Senior Member NervousNelly Posted July 1, 2007 Senior Member Share Posted July 1, 2007 Everyone, It seems like lately there is always some strife or issues or debates that get underway in a thread and then the initial message or concern of the poster is lost. I realize that this site was created for informative purposes and the last thing that we want to start doing is being yes people and telling others what it is that they want to hear but... Let's not lose sight that these are individuals that in many cases are seeking support and comfort in a very serious decision in their lives. For example: A recent poster who was new to the site explained about his upcoming procedure and how it would be over 2 days. He was excited and looking forward to seeing some changes in his appearance. Many of us (myself included) were a little concerned about why the procedure needed to be 2 days. We got so entangled and bothered about this surgical approach (by a coalition doc I might ad) that we never provided him any encouragement or support. At one point he was disgusted and was not going to continue to post. What benefit would that be to this site. Would we learn anything as he would not post of his experience. How many of us wished him luck even after he came back and stated about his continued enthusiasm?? What about the recent female poster that again is looking for support and encouragement? Now there is a little ego struggle taking place by members and their opinions. Let's not battle thru their thread when we start to lose site of what it was they came here for in the 1st place. Start a new thread or pm each other. Please don't think that I am stating that we have to tell people what they want to hear. If they don't look good or had poor/old technology by all means state it diplomatically. Let's just all practise a little couth. Hopefully I won't get blasted on this thread for stating my opiniion, but lets not forget that we are dealing with human beings with insecurities and concerns. We need to attempt to resolve our differences but at the same time never forget why the people are here. NN NN Dr.Cole,1989. ??graftcount Dr. Ron Shapiro. Aug., 2007 Total graft count 2862 Total hairs 5495 1hairs--916 2hairs--1349 3hairs--507 4hairs--90 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member NervousNelly Posted July 1, 2007 Author Senior Member Share Posted July 1, 2007 Everyone, It seems like lately there is always some strife or issues or debates that get underway in a thread and then the initial message or concern of the poster is lost. I realize that this site was created for informative purposes and the last thing that we want to start doing is being yes people and telling others what it is that they want to hear but... Let's not lose sight that these are individuals that in many cases are seeking support and comfort in a very serious decision in their lives. For example: A recent poster who was new to the site explained about his upcoming procedure and how it would be over 2 days. He was excited and looking forward to seeing some changes in his appearance. Many of us (myself included) were a little concerned about why the procedure needed to be 2 days. We got so entangled and bothered about this surgical approach (by a coalition doc I might ad) that we never provided him any encouragement or support. At one point he was disgusted and was not going to continue to post. What benefit would that be to this site. Would we learn anything as he would not post of his experience. How many of us wished him luck even after he came back and stated about his continued enthusiasm?? What about the recent female poster that again is looking for support and encouragement? Now there is a little ego struggle taking place by members and their opinions. Let's not battle thru their thread when we start to lose site of what it was they came here for in the 1st place. Start a new thread or pm each other. Please don't think that I am stating that we have to tell people what they want to hear. If they don't look good or had poor/old technology by all means state it diplomatically. Let's just all practise a little couth. Hopefully I won't get blasted on this thread for stating my opiniion, but lets not forget that we are dealing with human beings with insecurities and concerns. We need to attempt to resolve our differences but at the same time never forget why the people are here. NN NN Dr.Cole,1989. ??graftcount Dr. Ron Shapiro. Aug., 2007 Total graft count 2862 Total hairs 5495 1hairs--916 2hairs--1349 3hairs--507 4hairs--90 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 1, 2007 Share Posted July 1, 2007 Nervous Nelly, Your post rings true! Many times us members get caught up in debates that we are trying to win. Some of us like debating so much I wonder if we aren't like politicians trying to get votes! A lot of the debates can be very informative to the newbies, on the other hand thier original topic is left in the dust & they go away without the help they were seeking. We definetly don't want that happening! I, like you Nervous am beginning to realize that we are being depended on by people suffering with hairloss to give them sound, objective opinions & advice. They are desperate in some cases & our advice can mean a great deal to them. So I agree that we should steer clear of self serving debates & do what we are here to do. Help people who like us are searching for answere's to thier Hairloss problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member MrJobi Posted July 1, 2007 Senior Member Share Posted July 1, 2007 Good post I would say it is best if we remain objective without being condecending or pre-judging the situation.. Everyone in not looking for 5000 grafts sessions and/or has a doctor who recommends it. Let's step outside of our own preferences and focus on the poster ( or what's best for them if needed) JOBI 1417 FUT - Dr. True 1476 FUT - Dr. True 2124 FUT - Dr. True 604 FUE - Dr. True My views are based on my personal experiences, research and objective observations. I am not a doctor. Total - 5621 FU's uncut! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member pushing 40 Posted July 1, 2007 Senior Member Share Posted July 1, 2007 Yeah, whatever....screw you guys... Sorry I couldn't resist. (my kids say I'm not funny but what do they know!) I seldom come along for the long debates but I have however been less than diplomatic in a few instances. I just have NO patience for stupid. So many times guys come on here and are so damn silly it makes me want to scream. I'm learning to just shut up and mind my own. Promise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member MrJobi Posted July 1, 2007 Senior Member Share Posted July 1, 2007 Well, If someone is stupid than all bets are off. One cannot have a battle of wits when the other is defenseless JOBI 1417 FUT - Dr. True 1476 FUT - Dr. True 2124 FUT - Dr. True 604 FUE - Dr. True My views are based on my personal experiences, research and objective observations. I am not a doctor. Total - 5621 FU's uncut! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member nobuzz4me Posted July 2, 2007 Senior Member Share Posted July 2, 2007 NN, Great post, couldn't agree with you more. NoBuzz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member NervousNelly Posted July 2, 2007 Author Senior Member Share Posted July 2, 2007 AFTER I posted this thread now Fuzzy wants to stop posting. NN NN Dr.Cole,1989. ??graftcount Dr. Ron Shapiro. Aug., 2007 Total graft count 2862 Total hairs 5495 1hairs--916 2hairs--1349 3hairs--507 4hairs--90 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 NN, I agree completely. Sometimes, however, issues come up that extend from the original post that are important to address. I often wrestle with how much should be discussed in the current thread verses making a new thread to continue the discussion. I think opting for the latter is the best approach. I feel bad that fuzzywuzzy got lost in the process of a recent thread, though I believe this has been rectified. On another different but similar topic (And I'm speaking GENERALLY here)... We also have to wrestle with what it means to "encourage" one another. When I think of encouragement, I think of giving somebody good news, cheering them on, helping them along, etc. But let's not also forget that honesty is an important part of encouragement... We don't want to sugar coat what we see just because we want to remain positive. Helping someone along sometimes mean giving bad news so they can learn from it and grow...and in cases that are present here: make better decisions. I believe most people here are very good at this... But it goes back to what I said before... There is NO perfect way to do anything. Offer support and honesty in the best way you know how. Speak with tact, but also what is best for the patient moving forward. Great post NN... Hopefully we remember that though education is a vital part of the mission of this community, encouragement and helps are equally important. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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