Changing your mindset, crushing the new year - how to?

[londonhairlossvictim]

Hey guys, I'm doing this before New Years because I hate the idea of having to wait for new years to have a "Resolutions"

I reviewed my year and even the year before. For 2 years I am missing a girl I let go, was all my fault. I even carry the guilt. Not just this but alot of things I spoke of, and said I will do I have not done. My progress the last 2 years has been pretty stagnant for a person with my skills and talents and level of discipline.

I am really angry at myself, and want to use this pain and channel it into the right way and really go after my goals in 2022 - to erase these bad last 2 years.

Have any of you been in such a situation? What did you do to turn things around, both financially and success wise?
I hear alot the idea of people writing goals, then attaching dates to them. I have never done this and I am considering to now. 
Anything else?

[HappyMan2021]

56 minutes ago, londonhairlossvictim said:

Have any of you been in such a situation? What did you do to turn things around, both financially and success wise?

Lessons I experienced in 2021

Career: If you don't like your job and/or think you are undervalued, then f*ck your employer and find a new job. Employer/employee loyalty has been dead for decades now. It truly is the time of the Great Resignation. I changed jobs this year and got a 50% salary increase. 

I have been on many different job searches, and feel the stigma of job-hopping is really dying out. Even with a "permanent" full-time position, I consider every job to be a temporary contract position really. 

If you are a salaried worker, the only way to get a significant boost is to change careers. You will only get a significant raise if you are BFFs with upper management. 

Unless you truly love your job and/or close to retirement, plan on changing jobs every 3-4 years. When workers stay in jobs that only offer measly 2% cost of living raises at best, they are actually losing money in the end. Because inflation and true cost of living will always outpace these bare-bones salary increases. 

Romance: Life is too short to waste months or even years thinking about a girl and not letting her know how you feel. If you have nothing to lose (except rejection), the be bold and let your crush or romantic interest know how you feel. 

It can be really hard expressing your affection for someone, because it means you need to be vulnerable, communicate your raw innate emotions, and open yourself to what may honestly be a significant chance of rejection. 

But chicks love when guys are vulnerable with their emotions (it is romantic to be vulnerable) so whether the outcome is good or bad, I'm sure she will respect and admire you for being open, honest, and direct with your feelings. 

 

 

Edited December 24, 2021 by SadMan2021

[deeznuts]

I hate resolutions personally. There's a connotation to it where people pick up a resolution and drop it about 2 weeks later. A month if they're a bit more committed.

In the gym, back when gym was still a thing, at the start of every year we'd always notice the resolutioners who crowd the gym for the first 2 or 3 weeks and then give up after. Some people feel obligated to make resolutions every year and every year they give up on them once there's enough distance from New Years. I don't know why but New Years resolutions seem to never stick. 

The number one thing about resolutions is that you should worry less about resolutions or some arbitrary start/end date, and more about going out and doing whatever it is you're planning to do now. If you want to improve your job, I'd literally just start now instead of waiting until Jan 1 2022. Start studying, start job hunting, start writing your resume.

Same with girls. Just do it. No need to wait until 2022. Get into the grindset today. Keep on trucking.

Another thing is that I find goals don't get me anywhere so much as habits do. They say excellence is a habit. It's just something you do every day not something you switch on at 12:00 AM Jan 1 2022. The way I've always got into the habit of doing things is just to figure out a way to work it into my daily routine. Like after work, hit the gym. No questions asked. After gym, go study. After studying, make sure you hit the hay by a certain hour. Some people are legitimately passionate and obsessive about hitting their goals and it's easy for them. But for a lot of others, it's just about successful habits and staying consistent through your life. 

Successful habits are everything.

[londonhairlossvictim]

5 hours ago, deeznuts said:

I hate resolutions personally. There's a connotation to it where people pick up a resolution and drop it about 2 weeks later. A month if they're a bit more committed.

In the gym, back when gym was still a thing, at the start of every year we'd always notice the resolutioners who crowd the gym for the first 2 or 3 weeks and then give up after. Some people feel obligated to make resolutions every year and every year they give up on them once there's enough distance from New Years. I don't know why but New Years resolutions seem to never stick. 

The number one thing about resolutions is that you should worry less about resolutions or some arbitrary start/end date, and more about going out and doing whatever it is you're planning to do now. If you want to improve your job, I'd literally just start now instead of waiting until Jan 1 2022. Start studying, start job hunting, start writing your resume.

Same with girls. Just do it. No need to wait until 2022. Get into the grindset today. Keep on trucking.

Another thing is that I find goals don't get me anywhere so much as habits do. They say excellence is a habit. It's just something you do every day not something you switch on at 12:00 AM Jan 1 2022. The way I've always got into the habit of doing things is just to figure out a way to work it into my daily routine. Like after work, hit the gym. No questions asked. After gym, go study. After studying, make sure you hit the hay by a certain hour. Some people are legitimately passionate and obsessive about hitting their goals and it's easy for them. But for a lot of others, it's just about successful habits and staying consistent through your life. 

Successful habits are everything.

I agree with everything you wrote - it's about the habits and consistency. Thanks for this