NEED ADVICE ASAP

[Jjarden]

Hello,

 

I quickly need advice from as many people as possible. My appointment is scheduled and fast approaching, and I have a buddy who is trying VERY hard to talk me out of it. He is filling my head with so much DOUBT that I wanted to get YOUR take on the situation, and see if you can address his concerns, and help me make the final decision. He sent me this email today...I especially concerned about what he says in #3 & #4

 

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As your friend, I want to make one last attempt to influence your decision on this. I am worried for you about this on the following counts:

 

1. Cost... you really need money right now and you 'want' a hair transplant but it is not a 'need' though I recognize you want it a lot.

 

2. This is surgery that has been a disaster on a % of people. I know not the % but it is way greater than zero so from my perspective you are risking your health.

 

3. The worst thing that could happen is there is some risk it will look worse when you are done. That would really upset you.

 

4. There are quite a few people (I'm not one of them) that will think non-flattering things about it. A lot of people will notice and I have no idea how many will think non-flattering things but I'm certain there will be some. Conversely, I can't imagine anyone will think 'flattering things' thus I wonder about the value from that perspective.

 

5. Can we agree that it is vanity/ego that motivates us to do things like this? If I had ever believed that I would actually be more attractive to women that interest me if I had done a hair transplant, I would have probably done it. Fortunately for me, I never felt that way. Bottom line on this is be conscious you are making a vanity decision.

 

6. You have a wonderful and lovely wife who probably could care less whether you do it or not. If she actually wants you to do it that is a whole different story. The point is that you are not trying to attract other women.... at least I hope you're not.

 

7. Finally, the surgery is a positive thing ONLY if:

 

a) it turns out that you feel much better about yourself for the rest of your life for doing it

 

and

 

b) it 'truly' gives you a lot more confidence in front of people and

 

c) you think it really does look better and

 

d) there are not health issues and

 

e) the cost does not cripple your financial situation and

 

f) you don't care what other people think wrt non-flattering thoughts and

 

g) it really does improve your already good looks.... then it will have been a good decision. For your sake, I hope those 7 things (a-g) are true if you choose to do it.

 

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THANK YOU for weighing in.

[Time to do something]

If this will make you feel better about yourself then I say go for it. This procedure can be a disaster on a % of people. I had very poor results with my first two procedures and had a third in November with Dr. Ron Shapiro who is one of the best. It hasn't been long enough for the hair to sprout yet but I am very optimistic. From the years I've been on here Dr. Ron Shapiro has had consistent good results along with Hasson and Wong. I would stay away from hair mills like Bosley, because I've seen a lot of very unhappy patients from them. As poor as my results from the first two procedures were due to low growth the hair that did surface looks natural. There is nothing fake or bad looking about it. Hair transplants have been refined a lot in the past five to ten years. I don't know how you'd be risking your health in the hands of a good doctor. I think this person is speaking from ignorance. Who cares what other people think about you getting a procedure. I seriously doubt unless you tell them they will be able to tell any way, they will just think something looks different about you. Remember this is a gradual process over a year not overnight. So what if it is vanity or ego? I respect someone who has pride in their personal appearance and have no respect for someone who lets themselves go to pot. The idea that you'd be doing this to 'attract another woman' is insulting. What is wrong with wanting to look your best for yourself, wife and others? If this will give you extra confidence it will spill over into other areas of your life. Is the person offering you this advice bald? If not how can they offer you advice on something they haven't gone through? If they are bald then maybe this isn't for them but I wonder what their motive is for trying to talk you out of it?

[BigBill1234]

What a great friend that seems to care a lot about you. He brings up some good points. I don't know how bald you are or what your expectations are, but there have been many that have been let down. No one can change your idea about this.. It's up to you. I hope you are going to a great doctor!

[windjc]

Your friend has some good points if you are not going to a great doctor. If you are going to a great doctor, then most of your friends points are mute.

 

I wish your friend would have also said "and I'll support your decision no matter what you choose or what the results are".

[Tao]

At the very least, all those things your friend mentioned are worth considering except for what anyone else might think about your HT. I guarantee you that if anyone is going bald, whether it be male or female, and they knew they could do something about it, they would seriously consider a HT. And like others have pointed out, the change is very gradual and most people just notice that you look different but aren't sure why. Or they think you're just letting your hair grow out now. It's actually quite amusing and even satisfying to experience seeing the looks of others as you gradually gain hair. That said, the financial hit of a HT, especially if you need more than one, and don't kid yourself - most do, is significant. Do not put your family or your personal finances in jeopardy. Save until you can afford a HT. However, if you can afford it, then I gotta say, it really does make a difference in your life. I don't consider myself a vane person, but getting a nice hairline back to frame my face has made a pretty dramatic difference and I'm currently saving to finish the job on my crown. That means no luxury items and trips for awhile and other sacrifices. But then hopefully I can move on and put my attention elsewhere instead of my balding pate'. Good luck with your decision!

[From Bald To Bold]

I say it is your decision and hope you have done your homework in choosing the right doctor. With that being said, you have a great friend who cares about you but this is something that you need to think about and decide if its something you really want. Factor out everything and make your decision off of that. Let us know what your decision is and keep in touch!

[Jjarden]

Thank You all for giving your advice...I appreciate it...if others want to continue weighing in that would be great. One of you asked about my friend and the condition of his head, and whether or not that was influencing him and why he is trying to get me to reconsider...he is a Norwood Level 7.

[hairthere]

If you go with a great doc, and get a great job done, your buddy will be asking for your surgeons' number. that being said, those "ifs" are paramount. Which doc did you choose, what's your level of balding, how many grafts are you going for? Answer those questions and we can tell you if your friend has valid points. Also, most people who have not done their due diligence don't really understand modern HTs and what they can accomplish. Most people still use the term "plugs" to describe a hair transplant. Sadly, that's because a lot docs out there are still doing shoddy work.

[Sparky]

If you have 1 iota of doubt dont do it. Think about it more, listen to your friend as a true friend wouldnt steer you in the wrong direction.

[Megatron]

Originally posted by Sparky:

If you have 1 iota of doubt dont do it. Think about it more, listen to your friend as a true friend wouldnt steer you in the wrong direction.

 

ignore this post. doubts are normal. if you had no doubts than I'd be worried that you were living in a fantasy world. listening to a friend that seems ignorant about HTs would be pretty dumb too.

 

like the other people above have said, if you've done your homework and have made a wise decision on doctor and HT plan then it'll probably be a very positive thing. if not, you're rolling the dice.

[Nicky]

your friend does seem to care about you..

 

if you choose a good doctor and think clearly on what you want, what you would like to achieve then i say go for it..

 

but in the end its all about what you want.. and if you decide to get the surgery just because you want to improve yourself..then consider it..

dont rush into anything...take your time..

 

wishing you the best of luck!