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Depression & guilt over HT's


altair

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  • Regular Member

I am considering having repair work done on a bad HT from 15 yrs ago. I am sure the cost will be high. I had the HT when I was single and had to start wearing a piece to cover the botched job for the past 15 yrs. I am now married with a child and feel very guilty at spending money which we do not have for a procedure. I actually have become depressed over the matter. Has anyone out there dealt with this situation? Any suggestions<

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  • Regular Member

I am considering having repair work done on a bad HT from 15 yrs ago. I am sure the cost will be high. I had the HT when I was single and had to start wearing a piece to cover the botched job for the past 15 yrs. I am now married with a child and feel very guilty at spending money which we do not have for a procedure. I actually have become depressed over the matter. Has anyone out there dealt with this situation? Any suggestions<

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  • Senior Member

It can be very depressing to have a problem hair transplant.

 

Have you met with any doctors yet? Because there's a chance that you'll decide that the improvement from repair surgery won't be good enough to make the cost and hassle worthwhile. You may very well decide that continuing to wear a hairpiece is your best option for the time being.

 

One of your tasks is to figure out how much improvement you can realistically expect from corrective surgery. Then you can start to weigh the pros and cons of getting corrective surgery.

 

Some doctors donate work to people in need, so contact the doctors you're interested in, and worry about the finances later (consultations should be free). Figure out if repair surgery is what you want, before sweating the costs.

 

Some guys get major improvement from corrective surgery, while other guys might not get as dramatic improvement. Get a handle on where you'll end up, if you decide to invest in more surgery.

 

As far as dealing with the depression, try to stay busy, don't dwell on it, and I also find that getting exercise is helpful.

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altair,

First, I agree with what Arfy says. Take your time, do your homework, and consider your options very carefully.

I know exactly how you feel about the guilt. My situation was very similar to yours. I started down the HT path when I was single, and now I have a wife and 2 kids. I never wore a piece, but I felt like I had no other options than to go for a repair procedure. The fact is that guys like us were DUPED. It's not our fault. I don't care what anyone says. What I was sold at Bosely and what I got were two different things.

So if a doc says that a repair is possible, how does that compare with the cost of wearing a piece over a period of time? I know that was one of the sales tactics that Bosley used years ago, but I guess the price of the hair pieces can add up over time. Not to mention the hassels and constraints that can accompany wearing a piece. I'm not trying to sell you one way or another, just trying to look at it objectively.

As far as the money goes, some doctors will cut you some slack. You won't know unless you ask. If a repair is a good option and you can swing it financially, the financial strain might out weigh the mental burden of not having it repaired. In my own sitation, I felt guilty because I felt like I should be saving the money for my kids' college. I finally realized that I have some time to get it together(my kids are very young) and when the time comes, I will make their education possible NO MATTER WHAT. My wife just said "do what what you gotta do and get it over with". I think being happy with myself helps me to be a better father and husband. Feel free to email if I can help out. Good luck.

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  • Regular Member

altair...

 

Depression is a nasty thing...it affects your work/productivity, personal life, and most importantly affects those around you.

 

Write down a set of goals for yourself. Lets say 1 year from now you want to have a ht...

First email/phone/visit (if possible)quality docs that can do your corrective ht. Alot of docs will work with you on price...tell them your story and let them know that you will be saving monthly to get your ht. Next, tighten the buckle a little...less eating out, more brown-bagging for lunch, no cable/satellite, no designer clothes. Go to public places like the park/beach instead of the amusement park or the movies. Have a garage sale or get on ebay and sell stuff that is in the closet/garage. Pick up a second job.

 

Inner peace and happiness for you and your family is too important to pass up...you cannot put a pricetag on this. Living your life thinking..."what if?" is a sure way to become bitter, depressed and resentful of those around you.

 

Good luck to you and feel free to email me anytime.

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altair,

I too, can simphize. I had my personal boughts with getting older faster than my age. Sunk into depression. Pretty much lost my selfasteem. One of the biggest things that I found helped me through it, was finding something to focus on. I chose my career. And because of that, I would not be financial secure. I have found something I enjoy, which helped me through it all.

I still suffer from a selfesteem issue. The world isn't kind. People are quick to point out your flaws, and it only supports what you are depressed about.

I have had two HT's now. 1st when 26, then 2nd at 28.

I plan on getting one more. All density.

 

Good Luck to you. Find something to focus on. Something perferably that you can make money on, wether it's your career, or some kind of investment.

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Altair,

 

Check out Dr Cooley in Charlotte and see if he can help. I'm in the Army and was duped by a "dr" into HT and it totally destroyed my life. I met Dr Cooley and he has given me hope in repairing the scar. He is above all an ethical Dr who puts patients first.If he can't help you I'm sure he can put you in the right direction.Where are you from in SC?? I'm orginally from Chas. Stay strong and keep busy. dltrojanz is right stay busy and focused. I have been severly depresed also over my HT and am trying to work out a plan to get my life back. Stay strong and don't let this get you down. take care steve

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