Senior Member petesman Posted February 26, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 26, 2008 did ya here about the dyslexic raver? he was caught dealing F's 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 26, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 26, 2008 two dyslexic skier were on top of the slopes about to take off down the hill but were not sure about this particular slope.. they stopped a passer by and said ,, excuse me sir but do we zig zag down the slope or zag zig? the man replies.. im not sure im a tobogganist.. oh replies one of the dyslexics, in that case can i get 20 malboro and a lighter please! 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 26, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 26, 2008 how do u no its bed time in michael jacksons house? when the big hand touches the little hand 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 26, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 26, 2008 an english man, a scotts man and am irish man were facing a firing squad.. the captain says to the scotts man have u any last requests.. yes he says, can u get someone to play the scottish national anthem from start to finish with bag pipes.. the same question to the english man.. yes says the english can u get a great singer to sing the long version of god save the queen? then the question was put to the irish man.. well paddy, any last requests? yes, shoot me first! 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 26, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 26, 2008 a man takes a vow of silence and enters a monastery.. the head monk tells him that he can only speak 2 words every 10 years so choose them carefully.. 10 years pass and the man goes to see the head monk.. well my son have u anythin to say.. man replies.. bed lumpy.. ok says the head monk ill get someone to sort that 10 years pass again and hes before the head monk again.. well my son its now 20 years have u anything to say.. food cold.. ok says the head monk, ill have a word with the chef for u and sort it out another 10 years pass well my son its 30 years have u anything to say? .. water warn.. ok says the head monk ill have then to give water from the colder tap another 10 years pass and the man is in front of the head monk.. he asks well son have u anything to say.. yes says the man, its been 40 years any to tell u the truth im sick of this and i want out! oh thank god says the head monk, uve done nothing but moan since u got here! 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 26, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 26, 2008 what do u call an irish man under a wheel barrow? a mechanic! 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 26, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 26, 2008 Irish Declare War On America President Bush, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Bush!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Paddy," bush replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!" bush paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Bush asks. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Bush sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you." Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!" Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!" "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Bush! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war." "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Bush. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no fuckin way we can feed 200,000 prisoners. 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 26, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 26, 2008 An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf." 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 26, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 26, 2008 Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat." 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Janna Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 To all joke contributors, Thanks for the laughs. Nice way to start my day. Patient Care Services & UK Patient Advisor for Shapiro Medical Dr. Ron Shapiro, Dr. Paul Shapiro and Dr. David Josephitis are members of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians. http://shapiromedical.com/info@shapiromedical.com http://shapiromedical.com/contact/request-a-consultation/janna@shapiromedical.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member chucky Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 I agree Janna the jokes are good fun and i like how Petesmans are all about his fellow countrymen not that i have anything against them.They`re good drinkers as well 2 x strip ht`s with Norton,very poor results 1 x fue ht with DHI,very poor result Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 27, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 as they say, god gave ireland the drink to stop us taking over the world... 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member chucky Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 For all you guys who have wondered what NG2GB looks like here it is.He is the guy with the beard and theres even a guest appearance from Alba. watch the link provided. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=TmFsmxWX9y0 2 x strip ht`s with Norton,very poor results 1 x fue ht with DHI,very poor result Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member notgoing2gobald Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 ChuCKy Pre-Plugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member notgoing2gobald Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 The New Chucky: ChuCKy pOsT-pLugZ & nEw tHreAdz rEaDy 2 hiT dA' sTreEtz pimPeD-oUt bRitIsH sTyLe... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member chucky Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 How did you get those pictures ,thet were confidential. Nice mop of hair i`ve got though,wheres the milf let me at them. 2 x strip ht`s with Norton,very poor results 1 x fue ht with DHI,very poor result Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member notgoing2gobald Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 I always wear my "got MILF?" t-shirt when I go out!!! works like a charm. Oh, and I don't trust pumps to blow up my Alba doll's; I inflate her mouth to Alba. I find it allows me to exercise greater control over inflatability and oxygen/rubber ratio... The pumps leave her too stiff and unlife like... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member chucky Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 I heard she likes the pump more as its bigger than 3 inches 2 x strip ht`s with Norton,very poor results 1 x fue ht with DHI,very poor result Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member notgoing2gobald Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 It is true, that I've cornered the market for Alba dolls. But, here's the other model you guys could order... As for me, Im keeping my ENTIRE harem of Alba's all to Me One's-Ies!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member chucky Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 Hey at least he has a good head of hair. 2 x strip ht`s with Norton,very poor results 1 x fue ht with DHI,very poor result Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member notgoing2gobald Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 according to the catalogue the previous owner applied Rogaine 5% foam TWICE daily; so if it's the hair you like you'd better start ordering rogaine for TWO!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Janna Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 Dang, I picked the wrong day to post on this thread. All the alerts are now of chucky and NOT's true loves. Petesman, where are you? Maybe you should start your own thread of your funny jokes. Patient Care Services & UK Patient Advisor for Shapiro Medical Dr. Ron Shapiro, Dr. Paul Shapiro and Dr. David Josephitis are members of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians. http://shapiromedical.com/info@shapiromedical.com http://shapiromedical.com/contact/request-a-consultation/janna@shapiromedical.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 27, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 im here janna,, im just frozen with rage and i cant type coz my precious joke thread is on the verge of turning into something else!! aarrrrrggghh..... hehe 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member chucky Posted February 27, 2008 Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 Foam for two sounds good as long as its extra large,anyway on that video you dont need a ht .Just turn ya head upside down. Janna stop m**fing about with us Petesman will be here shortly i`m sure,he is already. 2 x strip ht`s with Norton,very poor results 1 x fue ht with DHI,very poor result Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member petesman Posted February 27, 2008 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 27, 2008 Did you hear about the worst Irish aviation disaster... A light aircraft crashed into a grave yard, the police have recovered 800 bodies! 2200 DHI Ireland june 2007 Rogaine 5% may 2007 Lasercomb jan 2008 Nizoral aug 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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