Frustrated with family/friends...

[thanatopsis_awry]

Has anyone else found it to be painfully difficult to get family and/or friends to emphathize with your hair loss dilemma?

 

My entire family, as well as my friends, have "great" hair; by which I mean they all have pretty much the same, normal hair that they were born with and grew to know and love; when I try to talk with my parents about how deeply my hair loss affects me, and how it seeps into so many facets of my life its like I'm talking to a brick wall....I basically get cast as some overly dramatic narcissist..."ya, thats too bad, you'll just get over it and move on, its really not so bad".

 

I seriously wish I was just born bald so I wouldn't have to go through ~20 years of follicular fondess, "falling in love", and then suddenly find my image and aesthetic existence crumbling apart.

 

**ending vent**

[thanatopsis_awry]

Has anyone else found it to be painfully difficult to get family and/or friends to emphathize with your hair loss dilemma?

 

My entire family, as well as my friends, have "great" hair; by which I mean they all have pretty much the same, normal hair that they were born with and grew to know and love; when I try to talk with my parents about how deeply my hair loss affects me, and how it seeps into so many facets of my life its like I'm talking to a brick wall....I basically get cast as some overly dramatic narcissist..."ya, thats too bad, you'll just get over it and move on, its really not so bad".

 

I seriously wish I was just born bald so I wouldn't have to go through ~20 years of follicular fondess, "falling in love", and then suddenly find my image and aesthetic existence crumbling apart.

 

**ending vent**

[MrJobi]

Hi

 

Well, you have come to the right place.. 90% of the people on this forum have gone through your pain of hairloss. As far as empathy, many times you get it but on the other hand you get the comments and jokes.. If they really don't budge I would sit them down and tell them how much it really bothers you .. Try to find a subject which is sensitive to them and use it as a comparison..

 

How old are you? Ever consider medicine or Ht's

[Bill - Seemiller]

The bottom line is...people who don't experience it first hand, don't get it.

 

This is true for any ailment. Those who are in shape and fit don't understand the struggle of the overweight person, because they can't directly relate.

 

One of my co-workers made a few wise cracks about my bald spot (he was 20 at the time) - and this was right before or after my first HT. He had no indication of hair loss. I blew it off, even though he said it in front of many other people.

 

Oddly enough, he now has a bigger bald spot than I do - now that mine isn't really a bald spot anymore - just a thin spot. Him and I have had a talk about his hair loss in the crown, and now he understands what it feels like.

 

So we feel your pain my friend.

 

Bill

[Al - Moderator]

I know exactly what you mean. My dad had full thick hair well into his 50s and my mom felt if I wanted to have hair I should stop making mine fall out. She thought I was purposely pulling my hair out of my head. I think to this day she still feels it was my fault that my hair fell out.

 

I took my mom with me to the HT consultation just so I could have someone else there to make sure I'm not just hearing what I wanted to hear. A few years later when I had a lawsuit going on she refused to help or be a witness because she insisted that if the doctor said I would have a full head of hair and could have the hairline where I wanted it then it was my fault if that didn't happen.

[tisab]

haha Bill im surprised you didnt crack jokes on him.

 

i would bring him in a room and tell all the co-workers that its a surprise party for him so everyone shows up, and when he shows up, just straight point and laugh at his bold spot!

 

haha jp

 

but yes what Bill said is true, what people dont experience, dont really get it.

 

but you did come to the right place, when i first landed on this site, i was on this site all the time, it felt like a place that i was comfortable with. over time you understand that you are not the only one losing hair, and that it is normal(eventhough that is not what you want to hear, its the truth). eventually you know its not the end of the world and that you can fix your hairloss problem, with propecia, rogaine and when your knowledgeful and ready, and old enuff you can take the plunge for a ht.

 

hope i helped

[thanatopsis_awry]

I have to say that finding the forums, educating myself, and realizing that "I'm not alone" has definitely helped considerably....MPB is pretty wretched; and being admittedly very sensitive in general and self-critical, going through my hair loss the past year has been brutal.

 

But with the help of the forum, and always making sure I make educated decisions in my best interest, I am commited and positive that I'll win the war!

[bezane]

I disagree that hair loss has any relation whatsoever to something like someone being fit and someone being overweight. Hair loss, can not be changed. You are losing your hair. Generally speaking someone that is out of shape can usually determine that they may have a say in their situation.

 

Nevertheless. My advice is to work hard on realizing that whether you stay bald, look bald, shave it, go for the HT, do the work on your inside. Don't let it stop you from pursuit of money, hobby or whatever it is you want. My hair loss ruined my life. Today I feel I'm ready to start over. But over 15 years was spent worrying and hiding. And you know what? It didn't matter. I should have just said "fuck it." The worrying even stopped my pursuit of a HT to correct the 50 bad plugs Nuhart did.

 

Deciding on a ht and deciding to go about your business in the mean time are two very different things. Do not expect ANYONE to understand. In the words of NIKE....just do it. And best of luck to you. Don't let it take your life.

[MrJobi]

I'm with Bezane

 

Being overwright is a different situation as it is self inflicted. We can get technical and say " no it's an addiction , etc. etc. but many people including myself have overcome this by just eating less and exercising". Baldness, cannot be prevented and is not self inflicted..

Regardless, having 3 HT's was the best best thing I have done in my life to change my attitude.. It also has changes the way people perceive me.

[calvinmd]

Nobody gets it without having had it.

 

You'll be lucky if you can even convince most of your friends/family that you're not really "causing it" somehow. (Eating, exercise, pulling your hair too much, etc.) Most people will probably just say "Don't worry, you'll look fine bald."

 

The fact that they're prone to absolutely sh*tting themselves over a single bad hair DAY, whereas you've just been sentenced to a bad hair LIFE, and yours will only get worse every day for the rest of your existence . . .

 

You can tell them, and they'll hear your words clearly, and they can repeat it back to you. But they never really GET IT.

 

 

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[Bill - Seemiller]

I think I missed something...

 

Who said being overweight or fit had anything to do with hair loss?

 

The only thing anyone said about being overweight or fit was me...but I wasn't referring to a direct correlation between fitness and hair. I was creating a metaphor...get it?

 

Read my statement again:

 

"The bottom line is...people who don't experience it first hand, don't get it. "

 

What I mean here is they don't UNDERSTAND what it's like to go through it.

 

"This is true for any ailment. Those who are in shape and fit don't understand the struggle of the overweight person, because they can't directly relate."

 

This second statement relates to the first statement. This is called a metaphor .

 

Cheers,

 

Bill