The next (scary) steps

[cimbom]

Hello again,

 

After many emails back and forth, I have largely decided that I will be going with H&W for my HT surgery. I was quite surprised actually, by the lack of response I got from other reputable surgeons but that's another topic of discussion. Their recommendation for me is 1,500 - 2,000 grafts which is what I was sort of expecting but it is an amount which starts to get on the expensive side. Now they are in the process of seeing if any of their past younger female patients are willing to provide their email address so that I can have a chat to them about their experiences. This should be interesting and useful.

 

Now that my decision has largely been made, the next factor to look into is timing. This will depend mainly on finances which I will be more sure about in about a week. I am hoping to get it done by January next year.

 

The really scary part of this process will be telling my husband. I am really worried about this. I don't know if he "knows" about the hair loss - he is like those stereotypical guys that women get annoyed at because he didn't notice their new hair cut or something like that. Except for me, I guess it's sort of a good thing. I have never mentioned it to him - it's been part of my denial process I guess.

 

I feel really bad for burdening him with this (I've had other health issues previously too) and I also feel like I'm a failure of a woman because I'm experiencing something which young women shouldn't have. Once I tell him, the issue becomes externally "real" whereas previously it was just real to me, but I guess that it would have inevitably reached that stage anyway. Such a stressful thing for me at the moment. Will be even more embarrassing for me when I say I want to go overseas for HT surgery.

 

If any of you have advice, I'd love to hear it. Thanks

[PupDaddy]

cimbom,

 

You're being way too self-judgmental and hard on yourself, if I might be so bold.

 

Do you know how many cosmetic procedures are had by women each year in the United States alone? Upwards of 10 million, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, and rising.

 

With modern advancements in surgical and non-surgical cosmetic procedures and societal acceptance of them, it is almost more difficult to find a woman who hasn't had some sort of cosmetic procedure. You are in vast and good company.

 

Once you relieve yourself of the stressof thinking about your hair loss everyday, you might well find that you are an even better companion and partner to your husband -- more confident, less distracted, and not feeling like you are hiding some dreadful secret. Many people who have had successful ht procedures report that it was life changing for them and a boon to their relationships. Good on you for taking this step and deciding to suffer no longer.

 

Best luck!

[aim4hair]

I think it's ok though, just share it with him, most husbands would love to have their wives always looking their best.

See IMHO, many guys such as my self, are hesitant to go the HT route because once they do they will lose the option to shave (which is so common now and most guys with hair loss sport that look) so if the HT goes wrong they have to live with it forever and they can't even shave.

But for women since they do not shave anyways, so going for an HT is a win win situation even if god forbid the result is not as they expected, it will not change their look snd inworst cases they will most likely look just as they did before the HT. unlike some other surgeries like a nose job where it will change your whole look either flr the better or worse and if it goes wrong, you are screwed.

 

Just be open with him, and im sure he will understand at the end of the day there is no guy that does not like to have his girl look better

[cimbom]

Thanks PupDaddy and aim4hair. The main thing that's concerning me though is that even after having the HT surgery, I will still be worrying about hair loss because the thinning hasn't stopped yet. I am starting Propecia in two weeks and I'm really hoping that it stops the hair loss getting worse. The HT will be in the front corners of my head but I'm worried that I'll eventually lose hair at the top of my head etc if it doesn't stop soon. Also, just for this one HT surgery, I'm looking at 10k. Will the result be worth it? Will it be a noticeable result? We don't have huge incomes so it makes me feel a bit guilty. Makes me feel a bit overwhelmed thinking about all these possibilities.

[cimbom]

Bump...Can someone give me their opinion on whether 1,500-2,000 grafts at the front corners of my head will be enough to be a significant, noticeable result?

[Spanker]

Without pics it will be hard to tell.

[cimbom]

I don't feel comfortable putting pics online. Just as a general guide, what do you think?

[burned1]

While my wife knew of my hair condition (scarring) from the get-go, it was tough to come out and express the lack of self confidence I was feeling. It felt like admitting a vulnerability or weakness. I finally just put all the documentation together and sat her down, talked about how I felt and what I was considering. She was extremely supportive, all the while stating that if it needed to be done, it was only for my own mental well being- she was happy with me the way I was. You will likely find that your spouse will show the same support. Be honest about the way it makes you feel, since minimizing it will only make it harder for them to comprehend the need for it. After our talk, there was such a burden lifted from me. I hope it will for you as well. Your spouse should be your main support network. I also agree that it will likely make your marriage stronger, if you allow your spouse to support you during this time.

 

Also, I had my own HT done at H&W a few months back. They are a class act and made it easy! Best of luck!

[jacksonbrowne]

Propecia for females? Not concerned that it hasn't been studied in depth for use in women or its long term effects?

 

Snap a pic of just your hairline, don't worry, no one will be able to tell who you are. If you expect an answer, even a ballpark figure, anyone, medical professional or not, will need a baseline from which to judge. Otherwise, it's like trying to land a jumbo jet while flying blind.

[cimbom]

I am a bit concerned but I am more concerned about going bald in my 20s. My doctor said that he has a number of women patients taking it and it's only a small dose (half a tablet every 3-4 days compared to 1 per day for men). I won't continue taking it unless I see results and will be monitored by my doctor. I don't really have any other option

[formertrackstar]

Any pics?

[cimbom]

Still considering it. The bizarre thing is that I have emailed two other highly regarded doctors (Dr Rahal and Dr Feller) who didn't get back to me at all. Maybe they're not experienced in female patients or maybe they think I'm crazy? I at least expected a reply though. I even followed up with them 1-2 times each too.