible candidate for nw5-6. Later on , I knew they were right and there is no way that i can get "perfect" result (no offense, by perfect i mean my exact old hair back). I live in Turkey so both clinics are too far for me and of course since I'm 23, ?± don't have that sort of finances. Eventhough I had, i really don't wanna be the guy who had HT at 23 , everyone will make fun of me and especially the fact that HT will not achieve my goals.
So at this point I'm stuck. I can't find anyway to deal with this and it kills me.The worst thing is, it'll get worse and worse. I can't even stand to look at my self in the mirror, how could I find someone to like me ? I feel like a mutant, sort of infected. I can't talk about this to anyone, since I isolated all my friends for the last 1 year.
Please give me some ideas, or something to go on with my life.