Regular Member valencia Posted December 16, 2008 Regular Member Share Posted December 16, 2008 A asks B for a lighter.B pulls out HUDGE lighter ??¦.A says ???DAMN!!! That is a big F**** lighter.What does it say on it?!...BIC??¦wow that is some lighter you have man,where did you get it? A says ???my Genie gave it to me??? B says ???You have a GENIE!!?? A says ???yeah man I keep her here in my Jack Daniels bottle??¦here open the bottle and see your self??? B opens the bottle and hears the genie ???hey what sup man do you have a wish???? B all exited says ???O YEAH I want million bucks !!!??? The sky becomes dark and million ducks start falling from the sky saying QUACK!QUACK!QUACK QUACK!QUACK!QUACK !!!!!!!!!!!!! B says ???HEY Genie whatcha doin I wanted million BUCKS!!!! A says ???....F***....I know man Genie is hard at hearing??¦do you really think I asked her for a 12 inch BIC??!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member valencia Posted December 17, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted December 17, 2008 Two laser combs meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news ??“ the video is dead??!!!" "Woah, what the hell happened to it?" "Well it was on its way over to glory??¦.and then the other day driving didn't brake properly and boom - it hit the curb, flipped over and it crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window." "What a horrible way to die!" "No no, it survived that, that didn't kill it at all. So, it is landed in my upstairs bedroom and it is all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, it spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room,where I live,by my master bed??¦.., and reaches up for the handle to try to pull it self up. It's just dragging itself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of it, crushing and breaking most of it's bones." "What a way to go, that's terrible!" "No no, that didn't kill it??¦it survived that. It managed to get the wardrobe off ??¦ and crawls out onto the landing, ??¦ tries to pull itself up on the banister but under his weight,(7000 hits)??¦ the banister breaks and it goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on it, pinning it to the floor, sticking right through him." "Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!" "No no, that didn't kill it, ??¦it even survived that. So it's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. It crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull itself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on??¦ and burned most of it's tape off it." "Man, what a way to go!" "No no, it survived that, it survived that! ??¦.It's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and it spots the phone and tries to pull itself up, to call for help, but instead ??¦ grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so it got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through it man??¦.." "Wow??¦??¦Now that is one awful way to go!" "No no, it survived that..." "Hold on now, just how the hell did it die?" "I shot it!" "You shot it? What the hell did you shoot it for?" "It was wrecking my house??¦man" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Valencia, What are you talking about? You're starting to sound a lot like John36, and ofr that matter, another nonsensical poster from the past. Hmmm.... Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member valencia Posted December 18, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted December 18, 2008 Oh I am sorry Bill...I did not want to sound like him....I just thought since this si the forum for jokes to tell few... I read this instructions Posted January 17, 2005 07:30 PM January 17, 2005 07:30 PM Use this forum for anything you feel does not belong in other forums on the message board. Sports, muscle cars, hunting, fishing, current events, anything (no nudity, please) This is your forum to do with as you please. -Robert ------------------------------ Check out the results of my surgical hair restoration performed by Dr. Jerry Cooley by visiting my Hair Loss Weblog I don't like John36.He is NOT my friend. I agree with you he was nonsensical poster. I think he is actually completely emotional,like crying baby??¦but don't tell him I said this please. Also please could you tell Feller and PGP not to call people phony's ,crazy and fools? I am a female I get upset easy...it is not fair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member thanatopsis_awry Posted December 18, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted December 18, 2008 Same thought sprung to mind; but, IMO, Valencia is actually too coherent and intelligent to be the people I think your thinking of! ----------- *A Follicles Dying Wish To Clinics* 1 top-down, 1 portrait, 1 side-shot, 1 hairline....4 photos. No flash. Follicles have asked for centuries, in ten languages, as many times so as to confuse a mathematician. Enough is enough! Give me documentation or give me death! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regular Member valencia Posted December 19, 2008 Author Regular Member Share Posted December 19, 2008 This joke is called how to make Blonde scream Video comes to HTN and says "Hey you all...I bet no one can make Blonde scream like I do!!! Any takers??!!! Some members say sure.... So Video says....I played hard core video to this Blonde and she was screaming THE WHOLE TIME the video was running.... Thanatopsis_awry says...."Uber"...I told that Blonde she is not coherent...she can not be taken seriousely...I spoke to her 1 hour putting her down...She SCREAMED for one HOUR!! Desperately Seeking says....that's nothing...I went down on Blonde and did my thing....I was desperately seeking and never found the damn thing....she was screaming for 2 hours man... Bro says...that is nothing I came to Blonde and explained her my theory that I was not laid for 30 years because I am not tall and I am bold...and that even fat chicks get laid all the time...she screamed for 3 hours man... Grow Please Grow says....that is nothing....I jumped on the B****ch made love to her for 10 min ...I came 3 times...she came zero...I wiped my D**** of the curtain...she started to scream....I shot her in the leg with my gun....she screamed for 4 hours... Video says ....you phonys...and started to runn....with the money... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member PLEASE GROW PLEASE Posted December 19, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted December 19, 2008 Yeah Val she was hot as hell but at least the propecia has enabled me to go 3 times even though it was only for 10 minutes . Someones gonna get mad at you for the insults. I want what your taking . Gotta be shrooms Ill say sorry if you send me a pic of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member hairthere Posted December 19, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted December 19, 2008 Wow, what a nut bar.... I am the owner/operator of AHEAD INK a Scalp Micropigmentation Company in Fort Lee, New Jersey. www.aheadink.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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